As airlines consider new ways to make money from a captive audience, watch your sphincters, toilets are next?That new idea was floated by Irish airline Ryanair.
As airlines consider new ways to make money from a captive audience, watch your sphincters, toilets are next?
You know how I keep mentioning that you don't have to read "Atlas Shrugged" since you're living it?
… fluffiness comes at a price: millions of trees harvested in North America and in Latin American countries, including some percentage of trees from rare old-growth forests in Canada. Although toilet tissue can be made at similar cost from recycled material, it is the fiber taken from standing trees that help give it that plush feel, and most large manufacturers rely on them.
Customers “demand soft and comfortable,” said James Malone, a spokesman for Georgia Pacific, the maker of Quilted Northern. “Recycled fiber cannot do it.” [...]
Though most of the pulp comes from tree farms, but not all:
Although brands differ, 25 percent to 50 percent of the pulp used to make toilet paper in this country comes from tree farms in South America and the United States. The rest, environmental groups say, comes mostly from old, second-growth forests that serve as important absorbers of carbon dioxide, the main heat-trapping gas linked to global warming. In addition, some of the pulp comes from the last virgin North American forests, which are an irreplaceable habitat for a variety of endangered species, environmental groups say.
We finally found out what happened when Former Chicago Ald. Edward "Fast Eddy" Vrdolyak was sentenced. He got resurrected today to only 5 years of probation for his role in a $1.5 million kickback scheme. It was a far cry from the 3 ½ years in prison sought by federal prosecutors...
And the verdict? Oh oh...The film, directed by Zack Snyder ("300"), will test the limits of superhero movie fans. If you're not already invested in these characters because of the original graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, nothing this movie does is likely to change that predicament.
This doesn't look good...The film seems to take pride in its darkness, but this is just another failed special effect. Cinematographer Larry Fong and production designer Alex McDowell blend real and digital sets with earthen tones and secondary colors that give a sense of the past. But the stories are too absurd and acting too uneven to convince anyone. The appearances of a waxworks Nixon, Kissinger and other 1980s personalities will only bring hoots from less charitable audiences.And he says you're going to be seeing Dr. Manhattan's dong... a lot.
Looks like we have the first real flop of 2009.

How much debt can the Chinese buy anyway? No wonder Hillary back-peddled on China's human right's "issues" until she got back home.
Obama to Seek New Assault Weapons Ban"As President Obama indicated during the campaign, there are just a few gun-related changes that we would like to make, and among them would be to reinstitute the ban on the sale of assault weapons," Holder told reporters.
Holder said that the ban would not only be a positive for the United States, it would help cut down on the flow of guns into Mexico, which is struggling with heavy violence among drug cartels.
"I think that will have a positive impact in Mexico, at a minimum." Holder was speaking after arrest of more than 700 people in a drug enforcement crackdown on Mexican drug cartels operating in the U.S.
Mexican government officials (well, I guess those not on the take from the cartels?) have complained that the availability of sophisticated guns from the United States have emboldened drug traffickers to fight over access routes into the U.S.
A State Department travel warning issued Feb. 20, 2009, reflected government concerns about the violence. This is, in your Cap'n's opinion, setting up US Army incursions into our Mexican neighbor before the end of the year. That's right, I am predicting Iraqi War veterans to conduct the Mexican-American War 2.0... at the very least, an "advisory role" in the Mexican attempts to "stop the violence" from those cartels. (MORE)
As it stands today, the Mexican Army is conducting operations on their own soil fighting the cartels. It's getting very serious.
Meanwhile, in a brief interview with ABC News (in an attempt to get both sides of the gun angle to this story), Wayne LaPierre, president of the National Rifle Association, said, "I think there are a lot of Democrats on Capitol Hill cringing at Eric Holder's comments right now."
During his confirmation hearing, Holder told the Senate Judiciary Committee about other gun control measures the Obama administration may consider.

