Anti-Consumption Hypocrisy Explosion

Maybe you've actually read Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax? Well there's one of those slapped together 90 minute versions coming to the big screen now... 


Oh, you haven't read it? Or maybe it was in the 70's? Well The Lorax is the Silent Spring for the grade school set. The original Woodsy Owl spokesperson for conservation. It's simply an anti-consumer/anti-capitalist warning against rampant greed and consumerism which destroyed the forest of Truffula Trees and the Brown Bar-ba-loots, Swomee-Swans, and Humming-Fish that depended on them. The whole damn ecosystem is gone to make a Pillow Pet, or a sweater or some-such-thing. 


Here's the ironic bit about it... the whole thing is being co-opted by corporate greed. I mean, above and beyond the bastardization of the story now that Seuss's corpse is fairly cold now.


As The Lorax arrives in theaters— there's dozens of corporate tie-ins riding the coat tails. While the story teaches children to conserve the earth’s finite resources, these heavily advertised partnerships compel them to consume, consume, consume. Hah! 

• The new Mazda CX-5 SUV—the only car with the “Truffula Seal of Approval.”
• Seventh Generation household products and diapers festooned with the Lorax.
  
• IHOP’s kids’ menu items like Rooty Tooty Bar-Ba-Looty Blueberry Cone Cakes and Truffula Chip Pancakes.
  
• In-store promotions featuring the Lorax at Whole Foods, Pottery Barn Kids, and Target.
  
• Online Lorax games and sweepstakes for YoKids Yogurt, Comcast Xfinity TV, Target, IHOP, and HP.
  
• HP’s “Every Inkling Makes a Difference” in-school curriculum produced and distributed by Scholastic.
  

"UNLESS someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not." —The Lorax

Surprisingly though, no Humming-Fish Sticks by Swanson? A missed opportunity there.


The humor, of using a beloved children’s story with a prescient environmental message to sell kids on everything from SUVs to pancakes isn't lost here.

If you care about this - or want to show your children to be more like the Lorax. Sign a pledge to shun The Lorax’s corporate cross-promotions.


Anti-Consumption hypocrisy may be in contention of Hypocrite of the Year Award. Hell, we may have to retire the award after this one, folks.

Princess Leia performing her "Victorious Wookie” yoga pose

You can buy a print of this Princess Leia pose guide (by Rob Osborne) on Etsy. (via Diary of a Death Starlette)

Your New President

This isn't Photoshopped. It's real. It's a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll that predicts that if the elections were held today, Rick "don't google me" Santorum — the presidential candidate who believes that pregnant rape victims should make the best of it, that free prenatal testing leads to more abortions, and that, contrary to the Constitution, the separation of church and state should not be absolute — would defeat President Obama by three percentage points.

To be fair, Romney matches up 48% over Obama's 46% too.

Santorum says he doesn't believe in separation of church and state

Rick "don't google me" Santorum said he doesn't believe in the separation of church and state, adding that he was sickened by John F. Kennedy's assurances to Baptist ministers 52 years ago that he would not impose his Catholic faith on them.

So, he doesn't "Believe in the Constitution?" Which he has pledged to defend?

"I don't believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute," Santorum, a devout Catholic and complete and total moron, said in an interview from Michigan on ABC's "This Week."

"The First Amendment means the free exercise of religion and that means bringing people and their faith into the public square."

Santorum's latest foray into the hot-button, faith-based issues that so fire up the party's evangelical base comes as his chief rival for the Republican nomination, Mitt Romney, begins to pull ahead slightly in the state of Michigan, where he was born and raised.

Both Michigan and Arizona hold their primaries Tuesday. And I speak to those voters now - and Democrats - get this guy off the stage RIGHT NOW. Go and vote and take this guy out of contention. Get off that "Santorum is god's gift to Obama's re-elecetion campaign." thinking. This is not a time for Colbert-nation jokes! 

Santorum's "startling" stances on social issues like birth control and religion are getting the most attention countrywide.

He's been unapologetic about some of his more controversial remarks, even reiterating Sunday his past remarks that Kennedy's 1960 speech in Houston made "me want to throw up."

