I was just reading the numbers for the weekend box office receipts - and yes, it's only Sunday morning - but I thought I'd share my take on this data.It used to be that I cared very much what the weekend take was - a kind of nerdy, half Hollywood stock market analysis - half Schadenfreude.
I kind of grew out of it, as either the movies got so terrible - the numbers declined to make it less fun - I knew that North America opening weekend BO receipts wasn't as important anymore. The bigger numbers came later with the International BO, DVD sell through, Netflix, On-Demand, Airline purchases... a combo of all the above, and suddenly I didn't care any more.
But the skills to deduce what these numbers really equals to a film or studio still lingers on a few brain cells. For instance, I can tell you when a movie will be on TNT and what they paid for it. I can tell you when a movie will be on HBO, and how often it will be played. And every once in a while, I can tell you that Office Space will do so well in the secondary (DVD) market, that they'll be begging Mike Judge to make a sequel... ...and he refuses because they treated him like Milton after the first weekend numbers came in. Actually, he still has so much anger and resentment toward the studio, that to this day he refuses to let them come out with a Special Edition which would have all of his original Milton cartoons.
Back to the numbers. I can also fairly well tell when a movie has bombed. I can't even do simple math - but I can tell you that Speed Racer is a bomb. It's a car wreck that has skidded off the track and crashed into the main support of Warner Brother's summer tent pole. Warner will survive the accident, but it's going to hurt them badly in the wallet.
Given that the movie cost $160 million, and that ticket sales are split between the studio and the theater owners, Warner Bros. is going to be about $130 million in the hole. That's a pretty huge bomb. The Wachowski Brothers' "Speed Racer" slotted third on Friday with $6.2 million from 3,606 sites.
Third. Third rhymes with turd.
Iron Man took first, again, in it's second weekend. Iron Man has brought in $141.90 Million in it's first 8 days. That's why they've already green lit number 2 and a whole slew of other Marvel movies. (If I would have said "took the checkered flag" I'd be a brilliant douche-bag writer...)
Ashton Kuncher's What Happens in Vegas grossed $7.2 million from 3,215 locations. "Vegas" repped an opening day high for a romantic comedy in May, besting the $6.5 million charted by 1999's "Notting Hill." Goddamnit people. This is going to cement Ashton Kuncher as a real movie star now. He'll be in more movies than Ben Sitller now. Please stop going to these fuggin' movies, please. Please?
But just how bad is the Speed Racer movie, really?
Joe Morgenstern (Wall Street Journal) said, "This toxic admixture of computer-generated frenzy and live-action torpor succeeds in being, almost simultaneously, genuinely painful -- the esthetic equivalent of needles in eyeballs -- and weirdly benumbing, like eye candy laced with lidocaine." Okay, that's the WSJ. Not exactly the first place to go for a live action Anime review. I'd be better off with someone who "gets the concept"... maybe the Onion...
Okay, it's tripping balls eye candy. Not the worst film - but some folks question why you would make a limited appeal kiddie film of a 41 year old cartoon... called Mach GoGoGo (マッハGoGoGo Mahha GōGōGō) that had limited appeal in the first place. I guess if you think that 50 year olds have 10 year old kids - there would be a natural cross over effect... Hey, why not do the Transformers... oh. Yeah... they did that one...?
How about this review:
Glenn Kenny of Premiere said the storyline was one of the most "blatantly anti-capitalist" and "most genuinely confounding" of recent years. Depending upon the viewpoint, he said, it was either "the most headache-inducing" children's film of all, or the most expensive avante-garde film ever made.
Which is insane, when you consider how many corporate movie tie ins there are for this thing! The film was backed by multiple promotional partners with over $80 million in marketing support. The partners include General Mills, McDonald's, Target, Topps, Esurance, Mattel, and LEGO. Never mind the video games and the obvious NASCAR tie ins.Which is, I guess ironic, given the fact that there's a heavy anti-corporate message, how the movie will save itself. Even as a bomb - the Wii racing game, the Hot Wheels Mach 5, and the Happy Meal sales alone might even offset the lackluster box office performance.
And then it might sell well on DVD as a drug culture 'cult' movie. It could be sold as the first movie created for Meth-heads. Which, if you bother to think about that for even a second - Meth-heads don't have any money, you idiots!
Damn if I can't get that Alpha Team techno version of Speed Racer out of my head...
If you've SEEN it (which I admit I have not, I'm just looking at the numbers) please feel free to leave me a review. Many readers have written in saying they enjoyed the Iron Man movie - mostly because they weren't that familiar with the story or character before walking into the theater. Not that badly dubbed Anime has a lot of baggage with the potential audience for Speed Racer... but drop a line. Let me know.
But according to the numbers I'm looking at - you're not going to see it.
2 comments:
UPDATE:
"Speed Racer" finished in the second-place spot with $20.2 million in ticket sales to $20 million for No. 3 "Vegas," according to Sunday's estimates. But those figures could change when Monday's final weekend tallies are released.
"Speed Racer" got off to a slow start for the big-budget film's backers at Warner Bros. who had high hopes the movie would prove to be a runaway hit for kids and their parents.
"We were disappointed with the results over the weekend," said Dan Fellman, president of domestic distribution for Warner Bros.
However, Fellman said surveys of audiences leaving theaters showed they had positive reactions to the movie about a race car driver named Speed who must stop wealthy corporations from using profits to fix races. It was made by the directors of the "Matrix," brothers Larry and Andy Wachowski.
"We're hoping, optimistically, that the movie can turn it around and sustain an audience into the summer but only time will tell at this early stage," Fellman said.
While "Speed Racer" managed to claim the No. 2 spot, "Vegas" beat it on the basis of average sales per theater.
"Vegas," which stars Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz as a pair of mismatched lovers who get married after a fling in Las Vegas, pulled in $6,221 per theater in 3,215 theaters compared to $5,605 per venue in 3,606 locations for "Speed."
A spokesman for Twentieth Century Fox, which released "Vegas," called its performance a "great result" that surpassed expectations for what he said was a movie that cost a mere $35 million to make.
By contrast, "Speed Racer" was estimated to have cost $150 million to make and another $100 million to market, according to a recent story in the Los Angeles Times.
Thanks for that picture. You can almost see the ping pong balls popping out of Trixie.
Post a Comment