Harry Potter Smashes Sarah Palin

Three people show up to premiere of the Sarah Palin documentary — a reporter and two people who didn’t know what they were seeing and walked out after 20 minutes.

"Why aren't you seeing Harry Potter?" an usher said to the reporter sitting alone in the audience."

Maybe they should have called it "The Quitter?"

Meanwhile, that Potter film smashed box office records. One would expect Warner Brothers executives to offer their first born children and burnt offerings to Mrs. J.K. Rowling?

"Please, can't we see what happens to Harry in college?!"

News of the Day

News of the Day...

or what I'm tracking.

Mr. Obama is expected to announce Afghanistan troop drawdown today. No doubt this will make some people happy and make a few others, like those fighting there, and the non-Taliban folks get kind of jumpy. Well, mission accomplished, and there's no more money. Besides, we've got Syria to stick our junk into. No, not kidding. It looks like Senator Graham is beating the drum to start a SIXTH war in Syria. Come on.

I wonder how our new Secretary of Defense feels about this? Yeah, Gates is leaving, if you didn't see his farewell tour the last couple months. Leon Panetta was unanimously confirmed as new Secretary of Defense.

Back to politics, Newt Gingrich's hilarious new political comedy continues to lose team members faster than Chef Ramsey expunges game-show contestants. Newt's team just lost his fundraising director and consultant. Now that's a reality show I'd watch on C-Span Ocho!

Former Utah governor Jon Huntsman enters race for Republican presidential nomination. For some reason, excuse me if I barely noticed. Am I supposed to be excited, angry, or meh about this? I'm going with meh.

And the story that pretty much writes itself Half-term Gov. Sarah Palin Packs In Her Bus Tour...Halfway Through. It really was a short bus.

Oh and Ai Weiwei was supposedly released. That's cool. They nabed him for tax evasion.

And finally, Wisconsin has passed right-to-carry legislation, leaving Illinois as the only one where only the bad guys are allowed to possess firearms. Guess it's going to be a summer of flash mobs in Chicago?

Palin's Short Bus Tour

Some of you have been asking what's up with Sarah? Is she running? What's up with the used McCain bus? Shouldn't that bus be shorter?

Well, gang, like Trump before her - she's playing a game, and the media are lapping it up, while being completely confounded by it. This cartoon nails it.

Wonder how her book sales are doing during this summer vacation of hers?

Palin Tell-All Leaked

A former trusted adviser to Sarah Palin is planning a tell-all memoir. An early draft of the manuscript to Frank Bailey’s Blind Allegiance to Sarah Palin: A Memoir of our Tumultuous Years was leaked to reporters. It was a rough draft. Bailey began his tenure with Palin as a campaign volunteer when she ran for Governor, eventually rising to her Chief of Staff until her resignation in 2009.

“This is a fact-finding, truth-reporting endeavor,” one of Bailey’s co-writers Ken Morris said.

“The source data for this book comes from Frank Bailey’s experience and his own email accounts.” On her blog, Bailey’s other co-writer Jeanne Devon, a progressive Alaskan blogger known as AKMuckraker, declared that “Frank Bailey was one of the few true Palin ‘insiders.’ He and a circle of half a dozen people were there in the Palin campaign from day one, until the end of her administration. He’s the kind of guy you’d pick to write an insider memoir, if you could choose.”

So, it's as if Darth Vader wrote a tell-all after he tossed the Emperor into the air shaft.

Both Morris and Devon insist that neither the authors nor their literary agents at the New York-based Carol Mann Agency played any part in leaking the draft manuscript. “We on this end are shocked and horrified that this has happened,” writes Devon, “but the toothpaste is out of the tube as they say.” Blind Allegiance has yet to secure a publisher and has no scheduled release date. Messages to Sarah Palin’s camp for comment weren’t immediately returned.

The parts I read are no more shocking than the Rod Blagojevich transcripts. Lot of petty feuds and aspirations for a higher office. However, there's enough dirt that "Troopergate" may get reopened, and allegations of actual fraud involving 2006 RNC monies spent inappropriately and not accounted for may actually bring a court case.

