Good Answer to Stupid

Jay-Z Wanted by Miami P-D.

This is what The Miami Police Department's website looked like: you are being warned about the criminal activities of the notorious violent gang leader Jay-Z, gang member Jay-Z, and some other guys. The streets aren't safe.

(ala Gawker)

PS - If you hire a graphic designer in their 20's to make your home page look like Grand Theft Auto - make sure they're not lifting photos from the internet. That's grand theft copyright infringement.

Target practice, anyone?

Folks, I can't tell you how awesome cool this image or just this idea is. If you've never fired a gun, or are just thinking about it - if you had this in front of your site, you'd never leave the firing range.

Darth Vader, T-800 Terminator, Zombie

Freddy Kruger, Space Invader, Megatron

Godzilla, Agent Smith, Goomba

Jesus is the Reason... for US History

Christians aim to change the history lessons in Texas Schools.

It seems since they got kicked out of Science class, they're going to rewrite history now?

State's education board to consider adding Christianity's role in American history to curriculum.

You know, I'd be fine with that - as long as they explain that it was because the Puritans were so obnoxious and intolerant of everyone else they were booted out of England and the Netherlands. That's why they came to settle in the New World. So, from a certain point of view they are correct. I have a feeling that it won't go that way.

How about how the aim of many colonies was to create the right conditions for Christ's return? A 'new-Eden,' a new-Jerusalem. Utopian Christian Paradise on Earth. How'd that work out?

But will someone explain why these adults are so concerned about injecting religion into the classroom? Are they so insecure with their own beliefs that they have to try to indoctrinate their faith to children to prop up their own insecurities... oh wait, that might be it.

Apparently they're not able to do it at home or at their church - so why not the public schools? The larger question is, shouldn't there be some kind of test - maybe the IQ type - to be on a Da Broad of Edumychon? If there is, shouldn't it be a little harder than a driver's test?

Epic Logo Fail

Wow - this is an Epic Fail of a logo.

I only know enough about graphic design that I can post pictures on Blasphemes.
(see, there's a little button on a dashboard and it just puts it up there for me... so I'm not even really good at that either, truth be told.)

But just look at this thing!
I asked someone what's technically wrong with it

"Uploading far more data than is required. Designers should set the dimensions of their images to the correct size and not have browsers or CMS resize them."

Uh, not the answer I was looking for, thanks though.

It's for a Children's charity!
From their website:

Child sexual abuse is a very complex problem,
and this website touches on only a small part of it.
The information we provide is not a substitute
for the advise of professionals.
It is only to give you simple, proactive steps
to help protect children.

Sweet Jumpin' Jesus.

So here's some more bad designs worth a look-see. Enjoy.

Got anymore? Give 'em up. I'll post 'em. Cap

Sasquatch Evidence Update

One of the two samples of DNA said to prove the existence of the Bigfoot came from a human and the other was 96 percent from an opossum.

Results from tests on genetic material from alleged remains of one of the mythical half-ape and half-human creatures, made public at a news conference on Friday held after the claimed discovery swept the Internet, failed to prove its existence.

This coverage by the mainstream media was all started by the release of a photograph of a hairy heap, bearing a close resemblance to a shaggy full-body gorilla costume, stuffed into a container resembling a refrigerator.

The two men who "discovered" (I love the use of scientific words in stories like these) apparently are a correctional officer and a policeman on disability. Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer, the two who say they discovered the Bigfoot corpse while hiking in the woods of northern Georgia.
They also are co-owners of a company that offers Bigfoot merchandise. Wow! What an amazing coincidence!

Here's a video where they tout their services as bigfoot trackers (pops a new window for you)

Here's another where they have a 'scientist' (he wasn't, and was later outed as the brother of one of the guys) talking about the bigfoot corpse. (pops a new window too)

Seriously, check those videos out.

Now - a couple things that I'd like to discuss. First off, why was the news media - including highly vaulted entities such as the New York Times giving this any attention? Are we so completely out of news that we have to treat THIS as news?

Second, and more importantly, the thing about this hoax that amazes me and that absolutely no one has brought up:
If the pile of opossum they produced is 4% human - who was it?

Shouldn't this start a criminal investigation?

For the rest of you, who might be finding this link via the interwebs, or on a google search - looking for Sasquatch or Bigfoot news - let me recommend a book that has all the answers to UFO's, Big Foot, the Chupacabra, the lost continent of Atlantis, witches and Wigi boards...

If you find that it's too difficult to read, have some one read it to you.

Ixnay on the ecrets-yay

Every Taxi in Beijing Bugged With GPS-Tagging Microphone For Instant Surveillance

If you're in Beijing for the Olympics kick starting this weekend, don't be spilling any beans (state secrets or otherwise) in your cab back to the hotel, because you're being listened to. As the WSJ is reporting, on your taxi's dash is a microphone that can be activated remotely, at any time and without the driver's knowledge, for a live listen into any one of Beijing's estimated 70,000 cabs. And then, if the folks on the other end don't like what they hear, they can take things even further.

