Air Travel Fun

How piss off the person next to you on a plane: open your laptop, take a deep breath, pull up this URL.

Clicky clicky.

Clunkers

The White House Says 'Clunkers' Rebate Plan Will Go On

The White House said Friday that the "cash for clunkers" program was still alive even though the $1 billion that
Congress had appropriated for it has already been snapped up. Read More:

Cash For Clunkers was doomed just like Oprah's KFC free chicken. It was a pile of paperwork and ever-changing rules. There was only $1 Billion put in the plan. So, at a max of $4000, that's oh, let's pretend about 12 per dealership nationwide.

My guess there were over 100 people banging on the dealership glass window lookin' for theirs.

Okay, let me get my score card out here...

Bail Out - fail
North Korea - fail
Iran ending their nuclear ambitions - fail
Cash for Clunkers - fail
Government Health Care ... oh, hold on! That'll be a win!

What the hell, folks? What HAS worked from this gang of Idiots in Congress and the Obama Administration?

Can anyone give me a Win here?

Yer Kids R Lurnin'

Looks like your game needs some grammar Nazis.

Knowing Is Half The Battle

The Next Beer Summit

Rights Cannot be Negotiated Away Over Beer

Professor Gates drinking a beer at the White House talkin' about racial issues in America with the racist cop who arrested him in his home. What a country.

"We hit it off right from the beginning. When he’s not arresting you, Sergeant Crowley is a really likable guy." Said Prof. Henry Louis Gates Jr. during the get-together over beer at the White House.

It isn't about race. -- It's about authority.
The cop HAD to arrest him, to save face and authority in the community. Right?

NO. This isn't about race. It shouldn't have been anyway. It should have been about the police and the state's right to enter his house legally. They did not. Gates had the right to tell the cop to take a hike - or come back with a warrant. Period.

There is absolutely no legal requirement to be polite in the defense of the right of being the sovereign of his own home and privacy. And such rights cannot be negotiated away over beer.

Professor Gates should have taken his stand on the Bill of Rights and not on his epidermis or that of the arresting officer, and, if he didn't have the presence of mind to do so, that needn't inhibit the rest of us.

Chris Hitchens

i.e. Professor Gate's mistake was making about race (His epidermis was showing) not about his Constitutional Rights.

So, it's about race. The race card. Police brutality, authority, the 60's, the post-race president, health care derailed...

Too much has been said about the Blue Moon, Red Stripe and Budweiser beer being served tonight at the White House.

Why Budweiser? Not something I think of sipping while talking about racism.

You see, a few years back Rev. Jackson led a boycott against Budweiser, denouncing the company for discrimination. TV crews lit up as he poured Bud onto the street with a sneer, pronouncing, "This Bud is a dud!"

But magically Budweiser was no longer racist once his sons were given the exclusive Budweiser distributorship for the North Side of Chicago. Then, Bud was not a dud. Bud had experienced a teachable moment, and Bud passed the test.

I wonder if the rest of us will.

Welcome to Chicago: USA.

Say it ain't so, Manny

Ortiz and Ramirez Said to Be on the 2003 Doping List!

Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz, who both somehow ended the Boston Red Sox 86-year World Series drought, then did it again three years later, were among the roughly 100 Major League Baseball players to test positive for 'something' in 2003, according to lawyers with knowledge of the results.

All I can say is that I'm shocked, shocked to hear this shocking shocking news!

So? Can we put an asterix on the Red Sox World Series Wins, then? Can we dial them back to 91 year drought?

A Serious Man

Okay kids, here's the latest on the new Coen brothers film coming October 2nd.

From the site: (probably tmi - ie spoilers, but, eh, what the hell?)

A Serious Man is the story of an ordinary mans search for clarity in a universe where Jefferson Airplane is on the radio and F-Troop is on TV. It is 1967, and Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg), a physics professor at a quiet Midwestern university, has just been informed by his wife Judith (Sari Lennick) that she is leaving him. She has fallen in love with one of his more pompous colleagues, Sy Ableman (Fred Melamed), who seems to her a more substantial person than the feckless Larry. Larrys unemployable brother Arthur (Richard Kind) is sleeping on the couch, his son Danny (Aaron Wolf) is a discipline problem and a shirker at Hebrew school, and his daughter Sarah (Jessica McManus) is filching money from his wallet in order to save up for a nose job. While his wife and Sy Ableman blithely make new domestic arrangements, and his brother becomes more and more of a burden, an anonymous hostile letter-writer is trying to sabotage Larrys chances for tenure at the university.

Also, a graduate student seems to be trying to bribe him for a passing grade while at the same time threatening to sue him for defamation. Plus, the beautiful woman next door torments him by sunbathing nude. Struggling for equilibrium, Larry seeks advice from three different rabbis. Can anyone help him cope with his afflictions and become a righteous person a mensch a serious man?

90's Theme Party

I got word that someone was having a 90's theme party. At first, I thought "why?" since the 80's were so much funnier and had much better drugs.

But then I thought about it a bit - and was thinking how I would host something like that. I mean instead of just getting a keg of Natural Light and putting it in the basement.

First, it would have to be a costume party. Again, not as funny as 80's fashion - no leg warmers, Madonna-circa Like a Virgin, no Michael Jackson jackets, no Crockets or Tubbs, Gordon Gekkos with giant Motorola cell phones ... man, you sure you don't want an 80's party?

Anyhow - the most important part of the 90's costumes would be mandatory goatees for the guys. As host, you put out a bowl of glue-on fake goatees from Mr. Fun or the local costume shop, or if you're a cheap ass like myself, you put out a big black Sharpie and force every male to draw one on. Perfect.

And they must wear either Obsession, Polo or Drakkar Noir cologne.

