Lost is Over...

Do I feel like I wasted 120 plus hours watching a television show, you bet. Am I disappoint? Yes I am. And if you're not part of this crowd, I'm really sorry. And yes, I'm going to accidentally toss out a couple [SPOILERS] for this show and some others if you haven't seen them. So, quit reading if you have a problem with it, or have it back ordered on Netflix, or haven't bothered until the hype machine was on full volume for the end of Lost.

Ahem. Let me begin.

Science fiction television writers, I understand that using religion in your work is compelling and new, and can even bring in new audiences. Perhaps you'll get a few thousand of the folks who bought the 'Left Behind' series of books about the Rapture? What a nice demographic.

Perhaps, as storytellers, you find the religious aspect of your shows -- and I'm not speaking specifically to characters with strong faith, but instead on your entire narrative arch of the plot ending in a religious tone or in the case of Lost, and the Battlestar Galactica, the religious crescendo. Maybe you're reacting to the world where ancient mysticism and regular church going isn't compatible with iPads and frozen chicken dinners? The mysterious world of witches and magic are bottled and packaged as Disney characters for toddlers, and we're out of touch with our ancient mythology. You see an opportunity to tap into these simple stories, and have found compelling ways to repackage them and sell advertising.

I mean, look how well it worked for Star Wars, Twin Peaks and X-Files? Star Wars is nothing more than a princess, a pirate, a wizard and a farm boy going up against the evil man in black, right? Good and evil. Man With A Thousand Faces! Too bad Joseph Campbell wasn't around to help Lucas write a compelling first three prequels, right?

Twin Peaks had the black and white lodges - pretty basic stuff there too, really. And X-files had the mysterious mythology that they would drag out and kick around in-between monster-of-the-week episodes, that dealt with urban legends and ancient mysticism... and UFO's are grouped in there too for good measure.

So Lost and Battlestar come after these highlights in science fiction, and exploit the mysticism storyline as well. It was just a bit TOO much and TOO blatant for yours truly.

Let me make one request. You keep religion out of my sci-fi, and I'll keep my science out of religion? Deal?

I won't ask how the velocity of David's sling could have possibly taken down Goliath - as there's no way it could have caused enough head trauma. I won't ask how Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt - was that figurative or literal? And what was the street value of that pillar of salt in antiquity? How about Jesus turning water into wine - was that an Ocean's 11, or Jesus's 13 kind of caper involving a hilarious Vaudevillian double switch? I'll just let those things slide as long as we never see a religious ending to shows with time-travel or space ships.

Not that I hated the ending last night - as they would have had to have plotted it out in advance. Battlestar, though, really was pulled out and thrown on the wall to see if it would stick. The first couple seasons were awesome, and the Jewish robots going after the heathen Zodiac worshiping people was great. There were analogies to the Iraq war, 9/11, religion - great stuff and mirroring our world and telling a morality tale = which I'll be the first to say is what makes great science fiction. But they should be left ambiguously, not literal.

But, that said, the best shows to tackle morality tales were the Twilight Zone and the original Star Trek. Automan, Manimal, and Man from Atlantis? Not so much.

And while answering questions, and finishing hanging story nuggets - the ending quietly ties up those threads by saying, did that one little red herring really have anything to do with how it ended, no - now quit obsessing, Nerd Fan. Okay, well, I don't have a choice -- but were you, as writers, being lazy or were you tossing around red herrings in case your ending didn't work? I don't care that you didn't explain what the Island was or what the glowing thing was, but then you kind of did... but my point was to KEEP it vague and not tell us the Force is midichlorians.

And you did do that, but not with the characters.

How would I have ended it? Glad you didn't ask -- but I'll tell you anyway. The alternate pocket universe gives the characters a choice. Go to the island and help Jacob -- or stay here in this world. The two shall converge and those of you who are dead, keep on keepin' on. Remember your choices and lives on the island, and live good lives. The show rebooted six times. There's no reason why these people couldn't have just rebooted again too. Those of you who want to stay and help out, that's your choice (the choice the man-in-black and Jacob never were given) and that's cool too.

Then it really is about fate vs choice -- which was a major theme throughout the show.

So Lost disappointed me. There was a very heavy religious 'Defending Your Life' ending to the entire program. How much was real? The island was, but the pocket alternate universe, not as much. Does it matter? Is it worth watching? Probably. Will I have fond memories of the show. Kind of, but I'm still going to always think that the ending was a cop-out.

Why Call it V Then?