More

Meanwhile, the ex-Alaska governor will appear in an episode of American Chopper about a special bike being built to honor Alaska’s 50-year anniversary as a state. "It means so much to the state of Alaska that these guys are building this bike that will honor statehood here," Palin says in the episode.

The Future

So, er, we have that to look forward to.

Palin in New Steampunk Comic Book

Sarah Palin is everywhere these days and now Palin can be seen in the panels of a new comic book. On the heels of Sarah Palin giving fans a new television series with Sarah Palin's Alaska on TLC, Palin is now featured in her own comic book called "Steampunk Palin."

According to Comics Alliance, Antarctic Press recently released the latest comic in their Steampunk line, Steampunk Palin, which features former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin as a sexy steam-powered cyborg on a mission to save the planet.

Check out Sarah Palin on the cover of Steampunk Palin after the synopsis below:

Steampunk Palin Synopsis:

Energy catastrophe has struck worldwide! Massive oil spills, nuclear meltdowns and more leave us desperate for viable energy sources to rebuild global society and technology. Inspired by a little tea party, Sarah Palin hits upon the answer: steam power! She begins the “Steam Initiative”, touting geothermal energy as the cure for what ails ya. The heads of Big Oil and Nuclear Power are less than happy with this trend, and they send their agents to do in the Rogue Republican. Luckily, she comes prepared with a set of steam-powered armor! (Standard equipment, don’cha know.)

Thank you : Written by Troy Rogers

Jalapenos

Heterosexual, white boy, Methodists.

This song/video is supposedly causing people to get really upset? Politicians are trying to ban it?

The Bellamy Brothers’ newest song release titled “Jalapenos” is being met with great controversy over the lyrics, which are very politically and sexually charged regarding some of the current political and pop-cultural events, such as gun control, immigration issues, and Tiger Woods affairs... sounds a lot like this here blog?

Furthermore, the song is accompanied by a music video featuring actors wearing giant masks, for example Sarah Palin, Barack Obama, Tiger Woods, and of course girls in string bikinis are featured throughout the video.

The Bellamy Brothers stated that they hope their new song “Jalapenos” does not offend anyone, they were just trying to add a smile to people’s faces as they always have. I wonder if their passports will still be valid on their way home from their European tour?

Seriously though - Banning this? Come on? Meantime, I'm sure Ray Stevens is watching these developments closely.

Ron Paul, Ron Paul, Ron Paul 2012

Okay, Paulistas, Ron Paul has announced that he is official considering a 2012 run for president, CNN says so.

For those of you who only know him as a meme on message boards, the Texas Republican Representative has run in the past, and has gotten about as far as Al Sharpton in the primaries. He's the Dennis Kuinich of the Republicans - he's there to remind them of what their party is supposed to believe in and fight for. Paul has a group of extremely loyal supporters, most of which are Independent or Libertarian voters, and a couple tin foil hat wearers in the mix too. Despite all that support, he was unable to garner enough support for a GOP nomination in 2008. And to be honest, he was almost kept out of the debates, and when he was allowed to enter, he wiped the floors with Rudy, Mitt and Johnny - by was limited by his allowed speaking time.

As for running on a third party docket, everyone knows that has never worked for anyone (except maybe Lincoln) in the USA. In his favor of hijacking the GOP, is that they're flailing around like a dying fish - what with Michael Steel running around in a circle looking for water. The Republicans are already looking for a suitable contender for the nomination. Yes, Sarah Palin we see you with your hand up waving, doing cartwheels for the teacher for attention, but we should expect that she will probably be laughed off the stage by the Blue Blood types that run the party.

Mitt Romney, Bobby Jindal, Scott Brown, and Mike Huckabee are other possibilities, and probably more likely faces you'll see in the primaries.

But, Paul doesn’t actually think he will ever be in the seat of power...

“I don’t expect to be president. I don’t expect to be. That doesn’t mean I won’t run for president, but I am really energized when I think we make inroads … to broaden the outreach on the philosophy I have been talking about for 40 years,” Paul said to CNN.

Like Dennis Kucinich, Paul's message is spread by a presidential run. However, the news and attention this approach draws is a discussion on how these two fringe players have no chance at the nomination. There's almost never a detailed look at their policy ideas. Well, maybe at midnight on NPR... But, despite the lack of good coverage, some of their ideas can bleed into the party platform -- and lately the libertarian ideas and values of the Paul brand has been making inroads to policy ideas for the GOP.