"I think closing the gun show loophole, the banning of cop-killer bullets and I also think that making the assault weapons ban permanent, would be something that would be permitted under Heller," Holder said, referring to the Supreme Court ruling in Washington, D.C. v. Heller, which asserted the Second Amendment as an individual's right to own a weapon.
For you Blasphemer's too young to remember, or those of you who just don't give a rip, The Assault Weapons Ban signed into law by President Clinton in 1994 banned 19 types of semi-automatic military-style guns and ammunition clips with more than 10 rounds. You'll also remember that Newt and the boys came in an kicked half the Democrats out of Congress... some attribute the Assault Weapons Ban as the catalyst that made it happen.
"A semi-automatic is a quintessential self-defense firearm owned by American citizens in this country," LaPierre said. "I think it is clearly covered under Heller and it's clearly, I think, protected by the Constitution."
Obama's assurance that his mortgage-relief plan will only benefit deserving homeowners is a stretch.
OBAMA: "In this budget, we will end education programs that don't work and end direct payments to large agribusinesses that don't need them. We'll eliminate the no-bid contracts that have wasted billions in Iraq, and reform our defense budget so that we're not paying for Cold War-era weapons systems we don't use. We will root out the waste, fraud and abuse in our Medicare program that doesn't make our seniors any healthier, and we will restore a sense of fairness and balance to our tax code by finally ending the tax breaks for corporations that ship our jobs overseas."
Not only did your overspending cause the recession, your underspending - Nielsen'sFeburary Economic Current predicts consumer saving rates will rise from 1.7% in 2008 to 5.1% in 2009 - is going to deepen it. America's new thrift ain't a fad, and will destroy it, like Japan, says NYT. Over there, having gone through a decade-long recession, well-off families do horrible things like use bath water to wash the laundry, hold back on flat-panel TV purchases when they know the prices are going down, and there's an overall disinterest in new cars and luxury goods. Bastards!
So spend, spend, spend like it was Spring 2008!
When Consumers Cut Back: A Lesson From Japan [NYT]
Nielsen Economic Current Debuts [Nielsen]
With the fate of Detroit, Michigan and the U.S. automotive industry now in the hands of 18 individuals... Do you wonder what they're drivin'? The Detroit News has been so kind as to rummage through public records to find out for us. I'm sure that the list bears no indication of how the members of the Presidential Task Force on the Auto Industry feel about cars - or the Big Three... or buying American.The co-chairs of the task force, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and White House National Economic Council Director Larry Summers, drive a 2008 Acura TSX and a 1995 Mazda Protégé, respectively. Geithner also previously owned a 1999 Honda Accord and a 2002 Acura MDX, public records show. Interestingly, Geithner's maternal grandfather, Charles Moore, was a vice president at Ford - but Secretary Geithner was never very interested in cars, his father said. Summers previously owned a 1996 Taurus GL.
Peter Orszag, director of the Office of Management and Budget, owns a 2008 Honda Odyssey and a 2004 Volvo S60. He previously owned a 1997 Jeep Grand Cherokee and a 1982 Datsun.
Carol Browner, the White House climate expert, said at the Washington Auto Show earlier this year that she does not own an automobile. According to public records, she once drove a 1995 Saab 9-5 SE.
Energy Secretary Steven Chu also doesn't own a car, according to his wife, Jean Fetter.
EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson owns a 2008 Toyota Prius and a Honda Odyssey.
No vehicle information was available for transportation Secretary Ray LaHood or Christine Romer, head of the Council of Economic Advisers. I'm sure that someone is still looking into that. He represented Peoria, IL - so it's possible he just drove a Caterpillar tractor. Well, his chauffeur drove it. He sat in the cab.
Not stopping just at the heads - the Detroit News also looked at records for the ten policy aides that are assigned to the task force. Among the current vehicles owned by the aides are a 2004 Toyota Highlander, a 2008 Lexus RX 350, a Volvo C30, a 1991 Harley-Davidson, a 1998 Subaru Legacy Outback, a 2003 Mini Cooper S, and a 2005 Honda Odyssey. One aide drives a 2003 Lincoln LS, and one a 1998 Cavalier. One of the aides doesn't own a vehicle.
