Daley 'Outsider' Back In

Chicago Machine In Full Gear

William Daley Will Be President's Chief of Staff, Officials Say

William M. Daley will become the next White House chief of staff, bringing an outsider's voice and decades of experience with business to the West Wing, officials said Thursday.

Currently a senior executive of the investment bank JPMorgan Chase, Mr. Daley was commerce secretary in the Clinton administration, and is currently a senior executive at JPMorgan Chase. He's also someone's brother...

President Obama make it official later today. Pete Rouse, the interim chief of staff and a longtime friend of the president's, will become a counselor to Mr. Obama, officials said.

Read the official version

Well, Change? Yeah, that went out the window when Obama picked Biden. I guess Change really meant, "Not Hillary."

Even if you CAN look past this Bill Daley is Richie Daley's brother -- I can't -- Another big banker is needed for more influence in the Obama Administration? And they're trying to sell Bill Daley as an outsider? What?! Are you being serious right now? That's as absurd as when George W. Bush AND John McCain tried that line. Bill Daley is the face of the Machine outside Cook County. He's up with Clinton and also Al Gore. He's about as much an outsider as much as the Washington Monument isn't in the Mall.

“This was a real mistake by the White House,” said Adam Green with BoldProgressives.org. “Bill Daley consistently urges the Democratic Party to pursue a corporate agenda that alienates both Independent and Democratic voters.”

If I were one of the people donating to Mr. Obama's campaign, not only would I not donate for his re-election on JUST THIS -- but I'd ask for a refund for the previous contribution.

President McCain Extends Bush Legacy for Third Term

[not-so-ALTERNATE UNIVERSE, WASHINGTON DC] President McCain has held his ground on everything that the previous office holder, George W. Bush, set the table with.

He's kept Guantanamo open.

Despite a nice parade, the US has committed to staying in Iraq.

He is expanding our mission in Afghanistan.

He, and the Fed gave unknown billions to their friends at the banks and also Wall Street, on top of what Mr. Bush handed out before Mr. McCain took the oath of office.

And after 'reaching across the isle' to work with a Democrat controlled Congress, he was able to have lopsided kickbacks for insurance companies and waivers for Unions. Reid and Pelosi passed the American Healthcare Compromise Act of 2009, or so called McCainCare - and then took a shellacking at the polls when the Democrat faithful lost faith in their party in November.

Now, just last night, Mr. McCain and Bush have another major win in their hat - they strong-armed the lame duck Democrat Congress to extend the "Bush tax cuts." Again, they can claim bi-partisanship to the voters by extending unemployment benefits as part of the 800 Billion dollar 'Stimulus' package.

Democrats are furious over the "Bush Third Term," and are still haven't gotten over the fact that their candidate Barack Obama had to bow out of the race at the last minute for not producing his original birth certificate instead of a blurry photocopy. But Democrats do capitulate that, "at least with Sarah Palin as the Ve-eP we haven't heard a peep out of her or her family since the inaugural ball."

Okay - joke's over. Guess what. Replace McCain with Obama - what'a got? Same. Exact. Story. There is only one party - the business party.

The Killre Method

A few measly days before the Cubs were to begin the post season I was having a chat with Killre. Killre has a history of abandoning the Cubs for a winning team if they make a move that he does not like. In his defense, he picks the team before the season starts. For example, he felt (and is correct) that the Cubs treated Mark Grace poorly in letting him go. He became a Diamondbacks fan for a year and they won it all. Last year, disappointed at the hiring of Lou (he wanted Girardi), he hopped on the Dodgers bandwagon. Having bought a hat, he kept that team for 2 years.

After the latest Cubs Collapse(TM) I have decided to hop the holy heck off of the bandwagon. My reason: I can't take it anymore. I have spent the last few days deciding whose bandwagon to hop onto. After all, I do (or did) love the sport. I am undecided on how to handle this so I would like some help. Below are a list of 5 teams that I am considering switching my allegiance to and the reasons why. Please help me decide.

Florida Marlins:
The Florida Marlins are the type of team that one could enjoy rooting for. First of all, the average ticket price is only $17. Compare that to Wrigley. Cheap. Also, the logo consists of a big god damned 'F' and I, for one, am a big fan of the F. In fact, if I look hard enough I think I have a Marlins hat. I wore it until 2003 made it impossible to do so as a Cub fan. Having taken care of that issue . . .