Soundtrack? Well, if you don't have too much time, you could just play the Singles soundtrack all evening. If you're more intense, you only get two CD players. NO iPODS! Have your DJ Mix some U2, a couple R.E.M. tunes, Alanis Morrisette, and Red Hot Chili Peppers for the cocktail hour. Then build up to Nirvana, Pearl Jam and Smashing Pumpkins for a mosh pit. Perhaps some ska?

Throw in some Snoop, 2Pac, Biggie, that one Coolio hit, and Dr. Dre then ramp up to just Techno while you hand out the glow sticks, pacifiers and whistles. Toward the end of the evening kill the party with some Dave Mathews, Smash Mouth and Blues Traveler. If there's anyone still there at 6 AM, play Backstreet Boys and Hanson.

Everyone must smoke cigarettes. Inside.

Dude attire: The Mandatory goatee, wallet chain, black band shirt - I prefer an early Sonic Youth concert shirt, red flannel over it - unbuttoned. Semi faded jeans - with big holes, white thermal under wear showing through, Doc Martins boots, or Doc Martins with white socks.

Or - any outfit worn on The Fresh Prince of Bell Air. Hammer pants are acceptable as well. You could dress up like the kids from Saved By the Bell... but try not to. Acid washed cargo pants still look stupid.

Chicks: Boots and patterned tights, medalions with anchs or something. Think Hope Sandoval from Mazzy Star. You can get away with a Goth look, with less makeup. Or just go with olive green - as olive green was the color of the entire decade.

For the less inspired, knoted tie-dye t-shirts, babydoll dresses and a side ponytail. Or just watch the movie 'Clueless' and pick an outfit.

You can also wear an awareness ribbon - as AIDS still killed you in the 90's.

Zima will be offered, but no one will drink it. Everyone will think it's funny, but then be offended.

Got anymore ideas?

Remote Controlled Icarus

Cassidy Lockett Saves Her Family

An Idaho mom used her .22 caliber handgun to scare away two criminals who escaped from prison while they tried to break into her home.

Cassidy Lockett, of Cottonwood, Idaho was at home with her young children when she noticed two men trying to break in. She hid the children behind a couch, and grabbed her .22 caliber pistol. By then, one of the home invading criminals was half way in to her home through a window. She pointed the pistol at the criminal, and told him to leave. That home invader, and another who was trying to break in through the front door, both fled. The sheriff's department later determined that these two home invaders were Richard Nieves and Ben Westley Perez, who were escaped criminals. The sheriff's department then presented Cassidy with a certificate of achievement for her courage.

What an amazing story. A woman, with her kids, watching Max and Ruby (I don't know that, I'm just injecting it into the story...) minding their own. When out of no where, a crashing window and there's a pair of fugitives almost in her house! What would the story have been if she hadn't been armed? Could Cassidy have fended off one man? How about two? What would have happened to the kids?

Luckily for the Lockett children, their mom was prepared for the unlikely but actual attack by wanted criminals - She truly deserves the commendation from the local sheriff, and an appearance on Oprah.

Hug your kids.

28?

So some 33 year old dude was arrested after inhaling 28 cans of whipped cream at a Wal-Mart in Florida, it was reported.

Dude was observed by a loss prevention officer picking up, opening and sniffing the seven-ounce cans of whip cream, according to the arrest report.

Each can contained nitrous oxide, or laughing gas, and when inhaled will "induce a condition of intoxication." He was arrested for inhalation of harmful substance.

Katie Tammen / Florida Freedom Newspapers

It Is Official: Michael Jackson is STILL Dead

Michael Jackson's doctor administered a drug that authorities now believe might have actually killed him! Yes, after weeks of speculation and 24/7 coverage, the self nicknamed 'King of Pop,' Michael Jackson, might actually, be dead. Perhaps now, just now, the AP and all the toadies that buy their wire service have finally decided that in fact, Michael Jackson could be dead- and might have been dead for about a full month now.

An official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the investigation on whether Michael Jackson is, in fact, dead is ongoing. The official provided a glimpse inside Jackson's rented mansion that he used before his 'alleged death' describing the room Jackson slept in as outfitted with oxygen tanks and an IV drip. There's no point in putting that stuff into a dead person, since they don't use oxygen or IV. However, another of his rented bedrooms was a shambles, with clothes and other items strewn about and handwritten notes stuck on the walls. One read: "children are sweet and innocent." No word on whether Michael Jackson had a note about other sweet and innocent things - such as KFC's new grilled chicken. It boggles the mind what other great songs may have come from that disheveled room. Perhaps a song about doing the laundry?

The world will never know, since, it's possible that the King of Pop is now, probably, dead.

Lose Weight Now!

These Snickers 'snack' bars are amazing!

Here's the Punk who took out 4Chan

AT&T was reportedly blocking its customers from seeing a Web site it doesn't like, 4chan.org. But, dear Blasphemes readers, it was in fact THIS KID: Joshu2uber

"I am not afraid gods power and the authorities will defeat and destroy anonymous and 4chan"

Look, the nicest thing you can say about 4chan is that it's "the Mos Eisley of the web." But it seems that the defender of Scientology and the taker-downer of 4chan has succeeded in this plot - and really DID have god on his side. Good work, Joshu2uber - you did it. Please spare the rest of us.

I found Jesus at the Slayer show.

I found Jesus at the Slayer show.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

You might be too young, or too old for this one. It was Kidd Video. The title sequence explained the plot; Kidd Video and his band of the same name (played by live-action performers in the first half of the title sequence) were kidnapped by a villain named Master Blaster - no relation to the guy under the Thunderdome.

Master Blaster transported the kids another dimension, a cartoon world called The Flipside. They were rescued by a fairy named Glitter, and subsequently spent each episode of the series either helping to free the denizens of the Flipside from Master Blaster's rule, or trying to find a way back to the "real world". Master Blaster, who seemed to be a cartoonization of a corrupt rock manager or music executive, flew around the sky in his floating castle, which resembled a giant jukebox, and his henchmen were a group of anthropomorphic cats called The Copycats, so-called because they lip-synched their songs.

