Affect/Effect

There are five distinct words here. When “affect” is accented on the final syllable (a-FECT), it is usually a verb meaning “have an influence on”: “The million-dollar donation from the industrialist affected the Senator's vote against the Clean Air Act.”

Occasionally a pretentious Spelling Nazi will affect an artificial air of sophistication. Speaking with a borrowed French accent or ostentatiously wearing a large diamond tongue stud might be an affectation. In this sort of context, “affect” means “to make a display of or deliberately cultivate.”

Another unusual meaning is indicated when the word is accented on the first syllable (AFF-ect), meaning “emotion.” In this case the word is used mostly by psychiatrists and social scientists— people who normally spell it to keep up the air of jackassery.

The real problem arises when people confuse the first spelling with the second: “effect.” This too can be two different words. The more common one is a noun: “When I failed to clear the bong, the effect was that the house filled with smoke.” When you affect a situation, you have an effect on it.

The less common is a verb meaning “to create”: “I’m trying to effect a change in the way we purchase widgets.” No wonder people are confused. Note especially that the proper expression is not “take affect” but “take effect”—become effective. No one said English was logical: just memorize it and get on with your life.

All that sh*t you own? Your personal effects.