Damien V : The indictment

A federal grand jury has indicted two-time presidential candidate John Edwards. Six counts, including conspiracy, issuing false statements, and violating campaign contribution laws. If convicted on all counts, the former North Carolina senator would face up to 30 years in prison and a maximum fine of $1.5 million.

Quote of the Day

"In fact, while it's possible that before Hunter started speaking on her own behalf, I might have entertained the notion that she was a slightly dopey lady who fell hard for a bad man who was running for president and got caught in a very unfortunate saga, I now feel quite confident that in fact she is a borderline simpleton, fame-seeking narcissist whose self-interested grab for attention is likely doing further permanent damage to the Edwards family, including her daughter and her siblings. If her appearance on the Oprah show seemed like an unjust setup, then Hunter proved that, every once in a while, someone so amply meets all expectations for awfulness that it's impossible to muster anything other than loathing for them."

-- Rebecca Traister, in her piece on Oprah's interview with estate wrecker and new-age super genius Rielle Hunter in today's Salon

Remember my fellow Democrats - John Edwards is your Sarah Palin.

Thanks Chez

Ivory Coast Story

Here's some SPAM I just got. This seems new - religious SPAM.
All the glory of misspellings and poor grammar left in tact for your reading pleasures. My comments in brackets and bold.

"Dear Respected one [Uh, you obviously have no idea who I am, and I've never ever been called that...]

And may the peace of Our gracious God Jesus Christ be with you And All Your Intire Familys,
[My entire family and my mistress's family? I'm not John Edwards, or a Mormon.]

Please I have a problem which I realy need your urgent help i realy belive that our allmithy God Jesus Christ who directed me to you can not lair to me [I really believe in spell check, but you're right, I can't liar you.]

however is not mandatory nor will I in any manner compel you I am JANET MOLO i am 18 years old girl and the only daughter of my late parents Mr. and Mrs.JOHN MOLO.
[where do I begin with this sentence? The beginning isn't even a sentence, let alone a complete thought. I don't even understand what you're asking here. I know that it's a run on sentence. And why are the names ALL CAPS? But what are you trying to ask?]

My father was a highly reputable business man (a coacoa merchant) [what is a coacoa? Is that a plant or a drug? I really need to know. There's a difference, especially to Christians.] he operated in the capital city of Ivory coast during his days. [The government officially discourages the use of the name Ivory Coast in English, preferring the French name Côte d'Ivoire to be used in all languages. During his days, you mean when he was alive?]

My fathers [You had more than one father?] died mysteriously in France during one of his business trips in abroad on 12th.Febuary 2006. [Is Febuary like February without the cold?] Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been masterminded by an uncle of his who travelled with him at that time.But ONLY GOD knows the truth! [Was this his brother, or his father's brother? If this 'uncle' is suspected, how come only the Lord knows the answer? Is the Lord a witness?]

My mother died when I was just 4 years old on child birth according to what my father told me,The time for her delivery was complete and the doctor did not know because according to my father the doctor told them that my mother was not going through labour because according to his own prediction my mother had about one month more to deliver. [What? She died giving birth to you when you were 4? But you were a month premature?] So before they rialise she was onlabour, it has taken about two days and she became very weak and couldnot make it during child delivery. [I'm still confused. Is this you or your sister? Either way, I'm so confused I don't think my brain pan can process it.] Since then my father took me so special. [He ought to! He was your father.]
Before his death on February 12/ 2006 which came to me as asuprise, [His death was a surprise, but your mother who carried you until age 4, and was in labor for 48 hours, but you were premature - yeah, her death should not be a surprise. Oh, and now you can spell the second month of the year, but cannot work the space bar? Also, your use of commas over periods are really getting on my nerves.]