The GPS-equipped devices also allow for remote disabling by "cutting off the oil or electric supply," effectively shutting down the engine and keeping it from being restarted. Yikes.

Beijing police tow the general "it's for the driver's safety" line:

Whether these microphones are used to spy on riders is unclear. Asked if police could listen in on conversations in taxis, a Beijing police official declined to comment, saying that such matters were "confidential" and that they were "not supposed to release such details to the public."

As the State Department has warned, you can expect to be monitored in just about every other place, public or private. It's doubtful that every cab is being recorded at all times, but the tech is there if necessary. Comforting.

Several Beijing taxi companies declined to comment on the security aspect but said that the GPS helps track taxis and that the microphones will be used for translating services. About a dozen taxi drivers said the microphones were installed about three years ago, when newer cabs were built without protective metal cages around the drivers. Cabbies can turn on the system and alert their dispatch centers by touching a discreet button near the steering wheel.

Activists say they are concerned about the ability to listen to conversations with the devices, which appear unique to China. "This seems to suggest an effort by the police or other security forces to eavesdrop on conversations of passengers, rather than for the immediate safety and security of the taxi driver," said Phelim Kine of Human Rights Watch.

Read more pan-Gawker coverage of the 2008 Olympic Games.

StarChild

Arthur C. Clark passes from the white room to StarChild

COLOMBO, Sri Lanka - Arthur C. Clarke, a visionary science fiction writer who won worldwide acclaim with more than 100 books on space, science and the future, died Wednesday in his adopted home of Sri Lanka, an aide said. He was 90.

Clarke, who had battled debilitating post-polio syndrome since the 1960s and sometimes used a wheelchair, died at 1:30 a.m. after suffering breathing problems, aide Rohan De Silva said.

Clarke moved to Sri Lanka in 1956, lured by his interest in marine diving which he said was as close as he could get to the weightless feeling of space.

"I'm perfectly operational underwater," he once said.

Co-author with Stanley Kubrick of Kubrick's film "2001: A Space Odyssey," Clarke was regarded as far more than a science fiction writer.

He was credited with the concept of communications satellites in 1945, decades before they became a reality. Geosynchronous orbits, which keep satellites in a fixed position relative to the ground, are called Clarke orbits. He also wrote a library of books.

Be looking for Blaspheme's interpretation of 2001 in the coming week (s)

The Evolution of Creationism

I was surprised by the question, because it was the very same one I've been wanting to ask people like her for a looong time...

I was listening to Anderson Cooper 360 (CNN) last week. With Time carrying us all toward the culmination of one of the most, um, grave religious seasons of the year, when all of Christendom celebrates the resurrection of the man-sized, clown-faced, egg-laying Easter Bunny by filling brightly-colored plastic eggs with candy and then hiding them, Cooper was running a series of... segments, I guess you'd call them, entitled, "What is a Christian?"

In one of these... segments, Cooper was moderating (fueling the fire of) a debate --which on cable news means a verbal splooging of finely-honed dogma that escalates into a shouting match of not so finely-honed dogma before the host cuts them off and reminds everybody that this is, after all, America in the twenty-first century and, therefore, commercialism trumps news or views or discussion, every time, and we'll be right back-- moderating a debate over whether or not the Theory of Intelligent Design should be taught alongside the Theory of Evolution in public schools.

The Theory of Intelligent Design is a prime example of the latest, ahem, evolution in the shaping of the message being pushed by the Religious Right. It is the next step up the ladder from simple spin doctoring-- one of the best examples of which is the labels applied to the abortion issue.

Most supporters of Roe v. Wade refer to themselves as "pro-choice." It's an accurate enough term: While they're not in favor of abortion per se, they are in favor of keeping the option legal, if only for others to use. The implied rhetorical logic, of course, is that opponents of the Roe v. Wade decision are "anti-choice" --which is also accurate. If you need proof of that, all you have to do is read enough bumper stickers that say "It's not a choice. It's a child."

Anti-abortionists, realizing early on that they weren't getting anywhere by labeling themselves "anti-abortionists," or by labeling their opponents "murderers" and "baby killers" --not to mention the hypocrisy of killing abortion clinic employees-- decided to give themselves a positive label: "Pro-life." Apparently, their views on capital punishment are an entirely separate issue.

As I said before, the Theory of Intelligent Design represents the next step-- a far more sophisticated mechanism for introducing theology into the secular world. Fully realizing that they run the risk of being branded as kooks and superstitious crackpots if they do nothing more than thump The Book of Genesis down on the debate table, the Religious Right and others who desperately want there to be something more than a great big empty out there have carefully crafted an argument which they hope will seem more reasonable and be more palatable. It is a somewhat clever (insidious?) argument, because it utilizes one of the basic imperatives of the scientific method itself: The imperative to question and to challenge that which is accepted.

The Intelligent Designists, you see, do make a valid point when they say the Theories of Evolution and Big Bang --no matter how widely they are accepted-- should be continually explored, questioned, and challenged with alternatives. The very same scientific method which led to the acceptance of those theories says so. One thing many people tend to overlook most of the time is that the word "theory," within the realm of science, has a weighty definition: It means that while the evidence would seem to support a particular idea, that while all the data seems to fit, nothing has been proven.