"To say that people of faith have no role in the public square? What makes me throw up is someone who is now trying to tell people that you will do what the government says," Santorum said.

"That now we're going to turn around and impose our values from the government on people of faith." America is all about embracing diversity, he added.

"What we saw in Kennedy's speech was just the opposite, and that's what's so upsetting about it," he said.

Folks, he's starting to make Pat Robertson look like a tolerant and reasonable man!

Matthew 6:1 "Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven."

Over Reaction, Overwhelming Force: A Gun Story

A Kitchener, Ontario man was arrested at his child’s school, dragged to a police station in handcuffs, and strip-searched — all over a drawing of a gun his four-year-old daughter made in class.

Oh, and the gun? From the drawing? It was a toy.

School officials and local authorities say they stand by their decision to investigate 26-year-old Jessie Sansone over concerns that his children may have access to a lethal weapon. ”We did what we were supposed to do,” said superintendent Gregg Bereznick.

Stephanie Squires, Sansone’s wife, was also brought in for questioning. And three of his four children were interviewed by Family and Children’s Services.

Police said they were certain an accessible weapon posed a threat to the children after the daughter provided a “jaw-droppingly” accurate description of a semi-automatic gun.

But additional interviews revealed the truth: The gun was a toy.

A searching of Sansone’s home turned up a “partly transparent, plastic gun” capable of shooting pellets that resemble “tiny purple candy gum balls.” There were no pellets in the home, and the gun belonged to Squires’ brother, who left it behind after his stay with the family ended.

Sansone may have triggered an overreaction from police because of his criminal past.

Now a life counsellor at a Sobriety Center, Sanson was once convicted of assault and attempted burglary. He noted that none of his priors involved firearms.

The principal of Forest Hill Public School phoned Sansone to apologize, but was told it was too little too late. Sansone says his family and his name have been “tarnished,” and his children will not be returning to that school.  [therecord.]

Remember kids, practice safe gun handling at all times when cleaning or drawing for practice... oh, maybe that's not the 'drawing' that we're talking about?

Oh, and because it might be relevant, he was Canadian.

Sunday Comics

Time for the week in review.

Oscar telecast is on tonight. Expect "The Artist" to eat all the awards...

Hey, um, next time you're getting rid of Holy texts, just dispose of them without telling anyone about it - okay? Seems fewer people will get shot over it. Maybe they could have just redacted the notes that were being passed back and forth? 

For the record, those Koran's were US Federal property. They should have just shipped them through the US Mail - where they would be sent to purgatory. Apparently the US soldiers feel helpless about it.

Well, I wonder how pissed off they'll be when we start another war in the Middle East?

The War Drums are getting louder and louder. The UK already seems predisposed to fight their next battle - they're planning on sending troops to UAE. And a submarine. [More] And even when there's a war there, how will anyone stop Iran from getting and using a nuclear weapon?

Iran has rapidly ramped up production of higher-grade enriched uranium over the last few months, the U.N. nuclear agency said Friday, in a confidential report that feeds concerns about how quickly the Islamic republic could produce an atomic bomb. The International Atomic Energy Agency report also said Iran failed to give a convincing explanation about a quantity of missing uranium metal. Diplomats say the amount unaccounted for is large enough to be used for experiments in arming a nuclear missile. [more]

If you want to see what a "Big" nuke would do to Israel - someone made a map of it. 

We're going to be at war, but the over under is whether it'll be before the election or after it.

Quick thought, how does irradiating the land help the Palestinian people? 

The fact that Rick "don't google me" Santo-rum has gotten this far scares the living hell out of me, and it ought to scare every Democrat in the nation. Unless Obama hits that number 8 target in October, he ought to be very scared too.

And he's not really helping himself lately. He's, at best, a very bad politician. The worst case is that he doesn't know he's a really bad politician.