In summary, there are only three members of the board that drive cars built by one of the Big Three - one of whom owns a 1998 Chevrolet Cavalier - and three members who don't own automobiles at all. As there seems to be little familiarity with the automotive world on this task force, we hope these guys and gals have some serious business and economic savvy.
Source: The Detroit News
But in a book written from inside an Egyptian prison, he has launched a frontal attack on al-Qaeda's ideology and the personal failings of bin Laden and particularly his Egyptian deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri.
Twenty years ago, Dr Fadl became al-Qaeda's intellectual figurehead with a crucial book setting out the rationale for global jihad against the West.
Today, however, he believes the murder of innocent people is both contrary to Islam and a strategic error. "Every drop of blood that was shed or is being shed in Afghanistan and Iraq is the responsibility of bin Laden and Zawahiri and their followers," writes Dr Fadl.
The terrorist attacks on September 11 were both immoral and counterproductive, he writes. "Ramming America has become the shortest road to fame and leadership among the Arabs and Muslims. But what good is it if you destroy one of your enemy's buildings, and he destroys one of your countries? What good is it if you kill one of his people, and he kills a thousand of yours?" asks Dr Fadl. "That, in short, is my evaluation of 9/11."
He is equally unsparing about Muslims who move to the West and then take up terrorism. "If they gave you permission to enter their homes and live with them, and if they gave you security for yourself and your money, and if they gave you the opportunity to work or study, or they granted you political asylum," writes Dr Fadl, then it is "not honourable" to "betray them, through killing and destruction".
In particular, Dr Fadl focuses his attack on Zawahiri, a key figure in al-Qaeda's core leadership and a fellow Egyptian whom he has known for 40 years. Zawahiri is a "liar" who was paid by Sudan's intelligence service to organise terrorist attacks in Egypt in the 1990s, he writes.
I have often suggested that those in Al-Qaeda never picked up a history book, and have always underestimated the American ability to "over react" to foreign aggression, i.e. no one asked a Japanese person how that worked out for them. And even if you win or stalemate (Vietnam and North Korea) how well your country comes out of it. No, you're much better off letting the Americans blow you to hell, declare victory, and let the US rebuild your country for you. We love doing that.
This story is interesting to me because, I had to read this story in an English newspaper, and two, ole' Doc Fadl has just echoed what I've said since Sept 11, 2001. Too bad it took him this long to figure it out.
... and if you're worried he wrote this because he had an AK-47 trained at his gut, while it is possible, it's unlikely he would have typed 200 pages, and made it so personal.
I love it when my foodstuffs and religious icons merge into one simple place of worship. As opposed to overpasses.

The Obama Administration wants to require all cars and trucks to be equipped with global satellite positioning technology, a transponder, a clock and other equipment to record how many miles a vehicle was driven.
To quote Walter Sobchak: "Has the whole world gone crazy?"
Sounding more like Barry Goldwater than the former head of the Communist KGB, Putin said, “Nor should we turn a blind eye to the fact that the spirit of free enterprise, including the principle of personal responsibility of businesspeople, investors, and shareholders for their decisions, is being eroded in the last few months. There is no reason to believe that we can achieve better results by shifting responsibility onto the state.”
Sounding more like Ron Paul, Putin added, “we must assess the real situation and write off all hopeless debts and ‘bad’ assets. True, this will be an extremely painful and unpleasant process. Far from everyone can accept such measures, fearing for their capitalization, bonuses, or reputation. However, we would ‘conserve’ and prolong the crisis, unless we clean up our balance sheets.”
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened.”Tricky part about that is the few of us who do know.- Norman Thomas,
-American socialist
The other side of the canyon, is the ideology known as Socialism. Despite countless historical examples that prove the long-term failure - it keeps coming up as the great equalizer. Socialism’s philosophy relies on government to distribute wealth by taking from the “producers” and giving to the “non-producers”… in a sense, it gives people something they didn’t work for… it gives the populace handouts at the expense of the working class. Socialism’s ideals are fueled by the politics of class envy that just because one group of people shouldn’t be penalized for not having the wherewithal to work harder or produce more than others. It is fueled by the philosophy of “fairness” when ‘fair’ actually means the ‘excess’ wealth of the ‘rich’ should be taken by force and given to the ‘poor’ because it’s not ‘fair’ that some have more than others, even when those some worked twice as hard for it. Under socialism, the worker is not rewarded for their labor - although most of the propaganda celebrates the worker and showers them with praise.