In 1984, this was obviously an attempt to make a buck off of the amazing success of MTV. The band itself was composed of:

* Kidd Video: Lead singer and guitarist
* Carla: The drummer, who often exclaims "Ay-Ay-Ay!"
* Whiz: The nerdy guitar and keyboard player, who had a pet robot toolbox named "Toolbot" in the second season
* Ash: The clumsy keyboardist also plays bass and saxophone

All I know is that Carla really made the show worth watching. I didn't quite understand why in 1984... but I'm sure it has to do with those red shoes she's wearing.

Back Peddle on Gates story

Obama Says He Regrets His Language on Gates Arrest

President Obama said Friday that he "could have calibrated" his words more carefully in the racially-charged controversy over the arrest of a Harvard professor, making a surprise appearance at the daily White House briefing to try and cool the tensions surrounding the case.

Mr. Obama said he had talked to the arresting officer and hoped the case could become "a teachable moment" to be used to improve relations between minorities and police officers.

So, like I assumed - this issue wasn't Black and White? There might be more to what it looks like? Hmmm?

I assumed that for the Cambridge Police to decide to pursue what they knew was going to make national news - that Professor Gates must have been a raving assh*le, or something else. I know two things - the whole story isn't out, and Dave Chapelle had a great bit about almost the exact same thing....

Dave Chappelle Stand Up - Scared Of The Police

Hat Fail

Is it possible to be this stupid?

Fashion before function. Thy name is conformity.

AP to go After Cutn'Pasters

The Associated Press has taken the first move, after 20 years of the internet, to protect its craptacular content online. It plans to create a news registry to tag and track all AP online content "to assure compliance with terms of use," according to an announcement following a board decision. Which means they're going to be running a plagiarism search on blogs and news aggregators.

"The system will register key identifying information about each piece of content that AP distributes as well as the terms of use of that content, and employ a built-in beacon to notify AP about how the content is used," it adds.

And then they'll probably send an angry cease and desist email - followed by RIAA-like trails looking to recoup some money. Good luck with that. We haven't sold one T-shirt and I think Blasphemes made a whopping .0001 cents last year because someone accidentally hit one of the Google Ad Sense banners while they were trying to get off the site.

In blogging terms, they'll be looking for cut'npaste articles. I wonder if they offer a discount for snarky remarks and attempts at witticism? Unlikely.

"What we are building here is a way for good journalism to survive and thrive," Dean Singleton, chairman of the AP Board of Directors and vice chairman and CEO of MediaNews Group Inc, said in a statement. "The AP news registry will allow our industry to protect its content online, and will assure that we can continue to provide original, independent and authoritative journalism at a time when the world needs it more than ever."

Good journalism from the AP?! Pass what you're smokin', sir. I have not YET come across original, independent or authoritative review of ANY of Obama's policies and bills - including the Stimulus Package and the Health 'Insurance' Reform packages. How about discussing the two wars we're waging? How about --what? They're out there? Oh, they're underneath 18 hundred tons of Michael Jackson still being dead and we went to the Moon 40 years ago. You know what, AP - maybe it's time you stepped up your game to give us something worth while to steal - then we'll have a discussion about whether it's worth paying for.

And the news you do crank out is so biased and one sided - and usually so not 'news' that there are entire sites built around how idiotic you are - see Newsbusters and Fark for the two top examples.

And for the record - the little widget on the side of Blasphemes is posting AP headlines from Yahoo. Take a page from the RIAA's public relations successes. I suggest you take up your issue with the big boys first before trying to go after bloggers.

No Healthcare Vote

I just got word that the Senate won't be voting Health Care before their break, which is bad for Obama - and good for the Senate. Well, their pockets anyway.

Sen. Harry Reid, finally acknowledged publicly the inescapable political reality that has been clear for several days. There's 1) too much pressure from the hometown constituents - who are polling under the 50% approval rate on this whole 'free' healthcare idea 2) Obama is losing popularity for trying to Rahm this bill through, while admitting he hasn't read it 3) there's SOOOOO much more money to be fleeced from Big Phrama, the AMA, and insurance companies for Congressional re-election campaigns.

Read More, Know More

Jesus is the Reason... for US History

Christians aim to change the history lessons in Texas Schools.

It seems since they got kicked out of Science class, they're going to rewrite history now?

State's education board to consider adding Christianity's role in American history to curriculum.

You know, I'd be fine with that - as long as they explain that it was because the Puritans were so obnoxious and intolerant of everyone else they were booted out of England and the Netherlands. That's why they came to settle in the New World. So, from a certain point of view they are correct. I have a feeling that it won't go that way.

How about how the aim of many colonies was to create the right conditions for Christ's return? A 'new-Eden,' a new-Jerusalem. Utopian Christian Paradise on Earth. How'd that work out?

But will someone explain why these adults are so concerned about injecting religion into the classroom? Are they so insecure with their own beliefs that they have to try to indoctrinate their faith to children to prop up their own insecurities... oh wait, that might be it.

Apparently they're not able to do it at home or at their church - so why not the public schools? The larger question is, shouldn't there be some kind of test - maybe the IQ type - to be on a Da Broad of Edumychon? If there is, shouldn't it be a little harder than a driver's test?

N.J. Takes on IL

F.B.I. Arrests Dozens in N.J. Corruption Sweep

F.B.I. agents are sweeping across northern New Jersey, making arrests in what is described as a major corruption probe. It seems that New Jersey was falling behind IL in corruption and they asked the F.B.I. to help prop up their bull pin and are only a full game ahead in the standings.

Here are the standings after the F.B.I. stepped in...

TEAM	W	L	GB	RS	RA
New Jersey	51	46	-	424	399
Illinois	48	45	1	393	383

WNBC-TV in New York reported and showed images of the mayors of Hoboken and Secaucus being taken into F.B.I. headquarters in Newark. The station also showed rabbis being taken into custody.

