May 29, 2007

Cindy Sheehan throws in the white towel

The capitulation to the Bush administration continued today, as media darling and Democrat pawn Cindy Sheehan announced, "I've been wondering why I'm killing myself and wondering why the Democrats caved in," to The Associated Press.

She has left her 5 acre property in Crawford, Texas, and plans to return to her native California. It's now for sale, if you're interested.

I suppose this story works as the follow up to the Nancy Pelosi 'strategy' to end the war? Seems to me, and please correct me if I'm reading this incorrectly, this strategy has only ended the Anti-War movement?

May 23, 2007

Nancy Surrenders

Without getting any concessions from Bush on the Iraq funding bill, it appears that the opposition has folded and completely given up.

Pelosi, Hoyer, Obey, Emanuel- all caved to the statue of Bush. I have a feeling the discussion after the meeting went something like this, "Oh well, time to go on break for Memorial Day! Hey that's okay, Iraq will just end when Bush is out of office. But we'll LOOK strong by kind of pretending to stand up to him for a few minutes. Okay, you're right, a couple seconds."

And the part that no one seems to have figured out - This war isn't going to end when Bush leaves office. (Shock!) What's this you say? Hey, check the banner.

Believe it or not, the D or the R's are not going to end the war.
If you think they are - you. are. wrong.

The big question I wonder - was this an engineered failure, or are these people really that stupid?

They keep thinking that Bush is a dunce.

I think of this battle much like that of Luke Skywalker just before he left to 'talk' to the Emperor. "Do not underestimate the power of the Emperor." were Yoda's final words.
Did Luke listen? Hell no - and what happened? Electric hell fire flew out of the Emperor's hands, and that pretty much almost killed him.

Now, granted, Yoda didn't exactly tell him, "Hey, this wrinkled up prune is a Dark Lord of the Sith and threw the friggin' Senate at me once." Luckily for Luke, all of his Daddy issues were resolved at the right moment. But that's not my point. The point is that the Democrats continue to underestimate Bush on every opportunity that is handed to them.

They just keep failing.

These are our leaders? These people expect to win by a landslide next election? They had better start showing more brains than, "well, we're for whatever Bush is against." That hasn't worked in 2 presidential elections.

It should be mentioned, that the Dems won the last Congressional election. Or, the other side of that black/white coin is that the Repubs lost because of two words: Mukaka and Abramoff. And even with that, it was a close horse race. Then there's our Vice President who almost was kicked out without so much a kiss goodbye in the Senate.

Bottom line. Stand up. Be leaders. Or shut your mouth and don't be surprised when you are replaced by even more incompetent people from the oposing party in 'o8.

May 22, 2007

Picture Pages Time!

Picture Pages™ time kids! Find all the things in this man's office that kills polar bears and raises CO2 which makes planet Earth sad! For extra credit, count all the trees that have died to make all those pretty pieces of paper!
And for double extra credit, use this week's vocabulary word -hypocrite- in a sentence. Preferably in front of your teacher or a high ranking authority figure!

May 16, 2007

Hayseed Dixie vs. Celine Dion

Not to influence you but this Celine Dion cover could be the most disturbing video I have ever seen. From the yelling of "Girfriend!" throughout the song to the dry humping the air like a horny dog smelling a stinky sock. And the guy in front who is real into it . . . who is that guy? Does he really like this or is he trying to get laid? If the latter, by whom? What girl is turned on by a guy who loves Celine Dion and can really rock out to her?

If you are going to cover AC/DC learn from bluegrass legends Hayseed Dixie. This is how one covers some 80's metal.

May 15, 2007

Jerry Falwell, Rest in Hell

Jerry Falwell is one of the most evil, hate-filled, and offensive human beings ever to walk on God's green earth. Today he is dead.


Jerry Falwell had been in the religion business for 51 years. He has taken hundreds of millions of dollars over the course of that time. Mainly by lies, deceits, and blackmail. In his career he has attained three faux doctorates, bankrupted the PTL, created a propagandist piece on an United States president, sued Penthouse, and Hustler for defamation, slandered blacks, jews, gays, and Tinky Winky from the Teletubbies.

Here are some highlights of his career.
  • In the 1980's he was a fierce supporter of apartheid. He asked Americans to purchase Krugerrands, the South African currency to help support Botha, elected president by the White South African minority.
  • Calls Desmond Tutu a "phony." Probably because Tutu knew of love and compassion. To quote Mr. Tutu, "Jesus did not say, 'If I be lifted up I will draw some'." See, he is a phony. Jesus only loved the white man.
  • Falwell claims that the Anti-Christ "must be, of necessity, a Jewish male." Probably Ben Stiller.
  • "AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals." And the unborn children of drug addicts.
  • "God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew." f he did he might avoid this whole Anti-Christ thing.
  • In his video "The Clinton Chronicles," he claims that Bill Clinton is a drug addict who arranged for the murders of his political foes. At first denying that he had anything to do with the video it is later discovered that Falwell funded the project. He also made the reporter sit behind a screen claiming that he was afraid for his life. This was Jerry adding "drama."
  • "Reverend Sun Myung Moon is like the plague: he exploits boys and girls, and he should be exported." Few years later Falwell's university accepts $3.5 million from Sun Myung Moon.
  • And the greatest Falwellism of all time! Tinky Winky is gay!!!
Send Nixon my regards, Jerry.

Update: Got emailed this quote which explains the dead AIDS babies. - "AIDS is not just God's punishment for homosexuals; it is God's punishment for the society that tolerates homosexuals."

Update II: My best piece? 3 emails and it has been up for 20 minutes. Whoa! For the record, it is not wrong to criticize the dead moments after they die. Some day all of our times of mocking will come. Best while we are dead. This guy touches on some of this and has a good history of Falwell.

May 4, 2007

Worlb Class

There are reasons that some of us live in major metropolitan areas. Among them, the access to many luxuries that would be sub-par in other parts of this great country of ours. As we here in Chicago are all too painfully aware the baseball is not an above-par luxury here in this city. But tattoos are.

Filed today in the St. Louis Circuit Court is a suit that alleges negligence and carelessness. It seems that a particularly happy Cardinals fan went out the day after the Cardinals won the World Series to celebrate by getting a tattoo across his back. This way everyone at the kiddie pool would be able to surmise that he was a tried and true Cardinal fan. Not a "buy the Pujol's jersey" kind of fan either. A DIE HARD FAN.

Unfortunately for our hero he had the tattoo scrawled on his back in St. Louis where the educational system is less than stellar. After a while on the bench with the tattoo artist masterfully inscribing the phrase that pays across the poor victims back. The phrase?

"St. Louis Cardinals, Worlb Series Champions 2000"

The Yankees apparently have fans all over the Midwest.

May 3, 2007


Barry Bonds hit his 743*rd home run Wednesday night, moving within 12 of Hank Aaron's career record.