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Maddon Men

Former Tampa Bay Rays Manager Joe Maddon will likely become the new manager of the Cubs, according to reports from CBSSports.com. 

The Cubs and Maddon are on the verge of making a deal that would pay him at least $5 million a year, according to CBS.

Other outlets have confirmed the story, although the Cubs say the report is inaccurate, and MLB sources will not confirm it until after Wednesday night's Game 7 of the World Series so as not to overshadow it.

Cubs Offer Bleacher Bums Cheap Buds

I really can't imagine this is going to end well.

From cubs.com:

During all Tuesday home games, starting May 10 vs. the St. Louis Cardinals, fans 21 years of age and older can purchase Bud Light or Budweiser products at specific concession stands in the Bud Light Bleachers for $3.

Hey, Rickets! Maybe it's the TEAM that's keeping the fans away?

This keeps up, you might have to, you know, field some winners?

Wrigley Bomber

A 22-year-old Chicago man was charged by federal prosecutors with plotting to detonate a bomb near Wrigley Field, home to the Chicago Cubs Major League Baseball team.

Sami Samir Hassoun, who is identified in a statement by the Federal Bureau of Investigation as a Lebanese-born Chicago resident, was arrested yesterday by members of the local Joint Terrorism Task Force.

Hassoun is charged with attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and with trying to destroy real property using an explosive, according to court papers. He is due to make his initial court appearance before U.S. Magistrate Judge Susan Cox in Chicago today, according to Randall Samborn, a spokesman for Chicago U.S. Attorney Patrick J. Fitzgerald.

Hassoun early yesterday [Sunday?] morning planted an inert device given to him by an FBI informant, which he was told was a bomb, in a trashcan south of Wrigley Field, according to the government. Prosecutors alleged that he intended to injure people frequenting neighborhood bars and clubs, according to a complaint filed at the federal courthouse.

Wait, wasn't Dave Mathews playing Wrigley?

And isn't the FBI giving him a bomb to play with some kind of baiting?

Upon hearing the story, Hassoun wanted changes in City Hall. Hmmm... that's not how that works, Sir.

Cubs Create Peanut, Win, Free Zone

One little girl with a peanut allergy creates a special area for herself. It's not like someone was smoking...

Frankly, I'm surprised that the Cubs didn't just fold completely and ban the substance - it's a legume - not a nut, from the Friendly Confines?

It only takes one letter? Shouldn't this be in the form of a petition? With lots and LOTS of signatures? A community of allergic little girls who come out of their bubbles to go to the ball game? Or how about ONE game for allergic kids?

So pretty soon we'll have to sing, "Buy me some hot dogs and cracker-jack," because no one will know what the hell a peanut is. And doesn't Cracker-Jack have peanuts in it too? But when's the last time you saw Cracker Jack being sold at Wrigley. At least a couple years. Maybe it should be, "buy me an 8 dollar Bud Lite and Italian-Ice?" So much for peanuts.

Good science knows, they've already created a Lou Piniella free zone... and they've been fairly successful at creating a win free zone too.

Father Sues Son over Cubs Tickets

Father sues son over stealing his Cubs season tickets. You'd think he'd thank him instead?

Father Gerald Adelman wants $128,000 — plus damages — from his son for stealing four season tickets from 2007 through this year.

Dad says in a lawsuit that the tickets, and money he alleges his son pocketed while working for Adelman's insurance firm, should be worth much, much more — $2.5 million in damages.

Adelman acquired the four tickets from the son of a longtime client in 1993. For years Adelman's son, Stuart, handled the purchase of the tickets, getting money from his father to pay for them and then handing the tickets over to his father, according to the suit.

Gerald Adelman gave the tickets to friends or family, according to the suit.

After Stuart Adelman left the firm, Gerald Adelman and Associates, in 2007, he refused to hand over the Cubs tickets, even when his father had paid for them, the suit states.

The lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Cook County Circuit Court, also accuses the son of pocketing $163,000 in insurance commissions after the elder Adelman suffered severe injuries in 2001 and was away from work. -- now that seems to be a bit more substantial? Maybe this should be what the story- dude, Cubs tickets? 2.5 mil? We *are* talking about the Chicago Cubs, remember?

The suit also asks the court to formalize the ticket purchase agreement.

In the end, a judge may have to decide the value of the tickets.

If it were up to me? Half face value.

