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Nov 30, 2016

Trump Cabinet

The List So Far

Vice President: Indiana Governor Mike Pence

Chief of Staff: RNC Chairman Reince Priebus

Chief White House Strategist: Trump Campaign CEO Steve Bannon

Attorney General: Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions

Housing and Urban Development Secretary: Dr. Ben Carson

Health and Human Services Secretary: Georgia Congressman Tom Price

Transportation Secretary: Former Labor Secretary for George W. Bush Elaine Chao

Education Secretary: Betsy DeVos

Treasury Secretary: Steven Mnuchin

Commerce Secretary: Wilbur Ross

The one's we're all still waiting on:
Defense Secretary

Secretary of State

Department of Veterans Affairs Secretary

Homeland Security Secretary

Interior Secretary

Agriculture Secretary

Labor Secretary

Environmental Protection Agency Administrator

Office of Management and Budget Director

United States Trade Representative

Council of Economic Advisors Chairman

Small Business Administration Administrator

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Nov 27, 2016

New Cartoon 11-27-2016

Relevant text and link:

"Donald Trump refused to say that he'd respect the results of this election. That's a direct threat to our democracy! " ~ Hillary Clinton 10/24/16

Hillary Clinton’s Team to Join Wisconsin Recount Pushed by Jill Stein

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Nov 16, 2016

Another Original Cartoon November 16, 2016

Nov 7, 2016

Original Cartoon

Nov 3, 2016

When the Cubs Win the World Series

Full Disclosure: I am an abnormal fan of the Cleaning Ladys. Have been for decades. Related to one that I am willing to share.

Last night was the first time that I cried watching professional sports.

My beloved Cubs won the World Series. 

Let's read that sentence again. The CUBS have won the world series. Do you feel that? That little flutter in your heart. The CUBS have WON the world series. There are great things in life. Finding your love, birth of a child, life long friendships. They create a feeling in your soul. The CUBS have WON the WORLD SERIES. Sometimes all seems right in the world. Problems seem a little smaller; life seems a bit better. THE CUBS HAVE WON THE WORLD SERIES!

Seems impossible, right? Years of Grace, Dunston, Sosa, Dawkins, Sandburg, Williams, Banks, Santo.... they got so close. All those years are in the rear view mirror now. The 2016 Chicago Cubs are the World Series Champions. Today, we no longer live in the past. Today, we are winners.

Seems like not too long ago that we were the joke of sports. "Wait 'til next year" sign were held up at home openers. Cardinal fans wagging their tongues every visit to our fine city. In popular culture it was something that was always decades away. Depicted as a fantastical occurrence that would not happen. Last night it happened. Last night we won the World Series.


There was a song performed by the Cleaning Ladys circa 1997 named, "When the Cubs Win the World Series." As you can tell by my cohorts below, it is an election season. So, I decided to fact check the song polifact style.

Oct 27, 2016

Who I'm Voting For: None of the Above

Gary Johnson, the Libertarian Party candidate for president, supposedly filed a petition with the Federal Election Commission to change his name to “None of the Above” to improve his chances of winning the presidency. (He'd win in a landslide)

Johnson’s pollster Con “Spin” Fabulist told him that None of the Above was polling at 17 percent in national polls, trailing both Clinton and Trump but still above the 15 percent threshold to participate in the debates. The commission, however, requires that anyone participating in the debate “must be an actual person.”

Clearly, it's rigged.

Oct 17, 2016

Chicago Sports

Oct 9, 2016

Swingin' & Missin'

[editorial note: This posting will be classified
 "Not Safe For Work."  As stated on previous
 occasions, we normally try to minimize outright
 crudity of language on this site.  In this case,
 however, such crudity is the very germ of the
 discussion.  You are hereby advised to don some
 sort of protective eyewear before proceeding.]

"Well Aren't You Just the Sweetest Little Cuntcake."

"Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and
 tits, hah?  Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker,
 and tits... and 'tits' doesn't even belong on the list!"

"I... personally... prefer... the word...
 ...'pussy' hear me out!"

commentary by michael j wright

Credits for the quotations above...
The first comes from James Alexander, author and (I assume) artist of Memos to Shitty People: a Delightful and Vulgar Adult Coloring Book, which was a recent gift given to a woman I know well from a woman I wish I knew better.

