Al Gore's Massage

Looks like Al and Tipper aren't getting divorced because of a misplaced aluminum can or 'drifting apart' -- no, more like a half-assed Clinton attempt to get a happy ending. Didn't he learn ANYTHING after hanging out with Bill for eight years?

Apparently calls to the hotel masseuse in Oregon at 10:30 is a call for an actual masseuse. Elliot Spritzer at least got that part right.

Anyhow, since no one in the States are talking about Mr. Gore's botched debauchery - that's where I come in - here's a Sim-like computer generated version of the masseues's perspective of how it went down that evening... and judging by the look on her computer generated face, she did not go down on anyone. This re-enactment was created by Taiwanese "news service" NMA to re-create the allegations made against Al Gore. And that's news service, the same way Entertainment Tonight is news.

Funny. He still looks a little stiff.

Al and Tipper Tip Over

Young Love. In this Aug. 17, 2000 photo, then-Vice President Al Gore kissed his wife Tipper as he steps onto the stage at the Democratic National Convention in Los Angeles.

They're breaking up.

Well, so much for his career in politics.

I wonder if they broke up because she forgot to recycle that can of Diet Pepsi?

Term Paper Dictates UN Policy

UN climate change panel based their claims on a student dissertation. My term paper on Lady GaGa still got a lousy D!

No doubt this little gem may cause fresh eggs to be thrown on the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), which, as you might have heard, were forced to issue a humiliating apology earlier this month over inaccurate statements about global warming. (Full)

This new report, says that the observed reductions in mountain ice in the Andes, Alps and Africa was being caused by global warming, citing two papers as the source of the information. But about that... it seems that it was actually some kid and a mountain climbing magazine. Presumably the climbing magazine was either skimmed at the grocery store or at a dentist's office - that isn't clear at the moment.

What is clear is that they're simply making this stuff up - and not using that higher power of science -- but, as it seems, using hearsay and the telephone game to create their policy. That policy which could alter the course of the entire human race.

Professor Richard Tol, one of the report's authors who is based at the Economic and Social Research Institute in Dublin, Ireland, said: "These are essentially a collection of anecdotes."

"Why did they do this? It is quite astounding. Although there have probably been no policy decisions made on the basis of this, it is illustrative of how sloppy Working Group Two (the panel of experts within the IPCC responsible for drawing up this section of the report) has been.

"There is no way current climbers and mountain guides can give anecdotal evidence back to the 1900s, so what they claim is complete nonsense."

The IPCC report, which is published every six years, is used by government's worldwide to inform policy decisions that affect billions of people. Oh, so I guess this is kind of serious.

Look, I want a nice place to live until we get off this rock and go screw up that planet that was in Avatar. We need to pick and choose what the best way to use our resources are - and we need to make the case whether carting a 300 lb incontinent office secretary back and forth from her cats and work is the best use of the rest of our gasoline. I'm even thinking that using coal to fire up the old Lappy 486 on my desk isn't exactly the best use of a precious resource either... but my concern here is that these so called scientists ARE JUST MAKING STUFF UP!

Worse, is that their brand of 'science' is nothing more than snake oil wrapped up in good intentions. The larger danger is that those folks who believe that Atlantis and Big Foot are science, or are already at odds with science because their church, state, ex-governors from Alaska and the television are telling them that the white lab coat people are funneling their tax dollars away from the new football scoreboard over some scam... then we're all going to die off, and in a very unpleasant manner.

So knock it off!

Sequel: Coming Soon!

Ahem. ClimateFaith in the Ocean

You know, every one of you who hates me for not buying into the whole ClimateFaith (tm) thing?

Remember how I said Al Gore never took the Sun or the heat sync ability of the Earth's oceans to convert carbon and to absorb heat from an over active sun in his models? About that...

The Discovery Channel just announced that it agrees with me.

http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/09/01/oceans-carbon-absorb.html

Gore's Ethanol Investments

As the media slowly turns against ethanol - because the growing international food crisis is much more sensational- there's one idol they have yet to examine: Untouchable Saint Nobel Laureate Al Gore.

Al has strongly advocated the use of biofuels for years, and even has also admitted to having investments in companies involved in such agri-business.

Of course, it's possible the popular press aren't convinced enough about the the connection between ethanol and rising food prices around the world that they're willing to fell their Green God? Here's some pesky data from Marlo Lewis's spectacular piece "Food for Fuel Is No Laughing Matter"

According to the USDA, total U.S. corn production was 11.8 billion bushels in 2004/05 and will reach an estimated 13 billion bushels in 2007/08 — an increase of 1.2 billion bushels. Corn production for ethanol was 1.3 billion bushels in 2004/05 and will reach an estimated 3.2 billion bushels in 2007/08 — an increase of 1.9 billion bushels. Ethanol manufacture is consuming all the increase in total U.S. corn production, and then some.

