Jul 12, 2009

Too Much WoW, What Should I Do?

Dear Cap'n,

My boyfriend is playing at least 40 hours a week of World of Warcraft. What should I do?

I met my current boyfriend in World of Warcraft. We had only known each other for a month, and we started having very strong feelings for each other almost immediately. After a week of talking, I got him plane tickets to see me. He only makes $800 a month at his current non-profit job, whereas I was working full time.

The first meeting in person was a bit awkward, and things were not as great. But we continued to communicate honestly, and I gave it another chance because of our strong feelings. I flew out to see him in his home state, and it was really nice.

So we had this sort of long-distance thing. He was going to graduate school this fall and could not move, so I would have to be the one to move. It was a difficult and monetarily unsound decision in this economy... nonetheless, I quit my job at the end of last month and moved across the country to live with him.

Looking back now, that was probably a mistake. I am still looking for a full-time job, even though I do web design and development and can do a little bit of freelancing from home. I have no friends here, and it's a very different place than the more liberal and easily walkable city I used to live in. We just play World of Warcraft all the time, and we hardly even communicate anymore.

When I brought up these issues to him, he said he would cut back, but he has not really done so. He currently has two maximum level characters decked out in all epics, and now he started to level a third character intending to gear that one, too. I play WoW with him in between doing my freelance work, but I feel like it is getting in the way of something else -- but what?

One time after a verbal fight with me, he deactivated his account and was pouty, and hinted at basically that I was taking away his favorite toy. We are both nerdy people, but I feel like I have more interests than just WoW. He gets a big ego boost out of leading raids and his in-game friendships, whereas I feel like the game is just a game. I do really care about him, even though he seems really addicted, so I don't want to just cut my losses and leave.

I am at a loss as to what to do.

Oh and if anyone's looking for a freelance web designer with XHTML/CSS/WordPress/Drupal/Joomla experience, please PM me. :)

Okay, first off, love getting fan mail. Thanks for the letter.

Second. You moved to be with this douche? You kind of deserve what you paid for. Nothing.

Third, could have done without the spam/advert for your services. I can't imagine, even if we WERE hiring here at Blasphemes I'd hire someone who's a big enough idiot to a) write me for advice b) doesn't understand that she shouldn't have moved, and started 'dating' anyone who only makes 800 bucks a month.... it sure is a non-profit - none for him!

I suggest that you leave at once. Discover who you are. Then, if you're still an idiot, find a UFO religion or drugs to occupy all that goddamn free time you have.


unemployed said...

Break up with him. Forty hours of WoW per week makes you a loser.

badger2 said...

Hopelove, do you believe you can do better?

To do that you don't really have to rationalize your decisions with statements like "his current non-profit job", that's a justification statement, your desire for us to see the best, not necessarily in him, but rather your decision to move in with him, after all if he's working for a non profit he must be a good guy, and your decision to move in with him therefore justified. Harsh yes, and I apologize for that upfront, but never the less at least somewhat accurate I suspect.

"But we continued to communicate honestly" another rationalization. I communicate honestly with my dog. When she eats my computer gear wiring I'm angry and honestly let her know why. Doesn't mean she understands a word I'm saying, or that she won't go for another wire the next chance she gets, UNLESS I actively prevent her from doing so, by removing the wires, spraying them with yuck taste, or occupying her with something else to chew. The options are many, the choice is mine.

Your post reads as though you have a choice to make, you already know what the decision has to be, and you're looking for validation.

Can't really give that, but I will say yuck taste is cheap when used early, and often. Sure beats the loss of a lifetimes worth of computer gear, if you get my meaning.

NeverMind said...

Is this person serious? Is she really that stupid? Wow. You got what you deserved! I will throw her a bone that at least she is questioning her decision. You need to pack up and leave. This should serve as a learning experience and nothing more. You will know what not to fall for next time.