"It's an awesome day for New Jersey. Looks like we're doing something to take on those so-called crooks in Illinois," mentioned Mr. Walnuts - a big New Jersey fan.

Of course, New Orleans leads all of the States with an amazing year:

TEAM	W	L	GB	RS	RA
New Orleans	61	34	-	478	364

Read More:

Dems vow to Defeat Gun Amendment

Democratic senators today vowed to defeat a Republican amendment that would loosen gun control restrictions across the country – a proposal Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid allowed to be brought to the floor on the annual Defense authorization bill.

“Why would we want to walk the streets wondering, ‘Who has a gun in their pockets?’” asked Democratic Senatorial Committee Chairman Robert Menendez (D-N.J.).

And my thought, along with other folks who support concealed carry say - THAT'S EXACTLY THE POINT! The bad guys, the gang bangers, the car jackers, the opportunists, the rapists and the downright evil f*cks who already have guns will be thinking - maybe for the first time - and wondering if they're going to have to live the Golden Rule.

Read more about this issue

The map illustrates where concealed carry is still a problem - meaning, those places where a permit and license aren't allowed. Kind of funny, looking at that map... how similar their tastes in the second amendment and the electorial college voting seems to be.

Islam has Funky Visions Too

Many Blasphemes readers will probably remember the when the image of the Virgin Mary was allegedly discovered in a grilled cheese sandwich. It was sold on eBay to an online casino for $28,000 in November 2004. Perhaps the time she showed up in Chicago, under an I90 overpass? How about the time Jesus showed up in a taco in Mexico City, last Tuesday? Ah, Christianity of the Americas.

But look, Christians aren’t the only folks to spot their religious images in the goings about of their everyday life. Islam has the same phenomenon, although as icons and images are blasphemous in Islam, all of the instances of such “images” are of Arabic words, not pictures. Here are three more famous instances that I've found.

An Oscar fish found in an aquarium in England supposedly bears the word ‘Mohammed’ on one side and ‘Allah’ on the other.

An eggplant which was cut in half to reveal the name ‘Allah’ inside.

An egg with a series of brown ridges that appeared to spell out ‘Allah’ in Arabic, photographed in Cape Town in 1998.

The egg looks like a screen cap of the new David Lynch classic film : Egg God Head

Paul vs Bernanke

Ron Paul questions Ben Bernanke on definition of inflation

Paul: You threatening me?
Bernanke: Yep.

Meanwhile, no one else in the room even understands what's going on.

No More Raptors

Senate has voted to strip $1.75 Billion for F-22s from the Defense Bill

The Senate voted 58-40 to delete financing for seven more F-22 warplanes from a defense spending bill, handing President Obama a victory in his effort to reshape the military's priorities. Mr. Obama threatened to veto the $679.8 billion spending bill if it included any money for the planes, which had highlighted a larger battle over his push to shift the Pentagon's resources from conventional warfare to fighting insurgencies.

Read More:

Okay, that's fine. 1.75 - but WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 680 BILLION?!

Man, that Air Show is going to suck this year without new Raptors.

Bush Lite

Campaign Obama: I'll stop torture, abide by the Geneva Conventions and roll back NSA wiretapping programs.

President Obama: Torture will continue, we will hold detainees even after they're found Innocent, and you bet we're going to keep spying on Americans.

I didn't even mention that he is now encouraging failed banks and companies receiving government bailouts to hand out large bonuses to their executives, staffed his entire Treasury Department with Goldman Sachs alumni, has refused to prosecute Americans who committed torture, and held private meetings with coal executives and continued to push for mythical ‘clean coal’.

And he has committed to a Surge in Afghanistan that he was against in Iraq.

He's Bush-Lite.

Discuss.

Space Toilet

Cut'npaste from Tribune.

What hit Jupiter?

NASA says something did.
• Astronauts fix toilet

Awesome. Glad to see that toilet is fixed.

Upcoming 'Bank Holiday'

A top investment advisor, Harry Schultz - who was MarketWatch's Peter Brimelow pick for financial newsletter of the Year in 2008 - is now claiming:

Some U.S. embassies worldwide are being advised to purchase massive amounts of local currencies; enough to last them a year. Some embassies are being sent enormous amounts of U.S. cash to purchase currencies from those governments, quietly. But not pound sterling. Inside the State Dept., there is a sense of sadness and foreboding that 'something' is about to happen ... within 180 days, but could be 120-150 days.

Investment advisor and former Army Counterintelligence officer Bob Chapman is saying the same thing, reporting on the possibility of a so-called “bank holiday” planned for late August or early September. According to Chapman’s sources, U.S. embassies around the world are selling dollars and stockpiling money from respective countries where they operate.

Leading trend forecaster Gerald Calente has also repeatedly predicted a "bank holiday".

But the rumors of embassies being advised to stockpile local currency is stunning and - if true - point to a possible huge devaluation in the dollar.

Depression 2.0 Watch continues. Got Ammo?

Never Gonna Give Your Teen Spirit up

Nirvana vs Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give Your Teen Spirit up

Vegetarians, from the other point of view!

Man, I love these guys... Vegetarians, from the other side of view.

Guns, More than Ever

The Billings double murder is the latest example of just how vulnerable we all are to the violent tendencies of evil people. For this reason, every American should resist any and all attempts by government to curtail or restrict our legal right to keep and bear arms... And to wisely look at the second in the exact same light as the first. Once you look a the second as to be as equally important as the first, exercise your rights. Go to a shooting range. Learn gun safety. Shoot a gun. You can even purchase a gun once you feel you have learned basic safety and responsibility of that purchase. Your life and Our liberty may depend on it.

Fortunately, America's founders were wiser than what passes as a 'leader' around here today. They understood the relationship between the citizen's right to keep and bear arms for safety and security.