Indeed, according to the World Bank, “Almost all of the increase in global maize [corn] production from 2004 to 2007 (the period when grain prices rose sharply) went for bio-fuels production in the U.S., while existing stocks were depleted by an increase in global consumption for other uses.” The World Bank explains: “From 2004 to 2007, global maize production increased 51 million tons, biofuel use in the U.S. increased 50 million tons and global consumption for all other uses increased 33 million tons, which caused global stocks to decline by 30 million tons.” That bears repeating: “Almost all” the increase in global corn production from 2004 to 2007 went to produce ethanol in the United States, and in the process global corn stocks declined by 30 million tons. How could that not have dramatic effects on global corn prices?

And this includes wheat, since Congress artificially increases the demand for and price of corn, wheat farmers are able to charge more for their product and still be competitive.

The one factor exacerbating world hunger that Congress can do something about is U.S. biofuel policy. Repealing the corn ethanol mandate would free up billions of bushels to feed people and livestock. Grain prices would fall — by an estimated 20 percent for corn and 10 percent for wheat, according to IFPRI.

When you get right down to it, the ethanol mandate is just a Soviet-style production quota system in green garb. Even the green tint is rubbing off as experts document how corn ethanol produces more greenhouse gas emissions than the gasoline it displaces, and how Europe’s biofuel directive is bankrolling rainforest destruction and species loss in Indonesia and Malaysia. Even Time magazine, a voice of global warming alarmism, now calls the U.S. and EU biofuel programs a “clean energy scam.”

And Professor Al Gore is right in the middle of this. The time has come for media's disgust with ethanol to begin exposing those that advocated it, and are financially benefiting from it.

If it makes them feel better, they can follow such reports with another segment on Dick Cheney having run Halliburton years ago.

Gore Dodges Questions

Al Dodges Questions About the International Food Crisis, Ethanol and Climate Alarmism

A remarkable thing happened Thursday: a press member wanted to ask Nobel Laureate Al Gore about the growing international food crisis and how it relates to ethanol and global warming hysteria. It's something I might have mentioned before anyone else, ah, but who the hell is reading Blasphemes anyway?

Not surprisingly, the man who cast the tie-breaking vote in the Senate fourteen years ago mandating the use of ethanol wasn't available, and a spokesman for his hysteria-driving Alliance for Climate Protection declined to comment.

Well, Isn't that convenient?

Maybe this is why Gore isn't allowing press members into his speeches? Just a guess?

Meanwhile, in response to the global rice shortage - Costco and Sam's Clubs are limiting members to only 4 tons of rice (per visit). They still love you though.

High Price of Hunger

The uproar this week has been the increasing cost of food around the globe. (link to NPR)

Consumers (and that would be everyone who eats) worldwide are facing rising food prices. There are couple of reasons given: A storm in Indonesia was a factor in the rice crop. But more important is higher oil prices, lower food reserves and growing consumer demand in China and India. The UN even given the food price crisis a hip name, "Silent Tsunami."

And it's not so much a shortage of food... it's much more about the price of food. Food prices have risen in price 83% says the The World Bank. The price of rice has more than doubled in the last five weeks.

What's the real reason? Midwest farmers selling corn to make ethanol instead of feed for cattle or for people.

Who's going to suffer? Poor people. There have already been riots in Egypt killed at least two people last week, and similar food riots broke out in Burkina Faso and Cameroon this month. Never mind that these foodstuffs are heavily controlled by despotic nations. There have even been food protests in Italy. And while the price of spaghetti has doubled in Haiti, the cost of miso is packing a hit in Japan. 33 countries are in danger of being in turmoil as a result of expensive food.

How did prices jump so high, and so quickly?

It doesn't take a genius to figure this one out. I'm not. But I'll give it a shot.

An ex-Presidential candidate makes a PowerPoint Presentation (full of all kinds of Special Effects, and makes things look even better than reality - and it is since said footage was 'borrowed' CGI from Hollywood. Link to that story)

Polar Bears are dying!
People start to panic.

"We've got to get off the oil!," the people say. Companies like Arthur Daniels Midland (ADM) - and others - have been making ethanol from corn sugars for years, and says, "Hey, we can help!" "We'll get you off that oil, lickity split."

