Outsourcing Cops

A reader has sent in an article for me to share with everyone:

Dear Cappy, 

Chicago wants to out-source some of its police to a private contractor. Yeah, Blackwater did such a bang up job in Iraq too.

How could Chicago outsourcing it's police force be a bad idea? I mean, what could POSSIBLY go wrong?

On the best of days, a private security or Mall-Cop, or Rent-a-Cop has far less training than a member of the Fraternal Order of Police, which means they're dangerously under prepared to preserve and protect - and their jobs aren't to protect the public, so there's potential to push their perceived authority too far. On the worst of days, their lives and the lives of others are more likely to be in danger.

Oh, and to boot, the firm under consideration? Yeah, they're foreigners. That's right, a Canadian firm is being outfitted as the "Special Patrol" which cruises the commercial strips of lower South Michigan Ave.

Hold on a second! A Canadian private security guy? Isn't that John Candy in Armed and Dangerous?

Now the idea isn't that they don't replace Chicago's Finest, its' that they perform minutia that the Chicago Cops don't do - like moving violations and handing out citations for loitering.

That's all fine and good until, well, you know, an illegal handgun is drawn? (You'll note that handguns are illegal in the city of Chicago)

The J. Carolina Hosiery store, for example, was robbed 14 times in the last year. 

"The stores are being robbed, and then they're getting extorted, and you have the little gangbangers running in and out of stores trying to rob people," said store supervisor Larry McCullough. 

Since the private security patrols arrived, the robberies have continued, "but it's slowing down, because it seems like more of the stores have to have their own guns and their own security." 

Let me get this straight, the crime has gone down because the store owners are packing illegal heat? So what do we need a bunch of expensive Mounties-for-rent trollin' the South Side? Why not go the other end of the extreme, and just hire Blackwater to take on crime on the South Side. Or go totally nuts and let a corporation just run the city, like OCP in Robocop? An ED-209 would surly end that little graffiti problem lickity split.

Am I nuts? Sure, I am... what're your thoughts on this?