Thomas Jefferson said, "No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms." He also said, "Laws that forbid the carrying of arms . . . disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes . . . Such laws make things worse for the assaulted and better for the assailants; they serve rather to encourage than to prevent homicides, for an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man."

Likewise, Thomas Paine said, "Arms, like laws, discourage and keep the invader and plunderer in awe, and preserve order in the world as well as property . . . Horrid mischief would ensue were one-half the world deprived of the use of them; for while avarice and ambition have a place in the heart of man, the weak will become prey to the strong. The history of every age and nation establishes these truths, and facts need but little arguments when they prove themselves."

Paine's words ring true for the people of Iran, don't they?

Birther Rebuffs Army and Bama: Updates and New Developments

Retired general, lieutenant colonel join reservist’s lawsuit over Obama's birth status
By Lily Gordon

A controversial suit brought by a U.S. Army reservist (see our previous story here at Blasphemes: Birther Rebuffs Army and Bama) has been joined by a retired Army two-star general and an active reserve Air Force lieutenant colonel.

Maj. Stefan Frederick Cook filed the suit July 8 in federal court asking for conscientious objector status and a preliminary injunction based upon his belief that President Barack Obama is not a natural-born citizen of the United States and is therefore ineligible to serve as president of the United States and commander-in-chief of the U.S. Armed Forces.

However, before the issue got to court, Cook’s orders to deploy to Afghanistan were revoked. Lt. Col. Maria Quon, a public affairs officer with the U.S. Army Human Resources Command-St. Louis, said Tuesday that Cook was no longer expected to report Wednesday to MacDill Air Force Base in Florida for mobilization to active duty. Cook, who claims he is now the victim of retaliation due to his suit, received his mobilization orders to report for active duty at MacDill on Wednesday. From there, he was to go to Fort Benning on Saturday for deployment to Afghanistan.

Cook is an Individual Mobilization Augmentee. This means he’s a reserve soldier assigned to an active component unit consisting of active duty soldiers instead of a reserve unit, which is composed entirely of reserve soldiers. He is assigned to the U.S. Army Element of U.S. Southern Command.

As you'll remember, Cook filed a request in federal court seeking a temporary restraining order and status as a conscientious objector represented by California attorney Orly Taitz - who is also a 'birther'.

The government, in its response to the suit, claims that Cook’s suit is “moot” in that he already has been told he doesn’t have to go to Afghanistan, so the relief he is seeking has been granted.

“The Commanding General of SOCCENT (U.S. Special Operations Central Command) has determined that he does not want the services of Major Cook, and has revoked his deployment orders,” the response states.

In a pleading revised after the revocation of Cook’s orders, Taitz argues that the application for preliminary injunction is not moot and that retired Maj. Gen. Carol Dean Childers and active U.S. Air Force reservist Lt. Col. David Earl Graeff have joined the suit “because it is a matter of unparalleled public interest and importance and because it is clearly a matter arising from issues of a recurring nature that will escape review unless the Court exercises its discretionary jurisdiction.”

Cook’s resubmitted Application for Preliminary Injunction is meant to encompass the possibility of Cook receiving future orders for deployment as well as to address and prevent “negative collateral consequences such as retaliation against Major Stefan Frederick Cook ...”

As to the retaliation issue, the revised suit states Cook lost his job at Simtech Inc., a corporation that does Department of Defense contracting in the field of information technology/systems integration, because of the suit. It also states that Cook has been subjected to “gossip” from people who believed Cook was “manipulating his deployment orders to create a platform for political purposes.”

Taitz, who has challenged the legitimacy of Obama’s presidency in other courts, filed the original suit with the U.S. District Court for the Middle District of Georgia. Two similar suits have previously been thrown out of federal court.

In the filing, Cook states he “would be acting in violation of international law by engaging in military actions outside the United States under this President’s command. … simultaneously subjecting himself to possible prosecution as a war criminal by the faithful execution of these duties.”

A hearing to discuss Cook’s requests is scheduled to take place in federal court.

More updates to follow, as very few other people are following this story.

Golden Food Market Shootout Update

So I cutn'pasted an exclusive interview with the gun owner who saved lives in the Richmond Golden Market shooting last week. Here's the follow up story:

On Friday I received a surprise call from the gun owner who has been in the press this week for saving lives at a Richmond store. The gun owner used a replica 1875 Remington Army .45 Long Colt with a 7 1/2 inch barrel to stop a criminal who had shot the store's owner.

He wanted to remain anonymous, but called so that the story could be set straight, as much of what was in the press wasn't accurate. Probably also the Blasphemes story.

Board member Dennis O'Connor and I ended up meeting with him at the Golden Market store, where the shooting had taken place one week earlier.

Besides being able to actually see the layout of the store, Dennis and I got to see the security videos of the shooting!

We also got to meet the store owner who had been shot twice during the hold up, but is now back at his store.

Here is what we know from talking to the gun owner and watching the videos:

The gun owner (A.K.A. White Hat, because he's one of the good guys) was in the store waiting in line to pay for an item when the bad guy (A.K.A. Black Hat, because he's a scum sucking villain) came in wearing dark sunglasses and trying to coverup his face while brandishing a revolver. The Black Hat yelled for everyone to get down and before anybody could react, immediately walked over to the store owner and in a cold-blooded fashion shot him twice. The owner then dropped down behind the counter. It wasn't more than 2 seconds after the Black Hat first walked in the doors that he shot the store owner.

Those shots at the store owner missed a teenage boy's head by inches.

The White Hat yelled for the Black Hat to drop his gun as the White drew his gun. Black opened fire on the. White returned fire, hitting Black as White dove hard for the floor behind some barrels full of ice and drinks.

