Tree Lighting Entrapment in Oregon.

Congratulations to the FBI! They have thwarted a bomb plot in Portland, Oregon! Yea! That they created... boo.

Because of the FBI's efforts, Mohamed Osman Mohamud was prevented from igniting a bomb at a Christmas Tree-lighting celebration. However, it was because of the FBI's efforts, that Mr. Mohamud, thought he was going to ignite that bomb in downtown Portland. There were explosives packed inside his van.

The public was never in danger, however, since the "bomb" had been provided to Mr. Mohamud by the FBI. I don't even know if Mr. Mohamed owned the van. That might have been the FBI's too. For all I know it said Flower's By Impulse.

We do know that the FBI did help him test a real bomb once - not at a tree lighting ceremony.

This is called entrapment.

Just like the case in Florida where they 'fooled' a group of morons to bomb the Sears Tower, and another ding-dong into leaving a wringer next to Wrigley Field a couple months back.

As the FBI builds their case by making an angry idiot into a pretend jihadist - are they just securing their job security?

They have given the citizens of Portland Oregon some Performance Art that will encourage them to waive off more of their rights, privacy, and property in the name of public safety.

In the words of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, "The system worked."

Everybody knows the dice are loaded.

LIBERTY ONCE LOST IS LOST FOREVER

"Cities may be rebuilt, and a People reduced to Poverty, may acquire fresh Property: But a Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty once lost is lost forever. When the People once surrender their share in the Legislature, and their Right of defending the Limitations upon the Government, and of resisting every Encroachment upon them, they can never regain it..."

John Adams to Abigail Adams - July 7, 1775

St. Patricks Rules

Dear Faithful Readers,

Today is amature hour in the realm of professional alcoholism. Please allow me to lay down some ground rules for you so that you don't come off as a complete tosser if, in fact, you plan on spending your day throwing Guinness down your throat until it comes back up in a city gutter.

1. Don't put all that promotional "Irish" shiat all over yourself.
This isn't Halloween, so leave the ridiculous costumes at home. Showing up at a bar in a plastic green bowler hat, six pounds of green beads and a "F*ckme I'm Irish" shirt - not only does this scream, I'm a tool - it does not make you look more 'authentic'. If you must, add a subtle touch of green to your regular wardrobe and hit the bar. Or go the distance and dress up like Bono.

2. Stop saying "I'm actually Irish"
Just because your great-great-great Grandmother's second cousin was from Donegal does not make you Irish. You are an American. This is not "your holiday." You've never even been to Ireland.

3. Don't Get As Drunk As You Possibly Can
I know this is difficult to grasp, but it's important. While today is about drinking, it's not a free pass to get shiat-your-pants-wasted. No one wants to see you puke 13 green beers all over the sidewalk. And if you're not a professional alcoholic, why pick today to try to go beer-for-beer with your mates who are? Instead, have 1.5 beers/drinks every hour, and a green water chaser. I know it sounds like a pain in the ass to keep track, but by midnight you will be at peak drunkenness and thanking me for it. Don't want to look like a pussy? Have a Shamrock Shake and don't go out.

Another Pro Tip: Paddy's Day is a great opportunity to hook up. Girls might pass a bloke that's puking or just crapped their pants. (Usually. I'm just going on statistical averages here.)

2. Only Drink Irish Booze.
Don't have one Guinness and then go back to drinking Amstel Light all evening. Show some respect! Jameson, Guinness and Harp. And just because you dyed the Bud Light Green does not make it Irish all the sudden.

1. Stop Speaking In The World's Worst Fake Irish Accent
It wasn't funny the first time you said, "Let go of me Lucky Charms!" It also wasn't funny when you yelled, "Erin Go Bra-less!" or "Aye, you weee lass!" 50 times in a row. Your Irish accent sounds more like Corky from Life Goes On than Colin Farrell. So just stop that right now.

One last pro tip... don't drive tonight. If there's ever a night where cops are looking to fill the city's 'budget crisis' coffers it's going to tonight and your DUI driving ass.