Jul 6, 2007

Sports Bits

  • Bane of my Dusty Baker's Cub tenure was a feisty little shortstop named Neifi Perez. He could always get you that solo shot when your team was down ten or that crucial strikeout with the bases loaded to end a game. Well, it seems like you don't get stats like his (career .276) through hard work. You earn them the Balco way. Yep, Neifi was suspended for 25 games for testing positive to a "stimulant." I foresee a team that may need a Jaque Jones.

  • Tank Johnson's blood alcohol level was .072, under the legal limit of .08. The Bears had released him after his arrest because they did not release him when he was involved with shootings, drugs, and babies. See, the Bears wanted this thing called money. The best way for an NFL team to get this money thing is to go to and win the Superbowl. They needed him for that. But then they were angry because they lost the Superbowl and did not want to pay him because their stud lineman is coming back and is looking good. So they pulled the old "Duke LaCrosser" and fire his dumb ass for being sober.

  • President Bush was at the Cubs-Nationals game last night. When ask he about the Commisioner he was said, "He's going a heckuva job, that Sealy!"

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Capn said...

Uh, you must have pissed that Rodrigo guy off...

But man oh man - Niffi and Tank, and Bush and Bud... all our favorites in just ONE article. Keep up the good work, Uno Jefè! (whatever)

Anonymous said...

Hey, he thankful.

So long my friend. Oh, and I am way scared to click the links. I assume they are for shirts? Do they have a Tank Johnson, Neifi Perez, and Bud Selig shirt with a B.O.M. logo?