Black Hat ran towards the back of the store, aiming his gun at an innocent man laying prone on the floor. Luckily Black Hat was too distracted by White Hat to shoot the man. There is no doubt in my mind that the man would have been shot in cold blood that day if it weren't for White Hat returning fire.

Black Hat kept trying to get to the front of the store by walking up various aisles and firing shots at the White Hat as he did so. At one point cans of tinned meat exploded on a shelf as Black took a shot at White Hat.

What was bizarre was that Black actually was strutting around like he owned the place while under fire! As he approached the front of one aisle, he again pointed a gun at a person on the ground and was about to execute him, when he was again distracted by White Hat.

Finally White Hat spotted Black Hat at the front of an aisle standing in the open.

Much to his surprise, White discovered that when he dove hard for the floor he had somehow broken the trigger on his gun!

But the gun was a single action, so White pushed himself up with one arm, aimed the gun, pulled the hammer back and let it fly forward - twice.

Although seriously wounded three times, Black Hat came at White Hat. Black tried to grab White's gun since Black was out of ammunition. A life-and-death struggle began. White got a grip on Black's gun and White hit Black, twice, hard on the temple with the 7 1/2" barrel on his rather heavy gun.

Black Hat finally broke off the engagement, tried to run out the front door, but collapsed at the door.

White secured Black's gun and keeping an eye on the now unconscious bad guy, called 9-1-1.

Black Hat has now died (he was in critical condition since the shooting).

The police showed up a minute or so after the 9-1-1 call and initially had everyone in the store at gun point and handcuffed some until they could figure out who was who.

What really impressed me was that on the surveillance video, the owner, while shot twice by Black Hat, was walking around making sure that all of his customers were OK after the shooting had ended. He only let himself collapse after he was sure they were OK! Words fail me on this. I am so glad that he made it. What a dichotomy - Black Hat who shoots an innocent person without provocation, almost killing a teenager while doing so - caring for no one but himself. And then the store owner who, while seriously wounded, making sure his customers were OK. Evil exists and so does Good. Both were on display in those two minutes of terror. Luckily only the bad guy was killed. The owner was walking with a limp, clearly in some pain.

A lot of people owe their lives to White Hat. However, he is having none of it, saying that he simply did what he had to do.

--

The White Hat wanted me to share the following points:

* Buy a quality gun - don't use some cheap $90 gun to protect your life. He considered his gun to be a good one and even then the trigger broke under the extreme stress of a life-and-death battle.

* Practice with your gun, get training, and be good with that gun.

* More and more Black Hats are choosing to kill in cold blood to get what they want. If they can't live the "good life, " then they don't care if their crimes send them to jail.

* He also noted that fewer and fewer Black Hats are getting any jail time.

Here are my thoughts from watching that tape:

* Talk about a cold-blooded, fast attack where an innocent was shot without warning! Unbelievable. Situational awareness is really important. Luck doesn't hurt, either.

* Open carry was an advantage in this case because in the video I saw just how fast White Hat managed to draw his gun and begin to return fire. You always hear about how open carry is so bad tactically - you'll be the first one shot, etc. Oh, yeah? White Hat had a HUGE gun in plain sight and he was NOT shot. Who got shot first? An unarmed store owner.

* I am betting that the Black Hat was on drugs, big time. He was hit with THREE 45-CALIBER BULLETS, with at least two of those hits causing grievous injury, and he continued the fight as if he had not even been hit at all! In fact he was strutting like a peacock who owned the place as he was walking up and down the aisles trying to get to a position where he could shoot White Hat. As a gun owner, you need to be prepared for that eventuality and keep shooting the bad guy in his center of mass until he stops his attack. Don't think one shot, or even two shots, are going to do it. And a head shot might well be what it takes to stop such an attack quickly.

* If you are out of ammunition, a gun does make a great weapon with which to bludgeon someone in hand-to-hand combat.

* This shooting bolstered both sides of the argument about how much ammunition one should carry. The good guy got off only four shots (of course his gun had a broken trigger and that didn't help). The bad guy got off six shots and ran out of ammunition (thankfully). But in my mind, and having had some advanced training, I think an extra magazine for a semi-auto, or a reloader for a revolver, is a good idea. With someone like Black Hat above, if you run out of ammunition before he does, he will execute you. Period.

--

This exclusive came to us from Philip Van Cleave who is the president of Virginia Citizens Defense League. http://www.vcdl.org/

PS - the pictures are of Roy Rogers and some random villain found on Google Image search. The two illustrations are meant for allegory only.

Oscar Dittohead

Sing Along with Oscar:
This f*cking country's lost its grip
Subconscious hold begins to slip
The scales of justice tend to tip

The legal system has no spine
It's corroding from inside
Slap your hand you'll do no time

Reality on vacation
All across a blinded nation
Mentality under sedation

Anyone can be set free
On a technicality
Explain the law again to me

Here in 1994
Things are different than before
Violence is what we adore

Invitation to the game
Guns and blades and media fame
Every day more of the same

Murder, mayhem, anarchy
Now are all done legally
Mastermind your killing spree

Unafraid of punishment
With a passive government
There's nothing for you to regret

Nothing to regret

Unimposing policy
No enforcing ministry
Gaping with judicial flaws
Watching a fading nation crawl

Clashing with the public's frame
I'm the one that's place in fame
Legislature sets the stage
Social slaves caught in my rage

Administrative anarchy there's nothing
You can do to me
The world around you drifting to a
Continental tomb you see
Violence is my passion
I will never be contained
Living with aggression and its
Everlasting reign

PS: I always knew Oscar was Metal.

Saturday Morning Cartoons

From 1951, it's another Bugs & Sam classic -- 14 Carrot Rabbit.

Uncle Walter Newsreader Died

This July 1, 1952 file photo provided by CBS shows TV Washington newsman Walter Cronkite. Famed CBS News anchor Walter Cronkite, known as the 'most trusted man in America' died, Friday, July 17, 2009. He was 92.