The federal government could hit the debt ceiling sooner than expected — and possibly around the November election — according to a report out Friday. Lawmakers on Capitol Hill had hoped that last summer’s deal to end the nasty fight over lifting the debt ceiling would ensure the issue wouldn’t resurface until at least 2013. But the Bipartisan Policy Center said Friday that the debt-limit doomsday could come earlier than that. [source] 

Joke's on both of them - it's not that gas prices are rising, the dollar is falling... stupid. [Forbes]

And Greece continues to be the money pit, and Illinois is the US's Greece. And the entire US elected a politician from Greece to run the country, and we're standing around wondering why everything looks like Chicago? 

Ah well, that's a week folks. I'll try to meet back here tomorrow and the next day. See you then.

Catch-Up with Cartoons

Gotta catch up a little here... so here's some comics

Rick "don't google me" Santorum is really surging.

Rumor has it that Ron Paul has made a deal with Romney so that Rand can be his VeeP. Need proof? Watch the latest debate again and tell me how often the two attacked each other? How many times did Paul attack Ricky? How many ads has Paul run against Rick? Oh, sure, pure speculation, of course.

 IF the Greeks take the latest bail out they'll be 120% over their budget, instead of their current 168%.

Hope and Unicorn game.Wonder when the US will recognize they're just as screwed as the EU, and Illinois is their Greece? Not anytime soon. Illinois is still promising unicorns and fairy dust.

 I love this cartoon, because it explains exactly what I've been repeating for years. Electric ain't green.

And there was some talk about John Glen's mission anniversary.  Funny, we found the cash to have a space program and the Great Society at the same time in the 60's. The successful one got cancelled. Maybe we should reconsider that one?

More later. Still coughing up phlegm, bile and other stuff. On the mend - hope to fling that phlegm bile and other stuff here instead. Talk soon.

Sick

Just a heads up - Cap'n's sick today and will be out until otherwise noted. I'm not faking it, and no, it's not a hangover -- I wish it were just a hangover. At least I would have earned it.

Talk soon.

Happy Valentines Day

Adele Eats Grammys Up

Dude should'a learned from Alanis Morissette - don't dump her badly. She'll sell a billion albums. Told you yesterday she was gonna' win them all.

I came for the Beach Boy reunion, and fast forwarded most of the rest.

Meantime, look, and weep for the end of civilization... Tweeters to whom there is no Paul.

Rest in Peace Sir Paul.

Are You Kidding Me?

I think that many Americans feel as this man does. Not an issue of party affiliation: they're all at fault. 

The Week in Review

A coked out pop singer who was in an abusive relationship... has died. No, not Rihanna. The other one. The one from the 80's. ABC News thought it was so important, they interrupted the Charlie Brown Valentines cartoon. I haven't been this angry since they bumped the Bugs Bunny Easter Special to cover Ronald Reagan's assassination attempt.

Mitt took Maine, by a nose hair, but earlier lost some speed as Rick "Don't Google Me" Santorum stuck it out long enough for those religious messages to make the news cycle. He was rewarded Colorado and Minnesota (and a non-binding something in Missouri) when Mr. Obama dug, placed and then stepped on a political/religious landmine this week. For some reason, the political masterminds in the White House didn't see anything wrong with making Catholics working in Catholic institutions getting free condoms or pills from the Catholic Church? Apparently the most left leaning political folks don't understand that they're dealing with religion, money, and politics - and the State ordering religion to buy things in which that religion is actively against. We'll call this the February Fumble as we anticipate the October Surprise.

Imagine a real libertarian picking up that loose ball that Obama dropped? Separation of Church and State? The government ordering anyone to buy something? All the fun-ness of ObamaCare have just popped back out and is the fault of the White House. He's since backtracked, a tad, but is it too late? Even for liberal Catholics? 57% support the new rule... but let's see. Maybe they'll just close their wallets and stay home on November 2nd?

And speaking of wallets, in a complete about face the White House has decided that Super PACs are super cool and all that bad mouthing of that sort of thing must have been someone else. I guess that Super PACs are no longer "a threat to Democracy"? Maybe having a financial disadvantage is the larger threat?

Prop 8 was deemed unconstitutional, delighting many, despite that it's just another step in a long tailed adventure in the courts. California's system of asking people to create a rule, just to have the courts upturn the people a little while later might be the reason they never have any money.

