Happy St. Patrick's Day

Bucket of Blood

Blood taken from Pope John Paul II before he died is to go on display at his beatification on Sunday.

One of four small vials of blood removed from John Paul during his final days will be used, the Vatican said in a statement…

More than 50 heads of state and several hundred thousand pilgrims are expected to travel to Rome for the beatification, a step before full sainthood…

The vial will be placed in a “precious reliquary” prepared specially for the occasion by the Office of Papal Liturgical Celebrations.

After being extracted, the blood was mixed with an anti-coagulant in the container to ensure it remained liquid.

Catholics are kind of scary.

You know what's even more creepy? They're going to make the man who presided over the largest secret pedophilia ring into a Saint.

Dante's Search Engine

Organizers of a conference in Rome say the rise of Satanism has been dangerously underestimated in recent years

The web has made it easier than ever before to access information on Devil-worshiping and the occult, experts said.

Exorcism is the subject of a six-day conference being held this week at the Regina Apostolorum Pontifical University in Rome, which is under the Vatican's authority.

"The internet makes it much easier than in the past to find information about Satanism," said Carlo Climati, a member of the university who specializes in the dangers posed to young people by Satanism.

"In just a few minutes you can contact Satanist groups and research occultism. The conference is not about how to become an exorcist. It's to share information about exorcism, Satanism and sects. It's to give help to families and priests. There is a particular risk for young people who are in difficulties or who are emotionally fragile," said Mr Climati.

[Read More]

Yeah, it's Satan that's the biggest threat to the church and the dangers posed to young people. No, wait, I isn't it pedophile priests who were abusing their power?

Ash Wednesday

It's Ash Wednesday everyone! Where we celebrate all things Ash.

Just look at all those asholes.

I told you kids...

GET BACK ON MY LAWN!

Black Letter

An official letter written in 1997 by the Vatican and issued to the bishops of Ireland, who at the time had proposed a new policy of reporting abusive priests to law enforcement, has surfaced. The basic translation: the Vatican is insisting that the current policy stay in place -- that the bishops keep cases of sexual abuses to themselves and within the church.

Now, the church is saying that the letter is not being interpreted correctly, and is out of context.

Hmmm. I wonder if the victims see it the same way?

Pope to the Stars

Well, maybe we should have the Catholics and Muslims start the next 'Space Race' to see who can convert the most aliens?

On the plus side, humanity would finally be getting off this rock.

The down side is accidentally sparking off intergalactic war after baptizing an alien that dissolves in water...

Asked if the Pope's astronomer would baptise an alien, he replied “Only if they asked.' Oh, we're learning? Maybe if we hadn't forced all those folks already living in the two American continents, there'd still be a couple of them?

Sigh. And why does the Pope need an Astronomer?

More, and bigger

Your Fresh Baby, Sir

Ah, the warmth of this sweet baby's soul shall sustain my life force for another hour... good... goooood!

Atheist Extremists, Nazis, and the Pope

Pope arrives in Britain warning of 'atheist extremism'.

The Pope equates atheists and Nazis.

"Even in our own lifetime, we can recall how Britain and her leaders stood against a Nazi tyranny that wished to eradicate God from society and denied our common humanity to many, especially the Jews, who were thought unfit to live. I also recall the regime’s attitude to Christian pastors and religious who spoke the truth in love, opposed the Nazis and paid for that opposition with their lives. As we reflect on the sobering lessons of the atheist extremism of the twentieth century, let us never forget how the exclusion of God, religion and virtue from public life leads ultimately to a truncated vision of man and of society and thus to a 'reductive vision of the person and his destiny.'"~Pope

Wow, an ex-Nazi who runs the world largest pedophile ring, promotes the spread of AIDS and an unsustainable population explosion by refusing to allow his followers to wear a rubber has the audacity to call people who don't believe in his invisible sky god, and make prayers to the secondary characters they call Saints "extremists".

What an asshole!

I'm afraid, there's a tad bit of dis-information, or fuzzy memory there, oh, infallible one? Nazis weren't extreme atheists. In fact, a large number of them were Christian. Ratzinger was certainly around to know that. And as for eradicating God from society? The opposite, actually.

