Iran... Iran so far away...

Al-Qaeda has accused Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of spreading "conspiracy theories" about the 9/11 attacks in 2001. 

Inspire, an al-Qaeda-linked online magazine, described Mr Ahmadinejad's controversial speech to the United Nations last week as "ridiculous". The Iranian leader said he believed the World Trade Center towers could not have been brought down by aircraft.

The article said such a belief "stands in the face of all logic and evidence". Entitled "Iran and the Conspiracy Theories", the Inspire article said Iran used the theory "as a rallying call for the millions of Muslims around the world who despise America". Iran "is a collaborator with the US when it suits it" nonetheless, the Yemen-based author said.

 There have been sharp sectarian tensions between mainly Shia Iran and Sunni Muslim al-Qaeda - although are both fiercely opposed to US influence. Yeah, they're jealous. This is only slightly less hillarious because, yeah, you guessed it -- The Onion already did it.
9/11 Conspiracy Theories 'Ridiculous,' Al Qaeda Says

And speaking of funny... and I guess this really should be titled "Iran not-so Far Away" : Iran’s Navy says it will establish a presence near US borders “the same way that the world arrogant power” has a presence near Iran.

Now, before you fall on the floor laughing at this absurd comment... MockMood and Chavez are good pals. And who says we're not teeing up for a Venezuela-styled Cuban Missile Crisis? Hey gang! Let's get ready for 6 shooting wars!

Cupcake Buh-Bomb

The British Secret Intelligence Service (MI6) were able to hack an al-Qaeda website showing followers how to make homemade bombs, and replaced the instructions with recipes for "The Best Cupcakes in America". I'm a sucker for red velvet!

When followers tried to download the 67-page colour magazine, instead of instructions about how to "Make a bomb in the Kitchen of your Mom" by "The AQ Chef" they were greeted with garbled computer code.

The code, which had been inserted into the original magazine by the British intelligence hackers, was actually a web page of recipes for "The Best Cupcakes in America" published by the Ellen DeGeneres chat show.

It included a recipe for the Mojito Cupcake - "made of white rum cake and draped in vanilla buttercream"- and the Rocky Road Cupcake - "warning: sugar rush ahead!"

Be honest -- who else is craving cupcakes now?

It's Official

Al Qaeda confirmed the death of Osama bin Laden in an Internet message that vowed revenge on the United States and its allies, including Pakistan, according to a statement issued by the Islamist militant group.

-- Now here's the gag, they were kind of in a bind.... They were going to have to confirm or deny Bin Laden’s death. If they’re to have credibility among the faithful who follow their jihad, they must identify a new fearless leader. If they are to call for revenge, they must admit to the reason for that rabid outcry.

Al Qaeda confirmed the death of its leader as a historic moment, and vowed not to deviate from the path of armed struggle.

"In a historic day for the great Islamic nation... the mujahid (holy warrior) Shiekh Abu Abdullah, Osama bin Mohammed bin Laden, God have mercy on him, was killed on the path taken by those before him and will be taken by others after him."

"Congratulations to the Islamic umma (community) for the martyrdom of its son Osama."

The global militant group, which said it will soon release an audio tape made by its leader a week before he died, vowed not to deviate from the path of armed struggle and said bin Laden's blood "is more precious to us and to every Muslim than to be wasted in vain."

"It will remain, with permission from God Almighty, a curse that hunts the Americans and their collaborators and chase them outside and inside their country," the militant network said in a statement released on Islamist Internet forums.

"Their happiness will turn into sorrow, and their blood will be mixed with their tears," al Qaeda said.

"We call upon our Muslim people in Pakistan, on whose land Sheikh Osama was killed, to rise up and revolt to cleanse this shame that has been attached to them by a clique of traitors and thieves ... and in general to cleanse their country from the filth of the Americans who spread corruption in it."

The al Qaeda statement also urged the United States to treat the bodies of Osama bin Laden and those killed with him in the raid with care, and to return their bodies. Ooops. Hold on, I'll get a net.

"We warn the Americans not to harm the corpse of the sheikh or expose it to any indecent treatment or to harm any members of his family, living or dead, and to deliver the corpses to their families," it said. So, the sailors shouldn't have wrapped it in bacon? Was that wrong?

"Any harm done will open the doors of evil upon you doubly, and you will not have anyone but yourselves to blame." Yes, that statement is true, and goes triple for you.

Response to The Big Win

I'm just not feeling it.

Sorry gang. The blood lust. The 'Big Win'. I got nothin'.

I'm refusing to feel the way I'm told that I am supposed to feel about the US's actions in the most recent of recent events.

