Advice

Cap'n's Advice for new Poppa OneF.

1. You're going to get a lot of advice on how to raise your child. Solicited or not. My response to this advice has been, "Sure, we'll be sure to [insert useless advice that was not asked for here] as long as you'll be paying for this kid's diapers/college/therapy...
2. Cash that check first, and then implement said advice.
3. I heard this one a lot, "It gets better." They're lying. Don't believe them.
4. It does NOT get better - it CHANGES.
5. You cannot base tomorrow on what happened today - if this doesn't make sense, it will.
   
6. Avoid using your child's Social Security number for the first six months. Wrecking her credit score should wait until the kid can at least sit up on her own.
7. I would recommend you see my previous thoughts on appropriate baby music - and in doing so please remember how excited you were to chastise those thoughts 18 months ago. If it works out for you, I would like an apology. Note: I used the word "appropriate" a moment ago, because I imagine that the baby has already been rocked to sleep with Tom Waits or Leonard Cohen - simply because these are the most 'soothing' artists in your collection.
8. Good luck, Daddy. It's not about you anymore.
9. Please refer to point one. No, there will not be a check.
10. Give my love to the ladies.