A couple other things happened this week... John Boehner is dropping the Fast and Furious investigations - which means there's a back door compromise hiding around here somewhere. To say that I'm disappointed by the Speaker with no teeth is an understatement. 

Syria continues to be serious - but no one is doing anything about it. They've even decided to stop counting bodies. As the world debates whether to intervene, the people are asking the world "what the hell are you waiting for?"

Greece had a deal for another handout - then didn't, again. It's such a boring story now, it's hardly worth cutting'n'pasting it.

And if you're in Europe, maybe you've noticed the massive Anti-ACTA protests? Germany has backed away from it.

And tonight Adele will probably take all the Grammy's home in a wheel barrel. Don't tell me you haven't heard that song. It was everywhere last year.

And something else you'll be experiencing everywhere soon - Drones. Congress just rubber stamped that one. Don't worry, it'll just be to track wildlife and, uh, Henry Hill, and anything else that looks suspicious. And if you think you can avoid the drones, look out for the speed cameras that Rahm Emanuel is hanging all over Chicago. A great man once sang, "Don't follow leaders watching parking meters." Apparently the people of Chicago didn't hear that lyric?

Saturday Morning Cartoons

Kiss - A Love Story from RACECAR

Fresh of the the festival circuit, where it was projected in super wide-screen, Kiss is an art film. It was co-directed by Joseph Hodgson and Franck Aubry through Oslo, Norway graphic design studio Racecar. Hodgson writes:

“As Paul Auster once said “The sun is the past, the earth is the present and the moon is the future.” “Kiss” is a no-budget, independent film, undertaken to examine a simple idea: We set out to explore the consequence of something as innocent as a kiss. We believe that every solar eclipse is the moon’s attempt to reach the sun. Our idea is personified through the sun and the moon as seen from earth… a love story plain and simple.“

For more information and art, visit the Kiss website.

My Star Wars Prequels : The Clone Wars

Ah, Star Wars...

With all this talk about Star Wars 3D coming out - yet another grab at my wallet by Lucas - The failure of Jar Jar, the Greedo 'always' shot first comment in the Hollywood Reporter today... ugh... Just got me thinking of 'my' version of Star Wars - that I came up with when I was 6.


Opening crawl: There's a Clone War on, and it's the Mandilorians in their armor vs the remains of the Old Republic... That's a billion Boba Fetts vs. The Jedi. Light Sabers vs. Blasters. That's all you gotta' know.

It starts with old man Anakin (no less than 40 years old) flying his large garbage hauler with some other dudes, and accidentally his hyperdrive pops off in the middle of a giant space battle. Obi Wan crashes into the garbage ship - and recruits the crew to be his men. That's right, he makes them Jedi. On the spot. (Recruit, transcript, Mind Trick... whatever works) Anakin shines above the rest, seeing his chance to get out of his crummy job and become a war hero.


In their first adventure, it's a spectacular battle to save a Princess of a doomed world, Obi Wan and Anakin both fall in love with her (the Luke + Leia parallel) in the rescue.


Anakin becomes a spectacular pilot and uses the Force in unique and dangerous ways. He can push enemy Slave 1 ships into each other, pull off Mandilorian jet packs, and throw loose items into the advancing armor clad enemies.


Eventually Obi Wan singles out Anakin and gives him 'extra' training - something the other recruits don't learn in their Force training... and Anakin dives right in... but soon decides it isn't enough. He wants, craves, more power. He learns about the Dark Side, and with the war on, Obi Wan doesn't have time to send Anakin for proper Yoda training on Dagobah.


Princess Amadala and the Jedi love triangle ends with Anakin going to the Dark Side to defeat Obi Wan and win his girl's heart. Ooops! It doesn't work out as planned - she likes Ben- decides to marry him. Anakin tricks her to thinking that he's Obi Wan on the honeymoon (not too far fetched, since King Arthur's Dad did this) and ta-da you get the two twins!


