The People's Republic of Illinois

Urkel be Raisin' my taxes... Again!
1 Billion dollars in new taxes if you live in Chicago.





Todd "Tax Man, Fortunate Son, King Todd, King George, Eatin' yr Fud', Urkel" Stroger announced an 'ambitious' $888M Plan.

Urkel is going to triple the sales tax and double the gas and parking taxes to pay for 1,130 new county jobs and cover rising costs... don't worry, those new jobs will be fully pensioned and the best benefits your patronage can buy.

The taxes are part of a $3.2 billion budget Urkel unveiled Wednesday, including a 2 percentage point hike in the sales tax that would bring Chicago to a combined rate of 11 percent—never mind that the exact same proposal was rejected by the County Board two weeks ago. Taken together, by 2009 the proposed tax increases would generate $888 million. Even though it still falls short of their projected budget. Of course, without cutting the fat, the cronies, even pretending to give a rip about the people. They haven't even balanced the checkbook yet.

Urkel also proposed Wednesday a 2.8 percent increase of the property tax levy to fund the highly corrupt, backward managed, always in debt Forest Preserve District. The Forest Preserve meetings used to be held before the County Board meetings, but because they were televised, and took over three hours to cover all the corruption, they simply moved the meetings. Now Board Meetings are about 20 minutes. Problem solved!

What's the best part? It comes right on the heels of King Daley II's proclamation of the Corruption tax that raises fees, property tax, gas and sales tax. (See Below) And let's not forget that 10 cent water bottle tax for the Yuppies. Yeah, they're going through with that.

On top of the State raising my taxes, but hiding it by celebrating they've put a cap on my property tax to only 7% - and only for 3 years! They're also got their eye on the sales tax and income taxes too.

It's a perfect storm of tax!
State, County, City oh my!

And still there is no funding earmarked for the CTA, METRA or PACE. (Illinois Public Transit groups for those of you lucky not to be living here) Now since the group running the mass transit are patronage knuckleheads that have been given those jobs they have no flipping idea how to manage anything... naturally they're screaming that they'll just shut it down if they don't get their funds from the State.

Which, of course, only pisses off the working people of the city who actually use the damned thing. When it runs. Blue line is so slow now because of disrepair I don't know anyone who depends on it anymore. Even the most ardent supporters of mass transit refuse to sit on the urine train for an hour plus ride downtown.

Solutions?
Probably none. There's slim to zero chance that there will be a revolt at the polls.
And what are you going to do, vote the Democrats out? HAHAHAHhha..... oh, you don't get it? Perhaps you've never heard of THE PEOPLE'S REPUBLIC OF ILLINOIS?
There were some Republicans here, a long, long time ago. I think we've got a couple famous ones. Abraham Lincoln, U.S. Grant, Ronald Reagan. You might note that most of these guys did their best work out of state.

We've had a couple other Republicans, but they're harder and harder to find around here. What's worse, is that the ones that stick around make these other idiots look good.

So let's just imagine you could vote for alternative Democrat, or something?
You'd have to start with Daley. Uh, unless you've never heard of Chicago - that's just not going to happen.

Then you'd have to move on to the entire Cook County Board - starting with Todd Urkel Stroger and all the other high priests of the Cook County Temple Board.

Then you've got to get Speaker Madigan and Governor Blagojevich (pronounced Bag-o-shhh*t, again for you outatowners) out the State House.

CITY
Daley. The Machine. The Pharaoh. King Daley II.
Read Mike Royko's book The Boss. That's about his pop. It'll only take one long EL ride and you'll start to understand how "Chicago Works." Let's boil it down. People don't complain about the corruption since the garbage is picked up. That's the Chicago way of governing.
The only way a mayor gets voted out around here is if you f*ck around during a snowstorm and don't plow the streets, ask Bilandic. The last Republican to sit in the Mayor's seat? That would be Al Capone's stooge William Hale Thompson... in 1931.

COUNTY
Todd Urkel Stoger. Now here's a poor man's Oedipus. Except that his mother is the Cook County Board? I don't know - I'm not that smart. Again, let me boil down a whole lot of history from the last two years. His dad, John Stoger had been Cook County Board of Commissioners president since 1994. One week before the primary in 2006, dad had a stroke. But, since Todd wanted to keep his father's 'privacy', he failed to disclose that his dad was kind of in a Castro-like coma. He won. While in a stroked out. In a coma. Probably dead (unconfirmed since no one has seen him since).

Todd kind of tap danced about his dad's condition, pretty much trying to figure out how to play it. Would his dad come back to his post? Is he well enough to be a candidate? "Ah, surrrrreee..."

Then Alderman William Beavers mysteriously produced a letter of John Stroger's resignation, which was unsigned. It was a ploy to prevent an interim president to take over the empty board seat. Then, 5 days later, after the media went ape sh*t, Todd came out with a scribble that he swore was his dad's signature.

At the same time John Stroger submitted his resignation, it was announced that Beavers would assume John Stroger's County Commissioner seat while Todd Stroger, if elected, would take over the County Board presidency. This announcement came four days after the deadline for third-party candidates to file for the Board presidency race.

The Cook County Democratic Central Committee (a collection of 80 county Democratic party leaders also known as "ward committeemen" or "township committeemen") overwhelmingly chose Todd Stroger to replace his father as the Democratic candidate for Cook County Board president for the Nov. 7, 2006, election.

He won a "close" race in the general election. This means it wasn't a complete and total landslide.

STATE
State government has been down right boring since Evil Santa Claus left... (oh, that would be the one who killed nuns and children, our pal, the honorable, the convicted and sentenced by a Federal Jury, George H. Ryan.) Well, he did get Federal prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald's career going, so there's that bonus...

Lately Speaker Madigan has been suing Gov. Bag-o-stuff and not balancing their checkbook either. There's no real state budget, and they're fighting over how much more to raise taxes. They're all Democrats. They fight each other worse than their opponents. Lucky for them George Ryan burnt the house so far to the ground that he took down every Republican with him.

Which is kind of how Obama won the Senate seat, and looks so popular - but that's another history lesson. It's got all kinds of sex and depravity and religious kooks... perhaps that's a posting for later? It would tarnish some of the Obama legacy if only they all knew...?

What's to be done? Tax revolt? Attack them at the polls and run them into the lake? Carpetbagging Republicans? Nope. Most likely nothing...

...but I'll tell you this, there will be a population of people who will vote with their feet. They know it's not worth the fight to stand up to decades of corruption and waste and tax hikes to cover their mess.

The people will simply move. They'll move out of the city. They'll move out of Cook County. They'll continue to move out of this state.

A lot like Lincoln, Grant, and Reagan.