Poison Toys Kill Children, Buzz Teens

Let's take a quick review of TODAY's recalls - Curious George Discovers Lead Paint, and Bindeez - the toy that puts little kids in comas...

...but the first part I want to discuss this evening is where the media couldn't wait to tell you that if you - er, that is, your kid - if your kid swallows the beads, it releases a chemical reaction that mimics the Date Rape drug.

Tests have shown chemicals in the beads turn into a substance similar to liquid ecstasy or GHB if swallowed.

Two children in North America became seriously ill after ingesting the toy.

Now, I'm not pretending that I understand this crazy group of people we call a society, but I'm PRETTY sure if you go around telling everyone on the planet that there's a 10 dollar ecstasy just waiting for them at the Toys R Us - you might not be doing your job right. This evening there are multiple stories from English speaking news agencies that are shocked, shocked by the black market that Bindeez has created. Between the creepy guys and the teenage raver kids, it should be an interesting week on eBay.

But what about the children?
As far as the kids go, here's the story on that...

Early in October, a 2-year-old boy was admitted to a Sydney hospital after he fell into a coma and began suffering seizurelike spasms. Kevin Carpenter, a biochemical geneticist in Sydney, discovered traces of Gamma-Hydroxybutyric acid, or GHB, in the boy's urine. GHB has been used as a rave drug -- at low doses, it causes a sense of euphoria -- and in the commission of date rape.

Carpenter learned that the boy had ingested Bindeez beads. When he tested the beads in a mass spectrometer, he found they contained traces of an industrial chemical that keeps glue inactive -- the chemical dissolves in water, which is why the beads stick together when you wet them.

Either way, if you take the blue Bindeez, or the red one, you're going down the slide.
Let's step back a moment. Okay, the toy is basically a really cheep raver fun toy. But for kids, this thing's basic component is still motherf*kin' small beads!

You're kidding? Your 2 year old toddler ate these things? Really? Small little beads that look like food? I'm surprised - Why the f*ck did you have this in your house you stupid somavabiach?!

The GR8 ART Bindeez Starter Pack includes 500 beads, a 4 Colour Bindeez Pen, six Template Designs, two Trays, 2 display stands, a Bindeez Water Sprayer and an instruction booklet.

Ages 4 and up

FOUR and UP. I can't do math and I STILL got that one right!

There are five dead kids on the planet now, and an instant new street drug that cost about ten bucks. Yeah, I looked it up. What of it?

Oh, and all that Curious George movie crap you bought just got recalled too. They kind of snuck that one in between the Fisher-Price and the Bindeez Buzz.

And after all that, Bindeez (The American Toy Association's Toy of the Year) sounds more like a binding drug to fight diarrhea by creating constipation.