Nov 30, 2009

ClimateGate vs ClimateFaith™

The story broke last week.

I've been hesitating a discussion of the story, since it seems that the source material was taken by a hacker breaking in, so to me it isn't entirely credible. But after some deliberation, and remembering that the New York Times had no problem showing e-mails hacked from a Sarah Palin campaign staffer last year... and, since the BBC has been trying to squash the story for two weeks, I'm looking for my 'I told you so hat' right now.

What's interesting to me about this e-mail story... oh, sorry you haven't heard about that? The emails that were hacked and then spread on the internet, by a group called wikileaks supposedly reveal top officials at a leading British anthropogenic global-warming advocacy center intentionally suppressing and manipulating scientific data to suit their political agenda. It's fairly damning stuff, if you've read it. It seems they've been caught red-handed grousing—in writing— that available empirical evidence doesn't accommodate their warming alarmist agenda.

Example from the e-mail: "The fact is that we can't account for the lack of warming at the moment, and it is a travesty that we can't."

Refusing to allow facts to get in the way of their pseudo-religious fervor!? The researchers collude to tweak their own data and falsify results!? ClimateFaith™ is more terrifying than the church!

Example: "I’ve just completed Mike’s Nature trick of adding in the real temps to each series for the last 20 years (ie from 1981 onwards) amd [sic] from1961 for Keith’s to hide the decline."

And if you want to read those potentially incriminating emails in full, go to: An Elegant Chaos org where they have all been posted in searchable form.

Ah, but let's just pass over the fact that they were shaking down governments and corporations for their funding. Let's forget they accuse those who question their conclusions are the ones who are taking handouts from Big Oil? Let's also not mention that the main stream media doesn't want to discuss this story. The media has dismissed the "off the cuff remarks" in the email, you should totally ignore all that 'insider language'. But some how that same language found their way into "off the cuff" computer code. FORTRAN (shudder) code labled 'fudge factor'or. Oops. Here's a pile of other examples compiled by Bishop Hill. But the media won't print the emails since they weren't intended "for the public eye." Funny how the high code of journalistic ethics can be flipped off for, say, the Pentagon Papers, and flipped back on for their friends involved in ClimateFaith™.

For links to all the latest updates on this, I recommend Marc Morano’s invaluable Climate Depot site.

But the story that's being missed, I mean other than the fraud, is that this should be the Ahha moment in ClimateFaith™ akin to Martin Luther nailing a note on the church door.

It's the proverbial moment, a tipping point where questions are finally asked. How the hell can those jokers at Blasphemes be right? Look gang, I never questioned ClimateFaith™ to win friends. I questioned things because that's what I do. I was never satisfied with the data and the lack of real peer review that was presented by Al Gore and his famous Academy Award winning Power Point presentation. (And anyone who gives an award to Michael Moore for "documentary" obviously doesn't take the award seriously.) I have contended, as with dissenting NASA Scientists that the SUN has been the main component in the climate of the earth.

I have seen precisely zero evidence that global warning is an artifice of Man, and man alone. In fact, I have seen little evidence, much of which is specious (and this all before Climategate), that warming is occurring at all. That CO2 levels are rising, and indeed they can be shown to be, and coincidentally the human population is growing, is a false correlation. "Proof" of that relationship has come in the form of a great deal of data, in which huge assumptions about relationships are made (e.g. tree ring size to temperature, and we're talking trees - so what 100 or 200 years, tops? Isn't that the entire span of the Industrial Age?) Also, another false correlation (one that becomes weaker in the last decade) is that between rising temperatures and rising levels of carbon dioxide. Carbon dioxide is hardly an issue compared to water... water vapor is a lot more reflective, but there's nothing sexy about that I guess? And, again, zero data on solar cycles - and even less about the heat sync capabilities of our oceans. That pesky water.

Also, had you ever heard of a Climate Scientist before 1996? Climate scientists are self-proclaimed in their field. I have no direct experience in meteorology (the true Earth science relevant here) nor do I have understanding of reaction chemistry, molecular spectroscopy and photochemistry, and reaction kinetics, or any experience in thermodynamics and physics to speak on any level of authority, but apparently, neither do any of these other folks. It should also be understood that if I can't comprehend an explanation in excruciating detail about how a self-proclaimed climate scientists knows something is true, then you can hardly expect me to jump on board. And you shouldn't either without at least questioning the results. Even your local weatherman can't figure out if it's going to rain three days out, but we're convinced that the earth is going to become Venus in 50 years if we don't give money. If that's not religion, I'm not doing my job right.