"We were convinced that the people need and require this faith. We have therefore undertaken the fight against the atheistic movement, and that not merely with a few theoretical declarations: we have stamped it out."~ Adolf Hitler, Speech in Berlin, October 24, 1933

Ooops. Look, say what you will about the Nazis - but they weren't Atheists. Come on, Pope? Don't you remember? I mean, you were one of them!

The Vatican Endorses Blues Brothers

When Jake and Elwood Blues, said they were on a mission from God, the Catholic Church apparently took them at their word.

On the 30th anniversary of the film's release, "L'Osservatore Romano," the Vatican's official newspaper, called the film a "Catholic classic" and said it should be recommended viewing for Catholics everywhere.

The film was based on a skit from "Saturday Night Live." In the story, Jake and Elwood -- played by John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd, respectively -- embark on the John Landis cocaine-fueled comedy where blowing up lots of stuff is hilarious, concerts, car chases, clashes with the police and neo-Nazi groups, and attempts at revenge from a spurned lover, all, ostensibly, to raise money for the church-run orphanage where they grew up.

But aside from a brief appearance from Kathleen Freeman as a wrist-slapping nun referred to as "The Penguin" and the brothers' periodic claim that they were on a mission from God, spirituality does not play a significant role in the film. Those crazy priests must really believe Jake's word.

In addition to Belushi and Aykroyd, the film featured an all-star cast including musicians James Brown, Cab Calloway, Ray Charles, Aretha Franklin, John Lee Hooker, and Chaka Khan, in addition to noted actors John Candy, Carrie Fisher, Charles Napier, and Henry Gibson, and cameo roles for Frank Oz, Steven Spielberg, Landis, Mr. T, and Paul Reubens.

With the recommendation, "The Blues Brothers" joins the list of dozens of films recommended by Catholic authorities that includes Cecil B. DeMille's "The Ten Commandments," "Jesus of Nazareth" from Franco Zeffirelli," Mel Gibson's "The Passion of The Christ," Victor Flemming's "Joan of Arc," and "It's a Wonderful Life" from Frank Capra.

I'm still holding out for them to endorse, "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie"

Samaritan

Been saving this one for a while. Not nearly as topical... but still relevant. Unfortunately.

Are You Kidding Me?

This is the actual cover of the current issue of Vermont Catholic magazine, the monthly publication put out by the Diocese of Burlington. No, really.

Less than a week after an almost-$18 million settlement with the remaining 26 plaintiffs (you know, all those children who were diddled by priests for decades while the Church pretended it didn't know what was going on?), they still put a photo of a young man kneeling in front of the Bishop on the cover of their magazine.

Two pages into the magazine there is a letter from Bishop Salvatore Matano discussing the recent settlement, and apologizing for the whole ugly mess that, to be fair, started long before he even took the position as bishop in Vermont. Toward the end, he asks God for forgiveness for any insensitivity which he may have shown during this process. Hey Sal, keep trying.

Sure we know that this photo is depicting the rite of ordination but does the editor of the Vermont Catholic understand irony?

Still, while it might come across as insensitive, it clearly wasn't intended to be... probably? Well, the Catholic Church has always been culturally and socially tone deaf. Why change that now? When you think about the things that have driven people away from the Church historically, it has been largely due to the institution's unwillingness to look outside itself. Birth control, same sex marriage, abortion, homosexuality, females in the clergy, celibate priests: in each case, the Church eschews change and progress, and instead turns inward losing more and more members along the way.

The image on this magazine cover is further demonstration this disconnect. Why, in the midst of a sex scandal, would you put a photo on the cover that evokes the very act for which the scandal is known? Certainly, someone had to make note of this...

Thanks Plaid Crew for the story!~

A Priest vs Jehovah's Witness - Who ya got?

The Jehovah's Witness has accused Father John Parnell, a priest at the St. Augustine Mexican Catholic Church in Fort Worth, of assaulting him after he knocked on Parnell's door. However, Parnell said it was he who was attacked. These "Men of Peace."

"So, the man comes in and tells my daughter right off, he says, 'You are going to be burned into the eternal fires of Gehenna if you don't listen to what I say,'" Parnell said. Hey, Father? How come you have a daughter?

The priest said that was the match that lit the fuse. He said he is tired of Jehovah's Witnesses coming into the St. Augustine church, which is not affiliated with the Fort Worth Diocese.