Is ABC arguing that their new V series is not a remake of the original 1984 series, with the same name and same concept, just to save money? That's what a new rumor suggests.

The rumor broke on V hyperfan Ilana's "'V' Celebrity Site" on Saturday:

One of my super reliable sources has just informed me that the Writers Guild (WGA) is having a debate whether or not ABC's "V" is a remake or not. According to my source, Warner Brothers is now claiming that ABC's "V' is NOT a remake. In other words, WB has retracted everything they've stated about a re-imagining of the original "V." Why? Most likely it all boils down to money. If the ABC Pilot & Series are ruled NOT a remake, Ken Johnson would be denied the "Created By..." credit which he has had on all previous incarnations of "V." If there is no "Created By..." credit, then no royalty payments have to be made to the creator. WB has therefore forced the WGA to begin a special "remake arbitration" where three anonymous writers will be sent KJ's original screenplay and the new pilot script to rule on whether the new one is or is not a remake. Interesting how WB waited until after Comic Con to announce their new position.

The Visitors Among Us fanpage dug deeper:

So the way things stand is that there are three arbiters at the Writers Guild of America who will decide whether or not this "V" is a remake of the original. Apparently if the arbiters decide that the new version of "V" is different enough, the term "remake" kicks in. The Guild defines remake as a motion picture that contains "substantial similarity" to a previous motion picture with respect to principle characters, general setting (including an updated setting), plot, storyline, tone, events and structure." Should the WGA decide that the new show is different enough, basically the creator ends up with no royalties. And to add insult to injury, the creator cannot even address the Guild on the matter (which is different from a regular arbitration). Additionally, the results are not allowed to be questioned or argued against.

While we're kind of appalled that ABC would consider arguing that the new V is unrelated enough from the original to be a new series, we're not as surprised as we wish we could be. That said, is there really any chance that the Writer's Guild would say that this isn't a remake?

Cutnpasted from i09

Punny AP

Actual headline:
"Fluoride's glory may be cresting"

Can I please beat the living shiznit out of an AP writer now, please? Please?

I don't actually care much about Fluoride in my drinking water... well not as much as this guy:

It's either a byproduct of the coal industry being dumped into the water supply and sold off as "being good for your teeth" or it's fantastic - and that's why Americans have been getting taller since they started it. What would be more interesting is to see if Osteoporosis starts declining in aging Baby Boomers as they enter retirement homes.

You can't eat toothpaste, fluoride ingested is bad - but somehow it's good for your teeth... but I don't care about that right now... it's that DAMN headline! I'm going to go knock out that writer's teeth - Would you believe, pull out his/her hair.

Writer's Strike Over; Terrible TV gives way to simply Cruddy TV

Link to the story MSNBC

"A deal has been made, and they'll be back to work very soon," Michael Eisner said, adding, "I know a deal's been made. I know it's over."

Eisner did not elaborate on terms of the agreement. He said he expects most of the media companies affected by the strike to have "small" write-downs as a result of the deal. Eisner said the deal was struck last Friday.

So now it's back to normal? Well, except for the show you like. That'll be so far behind on production it'll probably be canceled.

Scabby McScab is a Dick - Update

Protesting writers converged on NBC's studios in suburban Burbank to rally against restarted production of the late-night show "Last Call With Carson Daly."

Several people said Daly circled the Burbank lot before entering a gate with no pickets.

Adam Waring, who has written for the sitcom "Two and a Half Men," said he and two other writers dashed around a corner to intercept aly.

"We stood in front of his car, and he told his driver to keep going," Waring said, adding that protesters had to move out of the way.

"Last Call" was the first late-night show to resume production since the strike began on Nov. 5. The walkout has also idled production on many scripted television series.

Daly has defended the move, saying he still supports the writers but did not want to see all 75 members of his staff and crew lose their jobs because of the work stoppage.

Protesters at NBC carried signs reading, "Carson Daly Please Don't Cross" and "Carson Daly Please Support Us."

Among them was Joe Medeiros, 56, head writer on the "Tonight Show with Jay Leno." He said union members were disappointed with Daly's break in solidarity.

"All the other late-night hosts are holding firm," Medeiros said. "That's what they need to do to solve this in a timely manner."

He's a strike breaker. That's all there is to it. I WOULD say boycott his show - don't tune in... but, it's Carson Daly. If you're watching that spud scab head, you're probably not a daily reader of Blasphemes.

Remember when that little pud wacker was going to be the next Dick Clark? Now he's just a dick.

Best SNL Ever and why You'll Never See It.

It wasn't live from New York as usual. 10 days ago...

