Oct 17, 2006

BOM: Blasphemer of the Month

I waited and waited for Killre. A brilliant plan hatched in his demented little mind over this past summer was going to add a special monthly nugget to this blog's bowl. But, alas, I could not wait any longer. The idea sat on the shelf like a package of Twinkies. Calling to me. Pleading with me to eat one. Just one. Twinkies don't go bad; they have an amazing shelf life. But just to wrap my lips around the tasty little pastry-like treat was too much for me to resist. And here I sit. Guilty and not as full or as satisfied as I thought I would be. And yearning for one more.

I had forgotten about Mike Tyson. It had been a while since he had eaten the young or molested a pigeon. No new schemes or incidents seeped out of his tattooed head and into my media. Nothing. Until I came across this. Mike Tyson is getting his own TV show! Mike Tyson's World Tour in true boxing fashion will be a pay-per-view event. Or as I call them, a wait-a-day-for-YouTube event. Seems the old chap is going to cruise around the country and fight people. Anyone really.

In his press conference he interrupted his promoter to claim, "Maybe we will end up in Iran, it's all messed up over there." In fact, according to ESPN.com he plans to fight in Europe and Asia as well as the Middle East. I must admit, I'm listening.

And doesn't want to fight just men either. In true Tyson fashion, the old boy wants to take a few swings at women as well. When he was asked if fighting women was a joke he replied, "I'm very serious." Hot damn! I'd watch that too. Could he fight a woman in a burkah? That would be a fight night. Loser gets an ear bitten off. Let's see EA make a game about that. If it's in the game . . .

I would like to end with a few choice quotes from October's BOM so that you can all enjoy your chicken dinners and stare in awe that he is aware that the word "quagmire" exists. We have a president that may need help.

  • "I was a little overweight, smoking too much . . .Once I started training, the stress left. I can't believe I'm not slurring. I'm not angry. Life's lessons are priceless."
  • "I think I'm useless to society, I don't think I'm worthy of the people who come out to see me, but they do."
  • "If I don't get out of this financial quagmire there's a possibility I may have to be a punching bag for somebody"
  • On how many events there will be: "One hundred. One hundred times 4 (rounds) is as many rounds as I fought my whole career."
Here is his web site. Enjoy!

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