Sunday Comics

This week's special Calvin and Hobbs, the Snowmen collection. Specifically for those Blasphemes readers on the East Coast.

Stockings

Christmas stockings are hung near the chimney on Christmas Eve for Santa Claus to fill it with goodies. It is an empty sock or a bag that is given the shape of a sock. The children in United States and some other countries have been following this tradition of hanging a Christmas stocking, believing that Father Christmas will fill it with sweets and gifts for them. The items that are believed to be stuffed in the Christmas stocking by Santa Claus are known as stocking stuffers. They're at the front door of your local Target store, in the bins marked One Dollar.

The tradition of the Christmas stockings apparently began by a silly little story about a kind noble man who had three daughters. The wife of the nobleman had died off and the daughters and their father were left in a state of sorrow. The daughters had to do all the work in the house. When the daughters became young and eligible for marriage, the poor father could not afford to give the huge dowries to their husbands.

One evening the daughters, after washing their stockings hung them near the fire place to be dried. Santa Claus being moved by the plight of the daughters came in and put in three bags of gold one in each of the stocking hanging by the chimney. The next morning the family noticed the gold bags and the nobleman had enough for his daughter’s marriage. The daughters got married and they lived happily ever after. Since the story, children have been hanging Christmas stockings. Not surprisingly. This also explains about 72% of all the gold coins sold around the Solstice - the other 18% going toward Dradle wagers.

Some say the Dutch introduced the Christmas stocking to America. It was told that during the 16th Century, children in Holland would leave their clogs by the hearth filled with straw for the reindeer (or "donkey"). Oops another significant translation error.

A treat for Santa was left in the house near the fire. In return "Sinterclass" would leave the children treats. Later the clogs would become stockings, and the Saint known to all would become "Santa Claus."

But here's the take away - Christmas stockings are supposed to have the gifts given by Santa Claus. The other gifts are wrapped in present papers and placed near the Christmas tree were from, you know, real people. It is believed that a child who misbehaves during the year will not get a gift in their Christmas stocking. Or will get coal... but considering until the mid 1950's, coal was still a pretty good gift. The Christmas stockings are traditionally hung on the fireplace. But as most of the modern homes do not have a fireplace, any location is suitable for hanging the Christmas stockings. In many traditions the Christmas stocking is to be stuffed by a gift that will stimulate the five senses. Oranges, candy and Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifles. The gift given by Santa Claus would be something to eat, a thing that makes a sound and gives a pleasant view to the eyes or gift which has a lovely fragrance. Gunpowder is more of a surfer kind of stink, but it's pleasant.

In the present modern culture there are special Christmas stockings available in the market. Like Dora the Explorer, Cars, and whatever licensed property you might enjoy. I'd prefer an A-Team stocking. Some families design unique stockings for each family member. In Puerto Rico, children put flowers and greens in small boxes and place them under their beds for the camels of the Three Kings; Italian children leave their shoes out the night before Epiphany, January 5, for La Befana the good witch; and in France, the children place their shoes by the fireplace.

Copenhagen Ends Early: Due to Blizzard

The Copenhagen what-have-you was nothing more than window dressing for the ClimateFaithers™ back home. The intention was to come home and tell everyone "we participated" or "we're pledging to do something." Superfantastic. Nothing substantial, and no way to enforce whatever they did agree on. And what they did agree on was that using ClimateFaith™ to restructure capital and to shore up state power is a hellofagood idea.

There were back room deals, lots of trees cut down for half assed ideas and proposals. But at the center of it. India and China said go F*yourselves. And the other emerging markets and countries (such as Hugo Chavez) raised their collective fingers and waved them at the West. "We ain't to blame, and we ain't payin'," to paraphrase their position.

The whole thing turned into a giant bargaining table where extreme things were proposed to drive everyone to a minimal compromise. Two rival proposals came out: one billing the first world and one billing the third world for the cost. Neither we meant to be signed. Both were decoys for the screaming mob (home and outside the conference). Meanwhile the heads of state, working in private, settled on a pact which promised everything, enforces nothing and pays a pittance to the loudest of the third world and the low islands.See. Maybe we can all chip in and get them a nice canoe?

No one was scapegoated in public but when Phelim McAleer when through the conference in a polar bear suit calling for Phil Jones, people all knew who that meant. Phil is the climate guy who until a couple weeks ago was the Director of the Climatic Research Unit. They swore at him, threw things at him and tried to interfere with the camera and sound man. Phil at the heart f the UEA CRU scandal. Polar bear suits were banned soon after.

Behind closed doors I suspect Phil got mentioned more than once. Could any government have mentioned climategate in public? The conference was teaming with ClimateFaithful™ that were so fanatical that even the body guards of a dozen countries combined could not have held them back.

So what's the midnight deal.