The Marlins are also fans of a farm system. The process goes like this: Develop talent in the minors while your MLB team sucks. Bring them up when ready, let them get good, win a World Series every 6 years or so and then sell everyone to restock your farm team. This is a good system for me. I get to watch players get better (novel), win (more novel) and then move on to do great things elsewhere. This makes the Sunday Night Baseball better when you could care less about the teams playing. "Hey, remember when he was good for us?" is a quote I could hear myself saying on the occasional Sunday.

Tampa bay Devil Rays:
Maybe too late for this one but here is my logic. No one goes to the freakin' park! The average ticket price is $16.82. A bargain. In fact they would probably give you free tickets if you promise to site where the cameras can make it look like they can fill a stadium. Fans would never be left out in the cold. How could they? All the players know them by name!

Also, they are not the wisest fans in the world so I can sing Go Rays Go! after each home win and no one would be any the wiser except for the rest of the country. And the only reason they would know is because of the elite liberal media. And if you yell fairly loud, you can hear yourself on the broadcast. Shit, they may make you the broadcaster. Another bonus: Anyone who yells, "Whoo! Whoo!" is shot. It is legal in Florida to shoot annoying people. Hell, it's legal to shoot anyone.

Iowa Cubs: This is a good one because it will only cost you about $2 for a Sharpie and just write, in cursive, Iowa on the upper left of all your Chicago Cubs shwag and viola! you are an Iowa Cubs fan. And forget average ticket prices, for $25 you can sit front row behind home plate. You can still yell out all of your favorite Cubbie sayings and no one will think anything of it.

I also like that you get to see players play real well that will suck balls in the MLB. I draw your attention to Corey Patterson. I rest my case. Also, unlike the C-Cubs, the I-Cubs have won it all as recently as 1993 and that is really, really recent for me. Another bonus: the cool-ass outfield seats. I would sit there and it would only cost me $7. One beer at Wrigley. A super extra bonus: if Rod Beck wasn't dead I could go to his trailer drink a Coors Light and use his bathroom. It was an open invite.

Washington Nationals: Look, if your team is going to suck, suck. Don't kick ass then suck, just flat out suck. Which brings me to the Nationals. This is a team that has already announced their ticket prices for next year with the following headline, "reductions on 7,500 ballpark seats and no price increases." Ever see that out of Wrigley? Hell, no. Also, you get to see Presidents throw the first pitch for many games.

Also, with the winning ways of the Rays, it may be harder to be "the man" at that ballpark. No such issue with the Nationals. In fact, you may very well be the only man at the ballpark. With the exception of the managers and players, quite literally.

They have the best audio and visual presentation of any team in baseball just nothing to use it on. Until I show up in a Speedo with a cryptic "I am National" tattooed across my chest. Think about it. I could be that guy. It is important to be that guy because if the team ever does well, everyone interviews you and let's you throw first pitches in your Speedo and sit in the booth with Slowes and Jageler. It could be fun. And face it, I really don't care what happens to the Nationals so I won;t ever be heart broken.

Seibu Lions: This team can win. And no one will ever talk to shit to me about my team because they are miles away. I have no idea how much it would cost to go to a game except that a ticket to Japan is not cheap. Possibly more than a bleacher seat at Wrigley. Outside of the Chicago Bulls of the 1990's I do not think I have ever rooted for a team that was a consistent winner. This is my chance.

A bonus of rooting for the Lions is that I could bring signs in English that make no sense. For example, "Tangerine Baby" would be a sign that I would hold up proudly. Or perchance a "Goosebump Pedicure" sign. I could turn a day at the ballpark into a David Lynch movie.

Other benefits include a shorter season (140 games) and games during the regular season end in a tie. No need for the heart break of losing in extra innings. Smaller baseballs, strike zones and players. I could grow to like it.

So please, help me decide my next team. I will stand by that team until May-ish when I will once again be convinced that now that the Cubs have shored up the middle infield and added an arm, we are shoo-ins for a title. And I do not want to miss it.

P.S. Mr. Daley, next year we do not need to cut off beer sales if the Cubs win. We need to cut that shit off when things o horribly wrong.