Let's forget for a second that ethanol doesn't make a whole hell-of-a-lot of sense. What I mean is that on the simple argument that ethanol is more environmentally safe for the planet. Ethanol is one of many alternative fuels used in order to solve the ex-Presidential candidate's Carbon issue, raised in the PowerPoint.

If there's too much carbon from petroleum use, why then would you farm the land in the Midwest of the USA with tractors, and chemicals, and cut and transport that corn to silos - then transport it again by diesel train to processing plants. Those plants burn more fuel to grind the corn, strip the corn to compound sugars with more fuel, then take the extracted sugars to be distilled using more fuel it to create alcohol, and then mixing it with other compounds to make it capable of firing in an internal combustion engine...


...when oil is cheaper and cleaner THAN ALL THAT?

Perhaps having our Presidential Primary season start in Iowa has a little something to do with this? Nah. That's too easy.

As a result 1/4 of US corn is now used in Ethanol production.

Now the demand for corn has going up quicker than after the invention of Corn Flakes. There's money to be made in them-thar-fields... more than ever. And corn is the big money crop. Wheat, alfalfa sprouts, and other staples of America's bread basket are being plowed over in favor of more corn. There was more corn produced in the USA since WWII last year. Here's a link to some notes of last year's crop. (also check the Dept of Ag)

Great, where's it all going? A quarter going to the gas tank but I can't say I've had an ear of corn since -

Hold on bucko. America's junk food empire "Big Food" (kind of like Big Tobacco, but with food) is fueled by: ...wait for it... corn! High fructose corn syrup makes the sodas sweet, corn-fed beef makes the burgers fat, and corn oil crisps the fries. I contend this is the ingredient that has caused adult onset Type II Diabetes to show up in US children. It's blowing out their pancreas' ability to produce sufficient amounts of insulin to regulate blood sugar.

I've written about High Fructose Corn Syrup before. But now it seems as the West is getting plump and fat - the poor in Africa and Asia are going to die.

King Corn.

Big demand for corn.
Less other food being grown.
Planet still burning fuel.
Fuel prices continue to rise.
There's less to eat - well, less CHEEP food to eat.

Less cheep food, less rice, less eating = more hunger.
People are getting uncomfortable.
Prices continue to rise.
Riots start.
Polar Bears are dying
People are going to start dying soon.
Polar Bears and now People.

Happy Earth Day.

It's only mildly ironic - perhaps moronic that the ex-Presidential candidate's discussion concluded that climate change would cause refugees into other countries and cause starvation and topple stability of political systems.

It looks more to me like a PowerPoint Presentation has had some Unintended Consequences.


Hey, look on the bright side, maybe at this year's Farm Aid the rich farmers will write checks to urban children who can't afford their insulin? Oprah can get involved too. It'll be America's Heartland's Big Give!

Al? Is he Serial?

CNN's Jack Cafferty has asked a question.... (CNN post)

Here’s my question to you: If the Democrats have trouble picking between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, should Al Gore consider entering the race?

Wha-wha-what?
My first inclination is, you're out of your galdurned mind for even bringing this question up? Again?

Now, as you know, I even endorsed an Al Gore run - but that was back in - what? - October or September of 2007. I knew that he could have un-seated the inevitability of Mrs. Clinton-elect *and as a refresher, at the time, she was unstoppable.

It would have been (and still could be) very personal. Al would have kicked Hillary in the nuts for marginalizing him in the Bill Clinton White House.... oh and not supporting him in his run.

Minor personal items aside, Al has a pretty good thing going with the Global Warming awareness racket he's got going on. He's already filled the garage with awards and trophies, what would he want with the Presidency? He already won that - and got off easy by not having to actually perform the duties of the President. Golf clap there for you Al.

Besides, just this week Al was hanging out with Bono and, presumably, receiving another award. Why would he want to lose that street cred and actually be the President this time around? Why would he take the pay cut?

Yes. Al Gore would win if he threw his hat into the ring.

There. I said it.

Yeah, he would win.

...as long as he didn't have to debate Global Warming, or explain why he didn't take the Kyoto treaty to the Senate - or discus all that money he got from China. Or Bill Clinton. Or Hillary Clinton. Or his close relationship with MoveOn.org, or the fact that he's publicly flip-flopped on every major issue that has come up since his 2000 campaign...

-his political persona has taken on several more iterations since then. Those changes -- from a moderate New Democrat to a liberal populist -- have left many in the party confused about just what Gore really believes and fearful that any attempt by him to re-emerge on the national scene would be met with regular and repeated taunts of flip-flopping by Republicans. (Washington Post.com)

Other than that, he'd be a shoe in!