The key features of note are that the targets a set in terms of temperature not CO2. This means that the 2 degrees target will be met by all because there is no real warming. Governments can later report on the current cooling trend as if its a new discovery and back away from CO2 reduction and commitments. That is, as long as the sun cooperates.

Expect a lot on negative feed back soon.

Also the non binding CO2 commitments and non binding financial commitments. None of there will be enforceable or enforced. Solar energy technology depends on the cost of that technology, those costs are falling but with the dollar falling faster this means few renewables than the free-market, free from both Keynesian policies and government subsidies, would have delivered. Or the cost of oil has to go skyrocketing again.

A few tens of billions have been promised to the third world and low islands. So that aid is wrapped in a different package - used to be just a handout, now it's a climate change handout.

Annnnddd... the best part, there's a huge blizzard descending on Copenhagen! Everyone may be stuck for a few days. Some noted that huge numbers of people flew in private Jets. These have been parked at smaller airports across the region. They are stuck. Al Gore may have to hitch a ride home on the Rainbow Warrior. We'll get to see what happens when a few thousand Bureaucrats, a quarter of a million bored but angry ClimateFaith™ followers, communists and anarchists all get stranded in a snow storm together! Doubt there will be many snow angels. The cops have had it with cold riot gear and frozen batons, and they'll want to try to stay warm.

Yule Log

Ah the traditional burning of the massive Yule log. Ceremoniously dragged in from many hands and placed on the hearth on Christmas Eve. Kind of a mini Burning Man festival. The obviousness of the custom was to keep a chilly house warm. But there's also a ritualistic aspect to it as well.

"Yule" in Anglo-Saxon, "geol" was the winter solstice in England. Celtics and Teutonic people got into it as well. They'd burn a huge log to honor the return of the sun. Kind of a carbon sacrifice, if you will. Both as an offering and as a symbol. Who are we to judge. Just look at candy canes.

There's also a cyclical nature to the whole thing, as this year's log has to be lit from last year's log. No, I don't think it was burning all year.

Other beliefs crept into the Log ceremony as well. If girls with unwashed hands were to touch the log, it would cause the fire to burn dully. And also those who helped drag the log would be protected from witchcraft all year long. There's also a note of a practice of drawing chalk around the log before it was placed into the flame. One author thinks it's a recollection of human sacrifice. That seems way to CSI Miami for me. I think they drew chalk around the log to prevent ants from getting into the house. That's the most rational answer.

Now, since this is Blasphemes, I must also discuss the more important and modern Yule Log tradition - and that is The Yule Log TV show which airs traditionally on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning, originally on New York City television station WPIX but now on many other stations. A radio simulcast (of the musical portion) was broadcast on sister station WPIX-FM.

The program, which has run anywhere from two to four hours in length, is a film loop of a yule log burning in a fireplace, with a traditional soundtrack of classic Christmas music playing in the background. It airs without commercial interruption.

The Yule Log was created in 1966 by Fred M. Thrower, President and CEO of WPIX, Inc. Inspired by an animated Coca-Cola commercial a year earlier that showed Santa Claus at a fireplace, he envisioned this television program as a televised Christmas gift to those residents of "The Big Apple" who lived in apartments and homes without fireplaces. Ahh... the warm glow of the Zenith.

The original film was shot at Gracie Mansion, the official residence of the Mayor of New York City John Lindsay. An estimated $4,000 (US) of advertising along with a roller derby telecast that night was canceled on Christmas Eve for the show's inaugural airing. Thrower, and WPIX-FM programming director Charlie Whittaker selected the music, largely based on the easy listening format the radio station had at that time, with the likes of Percy Faith, Nat King Cole, Arthur Fiedler and the Boston Pops, Mantovani and The Ray Conniff Singers to name a few. During the shoot, the producers removed a protective fire grate so that the blaze could be seen to its best advantage. Unfortunately, a stray spark damaged a nearby antique rug valued at $4,000.

The program was both a critical and ratings success, and by popular demand, it was rebroadcast for 23 consecutive years, beginning in 1967. However, by 1969 it was already clear that the original 16 mm film was quickly deteriorating from wear and needed to be re-shot. (In addition, the original loop was only seventeen seconds long, resulting in a visibly jerky and artificial appearance.) Station producer William Cooper, a future recipient of a Peabody Award, again asked to shoot the loop at Gracie Mansion. However the mayor's office, remembering the mishap with the rug, refused permission. So in 1970, WPIX found a fireplace with similar andirons at a residence in California and filmed a burning log on 35 mm film there on a hot August day. This version, whose loop runs approximately six minutes and three seconds, has been the one viewers have seen ever since.

It also available on DVD at dollar stores everywhere.

Blasphemes Chanukah

Just on the odd chance you thought that I was spending too much time with the Advent, pointing out some 25 odd things about Christmas....

Here's your Chanukah Ham. Yum Yum. Non-Koshery goodness.