As anchor and managing editor of the "CBS Evening News" from 1962 to 1981, Cronkite's masterful, disciplined stewardship helped television news come of age. He was arguably the most respected and recognizable media figure of his time.

Okay, so, what's the big deal? He was a news reader. That's right. He simply read the news to a camera. For you youngsters out there, this was the era of not just newspapers, but two editions. One in the morning, and one at night. And some cities had more than three or four papers. No, really.

Also, in the olden-days most events and news items were shot on film. So if there was rioting or a dead body, CBS would have to get a camera guy out to the scene. Shoot a couple shots, then he'd have to race the film back to the office. They'd have to develop the film, edit the film and then finally show the film. It was a laborious, time consuming process. There were extremely strict deadlines. You'd be lucky to get day old news by 11 EST.

What Walter was known for, among other things, was that the concept of the 'anchor chair.' The idea was built around him. He would set up and toss the story to the person in the field covering it. When over, the reporter would toss it back to the studio - it's a concept that's been used ever since the convention of 1959. If you've ever watched a television news cast, you get the concept. Back in the olden-days, the golden age of television - a news cast was someone reading the newspaper into a microphone. Very classy. Boring, even for the radio generation. The anchor - in today's terms - would be the Home Page or the news agitator that you would return to after reading the story you were kind of interested. Like the Reddit or the Fark Main Page. Walter didn't invent it, but it happened around him.

Walter was "the most trusted man in America" for a time. That's scary. However, you must also note that there were only three sources for television news for his entire run. Three. And that's not MSNBC, FOX and The Weather Channel - it was three network news shows. And Walter owned it for two decades straight. Why? Because he had an awesome baritone voice that was easy to listen to. Cronkite had a comforting Midwestern accent and an everyman likability. He came off as everyone's "Uncle Walter," an image he fostered by leaning back in his chair and fiddling with a pipe at the end of nightly broadcasts. When he signed off the news with "And that's the way it is," many Americans believed him.

Some would say that when Cronkite said America couldn't win the war in Vietnam - it was at that point that we lost. Did he have that much pull? Maybe it just took someone like him to finally say what everyone already knew. The difference is, that in the Iraq war, everyone on television was saying that to get the Cronkite vibe - but they all said it three days after the shooting started, and hardly anyone said it BEFORE. Sigh.

Walter sat in his chair like a king, and ran the CBS News as well. He witnessed some amazing things and told America about it... JFK Assassination, Apollo 11, MLK Jr, Vietnam, up to the US-Iranian Hostage crisis. He left the chair at the early years of the Reagan Administration and gave it up to Dan Rather, a biased newsman, who then gave it up for Katie Couric who just reads off the Teleprompter.

Oh, one note, the obituaries that you'll see all day on CBS and probably all the 523 other cable 'news' outlets have had his 'obit package' sitting on a shelf since before he left CBS. They have those things already produced and ready to air for just about every major celebrity. It's awesome creepy.

And that's the way it is.

Minister Builds Dream House Despite Layoffs

It must be rough. Inspiration Networks' CEO David Cerullo is building his $4 million dream home overlooking Lake Keowee. It is settled in a gated lakefront community in western South Carolina.

It's funny that at the same time his ministry has cut jobs, ended 401K for remaining employees and reset the thermostats to save money in their new HQ.

Inspiration Networks took $26 million in incentives from South Carolina to move from Charlotte to Indian Land, S.C., in Lancaster County. The network's revenues are expected to approach $100 million, largely donations from people who are told God favors those who donate.

Cerullo has said 80 cents of each donated dollar is spent to spread the Gospel.

"If they've got these kinds of assets, does the state really need to offer ... tax breaks?" asked Don Weaver, president of the S.C. Association of Taxpayers. IRS rules bar nonprofits from paying "unreasonable compensation" to officials.

Maybe it is time to end tax breaks for any religious group, and ending the non-tax status of religious organizations?

And, it seems that David Cerullo's father, Morris Cerullo, was indicted for tax evasion in California in 2005 - although the charges were dismissed by a Bush-appointed judge on grounds of prosecutorial error - and was sued in 2000 by two former employees who alleged that the elder Cerullo used donations for personal profit.

On that earlier occasion, one of the plaintiff's lawyers explained that "[Morris] Cerullo purports to have first met God at the age of eight. Since then, his life has apparently been one unbelievable experience after another. He says he was led out of a Jewish orphanage by two angelic beings; transported to heaven for a face-to-face meeting with God; has the ability to predict the future; can heal the sick; and has told audiences when they look at him they ‘are looking at God.'"

2 Peter 2:1-3:

1 But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves.

2 And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned;

3 and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.

Road Rage

Dear Cap'n:

I have a bad case of road rage.

It is pretty bad, I probably need help. I get very angered by people driving in front of me. I curse/yell when I drive alone and rant to people who drive with me. I pretty much think that most people on the roads today do not deserve to drive and are clinically retarded. I have actively tried to stop driving as much and I fear that this will be bad for my stress levels / heart in the future.

kgrad5

I have a similar problem - and I have figured out why - and it has helped me....

I realize that some moron who is not paying attention, following the rules, yacking on the phone, applying nail polish, reading a book, all at once - all have more power than I do. That's right. They can take everything I have away from me. Allow me to explain. At any given moment, when they swerve or ram into me they will have - in the best case scenario make me late. Worst case, end my day on a permanent basis. That's not such a good thing. I get upset thinking that this ding dong in curlers can kill me.

I guess what gets me so upset is the carelessness at 45-90 miles an hour. I know how quickly FUBAR happens, and these other idiots who DON'T understand that principle. I've seen death and brains on the concrete. It's not fun. I'd rather not see it again. Especially my loved ones or my own before the lights go out.