Obi Wan burns Anakin up for this treachery, but he survives the battle. The Princess and Ben hide on Dagobah. Yoda knows what's going on, even though he's never left. He's got the Force, you know? Amadala gives birth in Yoda's hut (Luke remembers it when he lands there!) and Obi Wan sends her away (with the Droids) to live safely on Alderan... she eventually dies there (we don't need to see that since it's resolved in conversation on Endor).

Meanwhile, Obi Wan is so pissed off (in a Zen non-angry Jedi way) so he decides to hide out and protect Luke from Vader - hoping to one day use Luke as the ultimate weapon against him. ... which is exactly what worked out. And it's a double bonus - he get's his payback by saving the galaxy because remember, Jedi don't get revenge, they get even.


And why not hide on a dust ball of a planet that Vader would have zero reason to go to? How about Ben's brother Owen's house? Tatooine! Sure 3P-O said it was his first job, but he was also trying to get off that Jawa Transport.


If you HAVE to see any other characters - you could have Jedi Wookies, and there's the lesser roll with Yoda. C3-PO would have been Amadala's protocol droid, and R2 would have been Anakin's on that garbage ship.... Remember in the original three stories the two Droids are the storytellers -- it's all from their perspective, something completely lost in the prequels.


There's no robot armies, no Trade Group nonsense, no air breathing talking fish people, no galactic C-SPAN. Just a bunch of Jedi and Boba Fetts blasting the hell out of each other as the love triangle story plays out.


The Emperor and all other storylines happen off screen... just like the original three. The Clone Wars are the backdrop while the first two movies happen. The Jedi are decimated, and by the time Vader rises at the beginning of episode 3, he's in his full black armor searching for Obi Wan and his wife and taking down the remaining Jedi. He's searching for Obi Wan just like he's looking for Luke in Empire. And he's pissed. The Jedi try to protect Obi Wan, and die doing it. The Emperor rises because, well, he's enjoying all this, and can even be playing both sides of the Clone War the way Lucas has him doing it. He wins either way... but my version makes him rise because of the power vacuum that Vader created -- there aren't any more Jedi Knights to protect the fragments of the Republic. The Emperor then creates the Stormtrooper army to fill the void - with the spoils of war, the Cloning tanks. And this story makes the Death Star(s) an absolute necessity to keep control, not a luxury public works project.


We know nothing of the Rebellion until we see Leia's ship when it's introduced in Episode 4.


Maybe I'll put that on Kickstarter and do what JJ Abrams called his reboot of Star Trek... an "Alternate Timeline."


PS - Boba Fett would be the last of the Clones, and he's an old man reduced to being a bails bondsman, so his being tossed into the sarlac pit in Jedi becomes an appropriate death, not a limp death to an iconic character.

Does George Lucas Have Brain Damage?

Serious question. Really.

In a new interview with the Hollywood Reporter, Lucas claims that Han never shot first. Never.

"The controversy over who shot first, Greedo or Han Solo, in Episode IV, what I did was try to clean up the confusion, but obviously it upset people because they wanted Solo [who seemed to be the one who shot first in the original] to be a cold-blooded killer, but he actually isn’t. It had been done in all close-ups and it was confusing about who did what to whom. I put a little wider shot in there that made it clear that Greedo is the one who shot first, but everyone wanted to think that Han shot first, because they wanted to think that he actually just gunned him down."

Right. Is he just trolling fanboys at this points?



Okay?  Now, to be fair, and he brings the point to a head by noting that Blade Runner has been cut "about sixteen times since Sunday."

The best part about the interview? It interrupted a discussion he was supposed to be having with Spielbergo about Indiana Jones 5.

DUI Checkpoint Refusal

He asked the magic question that everyone should know: "Am I free to go?" The definition of being arrested is along the lines of "A reasonable person would assume that they were not free to leave." Once you've been arrested you must be informed of your rights and provided with counsel, unless you choose to waive that right. After asking if he was free to leave the police officer had a decision to make, either cite some form of probable cause for a search/arrest, or let him leave. Remember that question! Am I free to go? If they say yes, you leave; if they say no, you ask for a lawyer and refuse to say anything else until that lawyer arrives.

But, you also have to have balls of steel.