But what I'm excited about is that as we discover that the current ClimateFaith™ models are simply made up may raise an eyebrow or two that haven't been raised.

Cracks are forming and new revelations are seeping out. In fact, just today scientists at the University of East Anglia (UEA) have admitted throwing away much of the raw temperature data on which their predictions of global warming are based.

It means that other academics are not able to check basic calculations said to show a long-term rise in temperature over the past 150 years. The data were gathered from weather stations around the world and then adjusted to take account of variables in the way they were collected. The revised figures were kept, but the originals — stored on paper and magnetic tape — were dumped to save space when the CRU moved to a new building. Oh, sorry, was that important or something?

Former Chancellor Lord (Nigel) Lawson, last week launching his new think tank, the Global Warming Policy Foundation , rightly called for a proper independent inquiry into the maze of skulduggery revealed by the CRU leaks.

Before you get all excited, it'll be chaired by Lord Rees, President of the Royal Society – itself long a shameless propagandist for the warmist cause. Our hopelessly compromised scientific establishment cannot be allowed to get away with a whitewash of what has become the greatest scientific scandal of our generation, and possibly of the age.

Meanwhile, the world leaders are gathering to place cap-n-trade restrictions on the entire world based on their friend's compromised data.

Chicago Jay

Done and done. Bears got Farv'd. The purple Jebus eliminated the Bears from the playoffs after the first quarter yesterday.

Go Hawks.

Go Colts.

Roach Arena

Seriously? How many cockroaches must you have to require an ARENA for them?!? I wonder if it's jointly built with roach taxpayer money to a single roach family who duped the city and state for matching funds?

Nov 29, 2009

Guns Save Lives

A Chevron gas station manager reported shot a violent armed robber in self defense.

Around 9:20 PM, a robber entered the Chevron gas station in Cocoa, Florida. He pointed a handgun at the manager while demanding money. The manager reportedly grabbed his own gun from below the counter and fired in self defense. He hit the criminal and caused him to flee to the parking lot. He collapsed. Police arrived and found their 'suspect' laying the parking lot. He had gunshot wounds to the abdomen. The suspect was then airlifted to a hospital for emergency surgery, where he was listed in critical but stable condition. The would-be-predator survived to fight another day, and the cost to taxpayers to pay his medical expenses for being shot, his prosecution expenses, his defense expenses, his incarceration expenses and emotional trauma, no doubt. If the attendant had spent a little more time in the firing range, maybe all these expenses could have been avoided?

Neither the gas station manager nor any other innocent people were harmed. Speaking about this self defense shooting, Police Spokesperson Officer Barbara Matthews reported stated, "He absolutely had the right to defend himself.

Unarmed individuals can suffer a terrible fate when a criminal robs them, even if they fully cooperate with the criminal’s demands. The same is true for those who try to run from the robber.

On the other hand, fighting back can be quite effective in reducing the risk of injury to the victim. Here's a story of an armed barber who shot an armed criminal who threatened him and his son, saving both their lives. Here's another story of armed pet shop clerk shot an armed robber who threatened a fellow employee’s life, as well as his own life, preventing them both from being stabbed. I've got another story of an armed pizza delivery man defended himself against 3 armed robbers, and walked away unharmed! This armed citizen stopped a bank robber, while this armed Israeli citizen stopped a terrorist. This motel clerk was also able to stop an armed robber and ensure that neither her, a fellow employee, or a nearby mother and baby were harmed. Even outside the context of armed robbery, self defense has been shown to be the best course of action.

An armed society is a safe society,

Sunday Comics

Week in Review part II, some things I either didn't have time to tackle, tried to tackle... or just some crap that's kind of funny.

First, there was that whole hacker read some unfiltered email about ClimateFaith being absolute gangster crap - and it's all about a shakedown.

Oprah's leaving - (I did cover that)
And this one kind of goes with my Turkey Day 2059 article.

That's the week that was, again, see you Monday.

Dud Bears

As most regular Blasphemes readers know, I've been cursed with the idea that I'm a Bears Fan. This year was supposed to be different. This year, we had a QB. Never mind, all along, I knew we had no one to throw to, an offensive line that looked like an old and worn out sieve. And an aging Defense that was one key injury away from being completely ineffectual.

I hate being right.

Even if the expectations hadn't been put on top of the Sears Tower, and even if Urlacker hand't been hurted... and maybe if they hadn't played on Sunday night three times... (jebus) it was an impossible task to be put on anyone's shoulders. Just ask Kyle Orton - oooh, that stings.