Knowing that those other drivers are the idiots, and to be defensive helps. I assume that Murphy (who was a safety engineer) was right - if it's going to go wrong, it will. If you keep yourself busy anticipating bad moves, that you won't have time to be angry. You'll come up with some good ones. You'll be happy when it doesn't go the way you thought, and you'll laugh that you were right. Example: There's no way that lady is going to light that cigarette while on the phone at this speed! Holy spit! She did it. Ah, but she only swerved two lanes instead three... well, there's always this guy passing me on the right. Maybe he'll hit her...

Hope that helped

[Hey, when did I become an advice guy?]

Sears now called Big Willy

The Sears Tower, one of the world's iconic skyscrapers and the tallest building in the U.S., was renamed the Willis Tower on Thursday in a downtown ceremony. I only wish I knew what the hell they were talking about.

I propose to the folks who can't get over the name change - and will continue to call it "da Sears" - I propose that you call it "Big Willy."

Maybe the city of Big Shoulders can also be known for it's enormous wang - er - willy. Big Willy!

Birther Rebuffs Army and Bama

The Army has revoked the Afghanistan deployment orders for Army reservist Maj. Stefan Frederick Cook, the plaintiff in a lawsuit arguing that President Obama has no authority to send him to war because, he believes, Obama is not a “natural-born citizen” and thus not eligible to be president. Cook’s lawyer, leading “birther” Orly Taitz, said the Army’s move is proof that Obama was not born in Hawaii. Whoa. Really?

If the military isn’t backing Obama’s legitimacy as commander-in-chief, then all the sudden this is a real issue, right? If Obama wants to quash this growing controversy, all he has to do is release his “true ‘long-form’ birth certificate,” as Cook requested. Against all possible logic, Cook has a point... It would be illegal for him to follow an 'illegitimate' president’s orders.

However, since it is a "volunteer" army - and Stefan volunteered - he's likely AWOL now. But why would anyone want to pursue this in a court martial? the Army probably just doesn't want to deal with the politics of the "birther" crowd, or worse. It doesn't make Obama look clean to let Stefan out... but doesn't want to keep this thing in the news or talk about it. And if he does, then it's to make the right wing look even more desperate and nutty than usual.

Or, perhaps Stefan has found the solution to the age old Army problem of the Catch 22? The solution? He turned it around on his superiors.

Sotomayor is Wrong

Sotomayor is biased - and I for one am not going to bring up her 'wise latina' comment.

No, lets talk about guns, shall we?

Gun owners are scared silly over her obvious checker flag nomination and her obvious placement on the court. In the odd chance you're watching this silly Congressional hearing, Judge Sotomayor belted out perfectly scripted responses to the Democrat questions, and rehearsed, but no where near as polished answers to the Republicans. Of course, there was no answer on abortion. That issue was dodged. But she was also evasive on the question of whether the Second Amendment guarantees a fundamental right. In fact, her previous decision in United States v. Sanchez-Villar held that it was not.

Worst, in Maloney v. Cuomo, which reviewed whether owning a weapon is freedom applies to all law-abiding Americans or only to residents of Washington, D.C. If it's incorporated, the Second Amendment prevents the states from disarming honest Americans. If it's not, the Second Amendment is meaningless outside of our nation's capital.

Judge Sotomayor was on the Second Circuit panel that decided the Maloney case in a short, unsigned, and clearly incorrect opinion. The fact that the Maloney panel misread precedent in order to avoid doing the Fourteenth Amendment "incorporation" analysis required by the Supreme Court is troubling to the gun owners of America, to say the least.

Equally troubling is the fact that Judge Sotomayor said she wasn't even familiar with the Supreme Court's modern incorporation cases. There are few issues more important for a judge to understand than whether the fundamental guarantees in the Bill of Rights apply to all Americans. And before you get all huffy, the First Amendment right to free speech applies to all Americans. Our Fourth Amendment protection from illegal search and seizure applies to all Americans. It's hard to believe that a potential Supreme Court justice wouldn't be familiar with those cases? Right? You can't pick and choose which rights given to the people are 'good' or 'bad' - only if the laws have infringed upon those rights.

Despite that judicial amnesia, Judge Sotomayor co-authored an opinion -- in January of this year -- holding that the Second Amendment does not apply to the States. So that leaves two options: either she failed to follow the Supreme Court's direction in Heller that judges are required to analyze the modern incorporation cases; or she actually did review those cases, but came to an incorrect conclusion. Neither option gives gun owners much confidence in her view of the Second Amendment.

And gives me zero confidence that she's qualified for the job.

But she sure has a lot of empathy.

Canadian Food

Neat visuals

Good Ad

Local News Sucks

Sheeple

Texting Teen Falls Down Manhole

It's tough to be a teenager these days.

Alexa Longueira, 15 was walking and texting when she fell into an uncovered sewer manhole while sending a message.

Of course, the family of intends to sue.

The girl suffered a fright and some scrapes on her arms back after she dropped into the hole on Victory Boulevard.

"It was four or five feet, it was very painful. I kind of crawled out and the DEP guys came running and helped me," Longueria told the Staten Island Advance.. "They were just, like, 'I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

For its part, the Department of Environmental Protection said its workers had turned away briefly to grab some cones when the incident occurred. One can imagine their idea of what 'briefly' is?

"We regret that this happened and wish the young woman a speedy recovery," DEP spokeswoman Mercedes Padilla said in a statement. She added that crews were flushing a high-pressure sewer line at the time.

Sewer line workers are supposed to cut off pedestrian access to work sites or at least mark them with warning signs.

The family said they will file a lawsuit -- for what, though, is not immediately clear. Her mother, Kim Longueira, said it doesn't matter that her daughter was walking and texting, and also, the 'gross' factor that can't be ignored.

"Oh my God, it was putrid," she said. "One of her sneakers is still down there."

Alexa suffered some cuts and scrapes but is otherwise OK.

It is not known if the girl's original text went through, or if she texted while she was in the hole.