Good Times, Bad Times

Eighty-five.
That's the number of days New York Times reporter Judith Miller spent in jail for refusing to reveal her source in the CIA Blown-Cover Case, as I like to call it.

Zero.
That's the number of days Karl Rove has spent --or likely will spend-- in jail for actually blowing a CIA operative's cover. There's probably some symbolism to be found here --some readily-drawn allegorical example of this Blinkin' Administration's modus operandi-- but what do I know? I'm just a truck driver.

I have heard it opined that Special Prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald decided against indicting Karl Rove not so much because he didn't have a case, but because he wasn't certain he could get a conviction. Um, so, in poker parlance: He mucked a perfectly good hand on the river because he didn't have the "nuts."

Meanwhile, Karl Rove was so hippy-happy-hooey to hear that the case had been dropped that he told The Smirking Marionette --whose nickname is "The President"-- to hop on a helicopter, skip across the ocean like a stone and jump into Iraq with a parachute in one hand, a flak jacket in the other and a puzzled look on his face... You know the one. There were two very, very good reasons for that little trip. For one thing, it clearly demonstrated to any doubters that Air Force One is, indeed, the most souped-up 747 in the world, daddy-o. For another, the Blinkin' Administration was long overdue to have Iraqi Prime Minister Ibrahim Al-Jaafari perform the Ceremonial Kissing of the Flag-replica Lapel Pin, which The Smirking Marionette wears at all times, even in the shower and when he goes nighty-nite. Al-Jaafari, of course, had difficulty fulfilling this all-important duty because he was still recovering from the heart attack he'd suffered moments earlier, when The Smirking Marionette jumped out of a giant, red, white and blue cake and yelled "Surprise!"

After all the pomp and circumspect was over, The Smirking Marionette turned to one of his generals and asked, "So where's the green zone? I'd like to see that."

"This is the green zone, sir."

"Huh. Looks kinda brown to me."

"It is, sir. Pretty much everything around here is one shade of brown or another."

"So then why do we call it the green zone?"

"That's a very good question, Mr. President. That ranks right up there with 'why do we call it Mission Accomplished'?"

Upon returning to the U.S. (which Georgie likes to call "The Ranch"), The Smirking Marionette and his boss, Chancellor Palpatine --whose nickname is "The Vice President"-- made a Very Big Deal out of pretending to be mad at the New York Times, the very same newspaper that helped them blow Valerie Plame's cover, because the Times was "irresponsible" enough to print a story about how the grand, high, exalted Executive Branch has been pawing through all of our financial records. As if that was a secret. As if you and your uncle Al and your aunt Kida didn't already know. Every once in a while, Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Darth even managed to remember to pretend to be [leaked] off at the "leaker" in their midst. Funny, though, I've not yet heard them "promise" to punish the leaker the way they promised to punish the leaker in the CIA Blown-Cover Case. You know... Karl Rove. Probably they don't want to get carried away this time since this leak, like that one, is all part of the plan. Mid-term elections coming up, you know. Call the Times a few names, git folks all riled up and feelin' anti-egghead so's they'll vote Republican.

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Speaking of getting all riled up... I'm sure by now you've heard about Rush Limbaugh's latest run-in with the, uh, long arm of the law. It seems that upon returning from a trip to Mexico or some-such, Rush was detained by airport security when he was found to be in illegal possession of a prescription drug. The prescription was in somebody else's name, y'see. The drug was Viagra.

Wait a minute; I'm confused. I thought Rush Limbaugh was already a big, swollen [rooster]... A walking, talking, red-hot, helmet-headed, stick-up-the-[sphincter] [Richard the Lyin'-hearted]. So why the hell does he need Viagra?

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P.S... Bud "Remember, the Root Word of 'Commissioner' is 'Commit'" Selig must go.