Wow, did you notice that they placed the blame on Kerry losing is for flip-flopping, not his ineptitude as a politician? Interesting.

But back to Al winning - I mean, the Republicans are fractured trying to figure out who Ronald Reagan was and how best to do an imitation of him. Once they did it was Fred Thompson - and he did such a good a job... that he fell asleep. It's not to late to put Rich Little up there, assuming he's still alive that is.

And the Democrats aren't just divided - they're building a trench. A deep one too.

Al Gore can build a bridge over that trench. He can get the MoveOn.org crazy-heads, the Green Movement (ironic, I know - I already wrote about that) and the old skool Clintonians who have forgotten the past enough to vote for the Hill - but secretly hate the fact they're voting for the Hill now. Got all that?

Oh, yeah, Republicans? Well, maybe they'd just sit this one out and wait four years to clobber him?

But if the Hill is grabbing votes from Michigan and Florida - and playing every dirty hand she can scrounge up - it makes me ponder what dirt they've got on Al to keep him out in the first place. Hmmmm.....

Bush to Host Gores

We'd be honored for you to join us.

Joining the most awkward dinner party since Darth Vader, Han and Princess Leia met on Cloud City, when Dr. No invited James Bond to dinner, Spencer Tracy and Sidney Poitier, or when your sister brought her African boyfriend to Thanksgiving just to try to give your dad one more heart attack... George Bush and Al Gore.

Bush will host the American winners of this year's Nobel Prizes in the Oval Office on Nov. 26 -- including the winner of the Peace Prize, former Vice-President Al Gore, according to a report in the Washington Post.

Moreover, reports the Post, the White House took great pains to accommodate Gore's schedule -- moving the event after a conflict was discovered. All this and a personal call from the president to his former rival for the highest office. So no, he WILL NOT be able to decline.

"The president wanted to call him and lock that in and make sure he's going to be able to come," said White House spokesman Tony Fratto. "He also offered his congratulations and said he looked forward to having him here."

There is precedent!

Bush invited Jimmy Carter to the White House to celebrate his Nobel Peace Prize in 2002. This invite came on the heels of the former president criticizing Bush about his ramping up for war in Iraq. Keep your friends close - enemies closer?

The current invite to Gore breaks an apparent deadlock in relations between the two men.

According to the Post report, Gore has not returned to the White House since leaving as vice president. Because Gore thinks Bush is a "doodie-head" or something.

Possible Retraction - or catch and release

Well, it looks like might have made a mistake...

Al Gore and Fish are friends!

"Al Gore could choose something else to eat". The attack on the former vice-president, and his implied hypocrisy, were rapidly picked up by bloggers around the world. (yea! we're in the newspaper, ma!)

But the fish enjoyed by the Gores were not endangered or illegally caught.

Rather, the restaurant later confirmed, they had come from one of the world's few well-managed, sustainable populations of toothfish, and caught and documented in compliance with Marine Stewardship Council regulations. The Gores' spokesman, Kalee Kreider, admitted that the fish has been on the menu, but said: "The Gores absolutely agree with this humane society and the rest of the environmental community about illegally caught Chilean sea bass.

"The problem is huge. This is unfortunate, we have been in touch with the society today. The really important thing is that people become more aware of this issue."

What are the odds that Kalee Kreider probably has never had a day off?

Gore does it again!

Just a week after dumping tons of CO2 in the atmosphere to promote not dumping CO2 into the atmosphere, Al Gore again shows his commitment to Mother Earth by serving a threatened species of fish at his daughter's wedding.

Gore and his guests at the weekend ceremony dined on Chilean sea bass
- arguably one of the world's most threatened fish species.

Also known as Patagonian toothfish, the species is under pressure from illegal, unregulated and unreported fishing activities in the Southern Ocean, jeopardising the sustainability of remaining stocks.

Do as I say, not as I do.

McCain Nosedive

WASHINGTON- Republican support for presidential candidate John McCain has dropped by more than 11 percentage points since early February, according to the Web site Real Clear Politics.

The senator from Arizona now receives the support of 15 percent of Republicans, down from 26.4 percent 20 weeks ago, according to the Web site, which averages the results of major opinion surveys.

Although he has always trailed GOP front-runner Rudy Giuliani in national polls, McCain slipped to third place in recent weeks behind former Tennessee Sen. Fred Thompson, who has not even officially declared his candidacy.

So, maybe he should leave the ring, then come back in at the last minute? Seems to be Al Gore's game plan.

New issue on stands now.