Nov 10, 2018

Never Forget





















On the 11th hour
of the 11th day
on the 11th month

They shall be remembered.

(failure to do so causes history to repeat, and more blood to spill)

Oct 10, 2018

Waffle House Index



Hurricane Michael has been upgraded to 18 Waffle House closings.

The Waffle House Index is 'kinda' used by FEMA to determine the effect of a storm and the likely scale of assistance required for disaster recovery.

The index has three levels, based on the extent of operations and service at the restaurant following a storm:

GREEN: full menu - restaurant has power and damage is limited or no damage at all.

YELLOW: limited menu - no power or only power from a generator, or food supplies may be low.

RED: the restaurant is closed - indicating severe damage or severe flooding

The joke among the first responder's is if you see a spot where the Waffle House is closed - that's where you are needed.

Sep 28, 2018

Prelude to the Main Event






































If you thought this week was a complete disaster of depravity, mudslinging, character assassinations, lies on one side of the fence and then more lies - it was a Senate hearing that sounded more like Maury Povich at a UFC weigh-in. BTW - If you believe Kavanaugh, you're with all the rapists. Maybe you are a rapist?

Kavanaugh is going to get confirmed and put on the court, even if they end up finding Polaroids of Kavanaugh and Mrs. Ford fumbling around in that bedroom in 1982. "Do you confirm or deny that's your butt cheek-"

But all of this is stale peanuts compared to what kind of spectacle and razzle-dazzle we're in for when Ruth Bader Ginsburg retires/dies on her chair. The Kavanaugh Event is a mere prelude to the Main Event.  Ruth Bader Ginsburg is 85. 

Trump has also speculated that Sonia Sotomayor could be forced into early retirement because of her Type 1 diabetes. Ruth, Sonia and all of the Democrats need to hang on until after the results of the Midterms. 

The 2018 Midterms are shaping up to be the make or break for either Donald Trump, or the Democrats. America is either going to double down on the Reality Government Show or simply water it down. A little.

Jul 12, 2018

Papa John's Big Mouth






































John Schnatter has resigned his post as Chairman of the Board of Papa John's. He has apologized for using the N-word. What did that cost him? Schnatter about 30 percent of Papa John's. As of March 12, his stake was worth $622 million, though a recent decline in the company's stock price now values it at $479 million as of the close of trading on Wednesday.

Jul 2, 2018

Lebron James To Lakers






































In a stunning defeat to Cleaveland, Lebron James reportedly signed 153.3 million dollars to play 4 years with the LA Lakers. Will his health equal his wealth? Is it a gamble or a slam dunk? Is it because of Lebron inability to finish... in the finals? What's his obsession with 23?

All these answers an more in what's bound to be another thrilling adventure in the next exciting season of the NBA.

May 29, 2018

Roseanne Fired






































ABC canceled Roseanne Barr’s revival of her show after she went bananas on Twitter. 

The star, previously known for pissing off most of the country by not singing the Star Spangled Banner correctly, apologized for calling Obama Administration adviser Valerie Jarrett a child of the “Muslim Brotherhood & Planet of the Apes.” Barr came back to Twitter about 5 minutes later to expand on her apology.

“I apologize to Valerie Jarrett and to all Americans,” Barr tweeted. “I am truly sorry for making a bad joke about her politics and her looks. I should have known better. Forgive me-my joke was in bad taste.” 

She has not tweeted anything since. Everyone (meaning I) is waiting for the President to weigh in on this one.

May 25, 2018

Solo: A Star Wars Movie






































If the Red Cup movie doesn't reference the Christmas Special, I'm not going. There are (at last count) over 22 references to the original trilogy. I can't imagine watching a cup fly around for 2 hours will make for interesting cinema... I guess the box office returns will confirm or correct my humble opinon.

Apr 29, 2018

Comedy Philosophy Question







































"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" is a long time philosophical thought experiment that raises questions regarding observation and perception.

Michelle Wolf's remarks at the 2018 White House Correspondents' Dinner raises the same question - was the 2018 Correspondence Dinner a 'roast' without the roastie in attendance?

Apr 25, 2018

San Fran Crackdown









































"Organizers from the Coalition on Homelessness SF says sweep won’t work, “you can’t make people disappear.""

I wonder if he's going to be taking that bet.

Apr 9, 2018

He Who Smelt It Dealt It

The Russian military has found no trace of chemical weapons use after searching parts of Syria’s Douma allegedly targeted by an “attack.” Photos of victims posted by the White Helmets are fake, Russia’s Defense Ministry said.

Experts in radiological, chemical and biological warfare, as well as medics, inspected the parts of the Eastern Ghouta city of Douma, where an alleged chemical attack supposedly took place on Saturday, the Russian Reconciliation Center for Syria said in a statement.

The specialists “found no traces of the use of chemical agents” after searching the sites, the statement said. The center’s medical specialists also visited a local hospital but found no patients that showed signs of chemical weapons poisoning. “All these facts show… that no chemical weapons were used in the town of Douma, as it was claimed by the White Helmets,” the statement said, referring to the controversial “civil defense” group that was among the first to report about the alleged attack.

“All the accusations brought by the White Helmets, as well as their photos… allegedly showing the victims of the chemical attack, are nothing more than a yet another piece of fake news and an attempt to disrupt the ceasefire,” the Reconciliation Center said.

Mar 21, 2018

Zuckerberg of Facebook, Shocked!








































Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook admitted his company mishandled the personal data of millions of users. He wrote on his Facebook post, [that there was a] "breach of trust between Facebook and the people who share their data with us" and - "made mistakes" on what he referred to as the "Cambridge Analytica situation."

