Next Time

Hey USA, you want to win the next World Cup? Let's send half of the Red Sox Nation and all of the Oakland Raiders Season Ticket holders to the the match and let's let them mix in the stands with this guy -- who is obviously what happens when you watch the Yoda scenes with too much acid.

Our people will turn those horns into beer bongs... and it'll get nuts from there. And I'm talking about those fun games between USA and the Dutch. We'll be unstoppable.

If we care.

Which we won't.

Let's let the English have their little game. We'll keep concentrating on real sports. Like badminton.