A Special Halloween Treat

Happy Halloween From Michael McDonald

Michael McDonald is back to trick it to the treats!

Zombies on Wall Street

20 Costumes Asking for a Beatdown

Here are 20 examples of costumes --good for inspiring a healthy mixture of douche-chills and rage. If you're wearing one of these, consider yourself warned: those guys aren't getting up from the bar to come over and shake your hand. They're coming over to kick your ass.

# 20 Spongebob Adult Man's Costume

Aside from the "Would you like to buy some Bibles?" look on the model's face, it's the white leotards that seal the wearer's fate. Or possibly the little red dick-tie.

#19. ATM Man

If you want to look like a Muslim Darth Vader, this costume is for you. Despite the claims in the picture, don't be surprised if women dressed like money do not approach you to withdraw cash from your wiener.

#18. Breathalyzer

The early model Terminators were easily identifiable, since Skynet's files on what penises really look like were badly damaged in the initial attack.

#17. Cain The Vampire Tyrant

Oh sh*t! It's Cain! Cain the Vampire Tyrant! And he's been playing the Nintendo with his power Glove!

#16. Lock and Key

This dude finally gets a modeling gig that has nothing to do with his biceps or his dreadlocks, so he improvises. The woman is sad because she knows the inevitable attempt to "unlock" here will cause her entrails to go flying out of her lower back, a gruesome and undignified death via impalement on a wacky costume.

#15. Fork and Spoon

This lacks the sexual connotations of the lock and key outfit above, but we can't figure out if that makes the costume more sad or less. At least aliens won't be able to read their thoughts.

#14. Hung

Oh, we get it. "Hung" as in hung like a horse. Like, you have a big schlong. And you convey this by... attaching a stuffed horse's head to your groin? With a hangman's noose? This costume's designer has many a dead hooker in his basement.

#13. Napoleon Dynamite

We can think of two people off the top of our heads who haven't seen this movie: the guy who designed this costume and the guy wearing it.

#12. I've Got a Heart On

We know. We can see it. And the children can see it. Warning: This costume is illegal in 48 states.

#11. Wiseman

Just because he is wearing a hat and carrying frankincense does not mean this is not a Geisha Girl costume.

#10. Super Jew

Whether the kid is Jewish or not, we're pretty sure this costume qualifies as some kind of hate crime.

#9. Baby and Mommy

If you think it looks bad now, every time he walks, it looks like an 8 year old in diapers humping a babushka wearing basketball shoes. Creepy.

#8. The Munchkin

Okay, that's fugging terrifying. Is that a wig or not? Forget it, we don't want to look at it any more. We're going to wake up some night and see this bastard staring down at us, orange cheeks and all.

#7. God's Gift to Women

"From: God, To: Women?" Well, they are going to be disappointed when they open it up and see that it's just the rest of this guy.

#6. Bacon and Eggs

The good news for him is that next year when they get divorced, he can just buy a sombrero and he's got a Mexican stereotype costume. She's stuck going as an amoeba.

#5. Taz

If you take off the Taz mask, you've got a pretty terrifying childbirth costume here. Complete with dentata!

#4. One Night Stand

Yes, he's dressed as a one-night stand. GET IT? These "abstract idea costumes" actually wind up being some of the most disturbing. Such as...

#3. The Sh*t Hit the Fan

If you don't have this jackass to explain the joke, this looks more like maggots crawling out of a drain. Which actually makes one of the most awesome and disturbing Halloween costumes we've ever seen. Congratulations on the accidental horror, guys.

#2. Goth Milk

There is no place on earth where this costume won't get you a vicious beating. You wouldn't even make it out of Quaker country in this thing. Goths, puns, suggested genital piercings on a child... it's like they distilled everything a good man finds offensive and expressed it in shitty costume form.

#1. Slave Leia

My goodness what a lame costume. You really should just take it off right now....

this article was cutn'pasted from Cracked. Trick over Treat, suckas.

Best Treats

Remember that one year? That one awesome year?