June 26, 1876

June 26, 1876 The Battle of the Little Bighorn —also known as Custer's Last Stand and, in the parlance of the Native Americans involved, the Battle of Greasy Grass Creek—was an armed engagement between a Lakota–Northern Cheyenne combined force and the 7th Cavalry Regiment of the United States Army. It occurred on June 25 and June 26, 1876, near the Little Bighorn River in the eastern Montana Territory, near what is now Crow Agency, Montana.

Anyone know what the score of the Cubs playing the Red Sox that very day?

Lee Elia Tirade

27 Years Ago: Lee Elia threw the Best Sports Tirade Ever

(Extreme language warning! NSFW)

This famous tirade by Chicago Cubs manager Lee Elia occurred following a 4-3 loss to the Los Angeles Dodgers in 1983, 27 years ago today.

It was recorded by reporter Les Grobstein.
They started 5-91, and won their last 66 games, so they really did hit that groove like he said.

Please let the door...

...smack you into the gravel pit on your way out.
The Cubs have finally found a taker for Milton Bradley in the Seattle Mariners.
In return, the Cubs will get pitcher Carlos Silva; sanity.

Milton Bradley - You Are The Weakest Link, Goodbye

The headline was the first thing I thought of.

All I'm going to say about Milton Bradley and his games are that Jim Hendry should lose his job over this too.

I said this a month ago, and the day they signed him.

Still doesn't change the fact that the Cubs still suck. It doesn't matter if Bradley's gone, fired, they eat his contract, the whole chain is just about useless.

Playin' Games with Milton Bradley

Milton Bradley Accuses the Bleacher Bums of Booing His Skin Color, Not (Apparently) His 30 Million Dollar Salary For Piss Poor Performance

Dr. MLKing Jr. had a dream that one day we'll all live in a nation where we'll not be judged by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character.

Well the content of Milton Bradley's character is puke.
He's a puke, his attitude is full all-out prima dona, he's terrible and he's over paid.

I never thought that the Cubs should have picked him up - and certianly not at that price tag. He's always injured, he's bleacher poison, and he's also got a tounge that flaps way too often.

And Jim Hendrey should be cut. Period.

Beer Tosser

21-year-old charged in beer-tossing incident at Wrigley Field! OMG, NO!

A Bartlett (read Suburban) dude who was in the bleachers was charged with tossing beer at outfielder from Wrigley bleachers.

Says, "Sorry I dropped my beer."

Well, you should be.

Johnny Macchione, 21, was cited for battery and illegal conduct within a sports facility late Thursday. The college student's face had been splashed across the Internet and television, especially in Chicago, after the team announced it had ejected the wrong man in the incident and was looking for the real culprit.

Meanwhile, Second man dies in double shooting on South Side, the police told residents of the North Side to look out for a mugger, and His Highness Pharaoh Daley II told residents to turn in all their guns. Wait, turn in your guns, but don't be a victim to the mugger? Eh, just another day in Windy Daleyland!

Cubs Go Bankrupt?

The Chicago Cubs may consider a bankruptcy filing as part of closing the sale of the team, according to sources close to the major league ball club.

The National League ballclub would be the first team in nearly four decades to do so. The move, first reported by Bloomberg News, comes as Cubs parent Tribune Co. works to sell the team.

The prepackaged bankruptcy under discussions by Cubs officials would be designed to clear the team of liabilities and make its sale easier, sources close to the team said. Any prepackaged filing by the Cubs could allow the team to re-emerge from bankruptcy in a very short time from weeks to a day or so, these sources said.

Wow - I knew that a few MLB teams might be doing this due to the poor economy and falling ad revenue -- but I didn't think it'd be the Cubbies. Well, maybe they can void the Soriano and Bradley contracts?

Cubs Questions

Why is it that Milton Bradley playing 120+ games in Right field is assumed and not questioned?

Only the most blindly optimistic Cubs fans with no concept of reality would expect that. Of course, I would guess about a third to half of the bleachers won't even know they have a new right fielder and will wonder what happened to that Japanese guy. Who am I kidding. What happened to that Sosa cat?

I know it's nearly impossible to guess how long Bradley will last out there. I have to think the Cubs will give him some days off when they play on old turf, but when he gets hurt, the key is whether it's for 3 weeks or 3 months, and there's just no way to know. If he can play 80 games or more AND be ready in late September and October, the Cubs will probably be happy. His production in those 80, 90 games will probably be better than what the Phils get out of Raul Ibanez even if he plays 162.