Dear ClimateFaithers: Give Up

In an interview on Co.Exist, economist Gernot Wagner of the Environmental Defense Fund says just throw up your hands and give up. It's not worth it, because you're doing it all wrong.

Wagner: Environmentalists, all too often, think that the best way to go about solving the problem is to get everyone to do as they--we, I included--do. I don’t eat meat. I don’t drive. But individual do-gooderism won’t solve global warming.                  
And it may actually be counter-productive, for two reasons. First, there’s a well-documented psychological phenomenon called “single-action bias.” You do one thing, and you move on. You carry your groceries home by foot, in a cotton canvas bag, and you think that single act of environmental kindness makes up for other sins. 

Second, you spend all your energy thinking about these tiny things. Should you buy the local apples that have been stored for months in a cool house somewhere, or should you buy the fresh apple flown in from across the world? Or should you not buy apples at all when they are not in season and risk not getting enough vitamins?
You’d go positively crazy trying to figure out what to do, and you’d miss the big picture: That, at the end of the day, none of that really matters.

So what should we do? Oh, the typical Cap-n-Trade nonsense. Here's the rest on Co.Exist: Link

Me? I think I'm going to slaughter a cow and chop down a tree to cook it with.

America At Halftime

Here's the best rebuttal that I've seen yet to the Clint Eastwood commercial -- 

Arnold and Stallone get shoulder surgeries together.

"COHAGEN, give theze people da air!!!"

Like the tipped over Italian cruise liner - is there a better metaphor for the times we live in? The two hottest action figures of the 1980's in hospital beds next to each other. America at half-time.

Arnie hurt his shoulder during filming, and coincidentally met Stallone in the hospital, for a similar operation.

Gurgling Rumors of War

Can we quit tap dancing around the 'crackdown' on the Syrian people by their President Bashar al-Assad, and say it is a civil war now? It's clearly out of anyone's control, and the Russians and the Chinese are making money from it which is why they vetoed any action in the UN Security Council. Let's cut the b.s. about 'referendums' and 'dialogue' and call it what it is. Russia is trying to come out as a relevant player in the region by playing peace keeper, - and possibly more importantly, keeping the US from knocking out one of Iran's best chess pieces. Watch out Russia, if you play with matches you're likely to get burnt.

Speaking of fire, and Iran, there's still fairly high tensions in the Middle East, and there's snow in Denver. Somehow those two are news? Iran continues to stage military maneuvers amid its threats to close the vital oil shipping lanes in the Strait of Hormuz. And Israel continues to mull a military strike on Iranian nuclear facilities, while politicians are urging Washington to show Tehran that it faces a credible military threat. The Iranians are working on their nuclear bomb -er, reactor- in a bunker, while they're dismissing the US sanctions as 'psychological warfare.'

Now, let's say that Bashar falls, and the Iranian cash flow via their oil is totally stopped up = ta dah, I give you the next war in the Middle East - the Big Iranian War. Iran loses their influence in the region if Damascus falls and they would have no money when the EU and US plug up their oil... so the Iranians would simply decide to ruin everyone else's day too. And then there's a new medal for US Vets.

Thinking of America's Veterans, let me get this straight, the New York Giants get a ticker tape parade, but there hasn't been one for the veterans of Iraq. It's not a big deal until you realize there have been 4 parades for team sports in NYC, and zero for Vets since 2000. Just to be clear, this act clearly shows everyone who our real heroes are.

Call + Response

 Try luminous ball of hydrogen plasma.... but hey, Internet, you're trying.

Call and response is a form of "spontaneous verbal and non-verbal interaction between speaker and listener in which all of the statements ('calls') are punctuated by expressions ('responses') from the listener.

Not Aware of the Satire

Wholesale Abortion? Costco is offering abortions now?

Rep. John Fleming (R-LA) is ironically above the satire, by himself becoming the subject of satire. Well, one thing is for sure - he knows what the internet is and how to repost stuff.

And yes, it's the same John Fleming who opposed to the tax hike, by stating that of his 6.3 million dollar income he only has about $600,000 leftover for his family and investments.

