Noah's Ark has been corrupted as a disguise for fundamentalist Christian sex education! And they're forcing it on to our children!These fundamentalist Christans are poisoning our children's minds with unspeakable, horrible filth. Filth that is sex and perversion disguised as a friendly trip to the zoo. Imagine, a group forcing their views on our poor defenseless children!?
Children, naturally, question why God orders Noah to bring a male and female animal aboard the ark before the rains wipes out all of the sinful men and women left behind.
What's a parent to do? A responsible parent is forced to answer their inquisitive child with the appropriate and accurate biological description of how a mommy and daddy lion or giraffe will procreate to fill the land with animals once again.
Truly, a terrifying experience when your one year old points at the elephant toy, and shrugs her shoulders wondering why the Noah's Ark Playset has two elephants. The parent must then go into graphic description of the conception process through birth, and then over and over again , in and out, in and out, over and over to cover each of the billion or so species that Noah was ordered to take on board.
Puzzled looks, followed by crying is sure to ensue with every telling of this pornographic tale of graphic sex, violence, and a vengeful God who wipes out all the polar bears and kitty cats who were not taken aboard the Ark. It's worse than an Al Gore movie (also highly inappropriate for young children, I might add!).
To think these 'fundamentalist' values have crept into our Vacation Bible Schools and Snowball Retreats makes me fear what could possibly be next!? Perhaps the Genesis story itself? Do I have to tell my one year old that the only way that Adam and Eve could have possibly populated the Earth would have been by incest with Cain? One shudders at the idea that these so-called-'Christian' ideologies are seeping into the very basic value systems that we hold dear!
What's worse, is the far reaching effect these detached ideas could have! The Ark story is told to Jewish, Christian and ALSO Muslim children too! There are even flood stories dating back to the Epic of Gilgamesh in Babylon!
Imagine the lack of values, or taste that these fundamentalists would dare to take a story of values, rainbows, and reverence to the Lord and twist it into a sultry, steamy sex story? Why not just show them Deep Throat and let our children's minds be corrupted once and for all?
Shame on them, and shame on them for ruining a tale of praise and redemption for children.
An uncomfortable feeling, isn't it, when toddlers point out the obvious holes in the plots of the bedtime stories they are told?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you: We should not teach the story of Noah's ark to children...
...But not for the reasons stated above. We should eschew the story of Noah's ark for a much simpler reason: It is the product of plagerism. Teach "The Epic of Gilgamesh" instead. It's more original. Why, I have a copy right here...
(Don't laugh. I actually DO have a copy of "The Epic of Gilgamesh." So there.
Oh, and another thing...
ReplyDeleteI vote for "Debbie Does Dishes" over "Deep Throat."
Just one man's opinion.