I have stoped school because i cant afford to pay for my school fees anymore. [And this was a good call - because they taught you how to use the Internet and type, they obviously didn't bother to teach you English fundamentals, or where the spell check button is located.] why becouse the way my uncle is madtreating me is very bad,There is this Amount of Money Five Million Two Hundred Thousand U.S Dollars ($5,200,000.00) which my late Father Mr.JPHN MOLO [Okay, now you can't even spell your late father's name right. Come on. You're not even trying now. And that's US dollars, right? Because I don't want to go through all this work just to have to try to convert Franc's to Euros or dollars.] kept for me in a security company here in Abidjan,Cote D'Ivoire before he was assasinated becuase of his Cocoa Farm Plantation in Cote D'Ivoire. [So now you CAN spell cocoa, and the correct expression of the Ivory Coast? And he just happened to move 5.2 million just before he died? Maybe his moving of this money is what got him killed? I don't know, just a thought.]

My father was assasinated. [Prove it] Now, I have decided to invest these money in your country [I wouldn't invest in American banks. Have you read the newspaper? Ten of America's largest 19 banks need a combined $74.6bn (£50bn) of extra funds to boost their cash reserves. You've only got 5.2 million.] It's going to take or anywhere safe enough outside this country for security purposes.I want you to help me for this matter as i need this money to leave from this country because the money staying in the security company is not giving me any joy. [Tell me about it. Leaving my money in the security company doesn't give me any joy either.] I am explaining my condition to you because of the situation i am facing here in my uncle's house. [You're in his house?! On his computer?] my uncle dont know that my father deposited this money in the security company so please i need you to help me stand as my father buisnass [Buisnass. That's a cool new word you just invented there. How about Biznass instead. There's a little more hip-hop in that spelling.] pathner in abroad, i sopourse to take the money by myself but my father was made agreemant with the security company the money will be giving to me whan i am 30years old but or i come with soon one that will help to invest the money [Well, first off, how would his business partner not know of a deposit of 5.2 million, and I'm not aware of any trust fund that requires the beneficiary to wait until the ripe old age of 30 to collect? There are rules regulating interest bearing trust funds accounts. Perhaps you would like to hire an attorney rather than asking me - a complete stranger - for help?]

so please i need your help please do this for me as you do this our allmithy God Jesus Christ will bless you and all your intire familys, [I really don't see how Jesus has anything - anything - to do with this.]

Please,I really need your help for this box to bring to you in your country for investment purposes as MY late father advice me as his only daughter to look for a partner in abroad that can help me to invest this money on the followings

1).Telecommunication
2 International School
3 Five star hotel
[I'm not any of those, but go on...]

As you help me the security company deliver the box to you in your country.And As soon As i hear from you,i will lead you to the security company where my late Father deposited the Trunk box for you to contact them to negotiate and ask them to tell you how are they Going to deliver the box to you without any problel [You have 5.2 million cash in a Trunk? Why do I have to negotiate with the security company to make a delivery? Have you thought of just using Fed Ex or UPS?]

For your information,my Father did not let the security company to know that money is containing in the Trunk box,[So, now I'm confused again. Your Father deposited 5.2 million in a trunk, left it in the care of a security company that doesn't even know what it is nor has the ability to ship it? Not much of a security company.] i am giving you the secret of the money because i have nothing to hide to you as i have taken you as my only brethren. [Lady, I'm some random dude you're sending an email to. You're better off talking to your Uncle.] May the Our God allmithy in heaven jesus christ give both of us wisdom as i have see that this is the way that our God jesus christ want us to recognised each other. [Again, if you're going to evoke the Almighty, can you show Him the courtesy of spelling his name right - consistently? I'm not even asking for Capitalization, that, I'm afraid, would be too much to ask for.]

Please i want to beg you in the name of our almighty God Jesus Christ for you to be faithull to me. [According to you I have multiple families - how am I going to be faithful to you?] And tell me that you will not cheat me because i am a small girl. [18 isn't a small girl in any country] that you will not cheat on me. I will like to come over to your country and finish my school and get a better husband [Wait-a-minute, you're MARRIED? And you want to trade up? And you're worried about ME cheating on YOU?] and settle down for life, but the most important things i need from you is honest to me becouse i never do this buisness befor in my life [Well, frankly, I've never smuggled 5.2 million in a trunk either. So that makes two of us.] so i will like you to promise me that you can never cheat me when this money get to your contry that you are going to help me invest the money in your contry for a good buisness,

Thank you very much and may Our allmighty in heaven Jesus Christ continue to protect You and your family
Miss Janet Molo
[I think what will protect would be a better spam filter on my e-mail account. Good luck and God bless.

