Tonight's Tonight Show

I have in my grubby little hands, tonight's monologue for the Tonight Show. Yes. It's a Tad early, ain't it?

Well, it's topical - and since Conan has issued a statement that he's not going to participate in this Leno backtrack into the oncoming trainwreck that NBC has been brewing... I thought you'd want to get some laughs in early. I wonder how long he'll be showing up to work?

"Hello, my name is Conan O’Brien, and I may soon be available for children’s parties.

"Welcome to NBC. Where our new slogan is, 'No longer just screwing up prime-time.'

"When I was a little boy, I remember watching 'The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson' and thinking 'Someday, I’m going to host that show for 7 months.'

"NBC says they’re planning to have the late night situation worked out before the Winter Olympics start. And trust me, when NBC says something – you can take that to the bank!

"Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is still under fire for remarks he made about President Obama’s 'blackness.' Sources say Reid could face Congressional censure, or even worse, be promised the 'The Tonight Show' at 11:30.

God bless, Coco. You've got class. I salute you. May you make millions off the breach of contract and produce award winning television or movies.