He said Jehovah's Witnesses came into the church on Easter Sunday during Mass.

"They walked right in and started handing out literature while people are sitting on the pews," Parnell said.

When Jehovah's Witnesses recently came to his door, Parnell said he attempted to escort them out after one of the men allegedly knocked his Bible to the floor.

"He said, 'This place is teaching lies and I am here to bring you the truth,'" he said.

Parnell said the men then dragged him down the street and beat him.

However, according to a police report, Parnell is the suspect in the altercation.

"The next thing you know, there was a haymaker that came out of left field there and went down the side of his face," said Harry Dwinell, a witness, of allegedly seeing the priest hit the Jehovah's Witness.

Dwinell, who called police, said he saw the whole incident from the first punch.

Parnell was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and gave an officer his side of the story. He claims to have witnesses of his own.

Seeing as how Jehovah's Witnesses don't believe in Hellfire, this story sounds like a prank -- and that's probably why the priest is being charged.

Pope Panda

Two billboards in Marsa advertising the Pope's visit to Malta got the unlikely addition of two stencilled images of what looks like a panda. It is not clear why the "artist" in question juxtaposed the bears with the Pope. The organizing committee was alerted yesterday morning and it plans to erase the images.

Guess what, that's no panda!

The cartoon character "Pedobear" is a renamed version of the 2chan ASCII art character "kuma". In his American incarnation, he is an anthropomorphic bear child predator that is often used within the community to mock contributors showing a sexual interest in under-age girls. Pedobear is one of the most popular memes on non-English imageboards, and is gaining recognition across Europe. Although the meme is apparently unknown in Poland, it has been used as a symbol of pedophilia by Maltese graffiti vandals.

Pope's Commandments

Quote of the Week

"If you have a few hundred followers, and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope." – Bill Maher

Rock On

WWJD in Washington DC?

The Book of Matthew states:

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in,
I needed clothes and you clothed me,
I was sick and you looked after me,
I was in prison and you came to visit me...."

That is, unless you live in Washington D.C. because the Catholic Archdiocese there said that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn't change a proposed same-sex marriage law. A threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

Before you think that the Catholics are concerned that they would be forced to perform same-sex weddings, hold on. Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians. God forbid!

Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.

"If the city requires this, we can't do it," Susan Gibbs, spokeswoman for the archdiocese, said Wednesday. "The city is saying in order to provide social services, you need to be secular. For us, that's really a problem."

Yeah, that's Christ's love for you right there. Good work, D.C. Catholics, you're...

BLASPHEMES HYPOCRITES OF THE WEEK

Dirty Delay Tactics

Bankruptcy move delays abuse case

A Catholic diocese based in the state of Delaware has filed for US bankruptcy protection on the eve of a civil trial involving high-profile sex abuse. (more)

The move automatically delays the case, the seventh of its kind in the US since a scandal in Boston seven years ago.

The bishop of the diocese said the move offered the best chance for victims of sexual abuse to be treated fairly.

But an attorney for the victims said the action was a desperate attempt to hide the truth from the public.

The case, due to be heard on Monday, would have been the first to go to trial under a state law creating a two-year window allowing claims to be brought even if the statute of limitations had expired.

Yes, bankrupt. Morally, that is.

Church and State Abuse

The Roman Catholic diocese of Bridgeport, Connecticut argues that it cannot be sued for assigning priests with a history of sexual abuse because such placements are ecclesiastical decisions, and that documents dealing with the assignments are protected by religious privileges in the First Amendment (“Diocese appears to break pledge,’’ Aug. 29). The provisions within our Constitution that separate church and state do not and were never meant to allow a church organization to shield itself from our courts after committing felonious assaults against the civil rights of American citizens.

These acts were in arrogant and flagrant disregard for the rule of law. Eh, rule of law is so overrated now-a-days. Even thought the Bishops and their minions knew full well the transgressions of their priests, and yet chose to send them to another place where they would continue their transgressions on fresh new children. Those higher ups must have known that those new children would have been unsafe, and everyone involved was complicit in future rapes against the unsuspecting parishes.

Which means, in a judicial sense, the Bishops and their underlings would be accessory to the crimes themselves. The courts must have full access to any and all documents that may hold incriminating information.