Oh, one last suggestion. You may want to clear the history of your browser, because if your Uncle or your father's uncle, or that guy who killed your father - he might be the kind of guy to keep track of what you're doing on his computer. Watch your back.]

Sweet Jebus John Edwards

Edwards acknowledges probe over campaign funds

Once a dirty cheat, always a dirty cheater?

Well, you tell me, folks...

Failed presidential candidate John Edwards, whose political action committee paid more than $100,000 to his mistress' [sham of a] production company, acknowledged Sunday that federal investigators were looking into how he handled his campaign funds. He just keeps falling deeper and deeper into the quicksand, doesn't he?

Hold on, the former North Carolina senator said he was confident no money was used improperly. Sure, and the kid still isn't yours either, right John?

A quick reminder for those of you who can't remember... John Edwards' political action committee has been under scrutiny for making payments to a woman with whom he had an affair. Edwards admitted the affair with Rielle Hunter in August after months of denying tabloid reports about the relationship. And months of denying fathering the son. Much like Michael Jackson when he sang about Billie Jean. But Michael Jackson was a tad more genuine in his answers.

"I am confident that no funds from my campaign were used improperly," Edwards said in the statement. "However, I know that it is the role of government to ensure that this is true. We have made available to the United States both the people and the information necessary to help them get the issue resolved efficiently and in a timely matter."

You bet John. Just keep smiling and combing that hair. I haven't seen a politician as obsessed with his hair this much since Rod Blagojevich. Anyone with hair that pretty HAS to be telling the truth, right?

His political action committee paid Hunter's firm $100,000 for "video production" in a four-month span in 2006, and then paid an additional $14,086.50 on April 1, 2007. At the time, the PAC only had $7,932.95 in cash on hand, according to records filed with the Federal Election Commission. That's a lot of money. Especially to someone who only figured what that lens cap thingy was on her second day.

That same day, according to the records, Edwards' presidential campaign paid the PAC $14,034.61 for what is listed as a "furniture purchase." Well, have you shopped at Babies R Us for cribs and diaper changers? That stuff is pricey, you know?

You might ask, hey, what's the big deal? John funneled some of that fat campaign money to his mistress's kid's nursery, so what? Willfully converting money from a political action committee for personal is a federal crime. And - as we all know getting caught was the real crime that John committed here.

Since announcing the affair, Edwards has remained largely secluded. His wife, Elizabeth (the one with the cancer), will soon be releasing a book talking about the affair. She's upset with John... for some reason?

The Edwards Affair

The next president must be "honest and sincere. We don't need the world's greatest politician as president. We need somebody we can trust." - John Edwards, New Hampshire 2008

Dear Cap'n, Why do you give such a sh*t about this John Edwards thing? Really? Who gives a rat's ass? And if you're trying to say that Democrats are cheaters I've got two Republicans Newt and DeLay - and they're not the gay cheaters!

Signed, Artie Lang

Dear Artie,

Hope all is going well in rehab. Sorry you missed out on the Bob Saget roast on Comedy Central. To address your fine letter about my concerns and coverage of the John Edwards 'affair': First he cheated. Second, on the job. Third, he lied and had co-workers cover it up. Four, he got caught. Five, he lied some more. Six, he still hasn't really apologized.

Here's a little snippet of his "apology"...

From John Edward's statement: (here's the rest of it)
In 2006, I made a serious error in judgment and conducted myself in a way that was disloyal to my family and to my core beliefs. I recognized my mistake and I told my wife that I had a liaison with another woman, and I asked for her forgiveness. Although I was honest in every painful detail with my family, I did not tell the public. When a supermarket tabloid told a version of the story, I used the fact that the story contained many falsities to deny it. But being 99% honest is no longer enough.

I was and am ashamed of my conduct and choices, and I had hoped that it would never become public. With my family, I took responsibility for my actions in 2006 and today I take full responsibility publicly.

He follows this by devoting a whole paragraph to the assertion that "the child is not mine." In the statement he hopes to distract from the fact that, he cheated on his wife, his wife with terminal cancer, with a woman he worked with, then continued to lie about it even when confronted by the facts - and only up until it was too late - and then admitted it on a Friday, (where bad political news goes to be hidden) - and the same Friday of the Olympics Opening ceremony - in a blatant attempt to bury the story so that it would soon be forgotten.

