Oh Jesus!

Cincinnati Right to Life has posted five billboards showing an ultrasound image of a fetus representing Jesus with the slogan, "He Came As a Baby ... Christmas Starts with Christ."

The fetus in the billboard has a halo.

"This simple illustration emphasizes that Jesus Christ came to the world both human and divine, and in so doing, sanctified the birth process for every person.

Christmas is the message of Christ’s Love for all, no matter our age, race, ability, poverty or wealth, or place or residence," the group said in a news release.

The signs are produced by ChurchAds.net, a coalition of Christian churches, including Church of England, Baptist Union, United Reformed Church, Anglican and Methodist churches. The group and a private donor paid for the Cincinnati billboards.

So, question - who paid for the ultrasound? That's like 3K a pop and since the Carpenter Union hasn't approved the ObamaCare waivers - was it paid for by public money? Would that be a violation of Church and State?

I also didn't know that Roman HealthCare was that sophisticated.

Baby Jesus Wrap Up

Advent is over! We did it.

Now a quick recap. Here's some issues I've come across this month, some plot holes - if you will - with the whole Baby Jesus story.

First off, Mark being the first of the synoptic gospels, makes no mention of Jesus being born of a virgin. But, it's possible the Mary was the virgin birth... but that's according to arcane fan fiction. John. Matthew & Luke also fail to mention Mary is a virgin. The other two synoptic gospels, have differing reasons for Jesus’ birth to a virgin.

Then, Matthew, a Greek speaking non-Jew, goes to extraordinary lengths to match Jesus’ life to Old Testament prophecy. His inadequate Hebrew linguistic skills cause him to make more than 20 interpretative errors of the Hebrew Bible. The glaring error being he cites Isaiah 7:14 as a messianic prophecy, which it is clearly is not. Further, he mistakes the Hebrew word ‘alma’ to mean virgin. Thus the Jesus myth of a virgin birth is nothing more than a translation error. Oops. I'll try to remember this argument when someone says the Bible is 100% the Word of God, or when the phrase Gospel Truth is used in polite conversation.

Luke, the only other gospel to mention virgin birth, does not make any reference to the prophecy as being the reason for Jesus’ non-sexual conception. Also, Luke writes that Jesus was born when Quirinius was the governor of Syria. You'll note that the problem is that Quirinius did not become governor of Syria until 10 years after the death of Herod, which messes up all the calenders. Either Matthew isn't correct when he says that Herod was king at the time of Jesus’ birth, or Luke is wrong. Weren't these guys in the same writer's meeting?

Despite extensive records of King Herod’s reign there is no mention of a baby killing edict of children under the age of two in the Bethlehem vicinity. Again, as Mel Brooks will tell you, it's just too Jewish. And despite extensive accounts of Caesar Augustus’ reign there are absolutely zero mentions anywhere that an empire wide census for which all citizens had to return to their ancestral home to register. You'd think there'd be a pamphlet or something laying around?

Just for fun, let's pretend that it did happen, how could such a thing ever logistically take place? You couldn't even pull that off today - have you been to the Denver airport for Thanksgiving? The Bible says that Joseph must return to Bethlehem because his ancestor David was born there, but David lived 1000 years before Joseph. So now every citizen living under the Roman empire was required to return to the homes of their ancestors from 1000 years ago? It seems that this whole bit about Jesus’ birth place to be in Bethlehem so to fill in a plot hole to match the prophecy of Micah 5:2...

But if you really stop and think about it, if Jesus was born to a virgin, then his genealogy, and specifically Joesph’s ancestry becomes irrelevant and therefore cannot be used to fulfill Old Testament prophecy. Why go through all the trouble to say that the Messiah descended from King David, if you're going to abandon the storyline next season? It's like that Russian hitman story in the Soprano's that they never tied up.

Matthew writes that Joseph was more than a little bit put out upon discovering that 14 year old Mary was pregnant. He retires to bed that night, presumably with intentions to kill her the next morning as per Mosaic Law, but an angel appears to him in a dream to comfort him that she is carrying the Holy Spirit’s child. Would the modern equivalent to this this would be Maury Povich? according to the New Testament, violates the laws of the Torah, which specify what constitutes adultery. Mary, according to the New Testament, did not conceive by her betrothed, Joseph. Therefore, she committed adultery "under law" (Deutronomy 22:23-24). As a result, the Christian claim that Jesus was born of a woman engaged to a man, yet had God as his father, must be considered to refer to an adulterous union.
Whereas Luke writes that Mary is unaware that she is pregnant but an angel appears to her to advise she is carrying God’s baby. I guess to ruin the surprise? In Galatians 4:4 Paul claims that "God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under law."

And about that "born under Law" crack, if we go ahead and presume a birth without a man's assistance, we still have the problem that Jesus was not born in accordance with the Law. His birth, God's law does not allow for God to seduce a maiden, even through the medium of the Holy Spirit. What would be the worth of a moral code that is violated by God Himself? "Oh, it's okay if I do it..." The seduction of a female by a god fits, at best, in the realm of pagan mythology or the Phantom Menace. Such a statement made in reference to the God of Israel is an abomination. Ooops again.

Oh, and remember when Luke wrote that shepherds are lead to the new born baby Jesus by an angel that visited them in a nearby field? Matthew wrote something completely contradictory. Matthew wrote that three wise men are guided by a star from the east that leads them to Jerusalem. The star takes a breather. Starts up again and leads them to the very house that baby Jesus was born in. A star! Maybe it's one of those cute cartoon ones from Dora the Explorer? I have remarked earlier that it is also a question mark to the validity of this celestial apparition since it shows up in no other culture or record -- Specifically in China, Druid, or Inca, Aztec or Mayan - who were all excellent astronomers/astrologers. You'd think they'd made a note of it?

Another couple review notes, caroling, holly, mistletoe, poinsettias, nativity scenes and candy canes, stockings and trees are all completely unrelated to Christmas - but somehow were adapted all the celebrating. Christmas cards are nothing more than 1843's answer to cutn'paste.

Well, happy day off everyone. I hope you enjoyed the Blasphemes's Advent Calender this year. I think I learned a lot - very much wish that everyone else did too.

Remember, Axial Tilt is the Reason for the Season!

Advent List

And now, for your enjoyment and merriment, a list of the previous Advent stories and revelations.