"We have a responsibility to protect your data, and if we can't then we don't deserve to serve you. I've been working to understand exactly what happened and how to make sure this doesn't happen again," Zuckerberg wrote.

Zuckerberg and Facebook chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg have been scrambling to figure out how to spin the news that Facebook is a wing of the NSA and, apparently anyone who writes an app on their platform - especially since headlines broke over the weekend about political consulting firm Cambridge Analytica and its harvesting of 50 million Facebook users' data by making those stupid 'which character am I' profiles that gave the GOP access to all your friends data.

No one is debating that if you took one of those quizzes, you willfully gave up your right to privacy - it was that they took your Aunt Tilly's data too. 

Mar 13, 2018

Rex Tillerson Fired!








































President Donald Trump announced today that he fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson and will nominate CIA Director Mike Pompeo to succeed him, replacing his top diplomat ahead of a potential high-stakes sitdown between the US President and North Korean leader Kim Jong Un.
Tillerson's departure follows months of tension between him and Trump. Gina Haspel, the current CIA deputy director, stands to take over the agency.

Jan 28, 2018

RIP INGVAR KAMPRAD






































Ingvar Kamprad was a Swedish business magnate. He was the founder of IKEA, a multinational retail company specializing in furniture in flat boxes.

Jan 20, 2018

Mission Accomplished






































The bill to fund the federal government that looks after a 19 Trillion Dollar economy showed it's dysfunction when political infighting and posturing caused a shortfall of the required 60 votes by the deadline on Friday night.

Without delay, Trump accused the Democrats of putting politics above the interests of the American people, and the Democrats blamed him for rejecting bipartisan compromise proposals. And the Democrat insistence to staple a DACA requirement to the continued funding of the government.

Both teams claim they will keep talking, and the White House budget chief has expressed optimism that a resolution will be found before Monday.

When that doesn't happen, hundreds of thousands of federal workers face the prospect of no work and shuttered offices at the start of the working week.

The last government shutdown was in 2013, and lasted for 16 days. However, any thoughts that a shutdown will actually save taxpayers, it will, in fact, do the opposite. According to Senator Rand Paul - it actually cost taxpayers more. Here's an article, if you care.

Jan 14, 2018

The Torch Looks Dim





On the surface, it should have been a banner week for The Trump Administration. Despite unemployment being down, and Wal-Mart throwing around $1000 one-time checks to 20-year employees like Oprah (while simultaneously closing down a big pile of unprofitable Sams Clubs) -- Trump let his true colors fly at a meeting when he (allegedly) said, "Why do we want all these people from 'shithole countries' coming here?" 

I'm not totally sure why everyone is acting so surprised. I mean, other than the word SHIT being on every banner headline and on the local news. It's not the cursing that everyone's up in arms about. 

It's not that he lumped all of Africa as one single country. Although, he clearly failed geography.

Perhaps the bigger taboo is that you can bomb countries without wealth and have citizens with darker skin tones than those in Norway - and no one batts an eyelash. But you're not allowed to talk about those inequities.

Much has been written about The Donald's racist remarks. And let's all be clear, his remarks are clearly, and painfully racist. Yes, the torch dims for that reason, across the globe. But wait. There's more.

What's NOT getting any coverage, this week was The House of Representatives passed the FISA Amendments Reauthorization Act of 2017. The short version is that Congress makes it legal for the NSA to search communications that mention a given target but was not sent or received by the target.

So, in other words, gives them carte blanch to spy on Americans without a warrant. Another huge blow to the 4th Amendment and privacy.

It still has to pass the Senate and Trump... but, which headline are you busy reading?

Jan 10, 2018

Bannon Down On His Luck







































Steve Bannon, former White House chief strategist, was thrown out of Breitbart News.


He was tossed after picking a fight with The Donald. Especially after suggesting that the meeting between Donald Trump Jr., other Trump associates and a Russian lawyer in Trump Tower was “treasonous.”

“The three senior guys in the campaign thought it was a good idea to meet with a foreign government inside Trump Tower in the conference room on the 25th floor — with no lawyers,” Bannon told Michael Wolff the new book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.
“Even if you thought that this was not treasonous, or unpatriotic, or bad shit, and I happen to think it’s all of that, you should have called the FBI immediately,” Bannon added.

The fallout from Bannon’s comments was almost immediate.

Apparently, he's willing to write for food. 

Jan 5, 2018

Fire And Fury Hits Bookstands








































Michael Wolff calls Trump the, 'least credible person who has ever walked on earth' in his new book, ‘Fire and Fury.’ 

His new book that gives a behind-the-scenes account Trump's White House, said he spoke with The Donald on-record. 

Wolff, added on NBC's "Today," said that everyone he spoke to for the book, "Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House," described the president the same way. 
"I will tell you the one description that everyone gave, everyone has in common: They all say he is like a child, and what they mean by that is, he has a need for immediate gratification. It is all about him." 
Wolff added that "100 percent of the people around" Trump, "senior advisers, family members, every single one of them, questions his intelligence and fitness for office."
Don't know why they didn't stick with the original title.

Jan 2, 2018

Utah Senator Orrin Hatch Plans to Retire






































Senator Orrin G. Hatch of Utah (83), the longest-serving Senate Republican, announced on Tuesday he will retire at the end of the year. He's rebuffing Trump who pleaded with him to seek an eighth term. His leaving paves the way for Mitt Romney, a noted NeverTrumper, to run for Utah's chair.

Jan 1, 2018

Happy New Year!






































Happy New Year, fellow Blasphemers!

Resolutions for this year - to get more than three readers to follow, like and share.