Showing posts with label Michael Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Jackson. Show all posts

Jul 28, 2009

It Is Official: Michael Jackson is STILL Dead

Michael Jackson's doctor administered a drug that authorities now believe might have actually killed him! Yes, after weeks of speculation and 24/7 coverage, the self nicknamed 'King of Pop,' Michael Jackson, might actually, be dead. Perhaps now, just now, the AP and all the toadies that buy their wire service have finally decided that in fact, Michael Jackson could be dead- and might have been dead for about a full month now.

An official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation on whether Michael Jackson is, in fact, dead is ongoing. The official provided a glimpse inside Jackson's rented mansion that he used before his 'alleged death' describing the room Jackson slept in as outfitted with oxygen tanks and an IV drip. There's no point in putting that stuff into a dead person, since they don't use oxygen or IV. However, another of his rented bedrooms was a shambles, with clothes and other items strewn about and handwritten notes stuck on the walls. One read: "children are sweet and innocent." No word on whether Michael Jackson had a note about other sweet and innocent things - such as KFC's new grilled chicken. It boggles the mind what other great songs may have come from that disheveled room. Perhaps a song about doing the laundry?

The world will never know, since, it's possible that the King of Pop is now, probably, dead.

Jul 7, 2009

Overheard at the Michael Jackson Death Parade

I was just at the car wash, and in the little room where they make you wait to get your car back. They were blasting the Michael Jackson death parade. I overheard this little exchange between Anderson Cooper and Larry King on CNN minutes ago...
"So, Larry, you were close to the coffin?

Yes, Anderson.

What was it like?

It looked like a coffin. An expensive coffin."
The Pew Research Center released findings last week indicating that "nearly two-in-three Americans say news organizations gave too much coverage to the story. At the same time, half say the media struck the right balance between reporting on Jackson's musical legacy and the problems in his personal life.

Anyone caught making fun of the media for giving too much air time to Michael Jackson are 'elitists'.

Okay, I'm an elitist.
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
- Jiddu Krishnamurti
For shame on the U.S. media for treating his death as if it were 9/11 and Martin Luther King Jr. getting assassinated at the same time. I can't wait to see them choked to death until they're all gone.

Jul 3, 2009

Michael Jackson is STILL Dead

Turned on the Today Show this morning to see what the temperature was going to be today - for a half an hour that is stored in the TiVo RAM - NOTHING but dead Michael Jackson.

My God!

Now he was a great performer - an interesting singer, yes, yes.

But the Off the Wall and Thriller records were more about the engineering genius of Quincy Jones.

And to be fair, there was a Paul McCartney song on that Thriller album to help build a bridge for white folks to purchase the thing.

Michael is dead. Stop picking at the corpse.

There, how's that Blaspheming for you?

Jul 2, 2009

Hitler finds out Michael is Dead

Oh, oh, Hitler just heard that Michael Jackson died. Oh yeah, you bet it's NSFW.



It would have ended better with a shout out to Billy Mays, but eh, whatrugonnado?

It's not like you can just make these Hitler MEMEs yourself, right?