Best. Movie. Ever.

I suppose I should prelude this post with the following warnings. There will be what many of the on-line community call spoilers. However, I can't imagine how this movie could possibly be spoiled. Secondly, profanity will be posted. After all, Samuel L. Jackson will be quoted. I apologize in advance for my indiscretion but this is fucking awesome! Considered yourself warned as we find out about the Best. Movie. Ever.

I am sure that any of you who frequent other blogs are aware of the existence of this movie but it is my duty to share knowledge whenever and wherever I can. On August 18th of this year (2006) New Line Cinema will release a Samuel L. Jackson film titled, Snakes On A Plane. Hell's yea!

You ask, "What is so awesome about this movie?" I reply, "What isn't?" Here are the top 6 bullet points to prove to you that Snakes On A Plane will be the Best. Movie. Ever.

• The title: You got snakes. You got a plane. You got big fucking trouble. According to Wikepedia they tried to change the title to "Pacific Air Flight 121." But luckily my main man Sammy put his foot down, "We're totally changing that back. That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title." Goddamned right.
  

• The trailer: From the opening line ("Enough is enough. I've had it with these snakes.") delivered with grace and artistry that only Samuel L. Jackson can muster to the quick cuts of rubber critters dangling from luggage bins and car alarm commercial CGI's showing giant white fangs, this could be the single greatest trailer ever. They don't give up the best moments or the best jokes or even a plot. They do give you snakes. On a plane. And a lot to look forward to in the theatre.
  

• Greatest blog entry ever. Check this out. This motherfucker was going to work on the film until they tried to change the title. And he enters a new phrase into the English lexicon. One I have adopted. I quote him.
  

Somewhere in between "Cest la vie", "Whattya gonna do?" and "Shit happens" falls my new zen koan "Snakes on a Plane".

WIFE: "Honey you stepped in dog poop again. "
ME: "Snakes on a Plane..."

• Samuel L. Jackson yelling, “IÂ’m tired of these motherfuckinÂ’ snakes on a plane." Not me. In fact, I want more snakes on the plane. Red snakes. You got red ones?
  

• Many snake deaths: Makes sense, right? In the trailer we see Sammy using a snake as a whip. Fire hatchet cutting the snake in half. Shooting of a fucking snake WHILE ON AN AIRPLANE! Punching the snake in his motherfucking reptilian head. Goddamn! That's in 20 short seconds. Imagine how many snakes there must be on this plane.

• Write the theme song contest: Yep, you can write the theme song. Submit it here. In fact, I am so inspired I am writing one tonight. If I figure out how to upload it we will all have a very snakey Christmas. If you write and produce one i will happily put it up here. Seriously. I would be happy to do it. Not kidding.
  

The only downer to this whole Snakes On A Plane thing is that we have to wait until August to see this must-see-in-a-theatre blockbuster. Until then we are stuck with The Shaggy Dog. Oh well, snakes on a plane.