An example? Okay, take a classroom. After giving a test, the teacher gives the entire classroom a C-. It takes the achievement out of those A+ students who studied harder (or cheated better) to the hillbilly in the last row who is pre-verbal a passing grade. Everyone isn't elevated, it brings everyone down to same level. The least common denominator. In the classroom example, there's no reward for having worked harder, so eventually, there will be no incentive to work at all."Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness."These three aspects are listed among the "inalienable rights" of man. Note it is not the government mandated guarantee of happiness.-Thomas Jefferson
-The United States Declaration of Independence
Hey gang, PepsiCo is going to manufacture "throwback" Pepsi and Mountain Dew sodas made with real sugar instead of high-fructose corn syrup, beginning in mid-April!
According to Trading Markets.com: "In January 2008, a new market was opened to the U.S. sugar industry.Hey - I'd just like to pretend that I'm making a difference around here. And as excited I am about having a Mexican Coke just the other day, drinking a sugar Pepsi or a Kosher Coke - It pops into my head - it's still just fizzy sugar water. Should it have HFCS or cane sugar... if you drink too much of it, it's still not good for you.
Tariffs on sugar transferred across the U.S./Mexican border were abolished, making it cheaper to import and export sugar.
It essentially "dropped all limits on how much sugar Mexico could sell in the U.S.," Roney said. "Mexico has no constraint on how much sugar they can produce and sell on the U.S. market.
"It's been a big factor in how low the sugar price has been."
The mixup came when the prosecution attempted to tie several .torrent files to the Pirate Bay's tracking servers, which called for Bay co-founder Fredrik Neij to point out that, hey, that's not quite how it works. All of that evidence linking actual torrents to the Pirate Bay has now been thrown out, leaving only the charges related to "assisting in making available" copyrighted works.
The prosecution is shrugging this off, saying that it in fact "simplifies the prosecutor's case by allowing him to focus on the main issue, which is the making available of copyrighted works." Of course the defense is taking quite the opposite stance: On Twitter, the message from Bay honcho Peter Sunde is, appropriately, this: EPIC WINNING LOL.
We'll be following more news from the 13-day trial as it hits.
Oh HAPPY DAY!
which centered on half assed adventure parody and supervillain archetypes slathered in compulsively nerdy dialogue. Much like the Tick. But they took it further and built a rich, self-mocking universe around super-scientist Dr. Rusty Venture, his twin idiot sons Hank and Dean, and their butterfly-costumed nemesis the Monarch. What makes their show different than the typical stoner fare found on Adult Swim is that Publick and Hammer work their plot tangents into a larger story, all while testing the tempers, moral flexibility, and bantering talents of venal heroes and bureaucratically regulated villains. The show's third season throws further shocks into the larger story they're telling.
I mean - look at this box art!

Folks, the GI Joe movie has been showing signs of total and complete suck for months now. Pretty much ever since they decided that it's going to be an international task force....
Meanwhile, all research on the subject - because for some reason Blasphemes readers really enjoy GI Joe movie updates - everyone involved, from the Director, to the writer, to the art director have zero knowledge of the property before they were hired. Look, that's probably okay. Most Star Wars kids grew out of their toys before GI Joe really got big. But no one involved seems to know what this is about. GI Joe has been around since the 60's. There was a comic, a fairly rich toy history, and a half hour ad/cartoon that ran most of the 80's. Zero knowledge?