And then there's the Tea Party, which some speculate are mostly made up of disenfranchised Paul voters who are looking for a leader. A real leader. He fits the bill perfectly. I'd much rather see Ron Paul than someone else who may suggest the Tea Party picks up matching snappy uniforms. Brown or Black shirts. Whatever is at sale at Wal-Mart.

Stranger things have happened in politics - Look at Barry Goldwater. But then, it was the most conservative candidate possible against LBJ.

And history does have a way of repeating itself.

Quote of the Day

"I chant, 'drill baby drill,' because it will help make the country energy independent," she said.

Sarah Palin fired up an enthusiastic Texas crowd late Saturday by criticizing President Barack Obama's handling of the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, saying he's falling short on leadership.

The former Alaska governor told about 5,000 people at the Oil Palace in Tyler that the president should have been more aggressive in going after BP executives after the spill. The British company was leasing a rig that exploded April 20, causing the largest offshore oil spill in U.S. history.

"You asked for the job, Mr. President, so buck up," Palin said to voracious applause.

Palin said Obama and the federal government have been too slow in helping victims of the oil spill. She also said there have been too many regulations in allowing residents to begin cleaning up oil along the shoreline and from the water.

"After two months of incompetence from the federal government, they are taking it in their own hands," Palin said.

She also said the U.S. must become independent of foreign oil by using its own resources. But that it must be done responsibly and under government oversight.

The feedback loop is strong in this one. The government is incompetent but must oversee energy independence - by drilling more oil? Or, just foreign oil? Foreign oil from Canada and Mexico?

Sarah's Solutions

I'm so glad she's helping out. All those engineers were just getting in the way...
If you pray long and hard enough, the leak will eventually stop leaking. Guaranteed.

Quote of the Day

"In fact, while it's possible that before Hunter started speaking on her own behalf, I might have entertained the notion that she was a slightly dopey lady who fell hard for a bad man who was running for president and got caught in a very unfortunate saga, I now feel quite confident that in fact she is a borderline simpleton, fame-seeking narcissist whose self-interested grab for attention is likely doing further permanent damage to the Edwards family, including her daughter and her siblings. If her appearance on the Oprah show seemed like an unjust setup, then Hunter proved that, every once in a while, someone so amply meets all expectations for awfulness that it's impossible to muster anything other than loathing for them."

-- Rebecca Traister, in her piece on Oprah's interview with estate wrecker and new-age super genius Rielle Hunter in today's Salon

Remember my fellow Democrats - John Edwards is your Sarah Palin.

Thanks Chez

Hypocrite of the Week!

Hypocrite of the Week! Bristol Palin starring in an anti-teen pregnancy PSA advocating abstinence as a preventative measure — something Bristol not only knows in her heart of hearts is not effective, but is a living, breathing proof of that fact.

...or am I wrong and it's a logical fallacy?

Since she didn't TRY abstinence, then she's a warning sign to other kids to try it? Now I'm confused. Feel free to chime in.

Sunday Comics: Week in Review

Ah the week that was. Snow in all 50 States - yes, even in the higher mountains of Hawaii. The bonus of it all is that the Federal Government was more paralyzed than normal: Federal offices were shut down for 4 full days. Snow obviously votes Republican
Meanwhile the rest of the country is freaking out about snow. And frankly, I used to laugh about the South closing schools on the anticipation of snow. But when you break it down, the folks down there don't own shovels - they don't even really know what to do with the stuff. There are zero snow plows and no salt or even a salt truck to salt one road, let alone a fleet. So if you're going to make fun of the Southerners in snow, make fun of their survivalist runs on the 7-11 bottled water and grape Pop-Tarts. That's funny.