Furthermore, Intelligent Designists are also accurate when they accuse evolutionist of having a knee jerk negative reaction to any theory that isn't Darwinism and the Big Bang. Most evolutionists, seeing a lamb in wolf's clothing --theology in the guise of science-- do have that reaction.

Such was the case last Wednesday night when Anderson Cooper was doing a not very good job of referee-ing the barnyard squabble between an evolutionist named Robert Boston (Americans United For Separation of Church and State) and a creat-- uh, intelligent-designist named Charmaine Yoest (Family Research Council). Had it been a debate competition, held in a vacuum, where it didn't matter who was right or wrong but only how well they represented their assigned point of view... she would have royally kicked his [donkey]. Whereas she came across as reasonable and fair-minded, he was the one who seemed dogmatic, exclusionary and nit-picky. During one near-hysterical exchange, he repeatedly interrupted her-- badgering her about the age of the planet. For her part, she chose to ignore the question on the grounds that her personal opinion regarding any one detail was beside the point of the larger argument.

This debate, however, was not and is not being held in a vacuum, and there are, I think, some important points to be, uh, pointed out...

Among many other things, Yoest, regarding what she referred to as the "censorship of anything non-Darwinian," said: "I think our children have more robust intelligence and, and questioning to be able to cope with looking at all the different theories that are out there."

Then she said: "I just have to ask: What is he [Robert Boston] so scared of?"

Later, as the squabble became more heated, she addressed Boston directly with the same question: "What are you so scared of?"

I was surprised by the question, because it was the very same one I've been wanting to ask people like her for a looong time: What are you afraid of?

Because I'll tell you what I'm afraid of. In fact, I'll go you one better, Charmaine: I'll tell you what you're afraid of, too...

Children --especially young children-- often do have a more robust intelligence than they are given credit for. However, they are sorely lacking in skepticism and critical thinking. In some ways that's good: It fuels creativity. In some ways, though, it's bad: It makes them gullible, impressionable. As children grow into adulthood, some of that early intelligence morphs into "common sense" and rote, the growing skepticism warps into a certain jadedness and, apparently, Charmaine, their critical thinking develops some major-league blind spots. You'd be appalled if you really knew how many walking, talking and otherwise clear-headed people there are in this country who are utterly convinced that all rivers flow south.

The Theory of Intelligent Design presupposes the existence of a supreme being. Any such theory is --by definition!-- theology, not science. Theology belongs in theology class, not science class.

The following passage is from the first chapter of The Book of Genesis: "God made the two great lights, the greater one to govern the day, and the lesser one to govern the night..."

Clearly, this passage refers to the sun and the moon. Notice the poetic --dare I say metaphorical-- use of the word "govern." If the god you believe in does exist, Charmaine, then neither the sun nor the moon govern anything at all-- He does. So much for a literal reading of the text.

Moreover, the moon is not a light source; it is a planetary body whose soil is appreciably reflective. It does not glow with light of its own; it reflects the light of the sun. The Book of Genesis is not a scientific text; it is an ancient collection of often rather stilted bedtime stories. In fact, that's all it was ever meant to be. Why, I got a phone call from God just last week, and he told me that he's very disappointed in all you creationists' failure to grasp the concept of allegory. He finds it strange that the very same people who think He invented, well, you know, Everything find it so hard to believe that He invented storytelling. He wonders why Jesus is allowed to use parables to make a point, but He isn't.

He also thinks Howard is a jerk.

And Dick Cheney, too.

So, Charmaine, what am I afraid of?
I'm afraid of superstitious, fairy-tale believers like you, with your heads in the sand and gaping holes in your critical thinking, filling the minds of impressionable young souls --that are already destined to have low test scores-- with bedtime stories masquerading as scientific fact. I'm afraid of you and your kind pushing this country and its people toward the very kind of theocracy we're supposed to be fighting against in Iraq and Afghanistan. I'm afraid that you True Believers are the harbingers of a new Dark Age.

And now, Charmaine, do you know what you're afraid of?
Death. It is cold and dark out there and it lasts a long, long time, and you just can't face the very real possibility that when the end comes it will indeed be The End. You are afraid of the astounding insignificance that bespeaks-- that your existence was an accident to begin with and someday all too soon it will be Over, completely, forever, and your life will ultimately mean no more to the universe than the life of an ant in Timbuktu means to you...

Ah, but take heart: For while most evolutionists seldom speak of God and, indeed, very well may not believe in one, the Theories of Evolution and Big Bang do not preclude His existence. They don't even try to do that. What they try to do is explain the physical mechanics of the world and the universe, nothing more. Oh sure, in doing so they reaffirm that The Book of Genesis is a theological text, neither science nor, for that matter, history. But that's not the end of the world.

Heck, it's not even the beginning.

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P.S.... Bud "The Serpent" Selig must go.