So other than all that, Artie, I don't care about his sex life. You're right to point out Newt and DeLay - and they also don't have political careers anymore. And for good reason. What I do care about, Artie, is that John Edwards never has had a shred of integrity or honesty. As you know, I've never liked his phony-baloney career built on down-home little guy North Carolina working-man values centered on his 31-year marriage to Elizabeth and on their four children. You better believe I'm going to say "I tolda' so."

On top of his sham image and values nonsense talking points... As a candidate, he doesn't have the political common sense to not screw around when under the massive campaign microscope. And then lies about it when he gets caught!

"The story is false, it's completely untrue, it's ridiculous," -John Edwards, October 2007 after the National Enquirer broke the story.

John Edward's political defects show him for the empty-suit and a haircut that he is. His character and personal defects aside, do you want the most powerful political leader in the world to not be able to figure out how to hide a little personal fling with an under qualified campaign staffer?

The ability to have sex with numerous young and nubile women has been, is, and will probably always be one of the fringe benefits of high office. Kennedy, Eisenhower, Eleanor Roosevelt: they all had side poon - hell maybe everybody did. The point is, because there's not a lot of evidence shows that they were all better at hiding their indiscretion. And yes, Bill Clinton got caught and was able to survive, but 8 years later he had to pay the piper by campaigning for Hillary. Edward's stupidity in getting caught, and stupidity in lying about it shows he's not capable of holding the highest office.

I expect a bit more from my President, and my Presidential candidates. Getting caught with his pants down and trying to talk his way out of it is not one of those expectations. I feel sorry for all those people who voted or campaigned for him - because he cheated on all of them too.

"If you want to beat me up, feel free," Edwards said in his Friday statement. "You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."

I seriously doubt that, John. I seriously doubt that.

Hush money through marked up viral ads

Silicon Valley Insider reports:

John Edwards' political action committee paid his mistress, Rielle Hunter, $114,000--ostensibly to produce four short web videos for the campaign, ABC News reports. Given that Edwards has now finally admitted he had an affair with Hunter (and, according to the National Enquirer, which first broke the affair story, fathered a "love child"), it's possible that this is the first instance of hush money essentially being laundered through YouTube.

Also notable: Rielle Hunter may be the best-paid web video producer in the business. AP:

In 2006, Edwards' political action committee paid $100,000 in a four-month span to a newly formed firm run by Hunter, who directed the production of just four Web videos, one a mere 2 1/2 minutes long.

The payments from Edwards' One America Committee to Midline Groove Productions LLC started on July 5, 2006, five days after Hunter incorporated the firm in Delaware.

Midline provided "Website/Internet services," according to reports that Edwards' PAC filed with the Federal Election Commission.

Midline's work product consists of four YouTube videos showing Edwards in informal settings as he prepares to make speeches in Storm Lake, Iowa, and Pittsburgh, as he prepares for an appearance on "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" and travels in Uganda in 2006.

Edwards' PAC followed the six-figure payment with two smaller payments totaling $14,461, the last on April 1, 2007.

$28,500 per video? That's a little high, even for an agency market average. The going rates for professional video production - should range about $5K per video. And $5K for 2 minutes is already on the high end. Edwards paying 28-29 K does smell kind of fishy. Perhaps if she were part of an established company that wasn't founded 5 days prior?

Yep, He's a Dirty Cheater

Yes, John Edward's hair DID have an affair with that woman.

EXCLUSIVE: Edwards Admits to Sexual Affair; Lied as Pres. Candidate

In ABC News interview, Edwards says he cheated, but did not father child.

Ah, John, are you done lying yet? Let's get Maury Povich on the phone.

Edward's Hair Has Sex

The Times of London is the first major newspaper to run a feature on the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter scandal. Once again, a bunch of foreigners are doing the jobs Americans won't do. (more on that here)

Senator John Edwards, whose wife has cancer, has been caught in a sex scandal that ends his vice-presidential hopes.