Meanwhile, the owners of Toyota vehicles and stock didn't have a good week. That's two in a row. And the media and government seem to be extra probing into this story - mainly because the media are all Toyota owners, and the government needs to sell more GM products. If I'm not kidding, prove me wrong. It does seem that Toyota might have held off such a recall until they had to... but I always think about Fight Club. The narrator (Edward Norton) was an automobile company employee who travels to accident sites to perform product recall cost appraisals. There was a magic number of deaths before they'd issue a recall. I'm thinking the number wasn't high enough.
Iran. I ran so far away. They're giving Mr. Obama's open hand of friendship the middle finger. The Iranian government executed some protesters, tear gassed the rest, and told the world they've enriched uranium. Mr. Obama's open hand has failed to end Iran's human rights abuses and also their nuclear ambitions. The response from the US? Go right back to George Bush styled sanctions. No hope. Zero change.
Speaking of zero hope. How about that NASA program. Looks like the 60's are finally over. Unless there's a great profit motive to get there for a US corporation, it looks like the next man on the moon will be a Chinese citizen. Which is fine, except I fear it'll be a Chinese soldier - and he'll be aiming missiles back at the blue planet where he came from.
Sarah Palin wrote some crib notes on her hand. Obama supporters were quick to make fun of her. I'd like to point out that her other hand was stretched out with a purse full of cash. Her profit motive to leave her office and hijack the tea-bag movement, and ultimately the GOP - should be much more troubling then her short term memory of talking points. Both ideologies should be concerned.Speaking of the Tea Baggers [and again, guys, you HAVE to pick a new name!] they've been called the Know-Nothings. This is extremely dangerous and has connotations that are even more dangerous. I prefer the cartoon's description that these folks are Libertarian in heart - and they feel that the Federal, State and Local governments were the right size before. Gigantic, and with all kinds of programs that they like - but they don't want to see it get any bigger. And as their States and Local governments are crying poor, raising taxes to support programs and pensions that they cannot possibly fund - the government is getting larger and spending even more - with money it doesn't have. This is where their anger stems. It's not because Mrs. Pelosi is a woman or Mr. Obama has tan skin - it's because Mrs. Pelosi, Mr. Reed and Mr. Obama aren't listening, and don't care. To dismiss the Tea Baggers as racist is dangerous because to ignore their concerns leads the movement toward radical elements and radical solutions. It would be much more beneficial to recognize their fear and anger. The alternative is President Palin... and if that's not scary, then we can discuss how Napoleon and Mussolini came to power.

Retarded Comment

Sarah Palin wants Rahm fired for his retarded comment

In a Facebook post, Sarah Palin calls on President Obama to fire Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel for reportedly describing the strategy of Senate liberals as "f*ucking retarded."

"Yes, Rahm is known for his caustic, crude references about those with whom he disagrees, but his recent tirade against participants in a strategy session was such a strong slap in many American faces that our president is doing himself a disservice by seeming to condone Rahm's recent sick and offensive tactic."

Meanwhile, an interesting new poll of Republicans finds that a majority think Palin is more qualified than Barack Obama to be president. Ouch.

Bi Polar SOTU

A large number of Americans are sick of the unchecked growth of the Federal Government. I'm also not happy about the raising of all my other tax liabilities. My property tax is way up, the State income tax is going up, even my water bill is up 20 bucks from my last water bill. And I've been using less government services - and less water. I, like many others on my block, want fewer government services and less government interference in our social and economic lives.

Just to be clear, I'm not trying to be an obstructionist Republi-can't who mearly stands in the way as their only political option [no matter how well that actually works]. Nor am I influenced by 'Astro-Turffed' special interests who are trying to push particular agendas around the obstructionist party faithful.

No, I'm speaking to the bi-polar country, and the bi-polar State of the Union speech I heard last night. President Obama, on one hand, recognized how America is tired of the same old crap out of Washington. And while Mr. Obama was making little digs at the Republicans...

"Saying "no" to everything is not leadership."

...just as he was telling everyone how upset everyone was at the playground crap in Washington. Bi-polar for sure. on the other, tasked his party to grow the size of government interference and also [somehow] create jobs.

Let me be clear - the government doesn't make jobs! If you don't understand this - please write me a comment or just keep reading.