The Big Day: the 25th

Gift Giving

Oh Christmas Tree

Christmas Card

Stockings

Yule Log

Roman Census

The Creche

Caroling

Holly

Candy Canes

Mistletoe

Myrrh

Frankincense

The Color Pallet of Christmas

A Shepherds Tale

Three Wise Men (Part Three)

Three Wise Men (Part Two)

Three Wise Men (Part One)

King Herod

No Vacancy at the Inn

Joseph the Carpenter

Mary and the Immaculate Conception

I hope very much that you enjoyed this series of discovery surrounding the winter solstice celebrations. I know I learned a lot, and found it's good to ask questions and do some research. I even used books!

Feel free to drop me a line, or toss it over to Reddit and let them tear me a new one. Again, hope you found it interesting as well. Cappy.

The Big Day: the 25th

At this point we're all asking:
How did Christmas come to be celebrated on December 25?

Going back to those wacky Roman pagans. They celebrated the holiday of Saturnalia. I've been bringing it up a lot the last 23 days. What was this fun little holiday? Well, it was a week long period of lawlessness celebrated between December 17-25. During this week, the Roman courts were closed, and Roman law dictated that no one could be punished for damaging property or injuring people during the week long celebration. Whoa, what?

The festival began when Roman authorities chose “an enemy of the Roman people” to represent the “Lord of Misrule.” Each Roman community selected a victim whom they forced to indulge in food and other physical pleasures throughout the week. At the festival’s conclusion, December 25th, Roman authorities believed they were destroying the forces of darkness by brutally murdering this innocent man or woman. That sounds a lot like what we do to female pop singers or actresses?

The Greek writer, poet and historian Lucian described it for us: In addition to human sacrifice, he mentions these customs: widespread intoxication; going from house to house while singing naked; rape and other sexual license; and consuming human-shaped biscuits... Gingerbread men, anyone? So next time someone compares ancient Rome and present America - not even Larry Flint could pull this kind of 'fun' off.

By the 4th century CE, Christianity imported the Saturnalia festival hoping to bring along the unwashed pagan masses in with it. Christian leaders succeeded in converting to Christianity large numbers of pagans by promising them that they could continue to celebrate the Saturnalia as Christians, and keep their foreskin. But the circumcision of non-Jewish Christ followers is probably another topic for another day.

How fun is that? You still get ripped, rape and maim in the last week of the year. And Jesus will forgive you? What a deal!

The problem with including this hedonistic holiday in the Christian traditions, is that there was and is still nothing Christian about Saturnalia. [From certain points of view, anyway.] In attempt to throw some duct tape on this little gap, the Christian leadership named Saturnalia’s concluding day, December 25th, to be Jesus’ birthday.

But, those Christians had almost zero affect on dulling the practices of Saturnalia. As Stephen Nissenbaum, professor history at the University of Massachussetts, Amherst, writes, “In return for ensuring massive observance of the anniversary of the Savior’s birth by assigning it to this resonant date, the Church for its part tacitly agreed to allow the holiday to be celebrated more or less the way it had always been.” The earliest Christmas holidays were celebrated by drinking, sexual indulgence, singing naked in the streets. Good times!

Reverend Increase Mather of Boston observed in 1687 that “the early Christians who first observed the Nativity on December 25 did not do so thinking that Christ was born in that Month, but because the Heathens’ Saturnalia was at that time kept in Rome, and they were willing to have those Pagan Holidays metamorphosed into Christian ones. Which would be a trend in other holidays.

Because of its known pagan origin, Christmas was banned by the Puritans and its observance was illegal in Massachusetts between 1659 and 1681. However, Christmas was and still is celebrated by most Christians despite the prohibition.

But let's go back to that fun Roman blood orgy. Sounds like a lot of fun, right? Well, the Catholic Church revived the customs of the Saturnalia carnival in 1466. Pope Paul II brought it back for the amusement of his Roman citizens. He forced Jews to race naked through the streets of the city. An eyewitness account reports, “Before they were to run, the Jews were richly fed, so as to make the race more difficult for them and at the same time more amusing for spectators. They ran - amid Rome’s taunting shrieks and peals of laughter, while the Holy Father stood upon a richly ornamented balcony and laughed heartily.” And I thought the modern Catholic Church had issues.

It didn't stop there. As part of the Saturnalia carnival in the 18th and 19th centuries, rabbis of the ghetto in Rome were forced to wear clown outfits and march through the city streets to the jeers of the crowd. They would then get pelted by a variety of missiles. Kind of a reverse parade. When the Jewish community of Rome sent a petition in 1836 to Pope Gregory XVI begging him to stop the annual Saturnalia abuse of the Jewish community, he responded, “It is not opportune to make any innovation.” What a dick.

On December 25, 1881, Christian leaders whipped the Polish masses into Antisemitic frenzies that led to riots across the country. It was called “The Republic of Baboonery.” In Warsaw 12 Jews were brutally murdered, huge numbers maimed, and many Jewish women were raped. Two million rubles worth of property was destroyed. Before I get into some Nazi rant, let's move on.

So when was Jesus born?

We all know that we just assume it's December 25th in the year 1 C.E. Not 0.

The New Testament gives no date or year for Jesus’ birth. This will be review, but the earliest gospel – St. Mark’s, written about 65 CE – begins with the baptism of an adult Jesus. This suggests that the earliest Christians lacked interest in or knowledge of Jesus’ birthdate.

The year of Jesus birth was determined by Dionysius Exiguus, a Scythian monk, “abbot of a Roman monastery. His calculation went as follows:

In the Roman, pre-Christian era, years were counted from ab urbe condita (“the founding of the City” [Rome]). Thus 1 AUC signifies the year Rome was founded, 5 AUC signifies the 5th year of Rome’s reign, etc.

Dionysius received a tradition that the Roman emperor Augustus reigned 43 years, and was followed by the emperor Tiberius.

Luke 3:1,23 indicates that when Jesus turned 30 years old, it was the 15th year of Tiberius reign.

But if Jesus was 30 years old in Tiberius’ reign, then he lived 15 years under Augustus (placing Jesus birth in Augustus’ 28th year of reign).

Augustus took power in 727 AUC. Therefore, Dionysius put Jesus birth in 754 AUC.

However, as we pointed out in an earlier post about Herod, Luke 1:5 [unfortunately] places Jesus’ birth in the days of Herod, and Herod died in 750 AUC – four years before the year in which Dionysius places Jesus birth.

Joseph A. Fitzmyer – Professor Emeritus of Biblical Studies at the Catholic University of America, member of the Pontifical Biblical Commission, and former president of the Catholic Biblical Association – writing in the Catholic Church’s official commentary on the New Testament, wrote about the date of Jesus’ birth, “Though the year [of Jesus birth is not reckoned with certainty, the birth did not occur in AD 1. The Christian era, supposed to have its starting point in the year of Jesus birth, is based on a miscalculation introduced ca. 533 by Dionysius Exiguus.” Well, if he says it, I'm going to go with his expert opinion. I'm not buying a new calendar though.