The second quote is from an infamous George Carlin routine known by the titles "The Seven Words You Can't Say On Television" or more simply "The Seven Dirty Words."  Carlin did not compile the list himself.  He merely parroted a memo produced by the Federal Communications Commission.  The FCC is one of those sinister, semi-secret agencies of the Federal government that engages in freedom-robbing overreach by --ugh!-- regulating things, and nixing radio station call-letters like WHOR or KUNT, both of which would likely feature a music bloc known as the "Hot Wax Weekend," or their marketing department wouldn't be doing its job.  (Strange, is it not, that "wax" still manages to be evocative even though the substance's use as a recording medium died around the same time as the last Cubs world championship?  Go fig.)

The third is from comedian Kathy Griffin.  It is worth noting that she was not expressing her preference over the dreaded c-word, but rather her preference over the clinical term "vagina."

Now then, on to what raised my hackles...
You may of course go see for yourself the, ugh, meme we'll be discussing, or you can, heh, skip all that hopscotching around and just read about it here as if you possess impulse control.  The image is of a woman in a coffee shop reading E.L. James's 50 Shades of Grey.  The book dominates the foreground of the photo; the woman's face is out of the frame; there is a (I assume) caffeinated beverage nearby.  Get the picture?  The text overlay (I'll spare you the all-caps rendering) reads:

"If American women are so outraged
 at Trump's use of naughty words

 who in the hell bought 80 million
 copies of 50 Shades of Grey?"

Hear that?  That's the sound of someone taking a vicious hack and completely missing the pitch.

In a way, a swing and miss like this was inevitable.  For some time now our society has been polarizing itself along socio-political lines, like tiny iron flecks migrating toward red or blue magnets, to the point where we are developing two distinct dialects of American English.  It was one thing, once upon a time, to disagree, even passionately.  That is the way of a democratic republic: we argue, then we vote.  You can look it up in the book.

Now, though, we find it both hard and difficult to even understand each other.  Yes, I did that on purpose.  It is a poor example, but I'll use it anyway.  One side uses words like "hard" while the other side uses words like "difficult."  The blue team speaks in polysyllables, which the red team increasingly finds either confusing or pretentious, and in both cases suspicious.  The reds prefer short, blunt words, which the blues see as (hold on, now) inherently imprecise and indicative of an ignorant ideology in regard to important and intricate issues.  Basically, the blues feel the reds are trying, verbally, to perform surgery with a plastic spoon, while the reds think the blues are silly, and possibly dangerous, for trying to eat soup with a scalpel.

Still, despite all this, I find it difficult hard to believe I have to explain the actual source of the most recent exasperation outrage that is toward Donald Trump.  Perhaps the people who try to make this argument, such as it is, are being deliberately obtuse: avoiding the issue of what Trump said by falsely fixating on how he said it.

Yet I sally forth...

"If American women are so outraged
 at Trump's use of naughty words..."

You will want to mark the time and place at which you encountered the following argument, Dear Reader, because I --of all people-- am about to advise not getting bogged down in semantics.  Hard to believe, I know.  I feel faintly like a guy who has just stepped out of a tilt-a-whirl.

It isn't Trump's "naughty" words that have gotten people upset; it is the sentiments ideas he expressed with those words.  Oh sure, some of his critics will try to score bonus runs by pointing out the vulgarity of the terms he used, but that is mere steak sauce on the red meat of his profane attitudes regarding women and sex, and his sense of entitlement to same irrespective of the other person's interest in or willingness to grant such attentions.

In... well, in other words, a man who groped a woman's breast without permission is every bit as much a creep as one who unwantedly "felt up her tits."  A man who swats someone's derriere is being, chances are, just as inappropriate as one who "smacks them on the ass."  A man who, in the absence of foreplay and/or a medical license, firmly grasps the area of another person's genitals, or even talks about doing so, should be slapped in the face by whomever is closest.

I could escalate these examples, but modesty fucking forbids.

"If American women are so outraged
 at Trump's use of naughty words..."

People are not outraged by the naughtiness of Trump's words.  They're not even surprised.  What they are appalled by is the notion of a 70-year-old man who still has the emotional attitudes of a particularly crass 15-year-old boy, and the blind arrogance to believe he truly is the absolute shit.

P.S.... I, personally, prefer the term "tallywacker."  Enjoy the playoffs.