Now there's a scramble to find the scapegoat for the 2009 season. Ron Turner, everyone's looking at you right now. And Mike Martz shoot down he's going to the Bears rumor , so that means it's probably happening, right?

Bears have the Vikings this weekend. And if you're still watching or following this 'rebuilding year,' you probably won't be after this game.

Go Hawks!

Week in Review

Time for the Week in Review...

Democrats celebrated Thanksgiving on Thursday.
And the "High Holiday" season began the day after, much to the chagrin of Jesus....
Atheists started an ad campaign, which, for the life of me makes no sense:
Okay, creepy people with weird lips curled over their bleached white teeth is more off putting than any of the Jim Jones or Scientology pamphlets I've come across. And how do you have an ad campaign to not believe in something? Either you believe in something, or you don't. What's to gain with an advertisement? It's not like they're asking you to join a group, is it? Atheists don't gather on a Sunday to talk about what they don't believe in.

Last year's slogan “Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness’ sake” was more effective, less inflammatory, and left it less open to wild interpretation from religious people who *may* find this as an attack. You shouldn't be able to argue with the logic that everyone should be accountable to oneself, no matter what or who they believe in. This year's campaign of “No God? No Problem!” is quite vague and confusing, especially with the accompanying image of people wearing Santa Claus hats.

Oh in other news, Blasphemes instituted a "are you Human" requirement to post... sorry about that guys. It's a real pain in the ass, I know.
That's the week that was... see you Monday.

Nov 28, 2009

Target practice, anyone?

Folks, I can't tell you how awesome cool this image or just this idea is. If you've never fired a gun, or are just thinking about it - if you had this in front of your site, you'd never leave the firing range.

Darth Vader, T-800 Terminator, Zombie

Freddy Kruger, Space Invader, Megatron

Godzilla, Agent Smith, Goomba

Bilboard Fail

Mobile, Alabama's WPMI-TV learns the consequences of posting your breaking news tweets on an electronic billboard.
Since the incident, the station's General Manager and News Director were both reportedly suspended for one week by WPMI's ownership.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

From 1960, it's Bugs Bunny and Wile E. Coyote in Rabbit's Feat.

Caption the Party Crashers

"Security didn't give you any trouble either, right? Hell, I didn't even have to show them my birth certificate. They just let me right in."

Nov 27, 2009

Black Friday 2059

Another day after Thanksgiving - or in every retailer, Black Friday.

Folks went shopping yesterday, and at again at 3:00 AM to get... well, I don't know what they were getting, but it couldn't have been worth it.

Typically, a store offering a shinny trinket for $1.99 off retail will only have two of that particular item, and one of them is almost always broken.

It's not like they're giving it away? Are they? And their strategy is to get you into the store so that you only have time to shop at the one store.

And they still call it "door buster" even after those people died in a Wal Mart store last year.

By shopping on black Friday you are basically valuing money over your time.

If you value your time more than money it is a waste.

If you have more time than money it might make sense to shop then.

If you have more money than time it is a waste. - bg2500

Got me thinking... what will this be like in 50 years?

By November 27, 2059, Black Friday camping out had accidentally morphed into a type of adult Easter egg hunt - which had eventually been renamed 'The Turkey Hunt.' It became the last vestige or remnant of American capitalism. It was an easy transition, since African Americans were suing every retailer because of the offensive moniker given to the day. It did not matter that the original name meant that it was the first day a retailer made money that fiscal year... because logic was never the problem - since a persons feelings were hurt, and not hurting someone's feelings was infinitely more important than logic.

The holiday started on the 31st of October, with costumes and candy - and pumpkin decorations to prepare for the Day of the Turkey Hunt. The day before the hunt, a large meal was served, lots of carbs, to get ready for battle. It was the sport of the strong, the tough - the females. They were known as the Lions... since the Lions always played on Turkey Day. Rarely did a male participate. He would sit nervously watching the live feeds from the local stores to see how his wife or daughters fared.

On Turkey Hunt Day, customers would compete by having to scour the stores for the hidden trinket that was featured Pre-Turkey Hunt day announcement. Except that the advertisement was referred to as 'the map.' The CEO of every store dutifully announced the sale items and cryptic clues to the location of each of their store's Golden Pickle. Days, maybe weeks before, retailers would leak clues on their Facebook* and Twitter* (*or their 2059 equivalent) sites dropping hints on where the prized idols might be located. There will be social circles comparing and sharing, and even giving false information as to where the prizes are located. Think Beanie Babies, but in one-on-one, store-to-store basis.