The DePascha Computus, an anonymous document [more Christ fan fiction] believed to have been written in North Africa around 243 CE, placed Jesus birth on March 28. Clement, a bishop of Alexandria (d. ca. 215 CE), thought Jesus was born on November 18. Based on historical records, Fitzmyer guesses that Jesus birth occurred on September 11, 3 BCE. He's gettin' born all over the place.

So it's probably just easier they picked the Solstice.

But then what's with the 12 Days of Christmas?

*sigh* The Twelve Days of Christmas is probably the most misunderstood part of the church year among Christians who are not part of liturgical church traditions. Read Orthodox. Contrary popular belief, these are not the twelve days before Christmas, but in most of the Western Church are the twelve days from Christmas until the beginning of Epiphany (January 6th; the 12 days count from December 25th until January 5th). In some traditions, the first day of Christmas begins on the evening of December 25th with the following day considered the First Day of Christmas (December 26th). In these traditions, the twelve days begin December 26 and include Epiphany on January 6. Confused yet?

The origin and counting of the Twelve Days is as just as complicated as all the other Christmas traditions. It's all tied into the differences in calendars, church traditions, and ways to observe this holy day in various cultures. In the Western church, Epiphany is usually celebrated as the time the Wise Men or Magi arrived to present gifts to the young Jesus (Matt. 2:1-12). Which we've learned might have been when he was 2.

In some cultures, especially Hispanic and Latin American culture, January 6th is observed as Three Kings Day, or simply the Day of the Kings (Span: la Fiesta de Reyes, el Dia de los Tres Reyes, or el Dia de los Reyes Magos; Dutch: Driekoningendag). Even though December 25th is celebrated as Christmas in these cultures, January 6th is often the day for giving gifts. In some places it is traditional to give Christmas gifts for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas. Since Eastern Orthodox traditions use a different religious calendar, they celebrate Christmas on January 7th and observe Epiphany or Theophany on January 19th.

This all ought to be over just in time for Passover.

Gift Giving

Christmas is the time when capitalism goes uncloaked, when alienation blossoms, when much of the world succumbs to a frenzied potlatch of one-upmanship, debt, and disappointment.

Gift giving in general is obviously linked to the Magi's visit to the Baby Jesus. But, actually, giving gifts at the time of the solstice and the Romasn strenae (New Year) was customary way beforehand. The typical gifts were honey, fruits and lamps... but if you were rich, you were expected to give gold coins as per the tradition of the Roman Saturnalia.

Like many old customs, gift exchange was difficult to get rid of even as Christianity spread and gained official status in the Empire. Early church leaders tried to outlaw the custom, but people want what's coming to them, so it stuck. Which forced church leaders to conjure up a Christian justification for the practice. The justification was found in the Magi’s act of bearing gifts to the infant Jesus, and in the concept that Christ was a gift from God to the world, bringing in turn the gift of redemption and everlasting life. That's weaker than my grandfather's decaf coffee.

But the real explosion of gift giving, wrapping paper and all those customs we hold dear without actually questioning really gets going in Victorian England. The Victorians, who brought a renewed warmth and spirit to Christmas after it had experienced a long period of decline, made the idea of family part of the celebration. Friendliness and charity filled many hearts during their Christmas season, so giving gifts was natural. The ultimate reason for giving a gift was as an expression of kindness, a sentiment that went nicely with the historical tradition of the holiday. Damn Dickens.

The American Christmas was immediately copied, gift giving, traditions and all. America expanded on the concept with the addition of Santa Claus. The association with gifts was a natural one. Soon a funny little elf with flying reindeer (or one of his earlier models) would take responsibility for trinkets left in an ever-increasing number of stockings.

He has many names, in many customs. Father Christmas, also known as Santa Claus, Père Noël, and the Weihnachtsmann; Saint Nicholas or Sinterklaas; the Christkind; Kris Kringle; Joulupukki; Babbo Natale; Saint Basil; and Father Frost.

However, the lavish Americanized version of Christmas gift giving is relatively new to the traditions, and it comes with the commercialization of the entire month. The most famous and pervasive of these figures in modern celebration worldwide is Santa Claus, a mythical gift bringer, dressed in red, whose origins have diverse sources. The name Santa Claus is a corruption, perhaps a mispronouncing, of the Dutch Sinterklaas, which means simply Saint Nicholas. Nicholas was Bishop of Myra, in modern day Turkey, during the fourth century. Among other saintly attributes, he was noted for the care of Children, generosity, and the giving of gifts. His feast on the 6th of December came to be celebrated in many countries with the giving of gifts. Saint Nicholas traditionally appeared in bishoply attire, accompanied by helpers, and inquired about the behavior of children during the past year, before deciding whether they deserved a gift or not. By the 13th century Saint Nicholas was well known in the Netherlands, and the practice of gift-giving in his name spread to other parts of central and southern Europe. In the Reformation, many Protestants changed the gift bringer to the Christ Child or Christkindl, (corrupted in English to Kris Kringle), and the date of giving gifts changed from December the 6th to Christmas Eve.

The modern popular image of Santa Claus, however, was created in the United States, and in particular, in New York. By Don Draper. Well, not him specifically, but you get the reference. Six people including Washington Irving and the German-American cartoonist Thomas Nast can be counted as part of the team. After the American Revolutionary War, New Yorkers were looking for symbols of their non-English past. Since they were established by Dutch colonials, and was once called New Amsterdam the Dutch Sinterklaas tradition seemed a good place to start. Of course, they weren't totally happy with it, and in a committee reinvented Sinterklass into Saint Nicholas. In 1809, the New-York Historical Society convened and retroactively named Sancte Claus the patron saint of Nieuw Amsterdam (yeah, that's the Dutch name for New York City).

In 1810, Santa Claus was drawn in bishops' robes. However as new artists took over, Santa Claus developed more secular attire. Nast drew a new image of "Santa Claus" annually, beginning in 1863. He was kind of creepy and elfish. By the 1880s, Nast's Santa had evolved into the robed, fur clad, form we now recognize, perhaps based on the English figure of Father Christmas.

Santa Claus is famous around the world for giving gifts to good children. And so is Father Christmas. Pssst. They're the same dude.

Father Christmas, a jolly, well nourished, bearded man who typified the spirit of good cheer at Christmas, predates the Santa Claus character. He is first recorded in early 17th century England, but was associated with holiday merrymaking and drunkenness rather than the bringing of gifts. Hey, he is British after all. In Victorian Britain, his image was remade to match that of Santa. How's that for a feedback loop? The French Père Noël evolved along similar lines, eventually adopting the Santa image. In Italy, Babbo Natale acts as Santa Claus, while La Befana is the bringer of gifts and arrives on the eve of the Epiphany. It is said that La Befana set out to bring the baby Jesus gifts, but got lost along the way. Now, she brings gifts to all children. In some cultures Santa Claus is accompanied by Knecht Ruprecht, or Black Peter. In other versions, elves make the toys. His wife is referred to as Mrs. Claus.

But wait, what about his iconic red suit and superpowers? That starts with the Coca Cola Company. And that one little Irving poem.

The Coca-Cola Company began its Christmas advertising in the 1920s with shopping-related ads in magazines like The Saturday Evening Post. The first Santa ads used a strict-looking Claus, in the vein of Thomas Nast. But, for the record, Nast had introduced the red furs over green before Coke contracted Santa for an endorsement deal.

But why would Coke spend all that money on Santa? Up until then, folks treated Coke as a drink only for warm weather. The Coca-Cola Company began a campaign to remind people that Coca-Cola was a great choice in any month, and with every meal. This began with the 1922 slogan "Thirst Knows No Season," and continued with a campaign connecting a true icon of winter -- Santa Claus -- with the beverage. Brilliant.

In 1930, artist Fred Mizen painted a department store Santa in a crowd drinking a bottle of Coke. The ad featured the world's largest soda fountain, which was located in the department store of Famous Barr Co. in St. Louis, Mo. Mizen's painting was used in print ads that Christmas season, appearing in The Saturday Evening Post in December 1930. It snowballed from there. Pretty soon kids were sending their letters to Coca-Cola HQ rather than the Dead Letter Office.

From what I can tell, most of the other superpowers and background stories only come from the songs, Miracle on 34th Street, and the Rankin/Bass CBS specials. Rudolph was created for Montgomery Wards.

At this point, Santa has more superpowers than late 1970's Superman. But that's the American Santa...

Current tradition in several Latin American countries (such as Venezuela and Colombia) holds that while Santa makes the toys, he then gives them to the Baby Jesus, who is the one who actually delivers them to the children's homes, a reconciliation between traditional religious beliefs and the iconography of Santa Claus imported from the United States. Because that makes SO much more sense.

In Alto Adige/Südtirol (Italy), Austria, Czech Republic, Southern Germany, Hungary, Liechtenstein, Slovakia and Switzerland, the Christkind (Ježíšek in Czech, Jézuska in Hungarian and Ježiško in Slovak) brings the presents. The German St. Nikolaus is not identical with the Weihnachtsman (who is the German version of Santa Claus). St. Nikolaus wears a bishop's dress and still brings small gifts (usually candies, nuts and fruits) on December 6 and is accompanied by Knecht Ruprecht. Although many parents around the world routinely teach their children about Santa Claus and other gift bringers, some have come to reject this practice, considering it deceptive.

And then there's The Krampus! In parts of Austria, Krampus is a scary figure, most probably originating in the Pre-Christian Alpine traditions. Local tradition typically portrays these figures as children of poor families, roaming the streets and sledding hills during the holiday festival. They wore black rags and masks, dragging chains behind them, and occasionally hurling them towards children in their way. These Krampusumzüge (Krampus runs) still exist, although perhaps less violent than in the past.

Today, in Schladming, a town in Styria, over 1200 "Krampus" gather from all over Austria wearing goat-hair costumes and carved masks, carrying bundles of sticks used as switches, and swinging cowbells to warn of their approach. They are typically males in their teens and early twenties, and often get very drunk. Awesome. They roam the streets of this typically quiet town and hit people with their switches. It is not considered wise for young women to go out on this night, as they are popular targets.

In many parts of Croatia, Krampus is described as a devil, wearing chains around his neck, ankles and wrists, and wearing a cloth sack around his waist. As a part of a tradition, when a child receives a gift from St. Nicolas he is given a golden branch to represent his/hers good deeds throughout the year; however, if the child has misbehaved, Krampus will take the gifts for himself and leave only a silver branch to represent the child's bad acts. Children are commonly scared into sleeping during the time St. Nicolas brings gifts by being told that if they are awake, Krampus will think they have been bad, and will take them away in his sack. In Hungary, the Krampusz is often portrayed as mischievous rather than evil devil, wearing a black suit, a long red tongue, with a tail and little red horns that are funny rather than frightening. The Krampusz wields a Virgács, which is a bunch of golden coloured twigs bound together. Hungarian parents often frighten children with getting a Virgács instead of presents, if they do not behave. By the end of November, you can buy all kinds of Virgács on the streets, usually painted gold, bound by a red ribbon. Getting a Virgács is rather more fun than frightening, and is usually given to all children, along with presents to make them behave.

Why the hell hasn't the Krumpus been brought to America? It's got public drunkeness, beating and kidnapping of little bratty kids - and he's more hideous than Freddy Kruger! Maybe Halloween town was fighting over rights issues. It's a messy contract dispute.

Oh Christmas Tree

Funny how we haven't gotten to this one yet. I mean, how does one rationally cut down a perfectly good carbon trap, ship it from the farthest northern region of Michigan, slap it on to a car and then put it in the house - then put shinny glass things on it, while then either lighting candles on a dried out fire stick, or wrapping it with electric lights? And this has to do with the Christ Child... er, how, exactly?

And isn't it kind of blasphemous too? As Jeremiah the prophet admonishes those who dare to erect such a pagan artifact: "Thus saith the Lord, learn not the way of the heathen...For the customs of the people are vain; for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not." (Jeremiah 10:2-6)

To find the origin of Christmas trees, again we go to pre-Christian (read icky dirty Pagans) Northern Europe. The nice folks who lived there believed that trees, especially fruit trees and evergreens, were the embodiment of powerful beings. But, why would they then cut these trees down and put them in the house? Wouldn't that, you know, kill the being inside it? Right, they thought so too! So they didn't. Now we have to jump forward to the fourteenth century - where on December 24th, as part of the miracle play was the story of Adam and Eve. They'd hang an apple in an evergreen to symbolize the paradise tree. Hey! Guess where those shinny red things you hang come from? There you go, we're learning stuff!

About two hundred years later in sixteenth century the Germans began hanging evergreens in their homes - which could have been a misguided attempt at the Yule Log (see our earlier post) or they were just really cold and would rather look at the tree in their home than outside? The German Christbaüme, or Christ Trees, were decorated with fruit, candies, cookies, and Eucharist wafers.

There's a rumor that Martin Luther is the first person to put candles on the tree, and therefore invented Christmas lights - but the funny thing about history is that he was probably trying to burn the Christmas tree down, and it was misinterpreted as a new decoration.

The mostly German tradition probably would have stayed with the Glüwein, and a few expats living in the US. Except a few German merchants gave one to Queen Victoria. Well, actually, it was for her boyfriend Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg. And as soon as the ladies saw etchings in Godey's Lady's Book (the Oprah of the Victorian Age) everyone had to have one... and they did. And no one ever once asked why.'

Artificial trees were also a German invention, but they were goose feathers that were dyed green. Now that's Festive! But this was a response to the deforestation of Germany. In the 1930's the Addis Brush Company made fake trees from brush bristles. Couldn't find the pipe cleaners, I guess? And like in the Charlie Brown special - there really were aluminum trees in the late 50's. Probably to go with that new aluminum siding on their homes? Today, most are made in China out of PVC or some other type of petroleum based plastic. Aproximately 10% of artificial Christmas trees are using virgin suspension PVC resin and despite being plastic most artificial trees are not recyclable or biodegradable.

Should you go plastic or real? Well, we debated that one way back in 2007.

Winter Solstice 2009

At exactly 12:04 p.m. UT (3:04 a.m. Eastern Standard Time) on December 21, the Sun will have reached its most southerly declination. Over the past six months, for the folks in the northern hemisphere, the every day peak of the Sun’s arc across the daytime sky has gotten lower. At 12:04 UT it reached its lowest point. Tomorrow, and now every day until June 21, the Sun will be a bit higher in the sky at local noon. June 21 at 05:45 UT, and be at the highest point it can get. Then the process reverses again.

We call those points in time the solstices.

"Solstice" is derived from the Latin phrase for "sun stands still."

The Winter Solstice has always been a time of celebration, because ancient people were intricately tied to the goings on of the sky. Their constant sky-watching was tied to a life in agriculture. The stars were their calender, GPS, and DirecTV. It might have helped that there was zero light pollution, save for a cloudy night here and there. The people of that time knew that the Winter Solstice signaled that the Sun had begun it's new cycle of life. Eventually spring - and more importantly, food - would return. The promise of another growing season would be fulfilled.

Throughout history, humans have celebrated the winter solstice, often with an appreciative eye toward the return of summer sunlight.

Massive prehistoric monuments such as Ireland's mysterious Newgrange tomb (video) are aligned to capture the light at the moment of the winter solstice sunrise.

Germanic peoples of Northern Europe honored the winter solstice with Yule festivals—the origin of the still-standing tradition of the long-burning Yule log. We have discussed.

The Roman feast of Saturnalia, honoring the God Saturn, was a weeklong December feast that included the observance of the winter solstice. Romans also celebrated the lengthening of days following the solstice by paying homage to Mithra—an ancient Persian god of light.

Many modern pagans attempt to observe the winter solstice in the traditional manner of the ancients.

"There is a resurgent interest in more traditional religious groups that is often driven by ecological motives," said Harry Yeide, a professor of religion at George Washington University. "These people do celebrate the solstice itself."

You and I celebrate the Solstice in modern times, as well. But we’re all far more sophisticated these days - we cover up this ancient pagan sun worship with more important religious customs and countless trips to Target.

Happy Winter Solstice, everyone.

Christmas Cards

Christmas cards originated in England over 150 years ago. "You cannot reach perfection though you try however hard to there's always one more friend or so you should have sent a card to," wrote Richard Armour. Sir Henry Cole knew exactly what Armour was saying. The founder of the Victoria and Albert Museum in London had so many Christmas greetings to send that handwriting them was impossible. Yet he wanted to make his friends aware of the need to help the destitute on that holiday. What a champ.

His 1843 answer to cut n' paste? Sir Henry commissioned John Calcott Horsley to paint a card showing the feeding and clothing of the poor. A center panel displayed a happy family embracing one another, sipping wine and enjoying the festivities. And where did his good intentions get him? The card drew criticism because showing a child enjoying a sip of wine was considered "fostering the moral corruption of children." Crap! "A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to You" was printed on that first card. Legend says Sir Henry didn't send any cards the following year, but the custom became popular anyway.

Holiday cards designed by Kate Greenaway, the Victorian children's writer and illustrator and Frances Brundage and Ellen H. Clapsaddle, were favorites in the late 1800's and early 1900's. Most were elaborate , decorated with fringe, silk and satin. Some were shaped liked fans and crescents; others were cut into the shapes of bells, birds, candles and even plum puddings. You know, for the poor. Some folded like maps or fitted together as puzzles; other squealed or squeaked. Pop-up Cards reveled tiny mangers or skaters with flying scarves gliding around a mirrored pond. Sure beats the one I made at Costco.

For more than 30 years, Americans had to import greeting cards from England. Apparently it was just too high concept or high tech for Americans to figure out. In 1875, Louis Prang, a German immigrant to the U.S., opened a lithographic shop with $250 and published the first line of U.S. Christmas cards. His initial creations featured flowers and birds, unrelated to the Christmas scene. By 1881, Prang was producing more than five million Christmas cards each year. His Yuletide greetings began to feature snow scenes, fir trees, glowing fireplaces and children playing with toys. His painstaking craftsmanship and lithographic printing have made his cards a favorite of collectors today. Christmas Cards have changed since the days of Sir Henry and Louis Prang. They now sport comics, jokes and clever verses. You'll find these at Spencers at the mall. But those that picture timeless and simple settings such as excited children around a Christmas tree, Nativity scenes, nature scenes and carolers singing in the snow are still in the highest demand today.

It seems the trend will become just an elaborate Facebook post, somehow sponsored by Hallmark in the next couple years.

Stockings

Christmas stockings are hung near the chimney on Christmas Eve for Santa Claus to fill it with goodies. It is an empty sock or a bag that is given the shape of a sock. The children in United States and some other countries have been following this tradition of hanging a Christmas stocking, believing that Father Christmas will fill it with sweets and gifts for them. The items that are believed to be stuffed in the Christmas stocking by Santa Claus are known as stocking stuffers. They're at the front door of your local Target store, in the bins marked One Dollar.

The tradition of the Christmas stockings apparently began by a silly little story about a kind noble man who had three daughters. The wife of the nobleman had died off and the daughters and their father were left in a state of sorrow. The daughters had to do all the work in the house. When the daughters became young and eligible for marriage, the poor father could not afford to give the huge dowries to their husbands.

One evening the daughters, after washing their stockings hung them near the fire place to be dried. Santa Claus being moved by the plight of the daughters came in and put in three bags of gold one in each of the stocking hanging by the chimney. The next morning the family noticed the gold bags and the nobleman had enough for his daughter’s marriage. The daughters got married and they lived happily ever after. Since the story, children have been hanging Christmas stockings. Not surprisingly. This also explains about 72% of all the gold coins sold around the Solstice - the other 18% going toward Dradle wagers.

Some say the Dutch introduced the Christmas stocking to America. It was told that during the 16th Century, children in Holland would leave their clogs by the hearth filled with straw for the reindeer (or "donkey"). Oops another significant translation error.

A treat for Santa was left in the house near the fire. In return "Sinterclass" would leave the children treats. Later the clogs would become stockings, and the Saint known to all would become "Santa Claus."

But here's the take away - Christmas stockings are supposed to have the gifts given by Santa Claus. The other gifts are wrapped in present papers and placed near the Christmas tree were from, you know, real people. It is believed that a child who misbehaves during the year will not get a gift in their Christmas stocking. Or will get coal... but considering until the mid 1950's, coal was still a pretty good gift. The Christmas stockings are traditionally hung on the fireplace. But as most of the modern homes do not have a fireplace, any location is suitable for hanging the Christmas stockings. In many traditions the Christmas stocking is to be stuffed by a gift that will stimulate the five senses. Oranges, candy and Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifles. The gift given by Santa Claus would be something to eat, a thing that makes a sound and gives a pleasant view to the eyes or gift which has a lovely fragrance. Gunpowder is more of a surfer kind of stink, but it's pleasant.

In the present modern culture there are special Christmas stockings available in the market. Like Dora the Explorer, Cars, and whatever licensed property you might enjoy. I'd prefer an A-Team stocking. Some families design unique stockings for each family member. In Puerto Rico, children put flowers and greens in small boxes and place them under their beds for the camels of the Three Kings; Italian children leave their shoes out the night before Epiphany, January 5, for La Befana the good witch; and in France, the children place their shoes by the fireplace.

Yule Log

Ah the traditional burning of the massive Yule log. Ceremoniously dragged in from many hands and placed on the hearth on Christmas Eve. Kind of a mini Burning Man festival. The obviousness of the custom was to keep a chilly house warm. But there's also a ritualistic aspect to it as well.

"Yule" in Anglo-Saxon, "geol" was the winter solstice in England. Celtics and Teutonic people got into it as well. They'd burn a huge log to honor the return of the sun. Kind of a carbon sacrifice, if you will. Both as an offering and as a symbol. Who are we to judge. Just look at candy canes.

There's also a cyclical nature to the whole thing, as this year's log has to be lit from last year's log. No, I don't think it was burning all year.

Other beliefs crept into the Log ceremony as well. If girls with unwashed hands were to touch the log, it would cause the fire to burn dully. And also those who helped drag the log would be protected from witchcraft all year long. There's also a note of a practice of drawing chalk around the log before it was placed into the flame. One author thinks it's a recollection of human sacrifice. That seems way to CSI Miami for me. I think they drew chalk around the log to prevent ants from getting into the house. That's the most rational answer.

Now, since this is Blasphemes, I must also discuss the more important and modern Yule Log tradition - and that is The Yule Log TV show which airs traditionally on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, originally on New York City television station WPIX but now on many other stations. A radio simulcast (of the musical portion) was broadcast on sister station WPIX-FM.

The program, which has run anywhere from two to four hours in length, is a film loop of a yule log burning in a fireplace, with a traditional soundtrack of classic Christmas music playing in the background. It airs without commercial interruption.

The Yule Log was created in 1966 by Fred M. Thrower, President and CEO of WPIX, Inc. Inspired by an animated Coca-Cola commercial a year earlier that showed Santa Claus at a fireplace, he envisioned this television program as a televised Christmas gift to those residents of "The Big Apple" who lived in apartments and homes without fireplaces. Ahh... the warm glow of the Zenith.

The original film was shot at Gracie Mansion, the official residence of the Mayor of New York City John Lindsay. An estimated $4,000 (US) of advertising along with a roller derby telecast that night was canceled on Christmas Eve for the show's inaugural airing. Thrower, and WPIX-FM programming director Charlie Whittaker selected the music, largely based on the easy listening format the radio station had at that time, with the likes of Percy Faith, Nat King Cole, Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops, Mantovani and The Ray Conniff Singers to name a few. During the shoot, the producers removed a protective fire grate so that the blaze could be seen to its best advantage. Unfortunately, a stray spark damaged a nearby antique rug valued at $4,000.

The program was both a critical and ratings success, and by popular demand, it was rebroadcast for 23 consecutive years, beginning in 1967. However, by 1969 it was already clear that the original 16 mm film was quickly deteriorating from wear and needed to be re-shot. (In addition, the original loop was only seventeen seconds long, resulting in a visibly jerky and artificial appearance.) Station producer William Cooper, a future recipient of a Peabody Award, again asked to shoot the loop at Gracie Mansion. However the mayor's office, remembering the mishap with the rug, refused permission. So in 1970, WPIX found a fireplace with similar andirons at a residence in California and filmed a burning log on 35 mm film there on a hot August day. This version, whose loop runs approximately six minutes and three seconds, has been the one viewers have seen ever since.

It also available on DVD at dollar stores everywhere.

Blasphemes Chanukah

Just on the odd chance you thought that I was spending too much time with the Advent, pointing out some 25 odd things about Christmas....

Here's your Chanukah Ham. Yum Yum. Non-Koshery goodness.

Roman Census

Luke writes: "Now it came about in those days that a decree went out from Caesar Augustus, that a census be taken of all the inhabited earth. This was the first census taken while Quirinius was governor of Syria. And all were proceeding to register for the census, everyone to his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family of David, in order to register, along with Mary, who was engaged to him, and was pregnant" (Luke 2:1-5).

Okay, if this went down how he described it, there would have been utter chaos; have you been in the Denver airport around Thanksgiving? Everyone had to return to their ancestral home, and by ancestral - that means retracing your family tree to 1000 years ago. Imagine an American dealing with that decree. Good luck with that.

In Matthew, Mary and Joseph appear to live in Bethlehem and did not need to travel there prior to Jesus' birth. The author of Luke had to get Mary to Bethlehem to have her baby in order to have what he believed was prophetic fulfillment of Micah 5:1. For this he devised a census using as his basis an actual census that took place around the time when Jesus was born.

The three empire-wide censuses, actually. There was one in 28 B.C., 8 B.C., and 14 A.D. In all probability the one in 8 B.C. is the one the Luke mentions in the Christmas story. Even though scholarship normally dates Christ's birth between 4 and 7 B.C., the 8 B.C. census fits because in all likelihood it would have taken several years for the bureaucracy of the census to reach Palestine.

What Luke describes has the makings of a chaotic situation of unprecedented magnitude. The people involved would have had to travel throughout the length and breath of the Roman Empire, clogging the roads and disrupting the smooth running of the imperial system in every province of the Empire. In the course of their journey, they would be traveling, for the most part, over extremely poor roads once they left the major Roman highways. Available services to travelers would be strained to the breaking point. Certainly in the eastern provinces, of which Judea was part, such a census would present a serious military danger, for the Parthians, then Rome's strongest antagonist in the area, would have had an excellent opportunity to attack. Roman troops on the march would find it extremely difficult to compete with the tremendous mass of civilians on their way to or from registration. It is hard to imagine the Romans so incompetent or unrealistic as to throw the entire Empire into such a chaotic state by carrying out the census described by the evangelist.

It is unusual that an event of this magnitude should go unnoticed. Yet no contemporary writer mentions this disruptive census or the turmoil it would have engendered. Indeed, if this census took place in Judea it is strange that Josephus never mentioned it in any of his writings. It is obvious that Luke introduced the tale to explain still another legendary tale, that is, how it came about that Joseph and Mary went to Bethlehem at this time.

Some scholars have scoffed at the notion that people in faraway Palestine (such as Joseph and Mary) would have had to travel to their ancestral birth place for a census. But we have evidence to show that such traveling was indeed done with a Roman census, in Egypt.

A Roman census document, dated 104 A.D., has been discovered in Egypt, in which citizens were specifically commanded to return to their original homes for the census. Another census document from 119 A.D. has been found in which an Egyptian man identifies himself by giving (1) his name and the names of his father, mother, and grandfather; (2) his original village; (3) his age and profession; (4) a scar above his left eyebrow; (5) his wife's name and age, his wife's father's name; (6) his son's name and age; (6) the names of other relatives living with him. The document is signed by the village registrar and three official witnesses. This latter document is of special interest, because it gives us an idea of the kind of information that Joseph and Mary would have had to provide for the census.

Roman Census Taker: "Any children?"

Mary: "Give me a minute."

Roman Census Taker: "Who's the father?"

Mary: "Uh, that's a long story."

The Creche

In the year 1223, St. Francis of Assisi, the Andrew Llyod Webber of Christianity, introduced a living crib scene at his Christmas Eve Mass in the village of Grecchio, Italy. He wanted to inspire greater religious feelings, and help in the interpretation of the story of the birth of Jesus in an attempt to place the emphasis of Christmas upon the worship of Christ rather than upon secular materialism and gift giving. Yeah, that worked out pretty well, right? People acted it out. Except for il Bambino - he was wax... probably employed to get around having a SAG Representative on set. News of this live nativity scene spread like the bubonic plague and people imitated the crib figures in their local churches, and then they wanted them in their homes, and eventually Macy's offered a Hummel Nativity scene.

Until The Norman invasion of Britain, Christian imagery tended to be very Byzantine style characterized by formality of design, frontal stylized presentation of figures, rich use of color especially gold. The stories in the Nativity Cycle were often painted onto church walls as a visual aid to largely illiterate congregations. The Normans, with the blessing of Rome, set about destroying these images by painting over them, because they were “Not Western,” and a new order was evolved. However, as they covered all the old picture-stories with Limewash, they were actually being preserved rather than destroyed. Today many restored churches in England have this wonderful old witness to the early stories of Christ's nativity for all to see. I'm actually conflicted to what I think about this, so let's move on.

The tradition in England, involved baking a mince pie in the shape of a manger to hold the Christ child until dinnertime when the pie was eaten. When the Puritans banned Christmas celebrations in the seventeenth century, they also passed specific legislation to outlaw such pies, calling them "Idolaterie in crust". I am going to have to say that I am agreeing with the Puritans here.

Today, there are hundreds upon hundreds of styles and materials used to make Nativity Scenes. From fine Italian marbles, full-sized wax museum pieces, ornate sculptured Teak wood, to Legos and Playmobile, and my personal favorite Fisher Price Little People - all representing the miracle of the birth and adoration of Jesus Christ.

Public nativity scenes have not escaped controversy nor vandalism. Those in public buildings or on public lands have sparked lawsuits in the United States, and a life-sized scene in the United Kingdom featuring waxworks celebrities provoked outrage in 2004. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) notes animal abuse connected with living nativity displays. A city council in Spain provoked protest when it forbade a traditional character in a public nativity scene, and, across America, the theft of ceramic or plastic nativity figurines from outdoor displays is not an infrequent occurrence during the Christmas season. Damn teenagers love stealing Baby Jesus.

Also, I should share that I discovered that in Catalonia, they have quite an unusual tradition. They put up a statue known as a caganer. The caganer can be found hidden far away from the manger and other characters, and for good reason. The word caganer literally translates to the "pooper", in English. This is what the little statue is doing. No wonder it is placed in an obscure position. The meaning of this tradition has been lost, but some think this tradition has gone on for many reasons. Firstly, tradition. But also for humor, a symbol of fertilizing the earth, equality of man, and also naturalism. Whatever the meaning, this is a part of Catalonian tradition. I think the Poop Smith would be a perfect addition to your tradition. You can call him Cap'n, if you want.

PS: The nativity scene with IG-88, Big Boy, Mister Burns, Playmobile Jesus, and Danté of the movie "Clerks" is probably my new favorite. It materialized in an office at the PBS television network: Link.

Caroling

The word 'carol' like 'choral' and 'chorus' referred not to song, but dance. That's right Footloose fans! Apparently ring dances performed to flute music were popular with the ancient Greeks (current Greeks too if they have too much Retsina). And since the Romans ripped off everything the Greeks did, it got popular in Italy too. Then it migrated to England when the Romans invaded. Ring-around-dancing stayed popular through medieval times. By the thirteenth century 'carol' had come to mean not dance - but the music instead. Today, only the second meaning remains. Isn't that spiffy? Wonder what else has changed meaning so dramatically in two thousand years?

Back to X-mas traditions, joyous songs date back to St. Francis of Assisi. He is supposed to have led the singing at a nativity scene that he set up in Gerccio. Maybe it's because he wrote the Latin hymn, "Psalmus in Nativitate," and wanted to make sure it got a good showing? Inevitably, Christmas songs spread from Italy to Europe and were extremely popular - that is, until Martin Luther's Reformation - where the Puritans decided that they were better than, "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer."

During the seventeenth century lots of carols were lost. Where do all the carols that we sing today come from then? Well, glad you asked... because I was going to tell you anyways. Most of our tunes are from the Methodists who revived the tradition. "Hark the Herald Angels Sing," was from Charles Wesley. "Joy to the World" comes from Isaac Watt - an English poet. And "O Holy Night" is French, and "Silent Night," is German - both from the 1800's as well. "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear," "O Little Town of Bethlehem" and "We Three Kings," are all nineteenth century American tunes.

This practice of singing Christmas songs, you know, outside - used to be in front of the Church near the nativity scenes. It was a natural next step for these Christmas Carolers to start walking through the neighborhoods around the churches sharing their festive songs. Caroling started to decline in popularity as people were able to hear and play the same songs on the radio and eventually on their own record players. And if you've ever looked at the record section of your favorite thrift store, you'll know what I'm talking about. However, every once in a while you still might catch a group of walking through neighborhoods and sharing the Christmas message much as they have done for the past 1000 years. I guess it depends if their cable or DirecTV are out.

Poinsettia

You can find a poinsettia's scarlet, star-shaped leaves everywhere in December. Poinsettias are one of the most popular Christmas decorations around, with more than $200 million in sales every holiday season. But how did this plant from the Mexican countryside enter into the Christmas time tradition? Who brought it to America? Are it's leaves really fatal?

Poinsettias (Euphorbia Pulcherrima) have a rich cultural history. Tropical shrubs, which have about 100 different species and reach heights of up to 12 feet tall in their natural habitat, were known as "Cuetlaxochitl" to the Aztecs and used to dye clothing and cure fevers. Poinsettias were also used in Aztec religious ceremonies since the Aztecs considered the color red a symbol of purity. You know what else the Aztec's did...

The poinsettia's leaves are not flower petals. The flowers are actually the smaller, yellow buds in a poinsettia's center. These bracts -- the upper portion of the leaves -- are famously red, although they actually bloom in a variety of hues, such as pink, white and yellow. Poinsettias, also known as the "lobster flower" or "Mexican flame leaf," bloom in December, making them an ideal holiday flower.

Poinsettias didn't arrive in the United States until the 19th century. The plant is named for the first U.S. Ambassador to Mexico, Dr. Joel Roberts Poinsett, who introduced America to the poinsettia in 1828, after discovering it in the wilderness in southern Mexico. Dr. Poinsett, who dabbled in botany, sent cuttings of the plant back to his South Carolina home. While it wasn't initially embraced, its caught on over the years, and by the 20th century it was a holiday mainstay. In fact, National Poinsettia Day is celebrated on Dec. 12, honoring both the plant and the man who brought it to America. Had I known that, I would have cleverly posted this on the 12th. Alas...

But what does a poinsettia have to do with Christmas? One interpretation of the plant is as a symbol of the Star of Bethlehem, the heavenly body that led the three magi, or wise men, to the place where Christ was born. A Mexican legend tells of a girl who could only offer weeds as a gift to Jesus on Christmas Eve. When she brought the weeds into a church, they blossomed into the beautiful red plants we know as poinsettias, known as Flores de Noche Buena in Mexico (Spanish for "flowers of the holy night"). Why does the Nativity have so many children visiting Christ, and offering nothing but garbage?

A common myth that has existed for generations is that a poinsettia's leaves are poisonous. It's probably not a good idea to have a competitive eating contest with poinsettia - but it won't kill you. Like many things in Mexico, it causes diarrhea. Somewhere I read that some one did research and it concluded that a child could consume as many as 500 poinsettia bracts without any toxic effects [source]. I can't imagine getting funding for that kind of research; and I constantly think about the kid who ate 501 and died.... Now a child who accidentally nibbles on a leaf may not feel well, but the consequences won't be fatal. But try to keep Jr. away from the bright red pretty plant, okay, SuperDad?

However, this doesn't mean that poinsettias are meant to be eaten. If ingested, this plant can cause stomach irritation and discomfort. Cats and children also may choke on the fibrous parts, so be sure to keep these plants out of their reach. I'm not saying if you hate your girlfriend's cat, and show up with some pretty poinsettias...

Oh, and the sticky white sap also may cause skin irritation for some people.

And don't put it in the cold - it hates the cold. And drafts... what a pain in the ass.

All this for a plant that hit the lotto for matching some arbitrary colors, and bloom at the right time of the year.

Holly

The Druids believed the holly or ilex was sacred. They thought this plant stayed green year round because it was especially favored by the sun. Christian legend says one winter night, the holly miraculously grew leaves out of season in order to hide the Holy Family from Herod's soldiers. Since then, it has been an evergreen as a token of Christ's gratitude. My guess is that the story originated from a holly farmer who was sitting around the farm asking, "what the hell am I going to do with all this crap?"

Holly is one of the trees said to be the tree of Christ's cross. For those of you keeping track, I think we're up to ten varieties of tree now? Some legend tells us that the trees of the forests refused the defilement of the cross, splintering into tiny fragments at the touch of the ax. Only the holly behaved like an ordinary tree, allowing itself to be cut and formed into a cross. It is as a Passion symbol that holly is found in pictures of various saints. It's presence indicates that the saint is either reflecting upon Christ's Passion or foretelling it. Again with the foreshadowing. There's more death than birth in this whole advent scene - if you're paying close attention.

In Germany, holly is called Christdorn in memory of Christ's crown of thorns. According to legend, the holly's branches were woven into a painful crown and placed on Christ's head while the soldiers mocked him saying, "Hail, King of the Jews." The holly's berries used to be white but Christ's blood left them with a permanent crimson stain.

Another made up tale says that a little orphan boy was living with the shepherds when the angels came to announce the birthday party. Having no gift for the baby, the child wove a crown of holly branches for its head. But when he lay it before Christ, he became ashamed of it's poverty and began to cry. Miraculously, Jesus touched the crown and it began to sparkle while the orphan's tears turned into beautiful scarlet berries. That's about as realistic as the drummer boy giving a drum solo to a newborn. No, being allowed to give a drum solo to a newborn.

There are some superstitions surround the holly. But you say superstition if it's not part of the recognized church legend, only someone else's beliefs. It is a man's plant and is believed to bring good luck and protection to men while ivy brings the same to women. It is thought that whoever brings the first sprig of Christmas holly into the home will wear the pants that year. It was hung about the doors and windows to keep away witches, spells, evil spirits, goblins, and lightning. On Christmas eve, English virgins hung holly on their beds to protect their virtue from Christmas goblins. However, elves and fairies were welcome in British households, and sprigs of holly were hung as hiding places for them.

Romans gave gifts of holly to their friends during Saturnalia as good luck charms and protection against evil. Because of all these superstitions, early Christians were forbidden to decorate with this plant, especially during Saturnalia. Funny how easily it was adapted into the Christian solstice celebration?