In front of 150 audience members in a tiny Manhattan theater were the only folks in the world to witness a totally new "Saturday Night Live" episode starring guest host Michael Cera and musical guest Yo La Tengo.

Anyone who tuned into NBC was subjected to a two-week-old rerun featuring Brian Williams and Feist, thanks to an ongoing Writers Guild of America labor strike.

"It was everything that's never been on the show before," cast member Kenan Thompson told The Associated Press after the show. "Sometimes it doesn't get a chance to shine, but it sure shined here."

The "SNL" cast and writers collaborated on staging the special "Saturday Night Live—On Strike!" event at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre to benefit the behind-the-scenes staff affected by the strike. The live performance was not officially sanctioned by NBC, but "SNL" executive producer Lorne Michaels, who celebrated his 63rd birthday, did attend.

"He came and saw it and laughed a little bit," said Thompson.

The performance included all the trappings of a typical "SNL" episode, such as a host monologue, musical performance, "Weekend Update" news segment and several comedy sketches—all without any commercial interruption.

"It was a little dirtier than usual," audience member Birch Harms said.

A typical "SNL" episode features about seven sketches, but the cast performed about 15 original sketches during the two-hour event. Thompson said he starred in a sketch called "Hip-Hop Whodunit," a mock game show about solving hip-hop crimes, and also appeared as a French comedian during "Weekend Update."

"They didn't have elaborate costumes or graphics or anything," audience member Risa Sang-urai said. "Sometimes they would explain things or wear wigs. It wasn't anything too elaborate, but you didn't really need it."

Tickets to the hush-hush sold at the 11:30 p.m. EST performance were difficult to come by. Many audience members were friends or acquaintances of "SNL" cast members or performers at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, an improv theater co-founded by "SNL" cast member Amy Poehler.

Thompsen said everyone in the current cast participated in the event, except Maya Rudolph. Past cast members Rachel Dratch and Horatio Sanz also performed. Singer Norah Jones made a cameo appearance, according to audience members.

Production of "SNL" shut down because many of the stars also write the shows. The cast and writers of "30 Rock" have also planned to stage a similar live performance Monday at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater.

"Everybody's in a holding pattern right now," Thompson said of the "SNL" staff. "It's a shame. All these creative people are just sitting around. We've obviously got material we're waiting to unleash on the world."

So let me elaborate, with some thoughts... it was the most original material they've done since the Belushi-era-cocaine 70's. They actually were creative and racy, they didn't depend on graphics and wigs to tell the jokes, they had Yo La Tango... and you'll never see it.

Or, the question is begged - how bad was it? if a show sucks and no one sees it, does it still suck?

To be fair - I have heard that this was staged in order to feed the crew - so if that's the case, it's all actually pretty damn cool.

Scabby McScab

Carson "Scab" Daly "McScab" is about to defy writers strike.

Scabby is not the first talk-show host to go back into production. Ellen DeScabgeres, who is a member of the union, has continued taping her daytime syndicated talk show after shutting down the first day of the strike. But "Last Call" becomes the first to break ranks among the late-night shows, which all had chosen to air repeats rather than tape new shows without their striking writers.

Johnny Carson - no relation to this jackass, as it's his first name, not his last - broke the line in the '88 strike, but wrote his own gags. It's remembered as the time where there wasn't as much polish in his shoes. But that was Johnny Carson - not fuggin' Carson Scabby Daly. Who the hell is up at 12:30 Central to watch him!? Who cares? After a rerun of Leno and a rerun of Conan - does ANYONE watch this show? Maybe his mom - who tapes it on her soap tape - on VHS.

Perhaps they think this is their big chance to beat everyone back on the air. Like that time Krusty the Clown was broadcasting in the National Defense shed. Now's my chance for that 10 share! Good luck - if this Scab is writing anything - you're better off watching the Magic Bullet ad, (which I'm told is quality television!)

Strike continues

The producer's alliance or AMPTP, is preparing to hunker down for a months-long strike that could devastate the economic lives not just of writers but of any workers whose jobs vanish when a lack of scripts shuts down the production that employs them. AMPTP's position is that it can outlast the writers, and it probably can. But why should people in the business of making and selling creative product evince such contempt for the people who make that product possible? Do these gentlemen, some of whom are active and vigorous fundraisers for the Democratic Party, know what the Democrats think of corporate fat cats that try to starve out unions? In this strike, management may yet get what it wants — but only by pursuing it with callousness, greed, and disdain for the people who create the work without which their companies wouldn't exist. It's hard to respect anyone who wants to win that way.

