Jun 13, 2008

Breaking News!

Tim Russert : Tits up

Dead

Hillary Clinton seen scratching name off a list

No connection.

R Kelly Pisses Off

CHICAGO - A Chicago jury has acquitted R. Kelly on all counts at his child pornography trial.

The verdict came six years after the R&B superstar was first charged with videotaping himself having sex with a young girl. Prosecutors had said she was as young as 13 at the time.

Kelly had faced a maximum 15 years in prison.

Both Kelly and the now 23-year-old alleged victim had denied they were the ones appearing on the tape, which was played for the jury at the beginning and end of the trial.

The prosecution's star witness was a woman who said she engaged in three-way sex with Kelly and the girl from the video. Defense attorneys argued the man on the tape didn't have a large mole on his back, as Kelly does.


Uh -- Hey, you. Come here. I'd really like to beat the living shiznit out of you for not only bothering Mr. Kelly, but for WASTING SO MUCH COURT TIME in Chicago. You could have spent all that time, energy, and money convicting some Aldermen or politicians... I hope these attorneys are disbarred and have to find new employment in men's restrooms.

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