Showing posts with label iPad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label iPad. Show all posts

Feb 13, 2011

Sunday Comics - The Week in Review

Finish line. Another week in the history books. The roller-coaster of the drama in Egypt has come to a conclusion - and the three hundred souls that helped make it happen. Social media was a tool, an interment in organizing - not necessarily creating - a revolution. And in Egypt's case it was as effective as a blade or a bullet. In Iran - not so much.
It's also telling that in Iran, as they're celebrating their revolution, and cheering on Egypt - they're suppressing the Green movement and hanging the opposition.
And go he did. The military performed a soft coup d'e'tat. The oil sucking world is concerned what's going to happen next. The West, and America love democracy -- but only if it's to their own benefit. If you're a democracy and elect theocracy into office - that's not good for business. That's why the West is excited for the people of Egypt, but also quaking in their boots that Egypt won't want to play ball.
Which explains, perfectly, the White House's trepidations and confusing messages about Egypt these last couple weeks. A PEW poll discovered that 82% of Egyptians have an unfavorable opinion of the United States. They also want more religion in their government. Factbox: Egyptians want more Islam in politics: poll.

Switching gears, Mr. Obama crossed the street to try to mend fences with the Chamber of Commerce. It went over like a lead balloon.
But the US is on the road to recovery, right? There's nothing to fear... oh, Inflation.
Meantime, make sure you get out to the store this weekend to buy your sweetie overpriced roses and chocolate that was picked by children... oh, you haven't heard? Now chocolate is the new blood diamond. Eh, just email your SO a picture. That ought to go over well.
And there's a new high watermark for failure out there...
Let's try to meet back here next week, gang. In the meantime, hang in there.

Thought of the week: Why is cargo on a ship, but stuff on a truck is a shipment?

Jan 1, 2011

Oh, Those Opulent O’s.

We’ve come to the end of a decade - yes, I start counting my decades by the ones and not the zeroes, which means that 1980 was the last year of the 70’s. I know it looks stupid on paper, but it is the proper way. My reference point would be the classic Onion Headline - “The Millennium Begins in 2001, Terrorists Note.”

In the grand tradition of rehashing old news and making sub-standard lists of events, arbitrary lists of the ‘best’ movies or music, reality television ‘stars’, or worst of all - consumer products - allow me the exercise of looking back with the rose colored glasses of time. I’d like to try to present the previous ten years as it might show up in a history book.

The Opulent O's

Previous eras of the American experience have been labeled, whether accurately or not, by the generations that followed. The eras of the Gilded Age, the Roaring Twenties, or the Fabulous Fifties give an over reaching illusion of wealth and comfort afforded by all the citizenry. Careful study shows that there were major exceptions ranked by class status and race in each of these three examples, and the names themselves discount recessionary times, and any turmoil that existed. However, the tradition of remembrance for a grouping of ten years with a fantastical moniker has become an unfortunate reality of historical narrative when examining the history of America. The era that we are focusing on now is no exception -- the era which begins at the turn of the 21st Century to the new year of 2011 CE. This time has become known as the Opulent O’s.

To first explain the name of the era, the people of the time did not refer to the year in which they lived as the aughts, or oughts as proper English would dictate, or even the example of the generation that lived through the turn of the previous century, the 1900’s. The pronunciation of the year in which they lived predominantly was spoken as, “two thousand and...” followed by the number designate. Hence, why a few historians have refereed to the era as the ‘And’s’. The consensus by reputable sources and careful research has been to designate this time as the ‘Oh’s.’ The evidence in the historical record suggests that the people of the time would sometimes drop the ‘two thousand’ in speech and would simply state, “Oh six,” when giving a descriptor of a year; as an example.

The word Opulent has become to describe the era. The Latin derived definition in English are defined as 1. Having or indicating wealth, and also 2. Abundant or plentiful. Ignoring race or regional exceptions -- the word perfectly defines the era.

The primary fuel of the time was cheap and easily obtained petroleum drilled from the ground. The peak of use of gasoline and plastic derived from oil occurred in this era. The abundance of cheap oil and fuel allowed for cheap food sources. The importance of oil in the life cycle of plant to waste product must be studied to understand the mindset of the time. The availability and sheer amounts of cheap fuel created a cradle-to-grave manufacturing cycle from consumer goods to 4 ton single passenger vehicle with low fuel to kilometer use ratios -- which defines the zeitgeist. The most important aspect, in hindsight, to the lifestyle of the times was the amount of fuel used to create inexpensive food. The petroleum was used in the creation of fertilizer, and copious amounts were used in the entire process of seed to market, and market to aftermarket production.

