Unemployed Americans Have A New Full-time Job!

This "joke" was ripped directly from the headlines of - CNN: Unemployed Americans have a new full-time job: Filing for jobless benefits

It's the best Mort Drucker tribute I can give, at the moment.

The Wedding of Time Warner and AT&T

The United States Department of Justice said that Time Warner and AT&T can go ahead with their merger plans but only if they dump - the word they used was "divest" - CNN as part of the deal.

Time Warner (meaning, Ted Turner) flipped the judge the bird and the two are reportedly on their way to Vegas to get hitched by Elvis.

The two giant companies don't have a registry set up, however, in lieu of gifts, you can send cash. Mounds and mounds of cash.