It was a Golden Pickle - because, thirty years ago, and quite accidentally - The Home OfficeDepot offered a pickle to represent the last decoration placed on the old Christmas tree as their Turkey Hunt item. The Home OfficeDepot explained to their customer base that in old World Germany, it was carefully hidden deep into the tree. And adding to the lore, legend had it that the observant child who found it on the 25th was blessed an entire year of good fortune and a special gift. Because of the significance - and due to the war between Asia and Africa that created an extreme shortage of goods and wears - the HomeOffice Depot staff hid the few pickles it had in stock. They hid them in bags of concrete. It was the hardest Turkey Hunt item to find in the history of the 'sport.' The next year, every single store only offered a single Golden Pickle. No one questioned it after that. The Hunt was on.

When the prize of the box store was found, the bidding wars assembled around Mrs. Indiana Jones as she stood in line. This also became an intricate part of the game. Some of the folks even admitted that they never even looked for the prize; they only lie in wait for the winner to get in line to pay. The bidders offered outlandish compensation for the finder's wares. The second phase sometimes got out of hand, resulting in multiple stabbings until the stores finally had to offer private security for the 'winners.' Some times, the prize changed hands up to twenty times before the winner walked out the door - escorted by her security detail.

The prize, once purchased, elevated in value. It was considered the 'best present' ever, and children or loved ones who received that one gift were guaranteed happiness throughout the year - that is until next year's Winter Solstice Day Celebration...

Behind the curtain, the $1.99 golden pickle had no actual value or fuctionality, and since every store has one - slightly different, with their store logo prominently displayed - eventually only purchasing or achieving an entire collection of ALL the golden pickles from ALL the box stores could an individual achieve total happiness. Subsequently, the idea of giving these items away at the end of the solar cycle became Blasphemous. Which in 2059 meant a bad or poorly executed joke.

Entire industries were created to collect all the previous year's pickles, and from multiple stores. The Christmas trees and bowling trophies of a century ago will be set aside to prominently display the family's pickle collection. Great Grandma's Super Wal-Mart pickle of 2048 became the prize of the last will and testament and was expected to be handed down for generations.

There was also a vast black market for counterfeit pickles. In fact, it was the counterfeits that caused it all to end. When the CVSWalgreen's Pickle Scandal was the top blog story of 2063, it was revealed that there seemed to be more CVSWalgreen's Pickles registered than actual CVSWalgreen's stores... which will be an amazing claim since every other store will be CVSWalgreen's by then. There was an amazing crash that took down the entire financial system, because the entire economy revolved around Turkey Hunt Day and the three month period surrounding it. At once, consumers who flocked to the stores to compete and participate considered staying home... which was devastating! The house of cards were falling. As more people questioned the actual value of their Pickles, eBayWall St. suffered its greatest one-day loss, and with it, the bubble burst.

The three month Pumpkin Turkey Hunt Day for the Solstice Celebration finally hit its peak in America. It was all downhill from there.

Nov 25, 2009

Happy Darwin Day

Today marks the 150th Anniversary of the publishing of The Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life.
[Read it Here]

In this book, Darwin described how evolution by natural selection works — and presented a huge body of evidence, drawn from every field of biology then known, that evolution can account for the patterns we see in nature.

Which religious fundies dismiss, not because they observed contradictory scientific evidence, but simply because they "don't believe in it." Well, I'm sure I can just as easily disregard their beliefs as flippantly as they disregard science.

In the meantime, I think the word evolution has been hijacked and we need to look at the concept of 'Adaptation.' My half cent.

There are quite a few celebrations this year of one form or another—the 200th anniversary of the death of Thomas Paine; the 350th anniversary of the birth of Henry Purcell; the 250th anniversary of the death of Handel; the 200th anniversary of the death of Haydn; and the 200th anniversary of the birth of Mendelssohn. There's going to be a lot of concerts in Europe tonight.

Also, please note, it's the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin, and the 150th of the book.

Giving Thanks

...Thou, too, sail on, O Ship of State!
Sail on, O Union, strong and great!
Humanity with all its fears,
With all the hopes of future years,
Is hanging breathless on thy fate!

We know what Master laid thy keel,
What Workmen wrought thy ribs of steel,
Who made each mast, and sail, and rope,
What anvils rang, what hammers beat,
In what a forge and what a heat
Were shaped the anchors of thy hope!