In the morning I see headlines that Quadaffy's son and grandchildren were killed by a NATO airstrike. That was Sunday morning. Later that night, Osama Bin Laden's death is announced to the nation.

"A good day for America," was proclaimed. By the President of the United States, no less.

Teenagers converge upon the White House and the cemetery of the former World Trade Center to celebrate. Cameras pop up their microwave antennas to make a spectacle of the gathering. Chants of "USA" and impromptu singing of "God Bless America" are recorded for the world audience. At best, the home team won the football game. Gloating to the world at their prowess. At worst, the LA Lakers won another ring and LA is in flames, again.

But I don't feel good about this one.

Yes, Bin Laden was a bad man. A very, deeply bad man who used religion and blood to support his own financial and political goals. He is responsible for killing and supporting killers directly and indirectly. His death should bring the end of a bookcase of the last three decades of Middle Eastern conflict. Starting with Afghanistan and the Soviet Invasion, and ending with the Americans and Afghanistan. He was a major player in both.

But I'm not going to write a history of the man, nor make any apologies for him.

He was a bad, bad man. To quote Jack Nicholson's Joker to a burnt corpse, "I'm glad you're dead!"

Here's the thing that's bugging me. Gnawing at my gut. He was killed by an Assault squad. This just doesn't add up in the history of these sort of things.

The narrative for the death of American-bad guys, and especially the end of their most notorious Bond-Villain State Enemies, doesn't seem to fit the mold.
Hitler had the decency to spare us the trial and offed himself. He even did it twice, one with a bullet, the other with a pill -- so we've been told. Mussolini was hung by a mob. Saddam was hung after being tried. Slobodan Milošević , Pol Pot, and Stalin all died of old age. The ending for Castro and Quadaffy haven't been written -- yet.

But the video game imagined sequence of the SEAL team dropping into Osama's Waco inspired compound just seems so... too... 21st Century? It doesn't seem complete, or final. Not just yet. There's the nagging element of violence begetting violence - that begets only more violence, compounding into a death spiral. It's a cycle that tends to keep repeating itself like a scene on a scratched Netflix DVD -- especially when religion is involved. Perhaps I'd feel a little more relieved had he been put on trial in the Hague and finally executed after a lengthy 10 year show trial -- had he lived that long. Maybe people would be arguing that the Assaulters should have popped him when they had the chance and saved everyone a lot of trouble? Maybe? These tend to be the same folks who think we should have nuked his compound. It seems like a big show trial is more in the USA's narrative. At least, that's how it used to be.

And the other thing - and maybe this is something I have to get over - is that the West isn't playing chess or WWII anymore. If you off the boss your $60 Xbox game, the game is over. You Won. You now may deflower the virginal princess. Not anymore. You've got 10 or 12 other, smaller side games going on now. Yemen, Newborn Iraq, the Philippines, German sleeper cells, Pakistan double agents, and Nuclear North Korea and Iran all are all still in play. And all are much more dangerous.

On the bright, sweet, and dripping ironic side of it all, the American team takes out Osama exactly three months after he deemed irrelevant by the Arab Spring. The people of Egypt, Tunisia, Libya (maybe), Jordan, Bahrain, Syria, and Yemen all rose up -- not using Al Queda's example of the gun and the C-4 martyrdom -- but a much simpler device, their phones.

Facebook, Twitter and strong will stood up to oppression and finally brought the much desired revolution. Social media, not guns. “If protest movements access significant numbers of people, for any opposition event, they can somewhat confidently act on their political motivations and challenge the state.” [Mary Bottari The Day Egypt Disappeared PRWatch. Feb 14, 2011] Hey, will someone text that to Hamas?

Hell, take the idea that Google Executive Wael Ghonim's Facebook page “We are All Khalid Said” after an Egyptian Activist was killed by the police, organized over 100,000 people to protest on Egypt’s Police Day. How many people were ever in Osama's friend page? Who had better results?

Isn't it poetic that after the last decade, Al Queda means, "The List?"

Maybe the world will be a little more optimistic now that he's gone. Maybe it's a little safer? We can hope. And that can be very powerful. Maybe that's what I need to focus on?

Maybe it's what we all need to focus on?

Maybe we can start discussing dismantling the illegal wiretaps and 24/7 surveillance of American citizens? Maybe we can discuss drawing down the intrusive and unconstitutional TSA at our nations airports before we expand them? And those are just the items related to Osama and his gang. Perhaps we can stop exporting violence, and instead export a little more hope?

