Jan 14, 2008

Newz and Notez

I made a New Yearz Resolution to start replacing the letter 's' at the end of words with the letter 'z.' This should in turn give me the appearance of being an O.G. and therefore garnering street cred. The import of credibility for a wee bitty blog is huge. In the past week, our influence has been very prominent throughout the world. Let me give some examplez:
  • After bringing up some anomalies in the New Hampshire primary results, the great state of New Hampshire will begin their recount on Jan 16. Special thanks to Cap'n, who had his bootz on the ground and to Dennis Kucinich for his ever expanding steel ballz.

  • The vacationing Iranians playing a little "I'm not touching you" and strongly worded letterz were not enough for Cap'n. But it seems to have worked. The days of war-mongering are over. Our fearless President mad the following statement in Abu Dhabi (not to be confused with Abu Gharib) to our Middle Eastern friends to show that a new leaf has been turned.
"In a democracy, leaders depend on their people -- and most people do not want war and bloodshed and violence." --G.W.Bush
Finally, I would like to give some free advice to whomever will listen in the city of Chicago. We are famous for being politically, uh, creative. Yet a recent event occurred that has me flabbergasted at the lack of creativity being shown. Starting January 1, 2008 smoking was banned from bars, etc. That's it. Just banned. At a time when we cannot fund public transportation or new election equipment. In a city famous for it's cigar bars and blues music.

I humbly submit a proposal. Have a "smoking bar" permit. You allow one a block. They cost a monthly fee. There is a certain air quality that must be maintained to keep said permit. And did I mention it costs money? Just another of my suggestionz.

No comments: