NOlympics

No Olympics for Richard Daleyland. Not Yours.

First off, Obama went to Copenhagen to fulfill his Pharaoh's wishes to get the Olympic Torch in Washington Park. Oprah and his wife weren't enough - or worse - caused so much damage, that the big guy had to cancel Jay Leno to hop on Air Force One to directly appeal to the Olympic committee. These were to be Obamalympics.

However, since Mr. Obama has been apologizing and bad mouthing his country every time he left the house, it makes me wonder - who the hell would want to do business with crappy old America? And I expect everyone on Sunday morning to say that the "Ego has Landed" or some clever little tag line like that -- but the reality is, did he have any clout to toss around in the first place? I think the whole world just gave him the finger.

“I think to be eliminated in the first round is very embarrassing, to put it mildly,” said Stephen Hess, a Presidential Historian at George Washington University.

Oh don't worry Obama fans, the pundits will simply blame Bush's heightened security screening as the reason Chicago and the USA lost the bid. Couldn't have possibly been the 10.25% Todd Stroger sales tax, right?

Meanwhile, His Holiness Pharaoh Daley the Second showed that while his game of corruption and cronies is unparalleled in Illinois, he's still a second rate amateur in the eyes of one panel. The Olympic Committee. I mean, compared to the Olympic Committee, Daley's a n00b. To throw down the point, for the committee to cut Chicago in the first round - In High School terms: they gave Daley a wedgie in front of the cheerleaders. In South Park Terms: They fed his parents to him in a bowl of chili, had Radiohead insult him and licked up the tears falling on his cheeks. Obviously, Richie planned on leveling up AFTER he got the Olympics, not before. Was that his fatal flaw?

Someone said, "Eh. Would have cost more than it was worth anyway. And this way, maybe Rio will actually do something about the endemic poverty and violence there." Yeah, well, the exact same thing can be said about Chicago! Maybe you haven't heard about 16 year old Derrion Albert being beaten to death? Oh, I can probably show you some video of that.

That couldn't have helped. Sh*t, if you're going to get murdered at the Olympics, at least Rio is warm in the summer.
You might even see some tit, and have a cigarette that isn't 8 bucks a pack.

I'm happy for the folks in Rio. Just try not to kill the visitors.

Next week on The Wonderful World of Daley: SCOTUS to review the suppression of the Second Amendment in the Chicago Dynasty. Stay tuned!