Do You See What I See?

I see creeping vines. You? Well, some guy named Don Taylor sees something else across from a church that he thought was kinda' interesting.

Jesus Saves, at Wal Mart

Jesus saves, always.

From Anderson County in South Carolina claim they can see the face of Jesus on a Walmart receipt they found on the floor of their apartment.

Jacob Simmons and Gentry Lee Sutherland say they had just returned from church service when Simmons spotted the receipt, which he claims had changed since it was printed June 12th when the pair purchased pictures at a Walmart.

“I was leaving the kitchen and I just looked on the floor, and it was like it was looking at me,” Simmons told WYFF News 4. “Then the more you look at it, the more it looked like Jesus, and it was just shocking, breathtaking.”

The store told Simmons that applying heat to the receipt would cause discoloration, but the couple says they were not responsible for its alteration.

“We just feel like it’s a blessing that God showed it to us and opened our eyes,” Sutherland said. “And we just feel like we should share the blessing God gave to us to everybody else.”

They do say the lord works in mysterious ways — and it don’t get much more mysterious than appearing on a Walmart receipt. Well, that and why god looks like a cross-eyed bridge troll.

God's Power Over Time

I'm deeply offended by this graph. That x-axis isn't to scale at all.

Unusual Godless Pass

You don't usually see God blamed for losing a game...

Stevie Johnson blames God for his mistakes.

Stevie Johnson was reluctant to accept responsibility for the gaffe, posting on his Twitter account post-game that it was in fact God's fault.

"I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO...," Johnson tweeted.

Blasphemes: Now who can argue with that?

Has Jesus really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Look At Your God...

The Vatican Endorses Blues Brothers

When Jake and Elwood Blues, said they were on a mission from God, the Catholic Church apparently took them at their word.

On the 30th anniversary of the film's release, "L'Osservatore Romano," the Vatican's official newspaper, called the film a "Catholic classic" and said it should be recommended viewing for Catholics everywhere.

The film was based on a skit from "Saturday Night Live." In the story, Jake and Elwood -- played by John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd, respectively -- embark on the John Landis cocaine-fueled comedy where blowing up lots of stuff is hilarious, concerts, car chases, clashes with the police and neo-Nazi groups, and attempts at revenge from a spurned lover, all, ostensibly, to raise money for the church-run orphanage where they grew up.

But aside from a brief appearance from Kathleen Freeman as a wrist-slapping nun referred to as "The Penguin" and the brothers' periodic claim that they were on a mission from God, spirituality does not play a significant role in the film. Those crazy priests must really believe Jake's word.

In addition to Belushi and Aykroyd, the film featured an all-star cast including musicians James Brown, Cab Calloway, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, John Lee Hooker, and Chaka Khan, in addition to noted actors John Candy, Carrie Fisher, Charles Napier, and Henry Gibson, and cameo roles for Frank Oz, Steven Spielberg, Landis, Mr. T, and Paul Reubens.

With the recommendation, "The Blues Brothers" joins the list of dozens of films recommended by Catholic authorities that includes Cecil B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments," "Jesus of Nazareth" from Franco Zeffirelli," Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ," Victor Flemming's "Joan of Arc," and "It's a Wonderful Life" from Frank Capra.

I'm still holding out for them to endorse, "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie"

Critical Hits in the Bible

(via Sunday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

Well, Duh

Just a quick message for those of you outraged by the remarks of Pat Robertson where he said, and I quote, "Earthquake Caused By Haitian Slaves Making A Pact With The Devil To Overthrow The French 200 Years Ago"

Happy Endings

You bettcha'

Sunday Comics

Thank you George Carlin, your insight was of huge importance for the human race, you will be greatly missed by many.

What does god need with a jet?

Preacher says God wanted him to hijack Mexican jet

What does god need with a AeroMexico Jet?

What Would God Listen To?

Awesome. I was afraid that god only listened to Kenny G or the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

Islam has Funky Visions Too

Many Blasphemes readers will probably remember the when the image of the Virgin Mary was allegedly discovered in a grilled cheese sandwich. It was sold on eBay to an online casino for $28,000 in November 2004. Perhaps the time she showed up in Chicago, under an I90 overpass? How about the time Jesus showed up in a taco in Mexico City, last Tuesday? Ah, Christianity of the Americas.

But look, Christians aren’t the only folks to spot their religious images in the goings about of their everyday life. Islam has the same phenomenon, although as icons and images are blasphemous in Islam, all of the instances of such “images” are of Arabic words, not pictures. Here are three more famous instances that I've found.

An Oscar fish found in an aquarium in England supposedly bears the word ‘Mohammed’ on one side and ‘Allah’ on the other.

An eggplant which was cut in half to reveal the name ‘Allah’ inside.

An egg with a series of brown ridges that appeared to spell out ‘Allah’ in Arabic, photographed in Cape Town in 1998.

The egg looks like a screen cap of the new David Lynch classic film : Egg God Head

Hand of God

NASA has published a new high energy x-ray photo of dying stars that look identical to a hand reaching throughout space...

Which made me think of an earlier photo of the hand of God.

Eh, don't stand around like you've never seen the Hand of God before. Get back to work.