We all know that most Halloween candy is made up of small versions of traditional candy bars—the 2 1/2-inch ones—or the minis, which are just an inch. This is called a "fun size" by the candy companies. An adequate taste, but nothing more. But that one time, when you were out walking on Halloween night, you saw a few kids run past you to a house up ahead. Then a few more. And then you ran, because you knew—you knew—that there is great sh*t being given out at that house. Some old upper-middle-class couple with no kids and no real concept of Halloween... They were handing out full-sized candy bars.

This was like winning the Halloween lottery. You grabed one, and ran off to a few more houses, then ran back. You tried to figure out a way to make your costume look different—maybe you switched masks with your buddy. The couple looked confused, but didn't ask why Dracula was wearing a Batman mask, because they weren't sure if it was a new show they haven't heard of, and you grabbed another whole candy bar. Ten minutes later, and you were back, waiting in line with countless other kids who figured out the gold rush was here. The couple told you that this is the last one, and you mumbled agreement as you grabbed it.

It is indeed was the last one, because these people ran out of all of their candy in 30 minutes. They never repeated their mistake ever again. and you probably disturbed them greatly, by revealing that greed is endemic to humanity, even at its most innocent.

But you had three whole candy bars!

Star Wars Porn

Star Wars Porn?
Will Zach and Miri Make A Porno's "Star Whores" spoof skin-flick stand up against actual Star Wars porn? We've collected the best Star Wars porn from artistic porn site Cathouse and compared it with a few shots from the new Rogen comedy. On one hand, you've got Elizabeth Banks as Princess Leia, a dianoga dildo and little tubby Rogen running around with a blaster strapped to his exposed thigh in Solo's duds. But Miravi from Cathouse is a genius, as the artist manages to disrobe a young Aunt Beru and get her and Padme together. It's NSFW in any capacity. (More »)
Not safe for work.

Probably not safe for your house either...

Simpsons Mad Men gag

White Flour

In response to the second foiled skinhead plot to assassinate Obama... (Two idiots with guns, no possible chance of success) ((link)) ....here are some pictures to laugh it off with.



Photo from a MySpace webpage shows Daniel Cowart, 20 of Bells, Tenn. holding a weapon... oh wait, that one is real... hold on a tick - is that LIPSTICK, Daniel?

Kevin Smith Uses the R Word

When I first read that he used the "R" word to discuss the new Star Trek movie, I thought for sure he was going to say "Retarded". Alas, no...

Kevin Smith, the only guy in Hollywood who's actually seen Star Trek more than once, called the movie a "reboot." He could just be referring to the fact that the original characters are played by new actors — or he could be dropping a bombshell about how the film resets Trek continuity. Or he could just be throwing terminology around. [Sci Fi Wire]

Then I read this:

Chris Pine describes his own performance as Captain Kirk: "I got to do everything: yell, shout, cry, laugh, take charge and be vulnerable." So now you know, Kirk cries in the new movie. [First Showing]

Uh, look, if Cap'n Kirk fuggin CRIES -- yeah, that's retarded.

Royals

click on picture to see it bigger...

Captions are up to you.

Attention Partygoers

Cut n' paste this warning on the venue of your choice to prevent that event from becoming lame.


Download the PDF here.

Picture Time!

This photo from Newsweek shows Sarah Palin on the campaign trail. She's wearing the latest in fashion, a scarf with the word “Vote”.... notice anything, irregular about her scarf?

(scroll down for the answer)

I wonder, if it's part of the clothing that the McCain campaign paid $150,000? I guess I'd be a little upset about it too if a campaign donation was used to have the VeeP wearing a damn Democratic Party donkey on it!!!

Oops.

Thin Mints

A Nun Hails a Cab

I got this from a reader... and I'll post anything.

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome
cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to
offend you.'

She answers,

'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old
as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a
chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure
that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would
find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and #2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says, 'Yes, I'm single
and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.?

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a
hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab
driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says, 'That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'

World of Dorkcraft: The Movie

Unfortunately, that Max Payne movie made some money over the weekend - maybe because people didn't know that it was based on a video game? The game itself is pretty old. It was out around Grand Theft Auto III was released for the Playstation II.