And another thing, don't tell me that Rich Harden is the key to the Cubs making the playoffs. Yes, he's a great pitcher. When he shows up. There's Harden plus relying on Dempster actually being as good as he was last year is an awful combination. Remember that Dempster from the previous 5 or 6 years? Yes, a decent reliever, but a fairly awful starter. Plus Zambrano has been breaking down - his K/9 has fallen each of the last two years and he still walks a ton of guys- and if he falls much further he's going to run into real trouble. Is anyone going to debate that their bullpen is better than last year?

Fortunately for the Cubs they can still have a whole lot go wrong and probably still win the division... unless a whole ton of things also go right for someone else. Brewers, maybe?

Cubs for Sale... Lovely, Unwinning, Cubs for Sale

Hey, Hey. Someone bought the Cubs.

Ricketts picked to buy Cubs. Narrowly beats out Measles, Mumps and Mark Cuban

Sucker.

"My family and I are Cubs fans," said Tom Ricketts, the family's point person in the Cubs purchase. "We share the goal of Cubs fans everywhere to win a World Series and build the consistent championship tradition that the fans deserve."

Nice words. Neat, tidy. Just what the kids hooked on your
product want to hear.

I want actions, not words, Sir.

I'm still stung from drinking that laced Kool-Aid last season.
I'm thinking that I agree with Hitler's assessment of the Cubs...
I'm thinking that you and your family way over paid for the Cubs, given the current financial environment, and how Sam Zell took your check while wearing a barrel... (you might have wanted to, I don't know, haggle a little?)

Look, Mr. Ricketts, I am touched that you met your wife in the bleacher section. That's sweet. But soon you'll be taking the keys, and you better put your words into action, or I won't be buying your next PR statement or the product on your field.

Winter Meetings Preview

Thanks to J from Chi for pointing me to this

The Killre Method

A few measly days before the Cubs were to begin the post season I was having a chat with Killre. Killre has a history of abandoning the Cubs for a winning team if they make a move that he does not like. In his defense, he picks the team before the season starts. For example, he felt (and is correct) that the Cubs treated Mark Grace poorly in letting him go. He became a Diamondbacks fan for a year and they won it all. Last year, disappointed at the hiring of Lou (he wanted Girardi), he hopped on the Dodgers bandwagon. Having bought a hat, he kept that team for 2 years.

After the latest Cubs Collapse(TM) I have decided to hop the holy heck off of the bandwagon. My reason: I can't take it anymore. I have spent the last few days deciding whose bandwagon to hop onto. After all, I do (or did) love the sport. I am undecided on how to handle this so I would like some help. Below are a list of 5 teams that I am considering switching my allegiance to and the reasons why. Please help me decide.

Florida Marlins:
The Florida Marlins are the type of team that one could enjoy rooting for. First of all, the average ticket price is only $17. Compare that to Wrigley. Cheap. Also, the logo consists of a big god damned 'F' and I, for one, am a big fan of the F. In fact, if I look hard enough I think I have a Marlins hat. I wore it until 2003 made it impossible to do so as a Cub fan. Having taken care of that issue . . .

The Marlins are also fans of a farm system. The process goes like this: Develop talent in the minors while your MLB team sucks. Bring them up when ready, let them get good, win a World Series every 6 years or so and then sell everyone to restock your farm team. This is a good system for me. I get to watch players get better (novel), win (more novel) and then move on to do great things elsewhere. This makes the Sunday Night Baseball better when you could care less about the teams playing. "Hey, remember when he was good for us?" is a quote I could hear myself saying on the occasional Sunday.

Tampa bay Devil Rays:
Maybe too late for this one but here is my logic. No one goes to the freakin' park! The average ticket price is $16.82. A bargain. In fact they would probably give you free tickets if you promise to site where the cameras can make it look like they can fill a stadium. Fans would never be left out in the cold. How could they? All the players know them by name!

Also, they are not the wisest fans in the world so I can sing Go Rays Go! after each home win and no one would be any the wiser except for the rest of the country. And the only reason they would know is because of the elite liberal media. And if you yell fairly loud, you can hear yourself on the broadcast. Shit, they may make you the broadcaster. Another bonus: Anyone who yells, "Whoo! Whoo!" is shot. It is legal in Florida to shoot annoying people. Hell, it's legal to shoot anyone.