Change

"We have been in this business a long time. With our experience, we're gonna have ideas for change combinations that probably haven't occurred to you. If you have a fifty-dollar bill, we can give you fifty singles. We can give you forty-nine singles and ten dimes. We can give you twenty-five twos. Come talk to us. We are not going to give you change that you don't want. If you come to us with a hundred-dollar bill, we're not going to give you two-thousand nickels..- unless that meets your particular change needs. We will give you.. the change.. equal to.. the amount of money.. that you want change for!"

Someone Fart?

Edwards gives long-expected and awaited endorsement to Obama

It was just a matter of timing.

I'm guessing the timing was probably strategically used to turn eyes away from the incredible number of racists in the Democratic Party (what?! I had no idea there were racists in the Democratic Party! Get out of here!) and perhaps used to take the steam out of the huge, huge victory Hillary had last night.


Caption Contest on the photo:
Here's my entry-
"See that? She just crapped her pants."

Tale of Two Drop-Outs

I've had a lot of free time today. I've also been quite sober. The medicine and liquor cabinets have both been emptied. I've been spending my time licking my wounds, nursing this hangover, and following the carnage that has followed last night's returns from Florida. Casualties were enormous. Rudy and Edwards both realized the futility and capital needed to continue their campaigns. So they stopped.

As the presidential field has whittled down further, I noticed some stark contrasts between the two. According to the media I was reading and listening to, the proud Democrat John Edwards was serenaded as a trailblazer, a man of the people, a hero - while the moderate Republican Rudy Giuliani was mocked for "living an illusion."

While only a few news establishments were surprised by Giuliani's announcement (and subsequent endorsement of fellow moderate John McCain) after his distant third-place finish in Florida. Edwards' decision must have shocked at least one person -- New York Times reporter Julie Bosman, after her Tuesday story (Pops the NYTimes article) portraying Edwards as the Energizer Bunny, motoring on and becoming a possible kingmaker at the Democratic convention. Oops.

Edwards got sound bites. Edwards was put on a pedestal. A man choosing to step aside so that history could sweep through. In other words, a chick or Tiger Woods can top the party ticket. As if he really thought he was going to stop either of those two events happening? I suppose that by getting out of the way he did understand he wasn't going to stop one of those events from happening.

But when the "other" story of the day came about, it was a comedy piece. The story of his Dizzying Fall For Ex-Mayor, by the tag team of Michael Powell and Michael Cooper, that showed little respect for Giuliani. On NPR - the reporter took Rudy's Leadership Book-on-tape and played portions of it, mostly to mock the author. "Should have listened to page 40." "Had he re-read chapter 6..." and so forth. He attacked Rudy on every level. The reporter laughed at his strategy to out-smart the process by focusing on one winner-take-all state, and ignoring Iowa and Nevada. He was mocked for spending in New Hampshire, but abandoning it when his poll numbers changed. He was attacked for not gathering better advisors, and for accidentally sending out an email with his weaknesses. Overall the report was very demeaning, childish and it was an idea I was going to do here on Blasphemes a while back but never got around to looking at the book.

At one point the joke was that Giuliani had sold more books than he had earned votes.

My complaint isn't that the NPR guy was wrong, but that their "All Things Considered" didn't play fair. There should have been an equally satisfyingly hilarious look at how John Edwards still thinks and is convinced that poor people vote. Poor people don't vote! You'd think he would have figured that out the first time he ran for President - lost - and lost by being attached to John Kerry. There should have been a further kicking and punching once the man was down perhaps by mentioning that his "populist" campaign wasn't very effing popular!

There was no balance, or even attempt at balance.
Cap'n's Bottom Line? They both ran terrible games, and should be mocked equally!

Edward's Hair Drops Out

John Edwards will also be dropping out today too. (MSNBC)
He plans to spend more time with his family, and hair.

Democrat John Edwards is exiting the presidential race Wednesday, ending a crappy underdog bid in which he steered his rivals toward progressive ideals while grappling with family hardship that roused voters' sympathies but never diverted his campaign.

In case you don't get the "Breck Girl" joke. Oh, and now the world is safe from Damen from the Omen III... ...for one more election cycle anyway. VeeP anyone? VeeP? Or is that too much been there/lost that already?