Fear not each sudden sound and shock,
'Tis of the wave and not the rock;
'Tis but the flapping of the sail,
And not a rent made by the gale!
In spite of rock and tempest's roar,
In spite of false lights on the shore,
Sail on, nor fear to breast the sea!

Our hearts, our hopes, are all with thee.
Our hearts, our hopes, our prayers, our tears,
Our faith triumphant o'er our fears,
Are all with thee, -are all with thee!

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"A rising tide lifts all boats"

The philosophy of JFK, whose economic program was aimed at engaging growth through tax cuts

"We may have come on different ships, but we're in the same boat now"

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Happy Thanksgiving


Some Changes Around Here...

Due to the shocking amount of spam comments we've been getting around here on your favorite blog, Blasphemes, we've been forced to engage in some drastic action. We've had to flip the the "Are you a human," or CAPTCHA, on.

We apologize for the massive inconvenience this is to our regular commenters (WaffleMan, Cthulhu) and we're extra sorry for all the folks who are trying to sell Korean Viagra and French, er, ah, Viagra.

We've had a policy of never deleting comments, no matter how dirty, racist or plain stupid they are - especially ones with the worst spelling, those usually attract the Grammar Natzis, which in turn usually ignites a pretty good flame war. But the spam was really starting to pile up.

So, again, we'd like to say sorry to all the hundreds of followers and the thousands of you who like to leave comments and start debates here on Blasphemes, but it's an added step that is necessary - mostly because we're way to lazy to delete the spam piling up in the old posts.

Feel free to comment on- ooh, sore spot.

Nov 24, 2009

Are you sure you want to do that?

Have any gay friends who donate to the big ambiguous Red bucket in front of every store (maybe not Target)? You may want to forward the Salvation Army's stance on homosexuality.

Straight (ugh, sorry) from the horse's mouth... or simply, in their words

The Salvation Army holds a positive view of human sexuality. Where a man and a woman love each other, sexual intimacy is understood as a gift of God to be enjoyed within the context of heterosexual marriage. However, in the Christian view, sexual intimacy is not essential to a healthy, full, and rich life. Apart from marriage, the scriptural standard is celibacy.

Sexual attraction to the same sex is a matter of profound complexity. Whatever the causes may be, attempts to deny its reality or to marginalize those of a same-sex orientation have not been helpful. The Salvation Army does not consider same-sex orientation blameworthy in itself. Homosexual conduct, like heterosexual conduct, requires individual responsibility and must be guided by the light of scriptural teaching.

Scripture forbids sexual intimacy between members of the same sex. The Salvation Army believes, therefore, that Christians whose sexual orientation is primarily or exclusively same-sex are called upon to embrace celibacy as a way of life. There is no scriptural support for same-sex unions as equal to, or as an alternative to, heterosexual marriage.

Likewise, there is no scriptural support for demeaning or mistreating anyone for reason of his or her sexual orientation. The Salvation Army opposes any such abuse.

In keeping with these convictions, the services of The Salvation Army are available to all who qualify, without regard to sexual orientation. The fellowship of Salvation Army worship is open to all sincere seekers of faith in Christ, and membership in The Salvation Army church body is open to all who confess Christ as Savior and who accept and abide by The Salvation Army's doctrine and discipline.

Scriptures: Genesis 2:23-24; Leviticus 18:22; Mark 2:16-17; Romans 1:26-27; Romans 5:8; I Corinthians 6:9-11; I Corinthians 13; Galatians 6:1-2; I Thessalonians 4:1-8; I Thessalonians 5:14-15; I Timothy 1:15-16; Jude 7
I have never know the Salvation Army to refuse help to anyone who needed it. They're big proponents of hating the sin while loving the sinner. However, that is usually just an excuse to pass judgment on the people around you, but it is possible; it just involves hating the sin that's inside yourself, while loving the sinners that surround you, and letting them and god worry about the state of their souls. All I have suggested is that before you put any money in their little red kettles make sure you aren't opposed to the positions of the Salvation Army.

Research where your money goes, sinner.

Nov 23, 2009

US Debt to China

SNL on U.S. Debt to China

Have SNL’s writers been listening to Peter Schiff for material? Surprisingly attacking Obama too, one notes.

Not Sitting Well

Okay, "Free Breakfast" at the hotel. Good deal, that ought to be worth about $20.00 off the tab by way of subtraction by way of repeated borrows or some kind of fancy conversion method. Right? Way too early to be thinking too hard.