Because of Marky Mark's success in beating the Beverly Hill's Chiwawa - suddenly the suits in Hollywood are looking at other video games to turn into movies. Roh, roh. Yep, now they're looking at World of Warcraft.

And on top of that poop sundae - they've got Sam Raimi to direct the thing.

Look, I love Sam Raimi - or rather I love the OLD Sam Raimi. The guy who did the Evil Dead series. Those are awesome in their SamRaiminess. Mostly because he didn't have Spiderman money.

But there are some obvious flaws in making a movie based on MMORPG WoW...

1) Your fan base is predestined to stay in the basement on a quest, a raid or a, well, not going outside... that's for sure.

2) If you thought Lord of the Rings the fan base were nit-picking hawks that took great pains to point out every single inconsistency with the Tolkien material, well, you ain't seen nothin' yet. If there's a character or a pixel out of place - OMG Can u believe that the Dungeon of Morfin was... whatever, (it was wrong or cut, or the wrong color). These are the folks who refuse to "accept the movies because Tom Bombadil should have been included." Hey, if you're a super nerd and don't like Peter Jackson's LOTR's, then you really need to stand out side and look at that nuclear fireball in the sky instead of simulating it with your overclocked specialized video card, okay?

3) For whom are you making this film? Players or Non Players? The people who play it won't see it because they're too busy playing it. But let's pretend they do go, there's only a million or so people installed. 1 million times ten bucks for the ticket = that's only 10 million dollars (check my math... yeah, looks right). This is not the money making machine that was Lord of the Rings. WoW is a video game knock off of Dungeons and Dragons - which was a nerdy pencil spreadsheet and dice game knock off of Lord of the Rings to begin with. This thing is diluted to the point that Asteroids the Video Game movie makes more financial sense than WoW. I would have said Super Mario Brothers... but they already did that...

4) Video game movies SUCK ASS! I don't care if you've got James Cameron directing it... video games do not translate onto the screen well. Video games are not passive. Movies and television are. And movies into video games almost always SUCK ASS too, it's part of the equation. ET anyone? The stories of video games are almost always over the top, unrealistic or super cliched - but that's the medium! And how would Raimi show the action? Live action on greenscreen - like Spiderman? Or just film himself fighting some battles straight out of the computer? Sounds exciting doesn't it? Why not just go over to someone's house who has the game and just watch that instead? It'll be about the same experience.

5) And if you're not making it for the folks who play, there's 290 million people who don't - is this just a very expensive marketing gimmick? Oh....

The Case of President McCain

McCain could win it by a slim margin.

Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby Poll: Obama 47.8%, McCain 45.1%

I've read a scenario where the House will have to select the President - and the House will elect Obama - but in the Senate, Joe Lieberman (reminder he's the "Independent" from Connecticut) would cast the tie breaking vote for Vice President, and then you'd have Sarah Palin as the VeeP.

What I like about that story is that it's got a Nightmare outcome for both sides of this election. When everybody is miserable is when I'm the happiest.

But there's still that game board from 2004. Not a lot has changed since then. Maybe Colorado? But your 'bitter gun clingers' and fundies out there coming out to McCain and Palin rallies. Oh, you haven't heard of that? I can't believe you haven't heard how close the race still is? Sarah Palin's awkward, white-girl-at-nightclub dancing stint on SNL gave that lame ass show it's highest rating in 14 years. (link to data)

The margin of error in the polls, plus the Bradley effect (6 points off for African candidates in polls if there's a live person asking) give McCain a pubic hair of a chance in this thing. Young folks don't vote - but Nursing homes do. And they'd be electing one of their own.

And all this in spite of McCain running one of the worst political campaigns since... uh, maybe Al Gore? Bob Dole? One of the four guys who ran against FDR, right? I'll just pick one... Wendell Willkie. (Perhaps McCain voted for him?)

So why, how, could McCain possibly on win? Because when those churches, grade school cafeterias and libraries open their doors, the bitter clingers will show up, the old folks will show up, the folks who tuned in to see Gov. Palin's SNL what-have-you will show up. One of ten women who supported Hillary because she isn't a penis-American will show up. They're also going to know how to punch a chad through all the way through a ballot, unlike the folks in Miami Dade County. These folks are registered and have voted before. They know where their polling place is. They don't ask questions holding up the line.