Guys, this isn't hard - he's supposed to look like this or this:

Let's face it - Cobra Commander was a meglo-maniac with an inexhaustible trust fund for MASS Devices, a weather dominators, and flying aircraft carrier bases (even at 1985's prices, I can't imagine what it would have cost just to fuel that thing) and a retirement pension fund for henchmen that must rival the UAW especially since no one ever died - but say what you will about the guy - his style was pretty awesome. So why mess with that?
Well, look at that. It's almost been a month whole month without George. Looks like it's time...Blasphemes Presents:
Obama's First Month:
A Recap
Rod Blagojevich's corrupt attempts to pawn Obama's Senate seat [so far] hasn't directly involved Obama. But they did remind everyone that Obama and his chief of staff, ex-ballerina and ex-Arby's employee Rahm Emanuel, are Chicago Machine politicians.
Bill Richardson withdrew from consideration for the job of Commerce Secretary after a financial scandal in New Mexico erupted. One would have though this might have come up somewhere between the start of his own campaign for President and Obama's vetting process?
Then, speechwriter Jon Favreau groped a cardboard cutout of Hillary Clinton, [tell me that wasn't money] raising questions about taking photographs of important people at house parties (Michael Phelps? Hey, dumb ass - I'm looking right at you... what'r you stoned!?)
Then it turned out he was dating Ali Campoverdi, a Maxim model turned White House assistant. Maybe she liked his technique?
And speaking of Hillary... she's our new Secretary of State! That's proof she really DID have enough votes to give Obama that DNC Convention battle in Denver. It was probably a better idea to send her out of town for four years than to make her Veep. I'm sure The Clinton Foundation's accountant will be happy.The Attorney General Eric Holder turned out to be the one who gave the nod for Bill Clinton's pardon to financier Marc Rich. And Holder's law firm represents seventeen Gitmo Terrorists... which is now closed. No, it's just a coincidence.
Then we found out that Obama's choice to run the IRS is a tax cheat. Tim Geithner didn't pay his taxes. They appointed him Treasury Secretary anyway. Well, who better to catch the cheats than a cheat himself, right?
Then it was revealed that poor old Tom Daschle, who was up for Secretary of Health and Human Services had hadn't paid nearly $140,000 for a car and driver a lobbyist had lent him after he left office.
The reason Daschle and Killefer really had to go? They both had tax problems; meaning they didn't have a problem not paying them. More importantly, they briefly pulled the carefully constructed Change curtain open... just for a second... and it accidentally reminded us, the unwashed public, exactly how the elite Washington insiders actually run the Circus. No one wants to see the mirrors and wires of hypocrisy.
Oh, and back to the White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel. Rahm's Capitol Hill basement apartment (rented to him by Connecticut Rep. Rosa DeLauro and pollster Stanley Greenberg) turned out to be an illegal rental unit. Honestly, Rahm? You're from Chicago - if you're going to break the law - it's supposed to pay off way better than that! Also, keep an eye on Rahm to be heavily mentioned and or invited to participate in the Rod Blagojevich criminal trial.
Obama closed down Gitmo - even though there's no plan on what to do with these people. But as long as their Constitutional rights aren't violated, we'll all feel better about it, right? What do you mean they don't have Constitutional rights? They're American citizens, aren't they?!
Obama put caps in White House salaries, and yelled at CEO's who gave themselves bonuses for asking - and then getting - no-strings-attached handouts. Then he made a rule that said "no lobbyists," but hired 17 of them, including Wil Lynn.
Oh, and the other big news was that Obama bought everyone a pony. Well, a pony as long as you're a Congressional Democrat. Yes, Obama's stimulus barrel passed, or as I like to call it the 2010 Congressional Incumbent Strategy Package. Bonus, he got it done without the help of any of those pesky corrupt Republicans. How are we going to pay for it? How exactly does this create jobs independent of government spending? And doesn't that America First clause violate about 130 trade treaties? Hey, don't ask questions or they'll send you to Gitm- well, you won't get your $40 coupon to switch to digital television this week- next week- June 15th. July 18th... gate 19, gate 20.And to think, there was a time when late-night comedians fretted that there wasn't anything funny about the Obama Administration? It's not even been a FULL month!