New Hampshire - Same as the Old

I would like to start my little prediction thread thingy here but doing something I never thought I would do, I am going to defend Hillary Clinton. True this.

Yesterday there was a tremendous amount of airplay of Hillary almost crying at some event or other. Now I love a good cry and a political cry is a rare bird indeed. Normally, you would see an athlete-cry or a celebrity-cry but a political-cry? As I said, a rare bird. And, probably, for good reason. You don't need a leader that tears up during Terms of Endearment. It makes it harder negotiate with terrorists. However, Hillary was not crying. Not in this way, anyway.

I thought her little speech that she gave was the most honest, inspirational, and true I have ever heard Hillary sound. Emotions do have a place when you are discussing the condition of the country and where it is heading. And when you discuss emotions with the direction that the country is heading in and sadness is leads in the polls. I see nothing wrong and a lot of things right in what she said. Still hope not to have to vote for her but this was her best moment for me.

Conversely, John Edwards (candidate I prefer) was a clown. He noted that the country needed a "tougher" person in the presidency. The reason I always like Sen. Edwards was that he seemed to at least realize that the country could be better. He seemed to passionately want change. He holds dying babies to show how shitty the health care system is. He tells stories of the infirmed and unfortunate and now I am to believe that he never cried while on the campaign trail. If so, this man is inhuman.

In both cases I am assuming there were mistakes made by all due to long hours on the campaign trail, lack of sleep, and having to use the word "synergy" repeatedly in stump speeches. But I refuse to believe that in 24 hours Hillary became human and John became heartless.

Predictions:

Dem: Obama, Edwards, Clinton
Rep: McCain, Romney, Huckabee

Told ya...

Sometimes, you just don't need those fancy polls and whatnot. You just need the Capn.

Here's the latest "news" to be found on Yahoo:
Democrat Hillary Clinton would lose to all major Republican White House candidates, according to a hypothetical election matchup poll Monday, reversing her months of dominance over potential 2008 challengers.

The Zogby International poll was the latest sign that withering attacks on the former first lady were chipping away at her opinion poll leads just 38 days before the Iowa caucuses, the first party nominating contests.

In the new survey, Clinton trailed Senator John McCain 42 percent to 38 percent, former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani by 43 percent to 40 percent and former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney by 43 percent to 40 percent.

She also lagged behind former Arkansas Republican governor Mike Huckabee by 44 to 39 percent, and former Senator Fred Thompson by 44 to 40 percent in hypothetical general election matchups.

Clinton's top Democratic challengers Barack Obama and John Edwards however would still beat their hypothetical Republican rivals in potential 2008 contests.

This validates my point about Rove, it validates my thoughts on this stuff since I joined up here on this here Blasphemes deal. I have said that ANY of the Republican fellows could beat her in the national race. I don't know when, search for it. I ask now, how is this crap news? The country voted for BUSH over Longfellow -er- Kerry. The country hasn't come together to teach the world to sing the Coca-Cola song. Why would anyone think that Hillary can or would? She represents everything that is wrong with the Democratic party right now, and until now - right now - the minute you're reading this - has anyone bothered to think that through.

I have been waiting for Al Gore to take the stage. It's his time, and he's due the trumping of the Clintons (both of them) who threw him under the bus in 2000. I even support him to take the DNC nomination. Mostly for the humor factor.

Now it's up to Obama and also Edwards to get off their hands and go for the jugular. Don't hold back for the VeeP spot - you don't want that anyway... especially if you're going to loose with Hillary on top.... ewww... going to have to go back and edit that last sentence...

If you disagree - go on, start a flamewar with me. I'm working slow as I'm still recovering from that damned flu bug. Remember, you gots to show your work.

MC Rove

Rove continued attacking Hillary, and Hillary ate it up and played into his trap like a tiger in some kind of cage. Apparently, this is how John Kerry came out of the unknown corner and popped into the nomination. Let's review real quick though. Lieberman was the front runner up until before the people of Iowa actually went to the polls. And then after Howard Dean took Iowa it didn't exactly help his cause to show his imitation of Rick Flair to the nation. Weew! That kind of knocked him right out.