Why are they voting McCain?

Not exactly "for" McCain - He's just the anti-Obama vote. Just like John Kerry was the anti-Bush vote. But Kerry only had one issue. It came down to the war in '04. Now it's a whole can of garbage with a race card on the bottom of the pile.

But why McCain? The McCain voter is taking a measured look at the policy differences between the two candidates. Obama's voting records show he is for abortion, John McCain is not . This issue still means a lot to a large number of people. There are a lot of people who are voting on one issue only. And this still seems to be a pretty big one. Gun control is another. Drilling for oil in Alaska seems to have energized a few people here and there.

A large number of McCain voters believe that the United States needs to finish the wars that were started in Iraq and Afghanistan. They also think that the US needs to show Russia, China and Iran that we've got a new crazy old man in charge who's even more unstable than the cowboy before him. It's foreign policy like that what won the Cold War. If you focus on the 10-point lead McCain has on national security and terrorism -- it is the only remaining issue all voters believe the Republican candidate would be more adept at handling.

Some people are voting for McCain's promise to make the Bush Tax Cuts permanent. Joe the Plumber, for instance?

They won't be picking McCain to save the economy - which is what took the wind out of his sails in the first place. However, they might be picking McCain to keep a free market system? Maybe they're the folks who read all of Atlas Shrugged? All five of them?

Maybe it'll be the large number of people who fear Change. These are the kind of people who lose their car keys... or can't remember that their favorite TV show moved to Tuesday nights, five years ago.

Some people will be voting for a Democrat to serve them in the Congress - but they'll pick the Republican (no matter what) to offer a 'balance' in their votes. This actually happens! It's a sort of balanced scorecard philosophy. More like Damned if you Do, Damned if you Don't, if you ask me.

The McCain Administration.

How does he do it? I don't know, let's say McCain shows up with Bin Laden's head on a stake at a press conference or something? There will be an awkward hand-off of the White House keys from W. Bush to McCain that'll make the Bush I hand-off to Bill Clinton look down right civil.

Immediately the lack of McCain's ability to lead will slam into the almost veto proof Congress. He'll still have some old friends there, but since he hasn't been helpful for Republican candidates - and neither has lame duck George Bush - his party won't be able to negotiate or have any pull at all. Plus his old "friends" will come in with a huge chip on their shoulders about Obama losing. And they'll be out to stop McCain's Administration and exact revenge through him.

If Obama were to lose by the Electoral College - look for the Congress start exploring the idea of Amending the Constitution. Nothing will actually get done, but it'll play great with the home crowds, especially if there's a lopsided popular vote victory for Obama.

Gridlock. Complete, total Friday Afternoon, Accident with Gaper's Delay...
Gridlock in D.C.

Meanwhile anything and everything McCain said he'd do with the legislature is either in jeopardy or D.O.A. Anything he says will be shut down - any Supreme Court nominees are instantly rejected before or during the hearings. Since he can't move his arms, he won't be able to take up golf. I have a feeling he'll be flying on Air Force One a lot, brooding while traveling to foreign countries.

The economy will sputter and start, and it'll be a lot like what's going on now - tons of uncertainty and a lot of roller coaster starts and slowdowns. Both teams wave fingers. No accountability for any of it.

The word 'Palin' will become a verb for what people with Blackberries do when they're constantly waiting and checking to see if an important message has shown up.

The Case of President Obama

Obama has made a case for Change.

But there are no details of that 'Change'.

Is he simply talking about the skin tone of the man in the White House? Is he talking about bringing Change as someone out of the 'elite class' from Yale or Harvard? (He attended Harvard, just for the record). Is he talking about being out of the 'typical Washington' or a Change away from the normal massive political systems? Sadly, he's a Senator and from the Chicago Political Machine... and his running mate has a decade on his opponent - so there's no 'Change' from those two perspectives. It originally seemed a logical divergence from his primary opponent, Hillary Clinton. That's the only time 'Change' meant anything. But it stopped being about Hillary back in late July.

