RIP INGVAR KAMPRAD

Ingvar Kamprad was a Swedish business magnate. He was the founder of IKEA, a multinational retail company specializing in furniture in flat boxes.

Happy New Year Roll Out....

Granted, Black Death is the high bar we're looking at - so I'm not going to promise 1353 levels of greatness.... but I'll be there's going to be some big surprises!

Original Cartoon

At the Apple Store

Come on now, people. He died of cancer - he didn't cure it! Yes, he brought computers into people's homes and made them look very pretty and usable. He's also the co-creator of Atari Breakout... but come on now!

The other fun thing I like pointing out is that the same people whom have been bitching and moaning about the top 1% all day spent their entire evening crying about one that died. Hypocrite of the Week - top contender.

The Last Doughboy

Frank Buckles, the last of the World War I Doughboys, passed away yesterday of natural causes in his Gap View Farm home near Charles Town, West Virginia. He was 110.

From CNN: [cnn.]

Buckles, who served as a U.S. Army ambulance driver in Europe during what became known as the “Great War,” rose to the rank of corporal before the war ended. He came to prominence in recent years, in part because of the work of [spokesman David] DeJonge, a Michigan portrait photographer who had undertaken a project to document the last surviving veterans of that war.

RIP Frank.

Death Wears Bunny Slippers

Good post from the blog In From the Cold about Air Force missile launch crews, their habits, attire and much more. An excerpt:

"But before a missileer can unleash Armageddon, he/she must be properly attired: In a favorite missileer uniform patch, the Grim Reaper sits at an ICBM console, dressed in bunny slippers. In the real world, death wears a campus T-shirt, JCrew bottoms and the ubiquitous Snuggie. The silly blanket-robe hybrid is suited to the missile force, keeping an officer toasty while allowing him to interact with the weapons console unobstructed.

Missileers learn that on alert, comfort is as important as humor. One enterprising fellow liked to string a hammock between the two command chairs and stretch out for his long shifts at the console. Videogame systems are forbidden, a rule that was mocked until it got out that wireless Nintendo Wii controllers could cause the system to detect a false electromagnetic pulse attack and shut down.

I used to imagine that I’d have some sort of stiff-upper-lip moment should I receive “the order,” where I’d shed the Snuggie and slippers, zip up my flight suit, and make imperial references about “going out proper.”"

How's this for an awesome crew patch:

Death Penalty

If i ever need to defend my stance for the death penalty, I shall direct you to the story that ended yesterday.

[Read More]... if you dare.

Star Gazer Fades Out

`Star Gazer' host Jack Horkheimer has died

Jack Horkheimer, longtime host of public television’s Star Gazer and executive director of the Miami Space Transit Planetarium, passed away today of a respiratory ailment at age 72.

From the Miami Museum of Science’s announcement:

Jack was executive director of [the] Planetarium for over 35 years and was an internationally recognized pioneer in popularizing naked-eye astronomy. He was also a recognized media celebrity, often being the foremost commentator on all astronomy related happenings nationwide.

Elvis is Dead

On the anniversary of Elvis's death day, here's a little Spinal Tap harmonizing at Graceland. Enjoy!

Bill Cosby's Nine Lives

Bill Cosby is alive! Proving that social networking is full of it Cosby just put the nix on his own death rumor via tweet. But, FYI, he does have an app for sale!

The Twittersphere is buzzing once again with speculation that Bill Cosby is dead. Tweets and emails began to fly Monday afternoon with questions and reports that the 73-year-old comedian had died.

So far, the rumors seem to be just that, as there has been no official report that the beloved Jell-O, Coke, New Coke, Corporate Spokesman Leonard Park 6 Star, is in fact dead.

Cosby seems to be a favorite among those who start celebrity death rumors on the Web–the same rumor circulated back in March.

As of Friday, Cosby was alive and well, tweeting a telephone joke to his followers. He spent the weekend filming at Temple University in Philadelphia.

Stay tuned and keep checking back. He's bound to die one of these days...

Oh, and in case anyone gave a shiznit about people... Up to two-and-a-half million people have been affected by devastating floods in north-west Pakistan, the International Red Cross has said.