The Week in Review

Hey everyone, I hope I'm not taking you from the pre-pre-pre-pre game. There's still only 8 hours until the new VW commercial.

Mitt won Nevada last night. This is news the same way it'll be a surprise when he takes Utah. Not a secret - there are a lot of Mormons in Nevada - including the President of the Senate, Harry Reid. I suppose the bigger news is how well he took Florida from Newt, despite his recent "I'm not concerned about the very poor" gaffe. The only number that means anything right now is "8", and plus a couple. Eight, or higher is where the unemployment number needs to be in November for Mr. Obama to lose his job. Otherwise, the Republicans can run around slapping paint and throwing cream pies at each other and it'll just look like cheap Vaudeville.

Did you hear about the Cancer charity that decided to not give to Planned Parenthood anymore? Yeah, about that -- the facts are irrelevant, the politics are worse, but the only take away you need to know is that the Mob on Facebook isn't well informed - they're just an angry mob. But they're an effective mob. I would say the lesson should have been learned with the SOPA fight, but it wasn't, so pink ribbons are now on notice. Me? I soured to that whole racket once they started suing any other charity who said, "for the cure." I'm not too impressed by companies that use their lawyers as a goon squad -- Hallmark vs. "Happy Birthday Song" and Apple vs. Everyone Else.

And, unintended consequence of this Komen public relation fiasco isn't who should be funding women's cancer screenings or providing abortions - it's going to be abortion. And that's teeing up to become a major topic in the Presidential race. Yep, not a single other issue out there to discuss, is there? "Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others."

Egypt blew up because of their over active soccer hooligans. For the record, the Egyptian soccer fans are worse than Lakers fans because Lakers fans only riot when they win a ring, unlike the Egyptians riot kind of like whenever there's a game. Does anyone have an excuse for a military crackdown on protesters and that pesky democracy movement? Anyone?

The second largest data mine set up an IPO this week. The funniest thing I kept hearing was "but how are they going to make any money?" Folks, this isn't Groupon! It's not the worlds loudest "two-fer-one coupon." Facebook has people telling it about themselves - all day long! I just don't see how could a marketer ever use that much personal information? And if you can't see that, then I have a Groupon for that IPO to sell you. To explain it, the graffiti artist who tagged the main Facebook office stands to make 200 million from this IPO. The best part of the story is that Mr. Hearst -er- Charles Foster Kane - er - Zuckerburg somehow conned everyone to give him the voting power in all the stock. The more stock that sells, the more power Zuckerburg gets. It's amazing! Does this guy have mind control over people?

And it's the greatest day in America - it's Boston vs New York in a protracted land battle interrupted by commercials with monkeys, cars, and beer. Don't think the commercials are important? How many regular season games did your wife watch with you this year? And when else during the regular season do the commercials get trailers?

One quick note - the VW ad with the dog and Darth Vader. First off - it's going back to the well. Second - the Cantina scene is absolute rubbish. Yeah, I said it. It's not the cute little kid in the real world, it's Vader coming down to Tatooine to force choke hold the ugly doctor in the bar. That's not funny - and it's probably cannon now. I actually heard the creative director of the agency - and exploiting the GenX'ers with Star Wars is easier than shooting babies in a barrel.... I may be paraphrasing the interview. But to prove his point - let me know how many GenX'ers already posted the Ferris Bueller Honda CRV commercial to their Facebook page?

Meantime have a nice non-religious all capitalist pigskin fest. See you here back tomorrow or next week.

Bonus Cartoon: Bloody Lego Cap'n America

Extremely violent and, I don't remember Steve Rogers using a gun that often in the books... maybe it was more the modern era Rogers, who's dead now?

Enjoy the bloody lego picture. I would have posted it earlier, thought otherwise, now it's all over the interwebs, so, you've probably already watched it twice.

If that's true, go outside.

