High on Festivals

Last weekend I attended Lollapalooza. I will have a recap of the event later this week as well as enter a nomination for the Blapshemes House Band of 2007. But first I need to speak to all of you briefly on a very serious issue I have with a great many of you that have gone to the street and music festivals this year in the Midwest.

I am among the many that believe that music and street festivals are one of life's great pleasures. I love dancing in the middle of a street in a city with my friends and drunks (often the same people). The Midwest has a great vibe for live concerts and get-togethers. The people of the corn and the people of the cheese gather at Summerfest or Lollapalooza and dance, cajole, and enjoy the few months of acceptable weather we have here. But there is always one . . .

I, like many of you, enjoy to get a little "loose" at these events. I rarely have a beer too far from my hand nor am I too far from a stage. I am a party-goer so please understand I do this to help not to nag.

Recently, I have notice a trend at outdoor events. More and more people seems to be enjoying a little weed with their festival experience. In many ways this is wise. It is hot outside and water and weed will treat you better than beer in the long run of a festival. But I do have an issue of where to do it.

In one out of every three porta-potty or restroom I have been in is like some Cheech and Chong movie. I actually saw one at Lolla that looked like it was on fire. Why? Why smoke in the porta-potty? Are you hiding something? We all know. Every one of us in line knows. The damn grasshoppers have figured it out. And now we gotta go in the cannibis steam room which is already unpleasant enough.

Look, I have news. No one (but your employer and maybe your wife) cares if you smoke weed. Keep in mind, you are at a festival. Enjoy it outside. Find a spot and spend sometime with yourself. Mellow out and continue on. I recommend smoking in the crowd at the show. I was at Summerfest this year and a poor father was changing the diapers of a young child in a bathroom that smelled like someone had just taken a shit in Snoop Doggy Dogg's unventilated basement. I am pretty sure that no one at the Roger Waters show would have minded a little extra smoke. Especially not Smoky and Coughy, my very relaxed neighbors.

I am in favor of bringing children to festivals. The more, the merrier. And have you ever seen a kid rock out to music he or she likes? Really rock out? There is nothing cooler in life than a child that is kicking it. Let 'em be. Just smoke outside. I'll tell the kids that the tobacco your smoking is bad for them. You are in charge of lyinig to the adults.