The Week In Review - Sunday Comics

See you next week folks

She Knocks Reid In Her Obituary

Charlotte McCourt passed away this week at the age of 84 after a long illness. But it is not too late for Charlotte to ttell everyone exactly how she feels.

An excerpt from her obituary, placed in the Las Vegas Review Journal Tuesday, reads:

“We believe that Mom would say she was mortified to have taken a large role in the election of Harry Reid to U.S. Congress. Let the record show Charlotte was displeased with his work. Please, in lieu of flowers, vote for another more worthy candidate.”

As John Smith of the Review Journal points out, this kind of thing makes an impact, not because McCourt "was a political player or business powerbroker, but precisely because she was neither of those things. She was a homemaker, proud mother and grand mother and wife of 67 years to Patrick McCourt."

I thought using the death of a loved one for political grandstanding was considered bad form? Well, not anymore. Looks like the obituary section of the paper (what's a paper) is the new political battleground. And note, if you better write your own obit before your kids do - because if you were a terrible parent, they'll tell the world you worked on the Nixon campaign, or Carter, depending which one ruins your reputation more. If I hated my parents, I'd say they worked on the Nixon and Carter campaigns. If I really wanted to punish them, I'd say they were LaRouche supporters.

RIP Harvey Pekar

RIP of the Day: Legendary comic book writer Harvey Pekar passed away today of as-yet unknown causes. He was 70 years old.

[plaindealer.]

The Voice of Yankee Stadium

Bob Sheppard, Legendary Yankees Ballpark Announcer, Dies at 99

Bob Sheppard, whose elegant intonation as the public-address announcer at Yankee Stadium for more than half a century personified the image of Yankee grandeur, died Sunday at his home in Baldwin, N.Y, according to The Associated Press. He was 99.

From the last days of DiMaggio through the primes of Mantle, Berra, Jackson and Jeter, Sheppard's precise, resonant, even Olympian elocution -- he was sometimes called the Voice of
God -- greeted Yankee fans with the words "Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Yankee Stadium."

In an era of blaring stadium music, of public-address announcers styling themselves as entertainers and cheerleaders, Sheppard, a man with a passion for poetry and Shakespeare, shunned hyperbole.

New Billboard

Hot on the heels of their McDonald’s “re-branding campaign,” the Billboard Liberation Front announces a “partnership” with Philip Morris aimed at stressing the importance of choice.

The Billboard Liberation Front (BLF) is honored to announce a new marketing partnership with Philip Morris (PM) that finally brings together the rugged sense of American independence with your most important choice as a consumer: your death. The message of “My Life. My Death. My Choice.” informs and empowers the consumer to choose, as their god given right, how they want to die. Philip Morris brings this message to the consumer to remind them that some rights are inalienable in life as they are in death.

The new an improved billboard can be seen towering over Howard at Van Ness in San Francisco.

[laughingsquid.]

30 Years of Sausage, 50 Years of Ham

Jimmy Dean, the musician and founder of the sausage company that bears his name, has died at age 81.

He lived in Varina, in eastern Henrico County. He is survived by his wife, Donna Meade Dean.

His 1961 hit "Big Bad John", was No. 1 on Billboards pop charts and won him a Grammy. Dean was a regular headliner in Las Vegas and Reno in the 1960s.

Dean was named to the Country Music Hall of Fame in February 2010. He was inducted into the Virginia Country Music Hall of Fame in 1997, the Texas Country Music Hall of Fame in 2005 and, most importantly, the Meat Industry Hall of Fame last year.

RIP, Gary

Happy Easter

Happy Easter, everyone. He has raisin.

I'm in my Easter costume, preparing the family traditional hossenfeffer Easter meal.

Easter's been canceled. Mmmmm hossenfeffer and scrambled eggs!

Good thing they wrote FAIL two times and pointed an arrow. How would have I understood the offensive funny parts otherwise?

It's a Wonderful World

The Markness help Louis Armstrong perform “What a Wonderful World” the way it was always meant to be performed: Death Metal-style.

Joey Ramone's version stuck to the original chords though. I kind of wonder why The Markness didn't?

Mortality