But why am I not excited about the President's plan? Because all his other plans were no good, that's why. Take the $787 billion stimulus package. Fifty-six percent of Americans now oppose the stimulus, with only 42 percent supporting it. A year ago, those numbers were reversed. The American people have learned what economists such as Robert Barro and Valerie Ramey could have told you a long time ago: that a dollar increase in government spending results in no more (and almost certainly less) than a dollar increase in economic activity. The Administration's estimates about how many jobs would be "created" by the stimulus package—a term of art later modified to "saved or created," then downgraded further to "funded"—have been slippery, unconvincing, and wildly off-base. The same goes for their estimates on the unemployment rate, still in double digits and not improving despite confident predictions that the stimulus would cap the bleeding at 9 percent. And then there's a report that construction jobs don't stimulate anything.

And then there were the bailouts. Bush and now Mr. Obama have taken from the people of 'Main Street' and given it to their buddies in 'Wall Street'. For some reason, I'm a little bitter about that. There's been no accounting of what happened to the money - but everytime I see a golden parachute deploy or if I hear of a bonus that's more than I brought in last decade -- yeah, I get a little bitter about that. And I'm also aware that every dollar spent is leveraged on our future. You're taking money from the current and future economy. You're merely postponing a larger crash...

The President's spending priorities are less than compelling. He campaigned on a promise to enact a "net spending cut" in federal outlays. Yes, that's a good reaction to the free-spending days of George Bush, to be sure. But then why has overall federal spending in fiscal year 2009 increased 32 percent over the previous year? And that's not counting our ongoing wars.

Tack onto all this the slow-motion car wreck that was health care "reform" (His word, not mine). He discussed the need to contain costs and introduce choice and competition into the system. Forget tort reform, or single payers -- if the Health Care Reform just simply broke the link between employment and insurance, so that individuals can shop for and own their own policies regardless of their work situation, or State they live in - you'd see some fantastic Change!

I won't even bring up the broken promises and dashed hopes on closing Guantanamo, reversing discrimination against gays, and paring back our overseas military commitments, but the headline story of your presidency is about one crucial thing: economic policy and results.

If the President has any chance of winning back the shinny glow that got him elected, he would start by taking those promises seriously, rather than treating them as short-term fixes for long-term drops in popularity. Stop campaigning, start governing. Take the American people seriously. Acknowledge that differences of opinion spring from genuine place. [With the exception of the lady wearing the homemade airbrushed Sarah Palin T-Shirt.] And try something that no president since Bill Clinton has even attempted: Scale back ambitions. Pay as you go. Limit the growth of government. You know, just like the rest of us!

Prosperity isn't something the government creates, it's something the government can enable, by establishing a set of simple rules and getting the hell out of the way.

Todd and Sarah Palin to Divorce?

Blasphemes has learned today that Todd Palin and former Alaska governor Sarah Palin are to divorce. Multiple sources in Wasilla and Anchorage (including a former Palin staffer) have confirmed the split.

A National Enquirer story exposing previous affairs on both sides led to a deterioration of their marriage and the stress from that led to Palin's resignation as governor of Alaska last week.

The Palins were noticeably not speaking to each other for most of last Sunday's resignation speech in Fairbanks. Sarah ditched Todd (MSNBC) right after the speech and left without him. Sarah removed her wedding ring.

Okay - THAT makes sense. I can finally sleep knowing why she REALLY quit the State House.

Mail Bag: 83 Year Old Complains about Palin

Cap'n's Mail Bag: This was cutn'pasted from an 83 year old who has a blog. Classic, funny stuff in there for me to share with you. Besides, I had these Palin Runner's World pictures to use up. Enjoy!

SARAH PALIN CALLED A FAMILY MEETING AND THE RABBIT LIVED…

Margaret, I watched Sarah Palin’s resignation speech and all I have to say is, “What the hell was that?” My God that woman is an idiot. I have said this before, but I feel the need to say it again. Her problems did not come because the media was against her. Her problems come because every time you stick a microphone in front of her mouth a whole lot of stupid falls out.

Things are getting tough and once again she is trying to hide behind that dysfunctional family of hers. She actually stood there and talked about how the Palins had a family meeting and everyone agreed it was time for her to step down as Governor. Well, I call bullsh*t. The only family meetings the Palins have usually involve someone peeing on an early pregnancy test stick.

The time to step down would have been back when the older daughter was knocked up and needed a little privacy. The time to have stepped down would have been when the special needs child was a newborn and needed some peace and quiet at home with the family. The time to put the voters or her family first hasn’t happened with Sarah Palin yet and I doubt it ever will.