No, the case that Obama brings as Change is the call for Socialism.

Obama's opponents have called him a 'historic' figure. They say he's the most inexperienced and most liberal candidate that the Democrats have ever put on their ticket.

Yes. Exactly.

The last eight years have seen Enron, 9/11, two on-going expensive foreign wars, fuel and food prices rising, home values declining, and now an economic collapse caused by a shell game with nothing under the shells. It appears - and that's appears - that the free market is fatally flawed, and it's time for something - anything - new. Here comes Change.

The assumption is that the free market has failed. Chris Rock said it best, "George Bush has f*cked things up so bad, that he's made it hard for a White Man to run for President." The Change has already begun too. The rejection of free market philosophy on a high governmental level with the bail outs of banks and insurance industries. The Nationalization of those companies in trouble has swung open that door of 'Change'. A complete reworking of society and government has started. Which is, what I assume, the message of Change is.

Folks in America are preparing to allow or are already willing to let their government tell them the right way to live, work and take care of themselves. Apparently it's no longer safe for us to do it on our own. You and I have messed it up pretty bad. The 'self' is no longer as important as the 'group', and with a group mentality you find a different philosophy to govern. "I mean, come on - look at what a great job we've done so far!?" is the prevailing wind swirling around.

That's why the story of Joe the Plumber is important. (Transcript) It highlights the theme of the Change philosophy. The collective "We" know how to "spread the wealth around" better than you do, Joe. We know how to teach your kid his book learning. We know how to take care of your retirement funds. We know how to give you medicine. We know how to get you to work, and take care of you when you're not qualified. We'll get you a house, and some food to eat. Don't worry about it. Just get fat, and make sure you keep voting for us.

The "We" is the Department of Education, Social Security, Medicare, Employment, HUD, Food Stamps, Welfare... and pretty much all of FDR's New Deal, and LBJ's Great Society that I might not have pinpointed. It isn't important if any of these programs are successful, or have any measurable benchmarks worth mentioning. It's more important that they MEAN well. And it's always better to expand on them if they aren't successful, because obviously IF they're ineffectual it can only be because they're just not funded enough. There must not be enough enough administrators or middle managers.... we need more, so be sure to offer giant pay raises with no provisions other than longevity. And be sure to offer huge fat pensions, too.

You can hear this philosophy in Obama's campaign stump speeches.
He talks gloriously about giving tax breaks. But WHO is he giving tax breaks to?

“I think it’s time to give a tax cut to the teachers and the janitors who work in our schools; to the cops and firefighters who keep us safe; to the waitresses working double shifts, the nurses in the ER, and yes the plumbers fighting for their American Dream. These workers are the backbone of our country. They’re the ones that Washington has forgotten. They’re the ones I’ll fight for,”

Allow me a second to check my scorecard, but aren't most of these folks Federal or State employees already? Is he planning to nationalize the hospitals and restaurants too? No, not the restaurants. Or the Plumber's Union.

President Obama's America?

If the people believe that the country really is hosed, and that it's time to try something else - i.e. that the People have accepted Change. What are we going to get? We're going to get Chicago. Probably not the Change you were looking for. Sorry.

Obama's America is going to take Chicago's bloated, over funded, corruption and cronie run city hall and county government to a National level. Expect skyrocketing taxes - sales and income taxes, and an end of the Bush Tax cut that encourages companies to buy more stuff so they can write it off. Also expect tons and tons of Nanny State styled legislation - which limit freedoms - simply because you and your poor choices aren't as important as 'protecting the children.' Look to all those wonderful Chicago bans for some examples: Smoking bans, gun-bans, bans on certain breeds of dogs, cell phone bans, texting bans, bans on foie Gras, bans on dice games, bans on pet pigeons, bans on bans. That's only the first couple that rolled out of my head.

