Tin Foil over New York

Have you ever heard the expression "tin-foil hat?" It is an expression used for simply to imply that someone may be paranoid. OK, maybe not may be. It seems that some of the mentally ill among us, especially the schizophrenics, believe that if they carefully place tin foil on their heads it will prevent bad things from happening. Some of these bad things include hearing voices in one's head, being abducted by aliens, or being in a terrible Mel Gibson movie. According to the Straight Dope it is not terribly effective.

The lack of effectiveness does not prevent people from trying to capitalize on the concept. In fact, this guy claims that "Not only do they protect against incoming signals, but they also block most forms of brain scanning and mind reading, keeping the secrets in your head truly secret. AFDBs are safe and operate automatically. All you do is make it and wear it and you're good to go! Plus, AFDBs are stylish and comfortable." The bolding is my doing to emphasize the most valuable bits of information in the paragraph. My favorite part is the picture of the mannequin wearing the seemingly unfashionable thing on his head.

Why do I suddenly bring this up? Well, I was reading the NY Post. No, really. I came across this article on Kathleen "KT" McFarland who is running against Hillary Clinton for the NY Senate seat. Apparently, last Thursday in a speech in NY KT had a very interesting sentence in her speech:

Hillary Clinton is really worried about me, and is so worried, in fact, that she had helicopters flying over my house in Southampton today taking pictures."

McFarland's aids claim she was joking but a GOP activist said, "She wasn't joking, she was very, very serious, and she also claimed that Clinton's people were taking pictures across the street from her house in Manhattan, taking pictures from an apartment across the street from her bedroom." Her spokesman, a different William O'Reilly said:

"It was a joke, and people laughed," O'Reilly insisted.

But three witnesses who were present said nobody in the audience cracked a smile.

"The whole room sort of went silent when she said it," one person said.

"You could see peoples' jaws drop after she said it. A guy next to me just turned to me and said, 'I guess she didn't take her Xanax today,' " the witness added.

Why do I bring this up? Well, Clinton's campaign manager, Howard Wolfson, had two excellent replies.

Reply #1: "We at the Hillary campaign wish Ms. McFarland the best and hope she gets the rest she needs."

Reply #2: "Some campaigns hand out campaign buttons; the McFarland campaign hands out tinfoil hats with antennas."

Awesome! As a public service announcement I would like you all to know that tin foil is for the head and Saranwrap is for the body:

If I get into a seminar where I feel instant draining, and I don't have time to do anything about it because my attention is too scattered and pulled and I can't focus like I need to, then I excuse myself and go slap on my Saranwrap and there's a happy ending. The only bad thing about this is: you'll sweat like a pig beneath it. Bummer.

Coming soon. The three best albums of 2005 and a three-toed dog.