Saturday Morning Cartoon

Canadian cartoonists Seth Scriver and Shayne Ehman recently finished raising over $10,000 to complete their animated feature Asphalt Watches. They describe their collaborative two-man animated epic in the following way:

Asphalt Watches is a true adventure story: in 2000, we hitchhiked across Canada together. The animation captures our crazy journey, full of hilarious and amazing encounters. Using music and songs we make ourselves, alongside hand-drawn Flash animation, we tell the tale of making our way from a 7-11 near Chilliwack, BC where a guy was hanging out with a knife in his belly… to meeting one of only “two real Santas” in the world outside Calgary… to barely escaping death near Regina, SK. Our style is to turn real-life characters and settings into funny and poetic abstractions that depict the feeling and essence of what happened. 

The film should be finished this year. There’s an official film blog and the trailer below

ASPHALT WATCHES - trailer from Asphalt Watches on Vimeo.

Fear the Future

Yes folks, maybe the hormones are backing up in these kid's brains, or maybe they're huffing more than they let on -- either way, if you're counting on the youth of America to pick up the tab for the Boomer's spending spree, I have visual and audio proof that we're way past doomed.

We won't even be able to speak Chinese because, uh, um... "Canada? Oh, that's a state, never mind."

Eric Holder Has To Go

U.S. Attorney General Eric "Head Stooge" Holder denied the Justice Department was impeding a Republican probe into Operation Fast and Furious, the botched gun-trafficking investigation in Arizona tied to the 2010 killing of a Border Patrol agent.

Answering questions about Fast and Furious before Congress for the sixth time in a year, Holder again told lawmakers he had not authorized the operation's controversial "gun-walking" tactics, which allowed illegal guns to fall into the hands of Mexican drug traffickers without any way of tracking them. He called those tactics "unacceptable" and "stupid," and said he has issued a directive banning their future us.
Republicans [via proxy of the NRA] subjected Holder to withering criticism during the nearly four-hour hearing, with some lawmakers calling for his resignation. Others accused him of deliberately blocking the GOP-led probe.

"It appears we're being stonewalled," Dan Burton (R-Ind.) said while questioning Holder.

Not one person has been reprimanded since the 13 months this hit daylight. There have been six hearings because everytime he speaks to Congress, there's new things he forgot to forget last time he spoke. Where's the memos? Did he at least send flowers to the slain Border Agent that was killed by Eric's policy? And if it was all Bush's fault - where's that proof? The incompetency of the Attorney General is dangerous, not only to his President, but to the American People. He's gotta' go now.

The Set Up for the Fall of Kabul

At the end of a decade in Afghanistan, Defense Secretary Leon E. Panetta announced that American forces would step back from a combat role there as early as mid-2013, more than a year before all American troops are scheduled to come home.

But, that may have to do more with the lack of funds than the idea of embracing Dr. Paul's mantra of ending the wars. It seems that the Pentagon will have to create a new strategy and new budget that will conform to the spending limits imposed upon them since no one has bothered to submit a budget in 3 years. 

In the meantime, less than a couple hours earlier than Panetta's presser, a leaked document secret report showed how thousands of Taliban prisoners viewed their plight - no doubt pissed off all of the NATO Commanders. Let's just say, the camel's back is hardly broken, despite all the talk of the contrary.

Afghanistan is going to fall faster and more spectacular than Saigon.


But, in the scheme of things, maybe having radical Taliban licking at the heels of the Iranians is a better strategy than keeping a permanent base there? I'm sure that brighter minds and top men have weighed the options and have come up with spectacular battle plans. Top men... 


...like Leon Panetta? 

Glitterbomb on Romney

Mitt Romney, glitterbombed in Eagan, MN, mistakes the protest for victory confetti.

As J.R.R. Tolkien said. "All that is gold does not glitter."

And any married man who's been to a nudie bar knows, "No matter how hard you try, you can never get all the glitter out."

Romney Hates The Poor

Mitt Romney has come under fire this morning — less than 24 hours after winning the Florida primary — for telling CNN’s Soledad O’Brien that he isn’t concerned “about the very poor” because “we have a safety net there.”

Let me find the subtext over the gaffe: "Poor folks don't vote, and they sure as hell don't vote Republican. I gave my 15% to the Mormon Church, how much did Obama give his base, I mean the poor, Soladete?"