The Man Who Saved ObamaTown

The parcel bomb that contained the high explosive PETN. Photo: AFP

Meet the Saudi Spy Who Saved Chicago

Al-Qaeda had a simple but deadly plan for the eve of the 2010 American elections. Two parcel bombs would explode in the cargo holds of two cargo aircraft descending into Chicago on the eve of the elections, demonstrating the terror group could still disrupt the international airline business and strike the American homeland in what al-Qaeda called “Obama’s city.” What al-Qaeda did not count on was a defector, a Saudi, who revealed the details of the plot to the Saudi intelligence services, who in turn passed the information to the Americans and other countries so the bombs could be stopped in England and Dubai before getting into the United States.

Read more ....

Please note - our collective luck is going to run out one of these days.

Terrorist Hero

Whether someone other than Army Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan had a guiding hand in an attack that killed 13 soldiers at Fort Hood in Texas last year remains an open question, as military proceedings against Hasan get under way in Texas.

But that's not stopping AlQa-Duh from turning him into a superhero - worthy of emulation. While not 9/11 in spectacle - it served its purpose - to terrify. Al Qaeda spokesman.

"Hasan has become almost everything they've been hoping … he's legendary now within their movement," says Jarret Brachman, an expert on international terrorist groups and author of "Global Jihadism: Theory and Practice."

Read more....

PS - the Pentagon shooting yesterday was listed as "nothing", just a "random incident" by a guy with mental illness and a gun. Read more on that one...

Maybe we should let our soldiers carry weapons or something so they can shoot back?

Al Qaeda Is Racist

Mr. Obama disparaged al Qaeda and affiliated groups' willingness to kill Africans in a manner that White House aides say was an argument that the terrorist groups are racist.

Speaking about the Uganda bombings, the president said, "What you've seen in some of the statements that have been made by these terrorist organizations is that they do not regard African life as valuable in and of itself. They see it as a potential place where you can carry out ideological battles that kill innocents without regard to long-term consequences for their short-term tactical gains."

Earlier today a senior administration official said the Obama administration believes that Al Shabaab carried out the attack.

Explaining the president's comment, an administration official said Mr. Obama "references the fact that both U.S. intelligence and past al Qaeda actions make clear that al Qaeda -- and the groups like al Shabaab that they inspire -- do not value African life. The actions of al Qaeda and the groups that it has inspired show a willingness to sacrifice innocent African life to reach their targets."

This can be seen, the official said, in the 1998 bombings of U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania, when hundreds of Africans were killed and thousands wounded.

"Additionally, U.S. intelligence has indicated that al Qaeda leadership specifically targets and recruits black Africans to become suicide bombers because they believe that poor economic and social conditions make them more susceptible to recruitment than Arabs," the official said. "Al Qaeda recruits have said that al Qaeda is racist against black members from West Africa because they are only used in lower level operations."

"In short," the official said, "al Qaeda is a racist organization that treats black Africans like cannon fodder and does not value human life."

The president also said in the interview that "it was so tragic and ironic to see an explosion like this take place when people in Africa were celebrating and watching the World Cup take place in South Africa. On the one hand, you have a vision of an Africa on the move, an Africa that is unified, an Africa that is modernizing and creating opportunities; and on the other hand, you've got a vision of al Qaeda and Al Shabaab that is about destruction and death.

"And I think it presents a pretty clear contrast in terms of the future that most Africans want for themselves and their children," Mr. Obama said. "And we need to make sure that we are doing everything we can to support those who want to build, as opposed to want to destroy."

Wow. Wait until he finds out that AlQ-duh's stance on gay marriage? (PSssst - they're against it)

Look, I understand that this was a tailored message, but, but... when is Mr. Obama going to realize that the terrorists aren't a political group that simply disagrees with his policies?

Well, maybe now if he treats AlKayDuh like the Klan or the Tea Party (there's not a distinction in his Cabinet's mind) perhaps he'll take the safety off and take care of business? No, he'll just have Jessie Jackson demand some Affirmative Action in the AlKayDuh HR department.

'Half' of Al Qaeda

Rahm Emanuel: Half Of Al Qaeda 'Eliminated' -- ABC News

One of the missed parts that was casually dropped by White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel said on 'This Week' was "About “a half of al Qaeda has been eliminated in this last 18 months”

Discussing the war in Afghanistan – which recently became America’s longest – with host Jake Tapper, Emanuel was bullish on the progress that has been made in war-torn country and insisted that President Obama’s July 2011 deadline for the beginning of a drawdown of troops was “not moving.”

Read more ....

Yes, but for every Al Qaeda #2 and random soldier killed .... there are scores who are willing to take their place. The White House's confidence that the enemy is losing is a bit premature .... in fact .... Al Qaeda has just publicized their peace terms with the U.S. as well as threatening new attacks.