It's also really hard to not call them hypocrites. Actually, no, that was VERY easy!

(more)

Explaining the Writer's Strike: The Video

Not Ironic that this is a video that is on New Media, which is what sparked this whole fight anyway.

I do - however, need to comment on it, since once again it's-
THE CAP'N'S DOCUMENTARY REVIEW TIME...

The narration is whinny. That's not helping the persuasive argument.
They admit they gave away the home video royalties for a sack of - well, not even a sack of beans. And they've renegotiated that deal for the past 20 years, and only now are they taking a stand on it? And what's with the pie chart at -2:42 in the video? 80%? That's gotta be wrong. Well, they're writers, not mathematicians, I guess?
Also looks like Pac Man...


And since it was so well written and produced I'm thinking that it was made by a SCAB!!
Get 'em!

Death Count Mounts in Strike

Six sitcoms, 'Housewives' killed by strike

AP - Some TV favorites have already been hit by the writers' strike, Ellen is carrying on.

"I want to say I love my writers," DeGeneres said. "In honor of them today, I'm not going to do a monologue. I support them and hope that they get everything they're asking for. And I hope it works out soon."

Writers have not gone on strike since 1988, when the walkout lasted 22 weeks and cost the industry more than $500 million. When will this carnage end?

I don't understand

Got this letter in the mail. Let me share it with you, my fine Blasphemes readers.

Dear Cap'n,

I'm writing to you this question because I guess you seem to have subject matter expertise. Why do screenwriters and script writers striking in Hollywood have more impact in the news than our actions in Iraq or Afghanistan? Is it because the news media thinks Americans don't care? I want your opinion. I'm not questioning the validity of their jobs, just its impact on the news.

If I had a strike, I'd probably be imprisoned via UCMJ violations. Its not something I can do. So, I'm just curious.

Signed,
nevermind

Good question, Nevermind.
First, I'd naturally say that since
"The Iraq war represents the end of the media as a
major actor in war. The indifference, the exhaustion
and the difficulty of reporting leaves the US forces
with a freer hand than they have had in any field of
operations for decades" (link)

The Iraq war has become a disaster that we have chosen
to forget.

But the more realistic answer, the one that's semi-easier to
swallow- is that you're forgetting that the News media is nothing more than
entertainment. They are affected, and the American people need their soma/
distraction from their sh*tty, real life...
or just something to watch while trying to fall asleep.

Daily Show and Colbert Report will be the first to
go on hiatus (on hold) today - and then the other daily type shows will be following.
Read, Letterman and Leno etc.

As I reported earlier, a long strike will effect daily TV shows,
then pilots then shows still in production. Then It'll effect
Hollywood - and unless they have a bunch of crap laying around
(let me look, yep, they do) they'll be next.

So while I have given a little bit of type/ink to the story as well - mostly because it's interesting to see the 'new' media deal with the Unions. The writers are simply the first to stand in line with their cups out. It also reminds me of Peoria...

The Writers Guild is acting a lot like the UAW in Peoria - they're the guinea pigs used to see what's going to fly on the new contracts. They're used to see what's going to stick, or cause issues with the big boys in Detroit. Let me back peddle a little.

The UAW tends to use their workers in Peoria, who work for Caterpillar tractor, as sacrificial lambs to see how far the new demands, dental plans, better retirement packages will hold up against negotiation and (almost always) arbitration. That is, what's are they going to Detroit with. "If it Plays in Peoria" has many meanings, and this is really one of them.

The writer contract is the first of many which will come up soon. This fight is about new medium that wasn't really an issue in the last negotiation, three years ago. In the last three years new media has been making a couple people very rich, especially since no one ever foresaw Gilligan's Island box sets on DVD ever making money.

ever.

So the writers, the camera men, the gaffers, the actors and, I guess the makeup artists all want a piece of the sweet money cake. If not residuals, then higher up-front fees. And the couple people making money off of the smart idea of remastering Gilligan's Island say "forget it, you already cashed your check - and you were overpaid when we hired you in the first place."

As you can see, these two parties ideas of fairness aren't even in the same parking lot, let alone the same page.

Why is this more important than the war that we wage? It all goes back to Family Guy and how DVD sales resurrected that show.

Family Guy celebrated their 100th episode last night. After it was canceled. Then sold 100 million units on DVD. Brought back to FOX. 100th episode last night.

Iraq war? Well, since the surge seems to have locked down all the car bombs and all the negative news - and a little from point one - what've they got to write about?

Besides, who would be writing about it?