I would cut her some slack but she used up all her slack with me while on the campaign trail. This is the woman who called the parts of the country where I don’t live more Pro-American than the part where I do live. She stirred up crowds across the country to the point that McCain campaign stops frequently resembled a lynch mob. She mixes religion and politics like I mix gin and tonic but then calls for less government involvement. Freedom from government is her battle cry until a vagina gets involved and then watch how much involvement she wants. Show me a woman who is making a private medical decision to end a pregnancy and I’ll show you a Palin screaming for more government involvement.

She was elected to be Alaska’s Governor for four years and she bails having completed less than three. Can you imagine what she might do if she were to ever make it to the White House? All it would take is for Congress to overturn one veto and the Palins would be packing up the bear skin rugs in the Oval Office. And I bet they take all the little shampoo bottles from the private residence as well.

Like I said a few months back - that woman is a bitch. I meant it. Really.

by: Helen Philpot

Thanks Helen!

Palin Resigning!

Sarah Palin said she is resigning from her office as Governor of Alaska - at the end of the month. Speculation is raising that she can now focus on a run for the White House in the 2012 race.

What a surprise! Not the Republican governor who I thought would be making this announcement - South Carolina had that one in the bag...

When Palin said she was quitting, she didn't elaborate on her future.

"Once I decided not to run for re-election, I also felt that to embrace the conventional Lame Duck status in this particular climate would just be another dose of politics as usual, something I campaigned against and will always oppose," Palin said in a statement.

"It is my duty to always protect our great state. With that in mind, my family and I determined that it is best to make a difference this summer, and I am willing to change things, so that this administration, with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future, can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success," she said.

Lt. Gov. Sean Parnell will be inaugurated at the end of the month. Her term would have ended in 2010.
Okay, now, the last thing you do is give up your power to go campaigning. Obama got his Senate seat sat in it for about a half a minute, then hit the campaign trail. He didn't quit. Neither did McCain. He's still got his job. So does John Kerry and Joe Lieberman (much to the chagrin of their constituents.)

My initial thought is that she isn't running - she's hiding. She is attempting to get herself and her family out of the punchline spotlight that she is in. Why else would a governor leave their job? Infidelity - nope, unless it's with a hooker. Gross incompetence? No, Grey Davis had to be recalled. Gross corruption? No, Blago had to get impeached by a room full of jokers just as corrupt as him... but he got nailed by the Feds. Health issues? No, there are two Democratic Senators that aren't even able to make roll call - let alone vote. I'm sure we can all think some more *(feel free to educate us in the comments bar)

If she IS running for President - well, we can always point at her and call her a quitter.

Poultry-Pardoning Palin

1:52 is where the action starts. Sorry it took me so long to get this up for you today.

One Alaska turkey was lucky Sarah Palin showed up on Thursday at the Triple D Farm & Hatchery outside Wasilla to issue a traditional Thanksgiving gubernatorial pardon.

The other turkeys that happened to be behind the former Republican vice-presidential nominee during a subsequent television interview at the farm? Not so much.

During the three-minute video, which appeared Friday on U.S. political websites, a smiling Palin appears oblivious to turkeys being slaughtered in the background just moments after she spared the life of one of the birds.

An unidentified worker is seen placing at least two struggling birds head-first into a slaughter cone as Palin, holding a disposable coffee cup, discusses her family, falling oil prices, what she learned during her failed vice-presidential bid and the work she faces as Alaska's governor.

Palin, who became the target of intense media criticism over her performance in high-profile television interviews during the election campaign, said she's thankful that her son's Stryker brigade is relatively safe in Iraq and the rest of her family is healthy and happy.

She added that she would be the one in charge of cooking the turkey at her family's Thanksgiving dinner.

As the blood of one of the birds was drained into a trough, Palin said it was nice to participate in a function that wasn't so filled with "heavy-handed politics that invites criticism."

"Certainly we'll probably invite criticism for even doing this, too," she said. "But at least this was fun."

Attention Partygoers

Cut n' paste this warning on the venue of your choice to prevent that event from becoming lame.


Download the PDF here.