Okay we've got a waffle maker over there - hmmmm... lot of work to get that going. Syrup looks a bit off. Hard boiled eggs? Not on a dare. Oatmeal and sugary muffins. Don't see a toaster anywhere... Hellllloooo what's this?

A Jimmy Dean Bacon Egg and Cheese Biscuit? Well, I love McDonald's Bacon Egg and Cheese biscuit! How much difference can there be, really? Wow, the packaging makes it look so big! This is going to be... oh, crap why did I look at the ingredients!? I don't want to know how many calories - ahgh! 21% Saturated fat?! Jebus Chrimmiss! Wait, maybe that means there's a LOT of bacon in there? I mean, it's Jimmy Dean. They're going to hoggify this little waffer of a biscuit so that you go out and buy more of their meat, right? Hell, they probably gave these away for free to the hotel so that you'll be so excited with how awesome and delicious with a pile of bacon on it, you'll be a customer for life for all Jimmy Dean breakfast products. How could a nice guy named Jimmy Dean mean no less than to help a feller out?

Okay, where's the instructions? Bake for 20 minutes -- nope.



Microwave bacon, egg and cheese -- and a biscuit. How 'good' or 'wholesome' can this thing I'm holding possibly be? There's a road trip that needs to be considered, along with the count of how many rest stops I'm potentially going to have to inspect on that route now. Okay, there were about 5 on the way down, one at Interstate 70 -

I think I can pull this off, even in a worse case scenario. The worst case is that Jimmy Dean is going to try to kill me.

Okay, here we go. Only one minute? That doesn't seem like a lot of time for a yummy breakfas-
Done already! Peel off the package... Oh. My. Goo -

How come the cheese has smeared everywhere but on the sammich?

Well, it doesn't look like much, or like any food product that I've put in my mouth since caring about things like saturated fat and high fructose corn syrup... but, but, it's my old pal Jimmy Dean! There's bacon in there - somewhere. Right?

First bite. Shudder. Wha- what was that? That was a biscuit? There oughta be a law against calling that a biscuit. Okay I'm giving up on the counterfeit biscuit. There's still bacon to be had. I think.

Ugh. This is - why am I - oh, there's the bacon! And it's limp. But, uh - wow. I ate that. I can't believe I ate as much of that as I did... I really ought to throw the rest of that away - but I hate to waste it...

And it's over. Need to wash that down with hotel coffee. Oh, and orange juice! Maybe the vitamin C will counteract the terrible terrible price I've paid by eating this monstrosity described as comestible.

You know? I better have a second glass of that orange drink.

My co-worker lazily comes in. I see him eyeing the remaining Jimmy Dean thing in the cooler. I ought to wave him off. No point in us both fighting for the same defiled toilet seat while on the trip home.

"Oh yeah, I had one of those last time. Not pretty."

What?! I just ate one! What happened?!

"Oh, you'll see."

No, I don't want to see - should I seek medical attention now? Will I make it home, or am I a dead man walking?

*phew* that's just not sitting well.

You know, for all that fat and salt you'd think it would have been at least tasty. Jimmy Dean, you're dead to me. Now, excuse me while I find a men's room.

Nov 22, 2009

Sunday Comics

Thank you George Carlin, your insight was of huge importance for the human race, you will be greatly missed by many.

Sunday Comics

Sesame Street, 40 years later... an update
Eric Holder gets schooled in how the Judicial system works.
Mr. Obama went to Asia this week. Wins another prize.

American women figure out what rational government health care means... (hit, it's similar to jumbo shrimp)
And speaking of boobs...
Oh, and Sarah Palin put out a book - but I figure you've probably heard enough about that by now.

That was the week that was. Hope you had fun. See you next week!

Nov 21, 2009

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Bigfoot and the Muscle Machines!

It was GI Joe, but with Big Foot. The show featured animated versions of vehicles popular in real life competing under the United States Hot Rod Association banner, including Bob Chandler's Bigfoot monster truck, Allen Gaines' Orange Blossom Special two-wheel-drive pulling truck, Kenneth and Paula Geuin's Black Gold four-wheel-drive pulling truck, and Dan Patrick's War Lord pulling funny car.

The story is about five people who run a public monster truck show led by Yank Justice, driver of Bigfoot. The other members of the show include Red & Redder (twin sisters who drive Black Gold), Professor Dee (driver of the Orange Blossom Special), and Close McCall (driver of War Lord). A young woman named Jennifer McGraw steals an ancient map that leads to the Fountain of Youth in Florida by a group of terrorists led by an elderly billionaire named Adrian Ravenscroft (a.k.a. "Mr. Big"), and they are attempting to retrieve the map from her. Ravenscroft hires a couple of workers who helped him try to get the map back named Ernie Slye and Ravenscroft's limousine chauffeur. This band of criminals chases Yank Justice and his friends across the United States and try to kill them.

