Believe it or not, binge eating and giant balloons blocking major arteries of our cities weren't part of the original tradition of Thanksgiving. Actually, there were religious ties, to the point of FASTING for the day. Well, that just doesn't vibe with modern Americans.
Seems the whole thing tradition was kind of made up by the author of Mary Had a Little Lamb... she embellished on a story she read from an American colonist. Then the next thing you know, she pesters Abe Lincoln, and suddenly it's a Federal Holiday. Whoo hoo! No mail!
Hang on, there's more - and you can read that stuff from the original source. Frankly, I can't be bothered cut'n'pastin'. I've got to go get my sweat pants on, and dive into 2800 calories in one sitting, followed by some fake pumpkin with fake cream made of sugar wax and lube... and eat the hell out of it. Then I'm going to watch either the Lions or the Pack lose today. I'm rooting for everyone to get turf toe.
Thanks dear readers, and see you in line at the local Home OfficeDepot tonight. I need to find the Golden Pickle before anyone else does.
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