Say it with me now...
I pledge my blind, unquestioning loyalty to the large, heavy piece of cloth, dyed in two bright colors and one frankly rather neutral one, that symbolizes the numerological makeup (past and present) of The United States of America, and to the Republic --which they keep telling us is a democracy even though it clearly isn't, but telling us that it is tends to keep us intellectually sedated and, in turn, makes it far easier for them to continue consolidating their power-- for which it flaps its frayed ends wickedly in the rain-soaked night, tired and alone and forsaken and faded and wet and unraveling but, thank goodness, at least it isn't burning!--- one nation with a colony that Mexico is trying desperately to found on its soil, under Jehovah (First Amendment be damned) and Symbology and Numerology and Hypocrisy and rampant, unchecked, blood-in-the-water Corporate Capitalism and a President who is "uh unahter, not uh divahder," with libration, not liberty, and the suspension of habeas corpus for all. Must be 18 or older. No purchase necessary. Void where prohibited. Not valid in all states.
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Notes:
(1) This post was inspired by comedian Doug Stanhope. Those of you who perceive the influence of George Carlin are, uh, probably right, too.
(2) Why, yes, as a matter of fact, I do like using obscure and archaic words. How did you know?
(3) No, that isn't a typo.
(4) Bud "Dag" Selig must go.
Impious since 2006
5 comments:
And a spoonerism to boot . . .
Good Times, Goos TImes
http://www3.telus.net/public/aling/lunarcal/Help/lunar_month.wmv
let's go with libations here.
I was passingly familiar with the term "spoonerism," but I wanted to check on something...
According to The American Heritage Dictionary, a "spoonerism" is an UNINTENTIONAL transposition of sounds.
Technically (admittedly really, really, really technically), that is not the case here. So nanner-nanner-nanner.
As for all that backslash-laced gibberish... I'm not very internet savvy, so I don't know what it's supposed to mean. Since I see the word "lunar" a couple of times in there, I'm going to assume you actually looked up the word "libration." Thank you. I didn't think anyone would do that.
Regarding your suggested substitution, however... You are certainly free* to do whatever you like, but I'm tempted to respond by saying, "WOW, dude, you drink? That, like, makes you, like, SOOOO COOL."
* "Free" is a relative term... which was precisely my point.
I was once pitched a "spoonerism party" in college. Ever since that day I figured they had to be intentional.
in actuality, i was impressed by your ability to rewrite the pledge in such an inspired fasion. i just did not your "librations" metaphor. yes, i looked it up and still missed it. nice job. and we are a nation of addicts. blashphemes fan.
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