Iowa Cubs: This is a good one because it will only cost you about $2 for a Sharpie and just write, in cursive, Iowa on the upper left of all your Chicago Cubs shwag and viola! you are an Iowa Cubs fan. And forget average ticket prices, for $25 you can sit front row behind home plate. You can still yell out all of your favorite Cubbie sayings and no one will think anything of it.

I also like that you get to see players play real well that will suck balls in the MLB. I draw your attention to Corey Patterson. I rest my case. Also, unlike the C-Cubs, the I-Cubs have won it all as recently as 1993 and that is really, really recent for me. Another bonus: the cool-ass outfield seats. I would sit there and it would only cost me $7. One beer at Wrigley. A super extra bonus: if Rod Beck wasn't dead I could go to his trailer drink a Coors Light and use his bathroom. It was an open invite.

Washington Nationals: Look, if your team is going to suck, suck. Don't kick ass then suck, just flat out suck. Which brings me to the Nationals. This is a team that has already announced their ticket prices for next year with the following headline, "reductions on 7,500 ballpark seats and no price increases." Ever see that out of Wrigley? Hell, no. Also, you get to see Presidents throw the first pitch for many games.

Also, with the winning ways of the Rays, it may be harder to be "the man" at that ballpark. No such issue with the Nationals. In fact, you may very well be the only man at the ballpark. With the exception of the managers and players, quite literally.

They have the best audio and visual presentation of any team in baseball just nothing to use it on. Until I show up in a Speedo with a cryptic "I am National" tattooed across my chest. Think about it. I could be that guy. It is important to be that guy because if the team ever does well, everyone interviews you and let's you throw first pitches in your Speedo and sit in the booth with Slowes and Jageler. It could be fun. And face it, I really don't care what happens to the Nationals so I won;t ever be heart broken.

Seibu Lions: This team can win. And no one will ever talk to shit to me about my team because they are miles away. I have no idea how much it would cost to go to a game except that a ticket to Japan is not cheap. Possibly more than a bleacher seat at Wrigley. Outside of the Chicago Bulls of the 1990's I do not think I have ever rooted for a team that was a consistent winner. This is my chance.

A bonus of rooting for the Lions is that I could bring signs in English that make no sense. For example, "Tangerine Baby" would be a sign that I would hold up proudly. Or perchance a "Goosebump Pedicure" sign. I could turn a day at the ballpark into a David Lynch movie.

Other benefits include a shorter season (140 games) and games during the regular season end in a tie. No need for the heart break of losing in extra innings. Smaller baseballs, strike zones and players. I could grow to like it.

So please, help me decide my next team. I will stand by that team until May-ish when I will once again be convinced that now that the Cubs have shored up the middle infield and added an arm, we are shoo-ins for a title. And I do not want to miss it.

P.S. Mr. Daley, next year we do not need to cut off beer sales if the Cubs win. We need to cut that shit off when things o horribly wrong.

Problem with Drinking Kool Aid

The problem with drinking the Kool Aid - especially the Cubby Blue kind - is that there's cyanide in it.

Cubs? Bubs? More like the Chokes, or the Chubs.

Like a bad relationship - exactly like an ex-girlfriend who comes back after she dumped then you take her back because "it's going to be different this time, I swear" but then dumps you again. Yeah. That's your Chicago Cubs. Gets you all hot and excited and then leaves you with Blue Balls. Maybe that's why it's "Cubby Blue?"

I knew once I drank the Kool Aid I'd be in for a ride. 97 W's. That was extraordinary. It really did seem different this time...

Frst three games of the post season? Nope. Dumped again.

I hereby declare that I will not actively spend any further dollars or time on their organization. I will not actively try to go see any games in 2009 season. I will not spend one moment listening to Ron "You know this game really comes down to the pitching... and the hitting" Santo. I will not be buying ANY Cubs licensed products, (maybe toilet paper would be an exception?) I won't be checking their progress on the sports page. In fact, I think I'm going to cancel my Tribune subscription too.

Patience

Every year, all summer long I root for my beloved Cubbies to make it to the playoffs. I follow almost every pitch (more so now that I have a DVR) and am excited or heart broken in true Cubbie fan fashion game by freaking game. When they do make the playoffs, I am one excited son of a bitch. I brag and yap and buy a new cap and walk around my neighborhood watching the preperations. Signs go up, bars get specials (Lots of Sopporo this year), and Wrileyville buzzes.