Simplified, the oil or oil products would be used by the farmer from every aspect of his production -- from the multiple passes on a tractor (soil toiling, planting, chemical pesticide application, cultivation and a final till of the soil), to transport to industrial food processing off site (sometimes thousands of miles) from the farmland. Next, from the secondary processor which would create a chemical byproduct of the original agricultural product (Maize and soybeans being the most popular of the bases found in most supermarkets [see also ADM Corporation] would then transport and package the new product and ship by truck to market. Retail supermarkets [Safeway, Albertsons], “fast food” restaurants [McDonald’s, Chili’s] or superstore retail outlets [Costco, Wal-Mart] would then cater to the final end user, who more often than not, used a single passenger vehicle to transport the product home. Once the product was consumed, the end user simply disposed of the plastic packaging to preserve the food product, and the outer container -- typically another plastic or cardboard package which only served to encourage purchase. Once discarded the packaging materials were then transported by another gas powered truck or transport to take the used goods to be covered in a landfill. The concept of cradle to cradle manufacturing may have germinated in this era, but due to the nature and scale of the single-use economic cycle, it was counter productive or even suicidal for any industry to adopt a plan to reuse or recycle their resources or waste products.

Since fuel and food were inexpensive, the lifestyle of the typical American of the Opulent O’s were filled with store bought conveniences and electronic trinkets designed for obsolescence which encouraged constant replacement. Leveraged credit based upon elevated housing prices allowed consumers buying power. It was not uncommon for an American to have bought a home past their means, and taken credit based on that home’s perceived market value, called a home equity loan. These funds were then used to purchase more consumer goods -- and often with a credit card [MasterCard, Visa]. The economy was primarily based on the spending habits of the consumer. Even after the terrorist attacks on September 11, 2001, President George W. Bush urged Americans to go to the malls, and purchase houses and cars to get the economy engine moving again. The government created an environment of low interest rates and extremely easy credit in order to facilitate the consumer’s appetite.

Two major military engagements were initiated in response to the sensational terrorist attacks in America, under the banner of a “War on Terrorism.” The engagements in Afghanistan were aided by the Allied Western NATO nations, and the second invasion of Iraq resulted in the replacement of the government there, and a permanent American presence. History has shown, both of these costly involvements were to secure the oil fields, and an attempt to stabilize the region [see also Iran v America 1970-2020] -- thus insuring the flow of inexpensive oil to American business interests. Specifically those partners in Europe and China. Like the citizenry, these foreign entanglements were funded largely by credit. The U.S. had gone from a creditor nation to a debtor nation in 1988, but accelerated during the Bush and Obama Administrations.

Despite the trillions of dollars expended, the price of oil rose as industrial engines of India and China grew their GDP by 20% per year. Oil Prices rose in late 2006 because of simple supply and demand, plus speculation in the commodity markets. Soon, inflation of consumer products, fuel prices, and food began to outpace the threshold of business and consumer expendable incomes. Quickly, the slowdown of consumer spending toppled the preposterous derivative financial products of the time, wiped out the housing speculation and subsequent consumer credit bubble, and exposed widespread institutional Ponzi schemes, not dissimilar to the domino effect experienced at the end of the Roaring 1920’s.

Amazingly, the Six Corporate media companies either were misinformed or incapable of reporting the trends that were creating the problems that led to disaster, and instead reported only soft news (entertainment and sporting events which fed to their other advertising sponsored media concerns), or blatantly perpetuated partisan arguments to fill a 24 hour news cycle with surprisingly low or useless content to their audiences. The news of the day, even as late as 2010, was that of recovery and consumer confidence -- despite under reported or manipulated unemployment figures and a withering manufacturing base. Despite the ineffectual news climate, the government and other influential sources were inserting the word “unsustainable” into the collective vocabulary. At the end of the decade, even to the most optimistic, it seemed that the party was coming to a close. The start of a ‘new normal’ was discussed and contemplated.

Notable Starts: Enhanced government security, social media on networked devices, portable networked computing in communication devices, alternative energy, commercial exploration of space, TEA Party [Taxed Enough Already Party]

Influential Americans: George W. Bush (43rd President), Barack H. Obama (44th President), Larry Page and Sergey Brin, Warren Buffet, Alan Greenspan, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerburg, Steve Jobs, Sarah Palin.

Human Achievements: Completion of the Human Genome Project, Large Hadron Collider (Switzerland), 2nd Hubble Space Telescope repair by Human Astronauts, extra solar system planetoids discovered, water found on Mars and the Moon.

Notable Disasters: Terrorist Attacks on September 11th, 2001, Hurricane Katrina hits New Orleans and Mississippi, Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill, Global Warming/Climate Change.

Jun 27, 2010

The Week In Review - Sunday Comics








Yesterday there was a protest against oil in Washington DC and also "hands across the sands" which was a bunch of white people holding hands on their beach front property. Many of them had green hard hats on, which meant they wanted 'clean' energy. Of note, were the green hard hats which were made of plastic. Which is made of petroleum. Goddamn it people.