Then there are the ever increasing fees and sales taxes. Just like Chicago, businesses will be fleeing and firing in the wake of Change. As a result National unemployment will skyrocket just like Chicago's. As a result there will be a dramatic increase in the crime rate. If we're lucky, the Nation will only look like Chicago, and not downtown Detroit. Don't worry, the accountability will conveniently be passed back to George Bush. The Obama Administration has the potential to become a haven of corruption and cronieism not seen since the Grant Administration. And this has nothing to do with Obama himself - it's just the way Chicago governs.

And what will be done about it? The hearings and the constant watchful checks and balances of The House and Senate? You're kidding, right? It'll be packed with like minded folks lining their pockets with an endless supply of hard working people's tax dollars... just more than usual. That's if anybody who pays those taxes will still be working. The push to Nationalize medicine and steal that one Hillary Clinton 'comeback' platform will be on. Never mind it won't work - look at Hawaii's success with that. Remember, it's only about good intentions - not success or failure.

But who cares? If they don't get enough cash they'll just keep raising taxes. This philosophy works pretty well for Mayor Daley! (And a side note, if there isn't a Daley brother in President Obama's cabinet I'll be VERY surprised.) What is the recourse? All they have to do is say, "what're you going to do? Elect a Republican?! Shame on you for even suggesting that idea. They messed things up so bad that we came in as your Savior, remember?"

So if America's ready for Change - in the repackaged message - then they will have it.

Yes, that's the Change you can believe in....

ObamaMan

Okay, if Penguin is McCain... here you go then.

Thanks J from Chi for sending this our way!

Debate Highlights

Uh, that's a little too close for comfort.

World of Dorkcraft

Think that one buddy of yours plays a bit too much World of Warcraft?

Compared to "Prepared," he doesn't.

In a case of game addiction gone officially off into "what's a boobie?, Why is there a fireball in the sky?", gaming blog Joystiq reports on what is surely the biggest Warcraft fan of them all. Known only under the moniker "Prepared," the gamer plays a stunning 36 World of Warcraft accounts on 11 different computers...simultaneously.

Stemming from a desire to manage raids -- large-scale gameplay sessions that typically require the teamwork of multiple players -- all by himself, the die-hard gamer seems undaunted by both the financial and lifestyle commitments... Jebus! Look at the pictures of his mommy's basement. Hope his mom isn't expecting to get any grandkids - like - ever.

SEE PICS OF HIS SETUP WATCH WRATH OF THE LICH KING TRAILER

"It costs me exactly $5711 in subscription costs per year with 36 accounts on the 6 month pay schedule," he writes. "Not bad considering I'm looking at it like it's a hobby and there are more expensive hobbies out there than World of Warcraft."

And despite the downturn in the economy, Prepared can't wait to get his hands on the upcoming Warcraft expansion, Wrath of the Lich King.

"I plan to be at the store when it opens and will purchase 36 copies of it. With tax, it should be about $1500 for all of them."

Jebus... You know, drinking beer is a hobby. So is, like, talking to girls. I can imagine the beer I could buy with 5700. Hell, I could even buy my couch... I doubt that 5700 covers his electrical bills. Let's say that's another 100 bucks a month? Maybe more? God, think of all the hookers and blow you could buy with 6 grand, plus the other 1500 for the 36 expansion sets?

Boggles the mind.

Ultra Douche

Wal-Mart is selling Ultra Douche.

A silly mistake on their web site, or best truth in advertising ever? Perhaps the best Halloween costume ever offered?

Yes I agree that this young man is an Douche. But what constitutes "Ultra Douche"?

He has a vintage looking baseball cap on. His hat is on facing forward, not backward. Note that he's wearing a cap. Not a visor. Suggested visor isn't upside down, backwards, and turned inside out... which would suggest 'Ultra' to me.

Camo shorts with little, I don't know - string? Sock holders? What's that sh*t hanging from his pants? Yes, Douche-y. But it's not torn... still wondering about the 'Ultra' here.

Does he have a cruddy Abercrombie-American Eagle-Urban Outfitters polo shirt? Flip flops? And how about a smug, self-satisfied, entitled attitude? You betcha to all those checkpoints. He even looks a little like Jerry O'Connel - the fat kid from Stand By Me who grew up to bang Rebecca Romijn-Stamos.