Then, the day arrives. It is the day of game 1. And I get a sinking, sad feeling. A nervousness that we will once again be the talk of SportsCenter with our futility. I don't want to hear anymore talk of goddamn goats, cats, lizards, or whatever the hell will happen that year to get us. I remember Arizona, Atlanta, and those damned Marlins. And I don't like it.

This series, I think, comes down to tonight. Yes, that is a little extreme but hear me out. Lowe is a fantastic pitcher. I don't buy the awesome numbers of the past month due largely to who the Dodgers were playing. But to lose game one will give us that dreaded, familiar feeling in the gut. And we all know how Cubs fans react to that. I mention Game 7 in 2003.

Tonight, the key to the game is patience. Wait for your pitch against this crafty sinkerballer and hope the strike zone is a touch on the small side. No matter what I say, Soriano will swing at Lowe's first pitch. And he will swing hard. But I maintain that making him throw a lot of pitches and relaxing in that batter's box will win us this game.

I expect low scoring games and great pitching. Tonight is the best of the best: Dempster and Lowe. Being a short series we may just see these guys go at it twice. Both times at Wrigley. I expect good things from both Ramirez'.

I do think the Cubs will win in four but I do not think it will have seemed like a 3-1 series. It will seem like a 6-4 series. I think Zambrano will be OK and I believe in Harden. Now I am only predicting this game because I cannot concentrate on anything else right now so I will go in dpeth and be roundly mocked later.

Game 1: Cubs win 3-2. They will be losing 1-0 mostthe game and in the seventh or so the bats will come alive for 3 quick runs. Wood will give up a run before nailing it down.

Game 2: Cubs win 7-5. Zambrano looks awesom. Awesome! for 6 innings. Luckily, this is the bats game and the Cubs squeak it out. Marmol gets the win.

Game 3: 2-0 Dodgers. Ouch. The sky is falling. No one can hit a ball and things look bad up North. But not too bad with a 2-1 series lead.

Game 4: 3-1 Cubs. Dodgers leave 9 on base and will have had ample chances but we only are walking Manny by now and he will not kill us.

Final: 3-1 Cubs.

Enjoy and do not expect me to answer the phone for a while tonight.

October Baseball

I'm still waiting to hear from J from Chi's take on who made it, who he predicted, and whatnot-
but I'd like to offer my take on Round One of October Baseball... oh, and Fred Snyder too. If we can find him.

National League

Based on the numbers, Cubs ought to take Dodger's lunch money. .602 PCT to Dodger's limp .519. Again the West is allowed to play due to ancient baseball treaty obligations. Consider that there were seven teams that out performed the Dodgers in the National League. Philly, NY Mets, Florida, Chicago, Milwaukee, Houston and St. Louis all had better numbers than the Dodgers. However, in the playoffs, things can get silly. The intangible for the Cubs point to Manny. He's either going to shut up, and help - or piss 'em off, just like so many other teams he's been on before. The guy is to team unity akin to pissing in the Gatoraid. Cubbies in five.

Milwaukee fought and limped into the Wild Card spot. I'll give them one win. They lose to Philly in a four game series.

Now on to that "other" League.

Last night the White Sox and Twins were forced to see who would win the AL Central. Somehow the White Sox scraped out a run between them, and now Chicago gets another team into the playoffs. First time that's happened in 102 years.
I am not expecting an 'El Series' based on the numbers and the pitching. Bats only get you into the playoffs. Pitching wins them. Tampon - er, Tampa will take the Sox in 4. Tampa ended .599 Sox .546. I know regular season numbers aren't a great indicator of win in the playoffs. However, I based my prediction of a 1-2-3 'yer out for the Bubs last year. It didn't disappoint me to be spot on. I remember OneF yelling at me for falling off the bandwagon when everyone else was climbing aboard. He had to apologize.

Red Sox and Angels are the better match-up in the ALDS. Ever since I read Moneyball I've been a fan of the Angels organization. This one will be a gem to watch, and harder to predict. It'll go for five for sure. I'm going to say Angels. Why? Again, just based on final numbers. Angels .617 to Boston's .586.

Disagree? Fine. Yell and scream at me in the comments bar- but you have to show your work. I did.

Once we see how these chips fall, I'll play again in round two.