The Edwards Affair

The next president must be "honest and sincere. We don't need the world's greatest politician as president. We need somebody we can trust." - John Edwards, New Hampshire 2008

Dear Cap'n, Why do you give such a sh*t about this John Edwards thing? Really? Who gives a rat's ass? And if you're trying to say that Democrats are cheaters I've got two Republicans Newt and DeLay - and they're not the gay cheaters!

Signed, Artie Lang

Dear Artie,

Hope all is going well in rehab. Sorry you missed out on the Bob Saget roast on Comedy Central. To address your fine letter about my concerns and coverage of the John Edwards 'affair': First he cheated. Second, on the job. Third, he lied and had co-workers cover it up. Four, he got caught. Five, he lied some more. Six, he still hasn't really apologized.

Here's a little snippet of his "apology"...

From John Edward's statement: (here's the rest of it)
In 2006, I made a serious error in judgment and conducted myself in a way that was disloyal to my family and to my core beliefs. I recognized my mistake and I told my wife that I had a liaison with another woman, and I asked for her forgiveness. Although I was honest in every painful detail with my family, I did not tell the public. When a supermarket tabloid told a version of the story, I used the fact that the story contained many falsities to deny it. But being 99% honest is no longer enough.

I was and am ashamed of my conduct and choices, and I had hoped that it would never become public. With my family, I took responsibility for my actions in 2006 and today I take full responsibility publicly.

He follows this by devoting a whole paragraph to the assertion that "the child is not mine." In the statement he hopes to distract from the fact that, he cheated on his wife, his wife with terminal cancer, with a woman he worked with, then continued to lie about it even when confronted by the facts - and only up until it was too late - and then admitted it on a Friday, (where bad political news goes to be hidden) - and the same Friday of the Olympics Opening ceremony - in a blatant attempt to bury the story so that it would soon be forgotten.

So other than all that, Artie, I don't care about his sex life. You're right to point out Newt and DeLay - and they also don't have political careers anymore. And for good reason. What I do care about, Artie, is that John Edwards never has had a shred of integrity or honesty. As you know, I've never liked his phony-baloney career built on down-home little guy North Carolina working-man values centered on his 31-year marriage to Elizabeth and on their four children. You better believe I'm going to say "I tolda' so."

On top of his sham image and values nonsense talking points... As a candidate, he doesn't have the political common sense to not screw around when under the massive campaign microscope. And then lies about it when he gets caught!

"The story is false, it's completely untrue, it's ridiculous," -John Edwards, October 2007 after the National Enquirer broke the story.

John Edward's political defects show him for the empty-suit and a haircut that he is. His character and personal defects aside, do you want the most powerful political leader in the world to not be able to figure out how to hide a little personal fling with an under qualified campaign staffer?

The ability to have sex with numerous young and nubile women has been, is, and will probably always be one of the fringe benefits of high office. Kennedy, Eisenhower, Eleanor Roosevelt: they all had side poon - hell maybe everybody did. The point is, because there's not a lot of evidence shows that they were all better at hiding their indiscretion. And yes, Bill Clinton got caught and was able to survive, but 8 years later he had to pay the piper by campaigning for Hillary. Edward's stupidity in getting caught, and stupidity in lying about it shows he's not capable of holding the highest office.

I expect a bit more from my President, and my Presidential candidates. Getting caught with his pants down and trying to talk his way out of it is not one of those expectations. I feel sorry for all those people who voted or campaigned for him - because he cheated on all of them too.

"If you want to beat me up, feel free," Edwards said in his Friday statement. "You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself. I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help."

I seriously doubt that, John. I seriously doubt that.