Hmmmm .... they don't sound vanquished to me, Rahm.

Thanks War News Update

New Security Measures

For Airline Passengers, Pat-Downs, Searches and Restroom Monitors.

The next step will just be complete nudity.

The T.S.A. issued an update on its Web site Sunday that said passengers would be subject to greater security, but its information was not as detailed as the memorandums sent by the agency to airlines this weekend. The airlines said the new T.S.A. measures required an additional round of searches, including body pat-downs at airport gates overseas.

International travelers were also told that they could not leave their seats for the last hour of a flight, during which time they also could not use a pillow or blanket. They were also limited to one piece of carry-on baggage, including a purse or briefcase, and that piece had to be stowed in an overhead compartment for the last hour of a flight.

Airlines were ordered to turn off in-flight entertainment systems with maps showing a plane’s location, and pilots and flight crews were told not to make comments about cities or landmarks below the flight path.

All I can say is, thanks Al Qaeda - you've taken an already abysmal practice which is airline travel, and have found a way to make it even more despicable. Frankly, if there were any politicians looking to find a way to keep funding and troops in Afghanistan - all they would have to say is, "Hey, anybody here been on a plane lately? Let's go kill those sons-abitches!" That politician would have instant votes.

Al Qaeda is Trying to Blow Up the World!

Police has arrested a 32-yo physicist at CERN's Large Hadron Collider, linking him to an Al Qaeda terrorist group. Just great. As if we didn't have enough with the morons predicting Apocalypse and the thing failing on its own.

According to French newspaper Le Figaro, judicial sources point that the man—who has been working as a particle physics contractor since 2003—has links to Al Qaeda groups in the Islamic Maghreb. Le Figaro said that he had suggested terrorist targets in French soil. There's word if the target list also included the LHC, however.

In a public statement, CERN was quick to remember that the LHC is peaceful, and no gain can be obtained from it by any terrorist:

None of our research has potential for military application, and all our results are published openly in the public domain.

Indeed. Let CERN work alone in peace and fix the LHC while the rest of us don't do our homework.

Former Bradley Student from Peoria IL Al Qaeda Agent pleads GUILTY in Aiding Sept. 11 Attackers

A former Bradley University student pleaded guilty in Peoria federal court today to conspiring with, and providing support for, Al Qaeda operatives in the months before and after the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001.

Ali al-Marri, 43, (seen in this picture in his super secret spy outfit that allowed him to just blend right in Midwestern town of Peoria IL - I mean look at that Mullet!) spoke softly and occasionally smiled as U.S. District Judge Michael Mihm read aloud a timeline of criminal activity that included meetings with two key architects of the terrorist attacks, participating in terrorist training camps in Pakistan and researching cyanide compounds and other chemical agents purportedly for an attack on U.S soil.

"Ali al-Marri today admitted that he came here, to Peoria, Illinois, as an Al Qaeda operative the day before the Sept. 11 attacks to plan and prepare for future acts of terrorism within the United States," said Jeffrey Lang, acting U.S. Attorney for the central district of Illinois.

Appearing in khaki pants, a plain white shirt and white kufi hat, the bearded al-Marri admitted to having associations with both Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the alleged mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, and Mustafa al-Hawsawi, chief financier of the attacks, prior to arriving in the U.S. on Sept. 10, 2001 after obtaining a student visa from Bradley University.

While training at several terrorist camps in Pakistan, al-Marri admitted he became an expert with military weapons, learned to conceal his identity online and used his computer to research chemical agents that could be used in an attack.

U.S. attorneys culled from al-Marri's laptop computer research on various cyanide compounds, their toxicity levels and where they could be bought.

Al-Marri also admitted to exploring uses from sulfuric acid. And while it's not certain whether al-Marri planned to use these chemicals, U.S. agents also recovered from his house an almanac with pages book-marked showing U.S. bridges, roads and waterways.

A native of Qatar and a father of five, al-Marri was living in Peoria on a student visa when he was arrested.

He was initially charged in federal court and then suddenly shifted over to military custody and then held for years without charges.

Al-Marri is being held at the Federal Correctional Institution in Pekin, Ill. His attorneys are seeking to have him serve his imprisonment in his native Qatar.

Tribune staff reporters Josh Meyer and David G. Savage contributed to this report from Washington.

Al-Marri is being held at the Federal Correctional Institution in Pekin, Ill. His attorneys are seeking to have him serve his imprisonment in his native Qatar.

- No doubt this story isn't even started. Again, the Obama Administration walks the tightrope of getting Al-Marri out of military custody - but will try him in the civilian courts. Obviously the political and National Security issues conflict here.