But apparently Rove was much more afraid of John Edwards as the Dem's nominee and pushed for Kerry. He did this by making comments about Kerry, which was interpreted as an attack, and brought Kerry much needed attention. Kerry 'the butt of the dirty Republican attacks' quickly rose to the top of the puddle of choices - which I never did quite understand - and Edwards was pushed to the second half of the ticket.

Wonder if he's 'nominating' Hillary to beat Edwards again, or if he's more afraid of Obama?

Killing 2 birds

Edwards walks picket line in Chicago, shoots commercial

August 4, 2007

BY BEN GOLDBERGER Chicago Sun Times Staff Reporter

Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards films a campaing commercial after walking a picket line with striking hotel workers in front of the Congress Hotel on Saturday in Chicago.
(John J. Kim/Sun-Times)

Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards killed two birds with one stone Saturday, briefly walking the picket line with striking Congress Hotel workers while simultaneously shooting footage for potential campaign promotions.

The former North Carolina senator, who is campaigning as a champion of the working class, spent nearly 10 minutes walking the picket line with unionized employees from the Michigan Ave. hotel, who have been striking since 2003 over substandard wages and health benefits.

“Your cause is the cause of working people,” Edwards told the strikers. “Making sure that those who work earn a decent wage, get health care coverage and can actually support their families and their children.”

The picket was a return visit for Edwards, who marched with the strikers four years ago during his last presidential campaign.

“I was proud to be with you years ago, I’m proud to be back with you now,” Edwards said to cheers. “Your cause is my cause.”

In addition to reaffirming the blue collar thrust of his campaign, Edwards’ tour on the picket line was fodder for future campaign commercials and online spots.

As is common in current political campaigns, an Edwards-affiliated videographer was shadowing his candidate’s every move.

After walking the line, Edwards stepped in front of his videographer and, with the striking workers in the background, declared, “I’m John Edwards and I approved this message.” Then he hopped into a maroon minivan--one car only, no motorcade-- and zipped down to McCormick Place to face the liberal bloggers at the YearlyKos convention.

__________________________________________________________________

"The picket was a return visit for Edwards, who marched with the strikers four years ago during his last presidential campaign."

How convenient to show up to a picket line only when re-running for president, and use it as a backdrop to your ad.

"Your cause is my cause."

Sure. I'll give him this, though it was a good logistics move. Great scheduling.

__________

PS - what Union audio professional would let the candidate's mic cable be seen like that?

Can I see your Union cards? I'm going to have to see your Union cards. Well, I'll have to talk to Bob, the owner, to see if I can have you perform on waivers... for tonight...

John Edwards: Sexiest Woman Alive

I've been having really bad dreams about John Edwards lately. Nightmares. I've been trying to generate enough clever ideas for a cover story, but it looks like Esquire magazine beat me to it.
I think I should at least fill you in on how these dreams have been playing out.

The quick/quick version of this horror story come down to that I realize that John Edwards is a fraud, and NO ONE else sees through his lies, or worse, they don't even care. Through the night I work my way up to confronting him and his room full of people on what a fraud he is. I'm in front of cameras - live - it's a big deal and it's taken a lot of action sequences to get there. Lot of dead friends and evil minions. I leap out in front of the cameras, I tell the nation that his poverty in America tour and his wife's cancer are all just covers for the second face that hides who he really is and his true agenda.

No one listens. No one cares. Mostly laughs from the live audience.

I'm whisked off stage and taken out by his personal security detail. Not the Secret Service, but hired goons and thugs. Night after night they rough me up fairly well - to the point where I'm breathing, but I'm not talking anymore. That's the order. Finally, Edwards steps on my throat, laughing at my futile attempt to bring him down. It's all in overly scripted super-villain cliche fashion.

I eventually wake from the coma, to see he's the President.
I'm so incapacitated that I'm unable to speak, or warn anyone until the missiles are flying.

Okay, so my nightmare is mostly a rip-off of The Dead Zone and The Final Conflict/AKA The Omen III.
However, now that I have your attention - Damien in The Omen III was played by Sam Niel.

Sam Niel - Damien -, meet John Edwards.

Kind of looks like a prophecy to me, no?