And why does America need 20 million barrels of oil A DAY?
Yeah, it's a joke about the sweatshop that made the iPhone 4, but the reality is that it's our waiting-in-line attitude and cult-ish worship of the newest and shiniest new gadget rolled out on top of the pile of pointless consumerism and one-up-manship of the Joneses. But on the bright side, this lifestyle is completely unsustainable. Just ask everyone looking for employment.

That recovery is going great! Right?! I mean, every country in the world is following Mr. Obama's advice and driving their countries into crippling debt and dependence? What? they're not? They're standing up to him? Oh, Greece scared the living crap out of everyone? Really?

And as the G8 gets around to condemning North Korea for continuing to fight the Korean War, with a mildly worded letter, the good old fashioned protesting in Toronto is being led by Tyler Durden... no, really.

No. I mean, really. That's not shopped.

What a week. See you next time.

Jun 12, 2010

Posh iPad Douche Kitchen

"This is not a gimmick. I really reckon this is going to set a precedent."

According to Melbourne hipster restaurateur Chris Lucas, the menu is going to iPad land.

Lucas, who operates the prestigious Pearl restaurant, in inner-city Richmond, is set to convert his restaurant to an all iPad operation with specially written interactive software that he claims will make it the first restaurant in Australia to employ Apple's red-hot tablet for both menus and wine lists.... and at $500.00 (US) that bread is going to cost you $20.00.

The platform, he says, will enable diners to "drill down" for information, depending on their level of interest.

"The thirst for knowledge from consumers these days is massive," says Lucas. "It doesn't matter whether it's ingredients, origins of produce or wine, and particularly Old World wine, this platform can provide as little, or as much, information as each customer wants. Okay, I can see the staff wine sommelier having ONE device... but each menu? Come on?

A North Sydney restaurant - Global Mundo Tapas - took the honour (crazy way of spelling honor) of being the first in Australia to use the tablet for menu browsing and direct ordering to the kitchen.

However, the Pearl model, which will provide a series of "drill-down tiers" from, for example, a wine with its price to tasting notes from the sommelier, to suggested food matches, recipes and on to vineyard and wine producer websites, is not about making waiters redundant, Lucas says.

"We don't want the consumer placing the order. There is still a very important role for service staff in a smart restaurant, but the graphics and functionality make this thing a very important resource. I think a lot of traditional restaurant situations can be very intimidating. This is a way to liberate the consumer." Uh, why not? You're buying $500.00 shinny televisions otherwise? At least trim the waitstaff. Remember when Roy Kroc figured that one out?

Lucas already has four iPads with a further 11 on the way, with the software launching on the dining room floor next month after five months and nearly $40,000 in development costs. Did I say $20.00 bread basket? Add a zero.

And, for diners who find the iPad menu and wine list a bridge too far, yes, there will be hard copies available. Which makes this entire exercise a waste of time -- but he gets free press from me... and that's worth it, how? Because I'm making fun of him and his douche bag iPads that don't even do anything more than 'drill down' the ingredient list? 40K for that? I'll bet with 40K he COULD have opened a second location... or improved the food. But you get a smeary shinny iPad at the nice restaurant.

I'll bet if I follow this up in a couple months, this guy is out of business.

Apr 16, 2010

iPad 1985

Kitchen Table computing power... he's excited because he got his 2k file to load on a 286 in under an hour.

Apr 3, 2010

New iPad is Out

"First! Eat it suckas!"
The saddest picture of the week.

Yes, the shinny new iPad (without 3G) is out today...
Me, I'm unimpressed so far. It makes no calls. It's not going to save print, but it IS going to be the hottest fetish device that 'must be seen' on the plane and commuter train. Sure they'll sell a boat load of them and make tons of money. Doesn't mean I want one. I guess it's the non-conformist in me speaking.

It's kind of like this... if all the cool kids get one, and then I get one, I'm just part of the herd. I see it as another semi-useful product being packaged as the 'It' Shinny Product of the month. And if everyone's got one, how cool can it possibly be? And you certainly don't want to be the last one to pick one up. You're the also-ran. I imagine the last guy to get his Member's Only Jacket.

And I'm not mocking Apple. I've bought more than my fair share of Apple products over my consumer life cycle. I was even buying Mac crap in the 90's... when people would ask me if I was brain damaged... (I never did get a straight answer on that question). So it's not that I'm not a Mac Fanboi, far from it. I've simply looked at the product, the specs and I just don't think it's useful enough at that price point. It's a fairly closed system, the lack of a keyboard or stylus kind of pisses me off - so I'm going to 'suffer' with my Motorola Droid.

My Droid has a calorie counter, stopwatch, music player and internet browser. Sure, I probably don't want to read War and Peace on the screen -- but I probably wouldn't on an iPad either. That's me.

Well, actually it might be you too. Here's a handy flow chart.