Utah Dry No More

To explain exactly how bad it's getting out there - Utah, the driest of dry states is about to ratify the 21st Amendment.

Utah Legislators and Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. announced a deal Monday that would make the most sweeping changes in decades to Utah's liquor laws, including an end to the state's one-of-a-kind private-club law.

Huntsman, who made doing away with the nettlesome club law a priority before the session, said it was a task that "many thought to be quite impossible early on." Why? Because of the LDS "Mormon" church - which about two-thirds of Utahns belong to (and more than 80 percent of legislators belong), which eschews evil nasty alcohol consumption.

The idea, is of course, to generate tax revenue on those blasphemous tourists who bring in about 6 Billion to Utah.

But there's a catch. There's always a catch thirsty Utah Blasphemes readers... The private clubs are going away, replacing them with a scanner to verify the validity of the identification presented by someone under age 35. Data would be stored on-site for a week. There would be no centralized law-enforcement database.[so they claim]

Second, the mixing of alcohol must be concealed from the children. For restaurants that serve alcohol, the bill would do away with the so-called "Zion Curtain," a glass barrier that servers must walk around to distribute drinks to patrons. Under the proposed changes, bartenders would now be able to pass a drink to a patron across the bar.

Also, don't get nutty and even THINK about getting a DUI in Utah. Repeat offenders could forfeit their vehicles; underage drunken drivers could lose their licenses; and bar owners could face more legal liability if drunken patrons are involved in accidents.

No word on how high that tax is going to be. Hope you like the hot drunk chicks added to make this article better.