Nov 20, 2009

Quotes by Twain

The following are a few Samuel Langhorne Clemens quotes that I feel are appropriate for Blasphemes readers.
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

"You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the sky, people walking on water, and all sorts of magical, absurd and primitive stories, and you say that we are the ones that need help?"

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also."

"God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

"Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty."
— Mark Twain

States back to Territories?

Is California the next Michigan?
“I looked as hard as I could at how states could declare bankruptcy,” said Michael Genest, director of the California Department of Finance who is stepping down at the end of the year. “I literally looked at the federal constitution to see if there was a way for states to return to territory status.” said Michael Genest, director of the California Department of Finance.
Hey, Mike, why don't you just give the whole damn thing back to Mexico and save a couple steps?
"We're facing a cliff in 2011 when stimulus dollars run out," said Mitchell Bean, director of the Michigan House Fiscal Agency. "There is not an end in sight, even in recovery."
According to the Wall Street Journal, there were no bankruptcy options for the States, and the legislature chose to cut back sharply on education and health care to fill the gap. Mr. Genest already predicts the 2011 shortfall will outpace the projected $7 billion gap. It is a smaller deficit than this year's gap, but the choices will be more difficult because so many cuts have already been made.

Mr. Genest estimated that, eventually, 40% of the state's budget would go to the state Medicaid program, 40% to education, 10% to debt service and 6% to retiree medical services and pension—leaving little left for anything else, such as the state's corrections system. Read crime wave about to be unleashed.

Mr. Bean described a similarly depressing scenario for Michigan, which could end the recession with 25% fewer jobs than in June 2000 and a total of one million job losses. Michigan's unemployment rate in September was 15.3%.

So in other words, get ready for Bail-Out Two: State Side Hubbaloo.

Nov 19, 2009

Welcome to Chicago - the Next Detroit

First the Cubs fall apart in April. Then Jay Cutler and the Bears fail to show up to their expectations, then Chicago loses the Olympics, and now all of its trade shows.

As for the last on that list, it's too easy and lazy to accuse union price gouging at exhibit halls as the only reason... ah that's been goin' on for decades. However, those shows heading for the exits has become a stampede.

The International Plastics Showcase, which has been exhibiting in Chicago since the 1970s, and the Healthcare Information and Management Systems Society waved a giant single finger McCormick Place. And now the National Restaurant Show, a Chicago convention fixture for more than 50 years, is thinking about 86'ing the town as well.

When the food people come to town, they eat out - they spend a lot, and tip a lot. Bye bye.

From the Chicago Tribune:
Derrek Hull, a spokesman for the restaurant show, said, "I'm not aware of any discussion about moving the show as of right now."

"However, what I can tell you," said Hull, "is that we've been through this before ... and the association and all our exhibitors continue to be very vocal. They continue to be concerned about the costs of doing business in Chicago and at McCormick Place."

The association seriously contemplated a move in 2006, but chose to stay after the city wrested labor work-rule changes from unions that work at McCormick Place.
That was chump change. Meanwhile, a task force designed to turn things around for struggling Chicago's convention industry met today. The group is made of staff from several politicians, trade show leaders, hospitality executives, and unions. I love task forces and blue ribbon panels. They're the nice tablecloth that politicians drape over the broken, bloodstained wobbly tables.

Chicago is a loser. It's not just her sports - although Chicago sports are the gangrene of the a dying limb.

Chicago is expensive. Not having a show in Chicago might save you 20 million dollars... which is a number I heard floated around. 20 Million in savings by having a show in Orlando. And in Orlando, you can take the kids to DisneyWorld! But that's not all. How about the nickle-n-dimes that add up in every purchase? How about that damned 10.25% sales tax on all those nice folks coming to the windy city?

10.25% - still. And even after the Mighty Quinn changed the rules for the Cook County veto over the President "Toddler" Todd Stroger... they still can't roll it back, and that's less than 70 days before the Cook County Board Election - as if we won't notice.

Look, even if the Cook County rolled back the tax - it's too late. The damage is done and the collateral damage is everyone who depends on tourists coming into this stupid town to pay our bills, debts, truck scandals, lawsuits against the police, and overpriced parking meters.

Welcome to Chicago - the Next Detroit! Be sure to pull all the copper out of the walls before you leave.