No, the thing I think we're missing here is a scalped ticket stub to the Wrigley Field bleacher section in his pocket. Then I think this guy would be an 'Ultra Douche.'

3 Weeks Out

Obama‘s lead in national polls of the popular vote has expanded to an average of 7.2 points.

(can't read it? Click on it! It'll get more bigger for yous)

Not only are the traditional swing states like Florida and Ohio long since gone to the Democrats, but also the latest poll results put such stalwart Republican states as Alabama, Texas, South Dakota, Indiana, Kentucky, Mississippi, and Montana within reach of Democrats. Although these red states all still lean toward McCain, it is getting too close for comfort for him.

In the meantime, Republican bastions like South Carolina, Georgia, and Louisiana are now no better than tossups.

If the election took place this week, it would be a wipeout of major proportions. Even McCain‘s home state of Arizona has to be classified as leaning toward Obama. McCain, as of now, can be certain of carrying just eight states with a combined total of only 36 electoral votes.

But the campaign has three weeks to run. If the financial crisis begins to settle down, and voters can take a good look at the man they are about to elect president, there is still time and a real chance for a major swing back to McCain. It looks like the campaign 2008 roller coaster still has several more turns to make, before the historic ride is over.

Obama Supporters

I haven't listened to Howard in a long time... but good old Howie has taken the time to expose a dirty little secret about why so many folks are supporting Barack Obama (hint -- it has NOTHING to do with his policy positions!)



Now, this seems to be a better example of 'push polling' or technique in which an individual or organization attempts to influence or alter the view of respondents under the guise of conducting a poll. In a push poll, large numbers of respondents are contacted, and little or no effort is made to collect and analyze response data.

Or, the other side of that coin... folks are just stupid and completely unaware of the issues.

Bears and Couches

So I watched, fell asleep, then woke up in time to watch the Chicago Bears FAIL in spectacular fashion.

Like Wanstach before him, Louvie and the boys in the booth are showing spectacular fail just within inches and more importantly SECONDS before victory.

The Bears didn't fall asleep - as Louvie has repeated again and again to the Chicago Sports Media - Louvie is terrible at clock management. End of discussion.

This one event has pissed me off all day yesterday, and into today.
Maybe it's because we're shopping for couches too. Yeah, that probably has something to do with it.

My wife found a great one yesterday. Part of the John Elway collection...
Old No. 7 used to have a cannon for a right arm, but can he inspire me to buy a cushy recliner? The Elway Home Collection is the kind of couch where you just melt into the damn thing. I have learned that these couches are in the ESPN Zone, in each restaurant's screening room.

The funny part is - she fell in love with it. I was a little hesitant. It's leather - which is awesome, looks and smells like a football, but the price tag is -- hell, I think I could buy a couple houses with that down payment!

Also, and this is the part that hurts so much, the ottoman - foot rest part - is not part of the ginormous price tag. Those are sold separately. That pisses me off. Same with those pillows in the picture. Plus, this thing is so freaking huge, I do not think it will fit through my door. Really, it's super huge and bends at the center. Not likely that's getting in any of my doorways.

So, now I have more couch shopping to do. Which does not thrill me at all.

Sat Caption Contest

What is Henry Paulson whispering to Ben Bernanke?
That's the last time I trust a Nigerian.

Nosedive

Dow Jones, now stopping at gate 11,000 ..... 10,000 ..... 9,000 ...... 8,000...
Investors fret that even low interest rates won't unfreeze credit

Is there anyone here who can fly an economy... and didn't have the fish?

Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking...

Nikkei drops 11 percent. London, Paris and Frankfurt each down 10 percent after opening. Fund manager says, "We have reached the panic stage." Good morning.

Henry Paulson says not to be surprised when even more banks fail. I damn you, Henry. I hate it when you don't post a spoiler warning.

The UK has 'frozen' Iceland's assets - gives it a negative rating on eBay... Reykjavik refuses to honor British billions in its failed banks

On the plus side, THERE'S a SALE at PENNEYS!

Here's more pictures of people having very, very bad days via: All images from Sad Guys On Trading Floors, and there are lots more on that site. And Men.style.com has a gallery too.