Big Mormon Push

I'm a surfer, a woman, and a woman's longboard champion. And I'm a Mormon."

Question one - why?

Why would an organized religion need to advertise? Shouldn't their good works and better example lead a path to their doorstep?

One would suggest that it's a thinly veiled attempt by the Mitt Romney camp to de-mystify the Mormon religion so that he can run for president in 2012?

Or is it just a recruiting video?

A 2007 Pew Center poll showed that 18 percent of Americans associate the religion with polygamy, even though the church has banned the practice since the late 19th century. Six percent said they associated Mormonism with terms like "weird" and "cult-like." The religion is one of the world's fastest-growing, with about 13 million members.

"The church's desire here is just to tell people who have no opinion or a negative opinion of Mormons to say, Look it, we're not a bunch of polygamists that wear weird clothes and have a compound in Texas. That's not us, we're just regular folks," Campbell said.

If I'm not allowed in your church - that's a cult.

The Adventures of Lil Cthulhu

Are you looking for a child-friendly way to introduce your little one to the traditions of the Old Cult? Meet little Cthulhu, who lives in the magic city of R'lyeh with all his friends, as you and your child embark on a fun and educational journey through the world of the Great Old Ones, meeting all kinds of new buddies from the Necronomicon along the way, from Azathoth to Yog-Sothoth! This series has won multiple awards and has been enthusiastically approved by the department of child-developmental psychology at Miskatonic University.

Buy a Lil Cthulhu shirt or Necronomicon journal!

Heathers: The TV Show

Coming soon to a television near you, Heathers. "Well f*ck me gently with a chainsaw."

If you haven't seen or heard of Michael Lehmann and Daniel Waters’ 1989 cult satire Heathers, I wouldn't be too surprised. However, it is the film that launched the careers of Winona Ryder, Christian Slater and Shannon Doherty. It also praised teenage suicide (don't do it!), witty dialog among teenagers, strip croquet, "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and probably spawned the Trench coat Mafia - which could easily connect the dots to Columbine and ever other copycat school shooting and bombing we read about on a semi-weekly basis.

Let's put that on Television!

It seems this is a new development, since the property has been in sequel purgatory - the moive surpassed expectations on the rental circuit, which shows that it's popular and profitable... but not enough for a sequel. But it may finally find an afterlife on television.

The story is that Fox and Sony Pictures TV are teaming up to resuscitate the show, which is being written by Mark Rizzo and Sex and the City scribe Jenny Bicks, according to Variety. Rizzo and Bicks, meanwhile, are resuscitating its main characters: Veronica Sawyer and J.D., respectively played by Winona Ryder and Christian Slater. Uh hold on, didn't Jimmy Dean blow himself up, guys?

Question, hasn't Heathers been played out? I mean, wasn't it meant to be a dark take on all those John Hughes white suburban how-to-dress and act in the 80's instructional films? A black comedy, if you will. It was copied with Slater's Pump up the Volume all the way to the Craft, Donny Darko, and Mean Girls, and those are just a couple off the top of my head. Hell, there are even hints of Heathers in Napoleon Dynamite! Heathers kind of created a whole sub-genre of angsty anti-clique High School films. And on television, it’s been beaten to the marketplace by Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Beverly Hills 90210, whose star Shannon Doherty started out as a f*ckin' Heather! And that was over two decades ago!

Also, Heathers is all about killing cliques by way of convoluted suicide-things. Not exactly what OXY Medicated pads wants to be sponsoring. Maybe Corn Nuts...

So, the question is, why? And why now? The cult purists will say, "not over my dead gay son." Everyone else will just say, "Eskimo. What ever will be will be."