UPDATE: And the toilet keeps flushing - Oprah might be leaving Chicago as well. I know for sure that she's ending her talk show.

The media mogul Oprah Winfrey will end her daytime talk show, "The Oprah Winfrey Show," in 2011 as she prepares to start a cable channel of her own. Read More on Oprah. Okay, I'm only guessing that she'll leave -- but I can't

99.999% Pure

Nov 18, 2009

The Scientology Genisis Event

Sci-Fi writer, Harlan Ellison, was there when Scientology was created. Listen to him tell the story.

"Of all the groups and/or individuals who might wish to do me bad cess, out of animus or insanity, I never have to worry about Scientologists. I haven't seen the thing you reference on YouTube, but Ron Hubbard and I were friends. No matter in what godhood he is held by those who may "follow his footsteps," Ron HIMSELF told them to leave me alone, that I was okay in his book. I may not have much use for Scientology, but I had--and still have--LOTS of camaraderie and admiration for the man." - Harlan Ellison

Nov 16, 2009

Om nom nom nom

Thought you'd like this. Saw it on a car the other day.

Was Jesus Gay?

In response to my question WWJD: Washington DC, someone sent me a letter.

It suggests, with Biblical evidence, that Jesus might have been gay. Whoa, what?!
There is nothing in the Bible that confirms Jesus’ sexual orientation one way or the other, and thus difficult to determine whether he took the straight-way, the gay-way, or the bi-way. But there are some randy little clues that maybe he did keep a policeman’s uniform in his wardrobe for Taco Tuesday at the Nazareth Tool Shed:

1. Jesus never spoke about homosexuality, despite the Old Testament and Saint Paul bookending his life with plenty of disdain for gay man love.

2. “There is nothing from without a man, that entering into him can defile him.” (Mark 7:14-16)

3. Mark writes about a naked man fleeing from Jesus’ side at the moment of his arrest: “A young man wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.” (Mark 14:51)

4. Having never make a position against homosexuality, Jesus sermon on the Mount includes the proclamation, : “The Kingdom of Heaven would be available to anyone that had been prosecuted.” What a devilishly delicious clue.

5. At Jesus’ crucifixtion stood Jesus’ mother and the disciple that he loved. While one may argue he loved all his disciples, John does go the lengths to individually identify THAT disciple he loved: “When Jesus saw his mother there, and THE disciple whom he loved.” (John 19:26)

We can only ask the question.


Author of ‘God Hates You. Hate Him Back’
What Would Jesus Do, indeed?

Doublethink? Doubleplus good!

Submitted by Lara.

If you can’t beat them, take their published works, remove what you disagree with, and then add a 50 page ad hominem attack. That’s what one fundamentalist group has done to Charles Darwin’s On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life. Although there were too many big words, so the Creationist version is handily identifiable by being titled “Origin of Species”.

Think I’m being biased? In their own words, straight from their site:

A recent study revealed that in the 50 top universities in the U.S. (in the fields of psychology and biology), an amazing 61 percent of respondents described themselves as atheists or agnostics. It’s no wonder atheism has doubled in the last 20 years among 19-25 year olds. An entire generation has been (and is being) brainwashed by atheistic evolution, and it’s radically changing the culture of our nation.

In an effort to combat this, we produced a special 280-page full color cover edition of Origin of Species, which contains a 50-page introduction. This introduction gives the history of evolution, a timeline of Darwin’s life, Hitler’s undeniable connections to the theory, Darwin’s racism, his disdain for women, and his thoughts on the existence of God. It lists the theory’s many hoaxes, exposes the unscientific belief that nothing created everything, points to the incredible structure of DNA, and the absence of any species-to-species transitional forms.

Their master plan? To flood college campuses nationwide on November 24th (the 150th Anniversary of the first publishing) with altered copies. Their goal, to give a 1000 copies away per school.

To quote submitter Lara “This is the size of the template at, in case someone wants to have some printed to put all over the f**ked-over Origin of the Species books showing up at schools.”

A fine idea indeed. For reference, the template she used was for 4.25 x 2.75, and again you should use the full size version linked here.

You can also read the original via Google Books.

Nov 13, 2009

Promises, promises...

"I will promise you this, that if we have not gotten our troops out by the time I am president, it is the first thing I will do. I will get our troops home. We will bring an end to this war. You can take that to the bank." - Obama Campaign Promise - October 27, 2007

Maybe that bank was taken over by the FDIC?

New Wardrobe

More here, thanks Gizmodo