Wake of Fake FEMA

FEMA blasted for 'news' conference.

Agency employees, not reporters, asked questions at the event. Homeland Security calls the lapse 'offensive and inexcusable.' (link)

Ah, FEMA. They're right there, proving once again that if this were a real emergency - you'd probably already be dead.

Thank you for proving my point - again - that if you're waiting for your government to come and save you during a crisis - you will die.

I'm not even going to sugar coat this one, since no matter what, someone will chime in with a smartass rebuttal.

It reminds me of the storms that hit Arlington Heights and the outer suburbs late in August. As I had just ended my prayers that I didn't have water in MY basement, my In-Laws called my mobile phone. This, in of itself, In-laws calling my cell - not my wife on the house phone, or her mobile - me directly - was strange.

"We have a little water coming in the basement."

"How much is a little?"

"Well I'm not sure"

"How's that?"

"Since there's no power, and the sun is down... and it's in the basement..."

[pause, soak it in] "(sigh) You don't know, do you? Where are you calling from?"

"The neighbor's"

"Stay put. Guard your house."

"With what?"

"I'll be right there..."

Against all common sense or perhaps the lack of will, or just knowing that I'd have to hear about 'that time we called and he let us drown' every family gathering - I packed up the family and went straight into the disaster zone.

It really was a disaster zone, too - I'm not adding hyperbole for effect - the area I was taking my family into was issued "Disaster Zone" status by the State. With good reason too.
Trees were splintered, thrown about. Branches were on houses, in houses, on cars, through cars. Power was out everywhere. Water from the storm flooded the streets. The Des Plains river was overflowing threatening homes and bridges, and three of my most logical routes to where I needed to be going.

The police were out in full force.
Making sure the traffic flowed.
That was their number one job.

Not making sandbags.

Not bailing water.

Not pulling trees out of houses.

Not restoring electricity.

Those were and continue to be other people's jobs.

They were directing traffic.


And that was one of the primary reasons I was going in there. Bailing water was a distant second

I had some half cocked idea of running their sump pump by rigging my car battery to the socket... but the logistics of the plan were making my head spin. Realizing that my car running their sump pump would only be a temporary solution, (if it worked, and it wouldn't have) and after driving through the incredible devastation, I knew it could be DAYS until they had the power back up. They even had a power line down at the end of the block.

I finally got to the In-Law's place, I noticed that one side of the street had AC, the opposite, their side, did not. I said my fifth prayer in about a half an hour. This was one of thanksgiving.

I immediately went into full ass work mode. In other words, full power ass*hole mode.
I began directing traffic to the family and In-Laws as if they were employees.

I took my hat into hand and introduced myself to their across the street neighbors, who had every lamp on that they owned. As if they were taunting the other side of the street?

Luckily, they were good people, and understood that they were just a couple feet of pavement from being in the same boat. After promises of my mother-in-law's banana bread, I was granted an outlet to run their sump pump. I ran 300 feet of stingers (electrical cable) from their exterior X-mas outlet to the in-law's basement.

Success - and within a good half hour, that sucker was drained. And since this is Illinois, they had wisely had everything in plastic containers or up off the ground - and none of the appliances were wrecked, including the brand new furnace. I was going to de-plug, but the water kept refilling the reservoir at an alarming rate, forcing me to keep the pump plugged in. I informed the neighbor, they were happy to have helped.

A couple lucky breaks here and there make this a good story. But I often wonder how it could have turned the other way, and very quickly. I could have ended up bailing all night, or pulling all their nick-nacks out all night long. I helped put them there in the first place - so it would have been a weekend long, back breaking process; lots of books.

I cleaned up (running water!) and I spoke with a few of the neighbors, who had congregated outside. Some of them were elderly, or older folks looking after elderly parents. I asked each and every one of them if they had any type of 'protection.' Some understood and nodded, others mentioned their cell phone. I was not encouraged by some of their responses. But at least now they were all thinking about it.

I remember my wife remarking "How come the police aren't doing anything?"

"What, exactly? (pause) You mean, about the power? Not their job."

"And you've got me all scared thinking my parents aren't safe..."

"They're not - (swallow) But the neighbors are all standing together keeping watch now."

However, I do know people in other areas with similar stories. One in particular was when a truck was driving very slowly 'casing' his neighborhood.
He pointed his flashlight at the truck. They flashed back to him. They saw the Remington. They moved on, with a bit more pep.

His story took place less than 24 hours after the storm. He also mentioned that one of his neighbors is a State Senator, so not even the anointed ones were getting special treatment. Was his story real or imagined? I don't know - I wasn't there. But even at my In-Laws, there were a few slow cars driving up and down the street. There was even a couple handing out pamphlets for a plumbing company. However, when they were walking around knocking on doors - what was my first reaction? I shouldn't ask you that, I'll just tell you - I thought they were casing the neighborhood to see who was home.

Paranoid. Maybe? Better safe than sorry. You bet.

My In-Law's power was restored 4 days after the storm, my buddy with the 12 gauge a bit longer. His kids had to get ready for their first day of school by candlelight (which, I think, is kinda' cool).

Point of all this? My In-Laws had their kids to rely on. The elderly in their neighborhood had their kids. The families and neighbors pulled together.

There wasn't a cop, a fireman, an insurance agent, or a utility worker around for four full days. If you were waiting for someone else to save your ass, you were going to be very disappointed. No kidding FEMA faked their press conference.