Why Al-Marri isn't being hung NOW - and I mean RIGHT NOW for admission of treason and for crimes against humanity are unclear.

Pakistan's Nuclear Threat?

So, uh, is anyone concerned that the Taliban has taken a town about 70 miles from the capital, Islamabad? The Taliban have taken the Burner district, where Shari’a law or strict Islamic law has been implemented? Anyone concerned about that?

Reports are coming in that armed militants are patrolling the streets. Pakistani television stations aired footage of Taliban soldiers looting government offices and capturing vehicles belonging to aid organizations. The police say residents are nowhere to be seen.

Uh, anyone care that the State of Pakistan is within a good march of falling?

And, just a quick reminder to toss out there – Pakistan is a nuclear state. Yeah, sorry. Had to toss that out there. Anyone looking into this?

Oh, I know I shouldn't fear anything – someone asked Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman Admiral Mike Mullen last year. He said, "I'm very comfortable that the nuclear weapons in Pakistan are secure," he said flatly.

But when someone asked the same question earlier this month, his answer had changed. "I'm reasonably comfortable that the nuclear weapons are secure."

Hmmm… see what he did there? He switched "very" to "reasonably"?

There’s a guess that Pakistan ‘might’ have about 100 weapons, give or take an egg carton here and there.

Oh, sure the detonators are kept in one place, and the warheads are in another… and the missiles are in a third location. Which, to me feels, about as secure as the fifty year old levies holding the water out of New Orleans. Which is below sea level. And there's a hurricane about 70 miles away.

Just wondering if there’s ANY one who’s keeping tabs on this – vs. watching Jack Black in drag sing a karaoke singing contest?

Blame For All the Blood Spilled in Iraq and Afghanistan

Al-Qaeda founder launches fierce attack on Osama bin Laden.

One of al-Qaeda's founding leaders, Dr Fadl, has begun an ideological revolt against Osama bin Laden, blaming him for "every drop" of blood spilt in Afghanistan and Iraq. (original)

By David Blair in Cairo 
Last Updated: 10:36PM GMT 20 Feb 2009

Sayyid Imam al-Sharif: The terrorist attacks on September 11 were both immoral and counterproductive, he writes

Sayyid Imam al-Sharif, AKA Dr Fadl, helped bin Laden create al-Qaeda and then led an Islamist insurgency in Egypt in the 1990s.

But in a book written from inside an Egyptian prison, he has launched a frontal attack on al-Qaeda's ideology and the personal failings of bin Laden and particularly his Egyptian deputy, Ayman al-Zawahiri.

Twenty years ago, Dr Fadl became al-Qaeda's intellectual figurehead with a crucial book setting out the rationale for global jihad against the West.

Today, however, he believes the murder of innocent people is both contrary to Islam and a strategic error. "Every drop of blood that was shed or is being shed in Afghanistan and Iraq is the responsibility of bin Laden and Zawahiri and their followers," writes Dr Fadl.

The terrorist attacks on September 11 were both immoral and counterproductive, he writes. "Ramming America has become the shortest road to fame and leadership among the Arabs and Muslims. But what good is it if you destroy one of your enemy's buildings, and he destroys one of your countries? What good is it if you kill one of his people, and he kills a thousand of yours?" asks Dr Fadl. "That, in short, is my evaluation of 9/11."

He is equally unsparing about Muslims who move to the West and then take up terrorism. "If they gave you permission to enter their homes and live with them, and if they gave you security for yourself and your money, and if they gave you the opportunity to work or study, or they granted you political asylum," writes Dr Fadl, then it is "not honourable" to "betray them, through killing and destruction".

In particular, Dr Fadl focuses his attack on Zawahiri, a key figure in al-Qaeda's core leadership and a fellow Egyptian whom he has known for 40 years. Zawahiri is a "liar" who was paid by Sudan's intelligence service to organise terrorist attacks in Egypt in the 1990s, he writes.

I have often suggested that those in Al-Qaeda never picked up a history book, and have always underestimated the American ability to "over react" to foreign aggression, i.e. no one asked a Japanese person how that worked out for them. And even if you win or stalemate (Vietnam and North Korea) how well your country comes out of it. No, you're much better off letting the Americans blow you to hell, declare victory, and let the US rebuild your country for you. We love doing that. 

This story is interesting to me because, I had to read this story in an English newspaper, and two, ole' Doc Fadl has just echoed what I've said since Sept 11, 2001. Too bad it took him this long to figure it out. 

... and if you're worried he wrote this because he had an AK-47 trained at his gut, while it is possible, it's unlikely he would have typed 200 pages, and made it so personal.